Don't Make Me Over
by LusciousNesha
Summary: Mercedes "Jonesy" Jones is an aspiring makeup artist with a strong sexual past, wanting to turn over a new leaf. As she focuses on her herself and her dream career, she can't help but start to see her sexy best friend/roommate Sam in another light. Rated M for language and sexual content, NOT graphic sexual scenes. TW- sexual abuse, abuse, other violent/sexual themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Make Me Over**

Mercedes Jones, or Jonesy, as they called her, dolled herself up in the usual way. It literally took her hours to get ready to go anywhere. Tonight, she wore blackish plum eyeliner and eye shadow and followed her shadow with a lighter purple, then a trail of purple glitter. She wore long, fake eyelashes with crystal dewdrops on the tips and traced her beautifully arched eyebrows with heart shaped miniature body crystals and a pair of tweezers. A grape glaze lip gloss she brushed on her plump full lips and placed a silver star sticker on her left cheek, right at the corner of her eye. By the time she finished her face and glanced at the clock, she began to rush.

Hell, if she was late to the show, she would never hear the end of Sam's complaining. "It doesn't take that long to perfect your makeup – you don't need all of that shit anyway…" She rolled her eyes at even the thought of her best friend/roommate's tangents about something that had nothing to do with him. "_My _makeup is _my _business, Sammy-Boy." But, she rushed to get herself into the dark purple and black party dress and the thigh length pair of patent leather lace up boots.

About half an hour later, she was entering the club, dancing her way across the room to where the backstage was. She paused a time or two to dance with a hot lady or a sexy man, on the way. By the time she reached the backstage, she wished that she had spent a little more time on her makeup (though she admitted that it was perfect), Sam had one of his many hometown groupies crowded up under him, and she barely had on anything. "Alright, Jonesy's here, so all hoochies, hoes and scalawags are to excavate the premises," she announced and took a seat next to her friend.

Sam rolled his eyes and softly told the girl that he would see her or talk to her later. He winked at her and touched her chin. She scampered off and Sam glared at Mercedes, "Jealous, much?" He asked.

"No, just spoiled. If I cut my preparation time to be here before your band goes on stage, I'd simply prefer to not have to watch you get your junk sucked," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "And maybe a tad bit jealous. I'm the one who'll have to hear you two later, while I'm laying in bed alone."

"By choice," he reminded her, as he stood and tucked himself away. "You could have any guy out there that you want and you decided that you were swearing off of men for a year to focus on you… I guess that isn't going well."

"Swearing off of anything that you love to indulge in never goes well," she said. "You make it harder, though. I think I need a new roommate. Somebody not so sexually active, so I won't have to hear that kind of stuff all night, and I'd like to be able to walk through the house without seeing your buttery golden abs." She licked her lips and he blew her a kiss. "And that stuff – it's not helping."

"I told you that you should have let me hit it before you gave it up. Now, you get to wonder what you're missing for the next year," Sam taunted. "Did you see any of the band?"

"I think that I saw Tina and Artie at the bar. I know that Finn is going to be late, because he texted me to tell me that he was going to be late, like that's my business." She said, waving her feet off of the couch.

"Probably has his face between that uppity Rachel scumbag's skirt," Sam muttered.

"You're the one who keeps saying that he's going to be put out of the band, then reneging."

"Well, we've been friends for a long time and he's an excellent drummer," Sam reasoned. "Anyway, Artie and Tina are just as responsible for us keeping him as I am. So, you're here early. That means that you can do my makeup," Sam said.

Mercedes smiled brightly and told him, "I thought that you'd never ask!" She grabbed his bag and reached inside for the tools. Mercedes would frequently do some face art for Sam and the other's in the local band Shucks on a Shingle… probably one of the silliest names that she had ever heard, but they were pretty much gold around Lima (Like that was anything to be proud of). She decided that she would paint on a spider crawling out of a gash in the side of Sam's face. She enjoyed doing things like that and told him that if he ever got famous, she intended to come with just to do his makeup.

Sam was the lead guitarist of the group. Tina Cohen Chang played the bass. Finn Hudson was the drummer and Artie Abrams was the lead vocalist. They had a couple of backup dancers, sometimes – who were more like glorified strippers without poles – Quinn Fabray and Santana Lopez. And that was pretty much Mercedes Jones' circle of friends…

After the show, while everyone settled backstage, Mercedes tried not to focus on the fact that the little blond dancer, Quinn was settled in Sam's lap. That was about as disturbing as Finn inviting that odd girl, Rachel, from the record store to be there. Rachel had a couple of her friends with her – a gay guy named Kurt and his boyfriend, Blaine. The three of them looked like they were completely in the wrong place, but as Rachel affectionately loved on Finn, Mercedes struck up conversation with the guests and decided that they were alright. "I just love your makeup," Kurt commented. "Are you a queen?"

"I'm a woman," she told him.

He said, "I'm sorry. Your makeup is just that impressive. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Are you kidding? That may be the best compliment that I've had in quite some time. Do you realize how fabulous I think that those women are? I would love to be able to study under some of them, to work on my makeup skills, you know?"

Sam called out, "Let's not be ridiculous, Jonesy. You are the best makeup artist in town."

Kurt nodded and said, "You really do have quite some flair to your work. But, you know what – I may know someone who could help you to accomplish working in that setting. I know girl who dresses up, but she generally has always had her own personal artist. But, for the past month or so, she's had to do her own."

Blaine clapped his hands and said, "Unique would LOVE you, if your makeup is any indication. You aren't particularly her style, but I'm sure you can adapt."

"Unique could use a makeover," Kurt said, shaking his head. "I'm excited at the prospect. I've got to call her, right now!" He pulled out his phone and began to call his friend as the others started preparing to leave the club for the night. Mercedes waited by Kurt, while he was on the phone, trying not to watch Sam walking Quinn to her car. Kurt hung up and squealed, "She's willing to have a talk with you Monday! She asks that you bring a portfolio and dress as fabulous as your heart allows to the interview."

Mercedes cheered and threw her arms around the neck of her new favorite stranger. When she turned to tell Sam about her news, she noticed that he was getting in his truck and Quinn's car seemed to be waiting for him. When he started the vehicle, Quinn began to drive and he to follow. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her tiny handbag. _**Hey, didn't want to make your journey hard, so gonna take my sexual activity elsewhere tonight. Don't wait up, but don't eat all the leftovers. **_Kurt stared at her, watching the look on her face go from utter joy to whatever the opposite of it was. "Are you alright, Sweetie?" He asked, concerned.

Mercedes looked up and laughed, "Oh, yeah. I was just all up in this text. Concentrating a little hard." She threw the phone into her purse and headed for her car, with Kurt and Blaine walking her, to make sure that no creeps came out to bother the voluptuous woman in the dress that could make a grown man cry. She exchanged contact information with both guys, hugged them goodnight and moved to get into her car. "Jonesy! We're having an after party at Puck's!" Tina called out, waving her fohawk head as she hung out of the window of the passenger's side of Mike Chang's car. Mercedes had put several rainbow strands of extensions in her head, and Tina had been shaking them all night, making light reflect off of the shiny colors.

"Thanks, TC, but I think that I'm hanging it up for the night, Lady!" Mercedes called and waved at her friends. Kurt and Blaine were already heading to their vehicle as Mike drove off and Mercedes got into her car. She took a deep breath and replied to the text that Sam had sent her. _**I'm eating all the cheesecake, but I'll leave you some chicken and macaroni. Be safe and have some fun for me, too. **_

She was practically home when she finally got his last text of the night. _**Did you see Q tonight? Honeymuffin, I'm gonna have enough fun for everybody with that! Lol. G'night Jonesy. I'll see you in the morning. **_

It took her a long time to get ready, but it always seemed even longer to get out of everything – the lashes, the makeup, any additional hair enhancements, etc. Tonight, to hell with that shit. Wasn't there half of a homemade cheesecake in here? She reached into the fridge and pulled out what was left of the treat when her phone went off again. She checked it. _**I just realized that you said you were gonna eat all of the cheesecake. That's some bullshit, Jonesy. Save a slice, at least! **_Mercedes laughed, cut a slice off of the desert, and left it in the refrigerator. The rest was going to come with her into the bedroom. She could use something to drown her loneliness in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't Make Me Over 2**

Wasn't this always the case? Sam Evans entered the house that he split rent with Jonesy to live in and saw her sprawled on the couch, half dressed. Sam sighed and shut the door, gently – as not to wake her. At least she had taken all of that crap off of her face. He hated that she hardly ever left the house without it on. Sam fetched a thin blanket to throw over her partially naked state, and then stared at her, for a moment. She was absolutely gorgeous in her natural form and he was one of very few people who were ever able to see her this way. Sam made way for the kitchen. That damned Quinn had cans of tomato soup and goldfish crackers in her apartment… but nothing else. Who does that? It wasn't even that she was down to only some soup and crackers – the woman actually had a cabinet _full _of various styles of tomato soup and a pantry with several warehouse sized packages of goldfish.

Sam opened the fridge for his leftovers and smiled at the slice of cheesecake that his best bud had been so kind enough to leave. He heard her groan and knew that she would probably be in the kitchen soon. He sat down to eat and listened to her shuffle about in the next room, then he heard her bedroom door close. Sam shrugged. Jonesy probably had a rough night. Finn texted him to tell him that she wasn't at Puck's after the show. (Sam knew that was because Finn wanted Sam to tell him where she might be.) That fool was never really that discreet about his obsession with Jonesy, though he would never say anything aloud.

After "breakfast," Sam got up and went to check on her. He knocked and waited. When she didn't answer, he peeked in and saw her holding her gut with a grimace. "Who the hell told you to come in?" She asked.

"Too much cheesecake?" He asked.

"I vacuumed the thing and my body was not ready," she admitted. "I should have gone to that damned party and just got wasted. This never happened to me from drinking too much."

"Finn was there, looking for you," Sam said. She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Further proof that it should've been me that graced your body with the last sex it was gonna get for the next year. He's really strung out. He had that Rachel chick there and he was still texting people about you, wondering why you weren't there, wondering if something upset you, etc. I think his intention was that you get jealous of her."

"_That's _the kinda intentions that pave the road to Hell. I wish I would be jealous of that flaky damned girl." She scrunched her face up and rolled her eyes, "And how would I even begin to be jealous of someone over _Finn, _who I slept with because I was about to give up men and he was the most available person in my contacts list."

"I told you not to do it," Sam reminded her.

"You told me not to do it," She confirmed and pulled herself out of bed. Sam watched her as she made her way to the bathroom, wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tank top. "But, as I said – I was about to give it up. Wanted one last romp & it wasn't worth it, by a long shot."

"Baby dick?" Sam asked.

She peeked out of the bathroom and asked, "Why would you even want to know that?"

"Just think it'd be funny for a big ass Frankenfucker to have a pinky sized cock," Sam said with a shrug.

"Sorry, you don't get to laugh. Finn's huge… just _annoying. _He asks if he's hurting you, if you want him to stop, if you want him to do this or that…" She shut the door and called through it, "I felt like I was giving out tutorials and I just wanted my eyes in the back of my head." Sam laughed. "I mean, I guess it could've been endearing for him to want to learn me in another life or something

He heard her groan in pain and his eyes widened, "Did you start dropping a deuce in the middle of a conversation?" he called out, disgusted and genuinely disturbed.

"Who even told you to come in here, in the first place? My guts are in disarray, Boy!" She yelled back and groaned again.

Sam bit his lip and announced, "Well, I'll leave you to that!" As he left the room, he said, "We have gotten entirely too comfortable with each other in the past few years…"

Damn it if she never even wanted to look at a cheesecake or think of one or even hear the word cheesecake or cheese or cake, ever again in life. Mercedes washed up and threw on a pair of yoga pants and a different tank… she wasn't about to go a damned bit of nowhere today. "Hey, Sam – would you mind going to get me some ginger ale?" She asked as she came into the living room, then froze when she saw Quinn on her couch, with Sam.

"Sure thing," Sam said.

"Hello, Quinn," Mercedes said to the blond woman who stared back at her with a blank smile.

"Hi…"

"Mercedes," Mercedes reminded her.

"Hi, Mercedes. Nice to meet you!" The woman cheered, with a giggle. She and Sam appeared to be playing checkers, but Mercedes couldn't imagine her even getting the premise of it.

Sam sighed and reminded Quinn, "You've met her before. You've met her several times since you began dancing for us. She's literally the ONLY black friend that I have, and one of maybe three who is always at all of the places we frequently play…" He was really trying to lead her into it and Mercedes didn't too much care. She just wanted ginger ale – preferably immediately.

"Oh!" Quinn said. "Jonesy? Hi! This is what you look like without your clown makeup!" Quinn said cheerily. Mercedes' nostrils flared and she looked at Sam, who stared at Quinn incredulously.

Instead of fighting, Mercedes simply said, "My stomach, Sam…" and pouted her mouth. He nodded and set down the checkers that he had been shuffling in his hand.

Quinn smiled and asked, "Are we leaving?"

"No, you can stay here," Sam said, waving a hand.

Mercedes' eyes widened and she said through her smiling teeth, "Sam, don't you think that it would be rude to just leave your guest in the house with someone that she _hardly _even recognizes?" Her eyes seemed to say _Sam, if you leave this basic bitch in the house with me… _Sam laughed when he understood the message in them.

"You're right Jonesy!" He said, then to Quinn, "Yeah, we're gonna make a quick run." He pulled out his phone to make a list, "So, ginger ale… you have any stomach medicine?" Mercedes shook her head and he keyed in something more. "I have to get Doritos, and Krueger needs some food, while I'm out."

"Who is Krueger?" Quinn asked.

"Oh, you haven't met Krueger?" Mercedes asked, teasingly. "Oh, baby! Come meet him! You'll just love him. He's Sammy-Boy's baby!" Mercedes headed for Sam's bedroom and Quinn excitedly jumped up to follow.

Sam simply shook his head, smirking. Within moments, he heard Quinn scream out loud and she came running out the room, with Mercedes behind her holding a very sizeable Burmese Python. Quinn stopped in the middle of the room, jumped up and down and shook her hands, "Please don't bring that thing any closer to me!" She squealed, much to Mercedes' delight.

Sam got off of the couch, finally and collected his pet from Mercedes' hands, "Cut it out, Jonesy." He assured Quinn, "He's really gentle. Jonesy's being a douchebag, right now." He rolled his eyes and went to return his snake to his home.

Quinn covered her heart and shook her head, "What does it eat?" She asked.

"Mice, rats, you know – snake food," Mercedes said, now settling on the couch and balling up with her arms draped around her belly.

"Wait… He actually _feeds it animals?" _Quinn asked, appalled.

"That's what snakes eat," Mercedes told her, burying her head in her arms, now, as her arms rested on her knees. "Sammy! I'm hurting!" Mercedes called out. He came back through with his keys and slipped his feet into his already tied shoes. He made sure that he had his phone and nudged his head towards the door, to Quinn.

When Sam came back to the house alone, she fought off a grin as she asked, "Didn't Quinn help you pick out snake food?"

"You can be a real bitch, sometimes, Jonesy," he said and threw the bag of her stuff down next to her on the couch.

"Whoa, Cowboy! What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, reaching into the bag for the ginger ale and medicine.

"You were wrong to pull Krueger out like that. I know you did it to scare her," he said.

"So what? It's not like she's going to be sticking around very long. Basic bitches don't last around us and she's about as simple as they come. Why am I being called a bitch when this bitch made a jab at my 'clown makeup'?"

"She thought that you were a real life clown!" Sam said, then but his lip, trying not to laugh, but when Mercedes started, he lost it and fell onto the couch next to her, cracking up. "Oh my God, Jonesy… she is so fucking stupid. I can't abide. She asked me why I couldn't train Krueger not to eat animals, like the sharks in Finding Nemo."

Mercedes had just poured a gulp of pink bismuth down her throat and nearly choked at that admission, "Shut up, Sam!"

"I'm serious, and I think that she was, too. She looked like she was going to cry as she talked about how sad it is that people would help animals kill each other." He sat up suddenly and said, "Know what else? She has stockpiled amounts of tomato soup and goldfish crackers in her apartment… like it's all that she eats."

"Maybe she doesn't believe in killing plants for food, either and doesn't realize that there are tomatoes in the soup," Mercedes laughed.

"Don't get me wrong… I don't believe in killing animals for no good reason, but Krueger is a snake and snakes eat meat. It's natural." He shook his head and chuckled. "Maybe she isn't _stupid; _maybe she just doesn't view things the same way that everyone else does. She's quirky."

"You actually like her," Mercedes said, amused and confused. "I mean, she's pretty – she's lovely. I'd do her. She's just so…" she shook her head, "Not your type."

"How do you know what my type is? I literally have not had a single real relationship in the entire span of the time that we've known each other," Sam defended.

"And you're thinking about changing that, now? Now, with this dumbass girl?" Mercedes said, no longer even remotely amused.

"I don't think I like your tone," Sam said.

"I don't think I like the thought of having to deal with her on a regular basis. My fault, I totally misrepresented myself, just then… I meant to say I don't like the thought of having to have another damned minute of actual interaction with her."

"Well, you don't have to, then. Just, be a bitch, like you are any time I like a woman," he snorted.

"Like you haven't done the same thing to me! It's your life, but hell – what kind of a friend would I be if I just accepted any ridiculous choice that you make?"

"A real friend," he snapped and got up, "I hope you get to fucking feeling better," he told her and stormed out of the room. Mercedes sighed, aggravated. She hated when this happened, and it happened pretty much either of them was thinking about maybe getting involved with someone else, for more than just one night. The last guy that Mercedes dated, Anthony Rashad and Sam had had some major damned issues with each other and after the craziness… she shook her head.

Sam was lying on his bed with his hands behind his head when she knocked and stood outside of the door. He didn't respond, so she walked away. Sam rested for a moment longer, then went to find her in her room, knocked and opened the door without permission. "The difference between me and you is you knock and know that you can come in, but won't, I knock and don't know if I can come in, but I do."

"Came to apologize and say that I shouldn't have gave you shit about that. If you actually like this chick, I hope that she makes you happy and I'm glad that stupidity is not contagious… that was rude. I mean, I'm sorry for being a bitch and I hope that everything works out," she said.

"I know. I'm sorry for being so defensive about somebody who honestly I probably won't be interested in after a couple of months."

"My bitchiness is directly related to my body not being used to sex free living. You just got some last night, so I don't know why you'd be so frustrated," Mercedes said. Sam didn't reply. Mercedes sat up and tilted her head, "OH! You didn't! No wonder you still like her!" She laughed.

"Actually, I like her because she wants to get to know someone before she sleeps with them. We ended up talking all night and laughing together… Well, I ended up laughing at her and she ended up laughing with me, because she thinks that my laugh sounds funny…" Sam's words caused Mercedes to fall backwards on her bed laugh hysterically. Sam sat on the bed and told her, seriously, "But, even if Quinn and I start seeing each other, you know… you'll still be my bestfriend. That ain't gonna change, Jonesy."

She frowned and leaned over to rest on his shoulder, "Dude, we'll eventually have to let go of each other. I mean, it's only right that you and your chick are best friends. Another chick taking that place can get messy, real quick." She sat up and said, "Shit, I just want the chick that takes my spot to be worth it."

"Nobody's taking your spot. I'm just really lonely. I have great friends and you're an excellent bestie, but," he shrugged, "I feel like I'm ready to have a little something more."

"With Quinn?" She asked, with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know, but I'm not currently knocking anything," Sam said. His phone went off and he looked at it, 'Speak of whom…" He answered it, "Hello? Hey, you… No, she isn't feeling better yet. I just gave her the medicine. Yeah, that sounds good. Okay." He hung up, "Quinn says that she hopes you feel better soon and suggested that I come over and keep her company so that you can get some rest." He reached out to hug her and kissed her on the forehead. "Um… I have no idea what's gonna happen tonight. Don't wait up?" He got up and practically ran out of the house.

_Damn… he actually likes her._

Sam would always remember when he met Mercedes Jones. She was an apprentice at a tattoo parlor and had been working on a tattoo of Tina's for a while. Tina was going to finally be getting the thing finished, a strand of thorny roses going up the length of her entire leg, with blood seeping from the thorns and butterflies fluttering around the flowers. Sam had to take Tina that last appointment. Sam could remember taking one look at Mercedes Jones and having his breath taken away. She was beautiful, and at that time, she had an afro that she wore in a huge puff in the back of her head, with glittery tinsels hanging from the ponytail holder.

"You need ink, Lemonhead?" She asked him.

"Nope, just waiting on my girl, Tina," he said and pointed a thumb to his Asian friend with the pixie haircut.

"Tina's your girl, eh? You must be one cool dude, then. TC's quite a catch,'" she commented.

"Oh… we aren't that kind of friends. I'm totally available," he said. Mercedes' eyebrow shot up and she rolled her eyes. He stammered, "I meant Tina and I aren't together. I mean – you know… we're regular old friends."

"K," she said, no longer interested in anything that he said, assuming that he thought she wanted him, or something. But, as the night progressed with Tina's tattoo being completed, he and Mercedes kept talking while Tina grimaced and let out a cuss word here and there, not really up for much conversation, herself; and Mercedes and Sam totally hit it off.

They became friends, then they became best-friends, then he fell in love with her and had to watch her with other guys for the next few years… It was about time that he got over that shit. Hell, she was rediscovering herself, why shouldn't he? He paused before getting in his truck and looked at the house. She seemed really bothered about the thought of him being involved with someone, but he wasn't about to get his hopes up over Mercedes Jones. He'd made that mistake, before… and the next thing he knew – she had a boyfriend, who she would date on and off for almost an entire year. Sam couldn't keep holding out and waiting for that woman to decide to see him for what he was – he was a guy crazy about her. He had to take a chance and see if he could have those kinds of feelings for somebody else and more importantly, if someone else would reciprocate them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't Make Me Over 3**

Unique was quite a specimen and Jonesy adored her immediately, even though she had a bit of a tude – tude was good, as long as the bitch could take whatever she dished out… Mercedes discovered that she could. When Mercedes entered the studio, she had on one of her glittery emerald green blouses, with open shoulders and back, to show off the tattoo on the back of her left shoulder of a ladybug with "Jonesy" scripted beneath it. She had on a pair of black jazz pants and green beaded sandals, with a lot of green, yellow and blue jewelry and make up to compliment it.

"Are all of these bitches just straight up basic, or is there a special class in which all of them have enrolled in to receive proper training on how to be a proficient basic bitch?" She heard Unique asking someone on the phone. Unique was not prepared for the day and Mercedes assumed this was because she may be expected to perform a demo. "I have bags under my eyes! If I do not see the skin specialist in front of me in half an hour, I'm coming into that place and you will feel the wrath of a mad, MAD bitch!" She slammed her phone down and patted the back of her bandana wrapped hair. She turned and eyed Mercedes up and down and said, "Kurt told me that you had the style to possibly shadow mine."

Jonesy's star stud bordered eyebrow raised and she corrected the woman, "Kurt _meant _to say that my style is nothing like even the likes of you has even seen."

"Mm hmm. So, I see there is much talk and I'll admit to being slightly impressed with your presence. Of course, I think that the feathers in your eyelashes are queen and the colored fur in your hair is a nice touch, as well. Proceed with your attempt to impress me," Unique said.

Jonesy smirked and handed her the portfolio. "I think that you have working fingers. So you can see for yourself what I am capable of, then you can decided if what I am able to do is something that you would like for me to do for you." She pulled out her IPOD and began to play music, "I made a playlist of songs that WURK the designs that I am showing you." She played the first song and Unique, while taken aback by her boldness rocked her own head as she looked at the first page of eye-make up combinations and the lips, cheeks, accessories and accents that could accommodate them. When she turned the page, Jonesy changed the song.

Unique lifted her eyebrow and handed the portfolio back to Mercedesm who was already smiling confidently. This Unique might be able to wear a touch face and sport a bitchy persona, but there was no way that she wasn't feeling Cedes' talent! "And now the moment of truth," Unique said unwrapping the scarf from her head and turning to face the mirror. She opened her make up kit and barked out a request for Mercedes. Mercedes smiled at Unique's relfection and moved in to give her the demo…

Mercedes came home, so excited and practically floating, singing to herself and dancing her way up the walkway on purple butterfly stepping stones, past the garden statue fairies that she simply liked, even though they didn't have any damned garden. She got to the front door and danced in a happy circle before putting her key inside and going in. Sam would be still at work, but it was her turn to cook and she was delighted that her stomach was better. This called for a celebration meal.

She opened the cabinet to see what she had to work with and cocked her head to the side when she noticed something that she knew that she didn't the hell buy… a damned can of some tomato soup? She grabbed the things out of the cabinet and turned to face her pantry. If they were there, she was going to lose her shit, on the spot. She slowly approached the pantry, like she was in some kind of damned horror movie, investigating stuff that she shouldn't, or something. She laughed at herself when she realized how cautious and ridiculous she was being, walked up to tempo the rest of the way and quickly opened her pantry. Gold. Damn. Fish. Crackers.

"If this bitch is in my house, everybody's getting cussed out," she promised herself, under her breath and set the can of soup down on the counter. She stormed to Sam's room and shoved the door open – no Quinn, no Sam. Kruger was chilling in his den. She shut the door and went to the bathroom. No Quinn, no Sam. After going through the rooms, she became confident that all that was there of the woman were soup and crackers. She guessed that Sam had him there in case he would have to feed his new little pet. She rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen to replace the soup and get back to dinner.

In the middle of cooking, she heard her phone alert her for a text. It was playing the Munster's theme song, so that'd be Finn. She sighed and grabbed the phone. **Hey, Dolphin! Kurt told me that you got your dream job. Congrats to you! I hope that it makes you happy. Been thinking about you and hope that you're all good. Call me, if you get a chance, please? **Mercedes blinked and stared at the message for a moment. Finn was the first person to congratulate her… well, on her phone. She supposed that she probably had miscellaneous likes and comments on her facebook status, which she updated on the way to her car after her visit with Unique. She wondered if Sam had realized it, yet.

Instead of texting Finn back, she texted Sam. **Please don't make any plans tonight. I have a special celebration dinner for my new job as the personal makeup artist for Capital THE Unique. **** (Small squee!) **She then texted Finn a quick "thank you," and nothing more for fear of him thinking that it was an invitation to begin bothering her with frivolous chat. Moments later, her phone rang. It was a song by Shucks on a Shingle… it was Sam's ringtone. "Hello?" She answered and he immediately began to chant OOOHHH! And she joined him, because Regular Show was a bit of their shared sh*t and they did this OOOHHH! Chant, when applicable. She laughed and held the phone for a moment, hearing him moving around some.

"I am so proud of you, Honeybun. But, why are _you _cookin'? This is _your _special celebration," he said. "I know it's your turn, but I'da cooked for you, considering. You've been wanting to do this for so long… Jonesy – I can't even express how happy for you I am!"

"Well, that means a lot. And just to let you know – whenever you get famous, no matter what, I _still _plan on traveling with you as your personal makeup chick," she said.

"Hell, you're gonna get famous before I do. Isn't this Unique like a big star in the drag world?" He asked.

"Yeah, well – she's up and coming. She has a gig where she's going to be a judge for one of those reality drag shows… if I impress her the entire time that I'm working for her out here, she's taking me with her and utilizing me instead of whoever they have on set! I may even be able to be acknowledged in the credits!" Mercedes cheered, unable to control her excitement.

"Oh, goddamn! I have to sit down. Mercedes, that is so fuckin' awesome!" He sighed and asked, "So… how long before you know whether or not you'll be ditching me in good old Lima?"

"A few months, at least," she answered, "And it won't be like a permanent thing. She'll do so many episodes in such a period of time, then I think we get back home. But if she gets bigger and goes on to do greater things and decides to take me with her… God, Sammy-Boy, that could make my life mean something!"

Mercedes noticed that she had tears falling from her eyes when she heard Sam's voice, low and comforting offer to her, "Don't cry, Jonesy. I know that there are good things in your future and you deserve every last one of them."

"How the hell did you even know that I was crying?" She asked.

"I know how your cryin' breaths sound," he said, simply. There was a pause, and then he said, "Well, I'll be home around 7:30 or so, bearing desert and wine."

"Don't you come up in here with any cheesecake!" She warned. He laughed and they talked for a few more moments before she said, "Listen… I came across a can of tomato soup and a bag of goldfish crackers." She waited for his response.

"Oh… yeah, Quinn left it, in case she got stuck at the house or something, because according to her, nothing that we keep in the house is actually edible," Sam said. He didn't add that Quinn had made the comment _That's probably why your clown roommate is so fat. _That had definitely threw some shit into the fan. Sam told her that Mercedes was not a clown and that her size was not grounds for insults… Then, he may or may not have called her a fucktwat… He didn't even know what a fucktwat was, but it was totally disrespectful and even though she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, she was sensible enough not to tolerate someone talking to her like that. He brushed it off. That was never going to work, anyway. But, she would have been a great distraction.

"You don't plan on bringing her to dinner, do you?" Mercedes asked.

"No. She wouldn't even eat what you made," he said. He decided not to announce that it was maybe already over with Quinn – just in case she could be smooth talked into forgiving his harsh words and accept his apology.

"I think that I wanna invite Blaine and Kurt. Would you mind?" She wondered.

"No, Sweetcakes. This is _your _celebration, remember?"

Blaine and Kurt were seated at the table when Sam came inside, holding a cake and a bottle. "Tahdah!" He cheered. Mercedes looked at him and saw the red velvet cake from her FAVORITE bakery in town and hoped with all hope that he'd gotten it made especially her way. "Red velvet cake with whipped cream cheese icing, topped with sliced almonds and toffee bits and what's inside?"

"Toffee buttercream?" She asked with an anxious smile.

"Toffee buttercream," he answered. She retrieved the cake from him and set it on the counter then gave him a huge hug. He looked confused, but returned it. He and she were best friends, but they didn't do too much of the whole hugging thing… which had only just occurred to him. Weird. They saw each other half naked, fully naked, carried each other on their backs when they were too drunk to walk alone, sometimes cuddled on the couch with a movie, if she was extra depressed or he might lay on her lap and fall asleep when he was sick or sad – but they didn't do goodbye or hello hugs or kisses. They didn't do good luck or congratulations affections, either.

"That is so romantic that he knows your cake order," Kurt mused, awestruck by the love in front of him.

Mercedes laughed and rolled her eyes, letting go of Sam and pulling out a chair for him, next to hers. "It's not even like that, Kurt. Sam and I have been best friends for the past six years and lived together for four of them," she said and took a seat.

"That doesn't mean that it's not like that," Kurt commented.

Blaine added, "Yeah, that even implies that it's probably _exactly _ like that."

Mercedes did not comment further as everyone began preparing themselves plates of her home-cooked meal of grilled steaks, shrimp scampi and dark green salad. Sam looked at everything – she'd gone shopping for this stuff. None of that was in the house and she should've let him pay for it, because this was her celebration… He looked up from pouring some of her fresh mango salsa on his salad and the others were staring at him. "I'm sorry, I think that I missed something," he told them.

Jonesy smiled tightly and said, "Kurt was asking how things are going with Quinn."

"Oh… fine," he said. "I mean, we're only friends," he said and shrugged his shoulders. He looked at Jonesy and she used some tongue to put some cherries on her plate, next to her salad. Kurt was smelling everything before deciding if he wanted to add it to his plate, much to Blaine's embarrassment.

"Well," Blaine told Sam, "I wouldn't expect anything to happen between you and Quinn with the amount of obvious emotion between you and Jonesy." Sam and Mercedes glanced at each other, but neither of them made the effort to deny anything this time. Instead, Sam lifted an eyebrow and reached for his knife and fork. When Blaine, Kurt and Mercedes began to talk about all kinds of stuff that Sam didn't know a thing about or too much care to, he absentmindedly began to text Quinn to see if she was still mad at him. She seemed over it and they soon got into a pretty fluid text chat.

After dinner, Kurt and Blaine joined Mercedes on the couch and they continued having drinks, though they were nearly out of the wine. Sam offered to get more. He wanted Jonesy to enjoy her night of celebration, after all. He stepped outside and Kurt snickered and teased, "You two are totally in love!"

"Shhh, he's just outside the door. That's not true, anyway!" She hissed at her new friend.

Blaine nodded and said, "I can believe it. I don't think these kids are in love at all." Mercedes opened her mouth to thank Blain for seeing her side, but he squelched the words in her throat when he completed the thought, "I think you crazy kids are butt-crazy obsessed with each other." He and Kurt began laughing and did a cute little secret handshake type thing. Mercedes pouted her mouth and folded her arms. Blaine gave her a playful shove and said, "Oh, come on – admit it. You are nuts over him. I saw the way that you looked when Kurt asked him about Quinnie-Poo."

"That's because as his best friend and roommate I have to be subjected to that stupid on a stick if he gets close to her," she said. "That bitch thought I was a clown." Kurt and Blaine started laughing and she slurred, "Naw, no! Fa real. That bitch thought I was a balloon twisting, flower shooting water in the face, get out a tiny ass car and entertain the hell out of kids clown!" Now, they fell over on each other with laughter. Mercedes chuckled a little herself. "How would you feel if your best friend brought home some shit like that? Upset with snakes for eating mice…"

"Jonesy, honey – I am thoroughly convinced that you are drunk as hell," Kurt commented, not answering the question. His best friend was his lover so…

"Sam has those abs and those lips and he's got this body roll that he does. It makes my everything shiver or quiver or some other 'iver' word that means that it's not a pretty picture and the most glorious sight, all at the same time."

"I'm pretty sure the attraction is mutual," Blaine said.

"You don't understand," she said. "I have sworn off of men for a year, trying to get myself squared away. I have done some crazy things and with my last ex, everything got so out of hand until I felt like I'll be better off not even _looking _at a guy, right now. But, it's so damned hard not to look at Sam."

"If Blaine and I could take Sam home and put him inside of and us sandwich…" Kurt let the statement go incomplete.

Mercedes shook her hands and said, "No, no, no… Don't even put the image of an all man Blaine/Kurt/Sam-mich in my damned head… oh damn – it's there. Goddamn!" She jumped up and rushed out of the room.

"Where the hell is that drunk woman going?" Kurt asked Blaine.

"I think she's gonna rub one out," Blaine said.

"Why are you so obsessed with masturbation?" Kurt asked.

"No, really…" Blaine said.

Sam came in with a couple of bottles of wine and asked the guys, "Where's Jonesy?"

"She rushed out about ten minutes ago, after we were taking about a gay man sandwich," Kurt said with a shrug. Sam sighed and handed him the bag, then went to check on his friend.

She sat on the floor, in her bathroom and looked at him when he came inside. "I feel like I should have given up something more practical like my car… or maybe food,'" she told him. He sat next to her on the floor as she went on, "This shit is so hard, Sam. I didn't even quit cold turkey. I still give it to my pillow like nobody's business and the personal massager is a brilliant instrument. But, Kurt and Blaine were talking about man on man hardbodies and I turned into Christian Ricci from Black Snake Moan."

"I think about you every time I see that movie," he said.

"Compliment fail," she commented.

"Wasn't meant to be a compliment. It's simply a true statement. But, if you need a compliment, I've got one in my pocket for you, Little Girl. You've been sworn off of men now for almost a month and in that time period, you've been focused and determined and you're doing a great job of restraining yourself and keeping true to the promise that you made yourself. I respect the hell out of what you're doing and even more because you _are _actually doing it and it isn't something that you're all talk about. You're literally the sexiest person that I know, just for staying true to yourself all the time…" Jonesy's lips were pressed against his, her tongue painted a thin layer of saliva on the plump canvass that was his hungry mouth.

They sat where they were, kissing, sucking and biting on each other's lips and tongues before she pulled away from him and got up. She snatched him up with all of her strength, pushed him past her bedroom, out of her bedroom and back into the living room with their guests. Kurt and Blaine both applauded their return and Mercedes laughed at the two of them. Sam stood up in front of her, his eyes questioning her. _Was she really going to pretend that their kiss didn't just happen? _She looked away from him, sadly and asked, "Where's the wine?" Blaine handed her a bottle and she opened it and drunk straight from the source.

Sam pulled out his phone and began to text, as he headed for the front door. Mercedes called out, "Sam," and he turned, frustrated, but always willing to listen to her. "Thank you for tonight," she said. He opened his mouth to reply and from the look in his eyes, he was ready to erupt. _Thank you? _He was IN LOVE with her. It broke his heart not to be able to be with her and she kisses the shit out of him, stops it, rushes into a "safe" area and had the fucking gall to thank him?

"Don't fucking wait up for me, Jones," he snapped and stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him. Mercedes got up and ran after him, calling his name. "No, Jonesy, no! I'm not going to let you do this to me, anymore!" He spun around to face the little barefoot woman running up to his truck and he softened a little at the sight of her. "You know that I'm in love with you," he said, shaking his head, trying not to let his angry tears peek out of his eyes. "I _know _that you know it! So, why do I have to be treated like some sentimental artifact from your past that you keep in a fucking display and dust off to admire every once in a while? I'm not a fucking object, Jonesy. I have feelings!"

"I know, Sam. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to use you or hurt you. You are the best person that I've ever known and I have feelings, too. Feelings that have a hell of a lot to do with you…" She shook her head and said, "But, I couldn't tell you if the things are actually genuine or if I think that I want you because my body is starving for the attention… and I wouldn't be able to stomach myself if I let you be some kind of test or some kind of excuse for me to stop trying to be a more clearheaded person, free from the addiction that I have…" Sam could no longer help it. A tear snuck from his left eye and he blinked it away and opened his truck door. "Sam…"

"I understand," he told her. "Enjoy the rest of your night." He slammed the door and burnt off down the road. Mercedes sat down, right in the driveway and started crying. Kurt and Blaine had been watching from the porch and now went to collect her from the ground and bring her inside.

"I thought that I was doing him a favor," she said.

"Oh, Honey – don't worry about this right now. Tomorrow, you'll be sober and have a chance to think and be much better at deciding what you need to do to right this."

"It's too late," she complained.

"Shut up,'" Kurt said and gave her a hug. "It's never too late for true love."


	4. Chapter 4

_Oh, the lack of communication! It's a very poisonous thing. Excuse all of the language. I know, I know – it's a rated M story, but I really don't cuss in everyday life, so I have this need to apologize whenever I use bad language, even if it's in a story. Don't judge me. Lol._

**Don't Make Me Over 4**

She had not been able to sleep. Even though she had a lot to drink, it sort of wore off, before Blaine and Kurt even left for the night. By the time that they did, she was lonely and worried. He told her not to wait up, but that didn't help her to not be fearful of where he might be and what he might be doing… who he might be with. She texted: **Hey, I know that you told me not to wait up, but I hate what happened earlier, I can't sleep and I'm worried. So, please, if you'd at least let me know that you're okay? **She turned on the television, unimpressed by the selections of stuff to watch – not that she would be able to focus on anything, anyway.

Eventually, she stopped flipping through channels and settled for some black and white movie _Eyes Without a Face_ on the classics channel, or whatever. She'd seen it before and remembered thinking it was a decent movie. She checked her phone, several times. Then, she went into panicked psycho mode and began texting other people, wondering if they had seen or heard from him. He might end up pissed off about her behavior, but she wasn't going to be able to calm herself until she had a visual or trustworthy report of his safety.

Of all of the people to respond to her, Finn did: **Dolphin, is everything alright? Why wouldn't Sam be okay? What happened? **Leave it to Finn to answer her simple question of if he had seen or heard from Sam tonight because she was worried and wanted to see if he was alright with nothing but a list of his own questions.

**You know where he is, or not? And STOP calling me Dolphin! Shit! **There was quite a bit of time before Finn finally replied to her. She watched the screen of her phone the entire wait and her heart was in her throat by the time she read his response.

**You don't have to be so damned rude to people. That's probably why he's hiding out from you. Let me guess? Fucked him again? **

She jerked her head back and replied: **FUCK YOUUUU! **She opened her phone and tried to call Sam, but he didn't answer. When she connected to his voicemail, she said, "Hey – look, I understand that you're upset with me, or whatever, but this is some childish shit and you should at least let me know that you're alright, because, I think that it's pretty obvious that I'm worried about you. Please call me back!" She hung up and a few short minutes later, her phone rang with Sam's ringtone. "Sam!" She answered the phone.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you calling and texting me like you're out of your damned mind?" He asked.

"I was worried. Where are you?" She asked.

He sighed and said, "I'm with the band. We're jamming. What's up?"

"I was trying to figure out if you were okay. I've been trying to contact you for hours," she said.

"Yeah – the whole not waiting up kind of implied not calling tonight too. My phone's been sitting on a table almost the entire time that I've been here. We took a break and I see all these missed calls and texts…"

"Like I said, I was worried," she said through her teeth, then softened up to say, "Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I just wanted to check on you, because I'm a bit clearer headed, now."

"Everything's fine," he said.

"Wait, so is Finn jamming with you guys?" She asked.

"Sort of. He's here, but he keeps texting. It's not a practice, so nobody too much cares," Sam said.

"That ass," Mercedes said under her breath, then told Sam, "He had the chance to tell me that you were fine, but he instead uses his big clumsy ass thumbs to rub in my face… Nevermind. He's been shit-listed… So… Are you coming home tonight?"

"I planned on it," Sam said. He was still being short with her, she noticed, but she wasn't going to attack him for it. He sighed and asked, "What were you going to say about Finn?"

"He sent me this bullshit text about me and you"fucking again," and firstly, I don't know where he got that idea, but that isn't any of his business, you know?"

Sam let out an aggravated groan and looked at Finn, who was laughing and talking to Tina, causally, only a few feet away. "I'll deal with him. He won't bother you anymore… but you have to leave him alone, too. When you text him or call or even say hello to him, you kind of give him the idea that you want to be bothered with him," Sam said. "Don't send out mixed messages to people."

She had a feeling that he was not talking about Finn, so she offered, "I'll be sure to try to keep that bad habit in check."

"That's all I ask," he said, sadly. "I'll talk to Finn, and I'll see you tomorrow or later, if you're still up."

"I'm up watching _Eyes Without a Face_ on the classics channel. This mask is creepy as hell. I think that I'm going to be seeing it all over the place."

"You are such a flake. Why do you watch scary movies alone?" He asked, amused.

"I don't even think this shit is supposed to be scary, but the way that this chick looks in this plain mask is just creepy. It reminds me of those weird things that your mom collects and hangs on her wall," she said, picking at her toes. "Can I come hang out with you guys?"

"Finn is here, though," he said.

"I don't care, Man. This plain white face is haunting the hell out of me," she said.

"You've been drinking. You oughtta not be driving," Sam said.

Mercedes paused for a moment to think, then asked, "Is Quinn there with you?"

"Why would that affect anything?" He asked, instead of answering the question.

"I guess it doesn't. I'll see you guys in a little while," Mercedes said and hung up. She looked at her phone and saw that Finn had been texting her.

**You already did that, Dolphin, but I've never been adverse to leftovers…**

**And, why is it that you only have anything to say to me when Sam is concerned? I thought that you two were supposed to be "just friends." I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, as you fuck anybody that crosses your path and only put the friend label on the ones that you continue to keep talking to…**

**The thought of you not having sex for a year is the biggest laugh that I've ever had in my life…**

She opened her phone and called him, instead of playing text wars. She probably shuld have left it alone, but – to hell with it. Fuck Finn and his slut-shaming.

Sam walked up to Finn and Tina and announced, "Jonesy's gonna stop by, so… I might be leaving, soon. If she asks, just tell her that Quinn was ready to leave, so we took off."

Tina rolled her eyes and said, "For the record, as the person who introduced the two of you, I do feel a small portion of responsibility for the shit that you two do to each other, but I don't feel responsible enough to play middle school middleman. Tag Finn, you're it. I'm outta this shit." Tina stepped back and walked off, shaking her head.

Finn shrugged and said, "I'll tell her."

Sam gave him a small smile, and said, "Actually, Finn… I kinda wanted to talk to you about something. You really need to get over the little fling that you and Jonesy had. I mean, I never thought that it was cute, in the first place, but your jealousy and nasty comments to her are out of line and you need to chill."

Finn stared at him for a moment, then asked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean you don't have the right to make comments about what may or may not have happened between her and me. That's not none of your business and it's tacky and classless," Sam said, aggravated.

"But, the stuff that happens between you two isn't?" Finn retorted, offended.

"That's just it, though, Finn… The stuff between me and her is between me and her," Sam said.

"Well, maybe you should listen to your own fucking words. The stuff between ME and her is between me and her, too."

Sam's voice got louder as he replied, "Yeah, but when me and her have some kind of issue – trust me, neither of us are bringing your big Lurch, dead fuck ass into the situation!"

"Dead fuck? Oh, is that what she said? Because that wasn't what she was saying when she was begging me to come over and keep her company the last time we had sex," Finn said.

Sam opened his mouth, about to rage, but then something else distracted him, "What do you mean _the last time?" _he asked, tapping his foot nervously.

Finn laughed and shook his head, "I mean that the only time that you know about is _not _the only time that we've had sex." Finn smiled a little, then looked at his phone. He was getting an incoming call.

Sam said, "Look, just leave her alone, alright? Whatever y'all had is passed now."

Finn turned his phone to show Sam the photo of the caller – it was Jonesy. And the photo that Finn had on his phone for her was one of her in bed, with her eyes kind of sleepy, and dark purple hair… hair that she hadn't worn in months. Finn shrugged his shoulders and repeated, "You should just stay out of the stuff between me and her," then he answered, "Hey, Dolphin," and walked away from a flustered Sam.

Sam stormed over to Quinn and asked, "You ready to go?" Quinn paused, mid laughter, and glanced at Puck and Artie, with a confused look. "I mean, if you aren't, you can stay. I'm sure somebody'll give you a ride, but I'm leaving, now."

Puck asked, "Everything alright, Man?"

Sam shut his eyes tightly, blocking out the sound of Finn laughing on the phone with Jonesy. How could she not tell him about that? And to let him go over there, knowing…? Sam answered, "I'm checking out, before Jonesy gets here." He opened his eyes and shrugged, "I don't even give a damn what y'all tell her. I just don't wanna see her or talk to her, plain and simple, and I'm going."

Puck and Artie exchanged looks and Puck answered, "Okay…"

"Oh, and we're gonna need you to play drums for us until we can find a steady. Finn's out," Sam said, waving a hand at Finn, on the phone. He didn't notice how upset Finn looked as he left the room, with his voice getting a bit harsher on the phone.

Artie held out his hands and said, "Wait, wait… Sam. Just calm down. What's going on? Why is Finn out, now?"

Sam roared, "Fuck Finn! That's why! Fuck him and Jonesy and why is this even a discussion? We've been threatening to put Finn out for months."

"Yeah, but we haven't been doing it," Artie said.

Sam shrugged and said, "Now we are and I have to go. We'll talk another time." He pointed at Quinn and asked, "Are you coming or no?"

She stepped behind Puck and whispered, "I've never seen him like this and he's scaring me."

Puck answered for her, "She's not coming."

"K. Good night," Sam said and pulled out his phone to call Santana. He needed a place to crash tonight and she was always his secret getaway place, because people didn't really realize that the two of them were friends, since they frequently argued and she always made fun of him. "Hey, Tana… I need your couch, if it's alright?"

"Well, well… what did she do to you, this time?" She asked, groggily.

He felt bad that he was obviously waking her up. But he did promise her one thing, "I can tell you all about it, but also I assure you, it won't happen again. I'm through with this, Tana. I'm through with her."

"Damn, Trouty… did she fuck your best friend?" She asked.

"A while back, but I overlooked that. In fact, I'm relatively sure that she's been with all of my friends, and that didn't even matter, because she and I were never in a relationship and she's a free woman… but she lied to me about something. She lied to me and I just made myself look like a big idiot, because I reacted based upon a lie." He got into his truck and saw Finn walking around Tina's yard, still on the phone, but now, it looked like he was arguing with someone. He wondered if he was still on the phone with Mercedes, then pushed the curiosity from his mind. _Fuck her. _He started his truck, but took a moment to allow the air to circulate, plus – his head was spinning.

When he saw Finn jump into his car and speed away, though… He thought that this was probably not a good sign. Sam began driving, too. His phone rang and he glanced at it. Of course it was Jonesy and he ignored it, reiterating _fuck her, _in his mind.

It wasn't like she'd owed him the truth, or anything. So, she obviously had a longer fling than a one night stand with Finn, she obviously cheated on Anthony with him for a period of time, and it obviously meant more to Finn than it did to her, _but_ it was important enough to her to make Sam think that Finn was behaving the way that he was over a one time mistake. That reflected poorly on Finn and finding out reflected poorly on her. She had no reason to lie to him! It was the principle of this thing. What else had she lied about?

Sam pulled into the parking lot of Santana's apartment and went to the door. She was seated outside, smoking a cigarette and waiting on him. "Britt's pissed that you're coming over at this time of night. She has a cat show that Lord Tubbington is a guest performer in and she's livid that you, of all people, interrupted his beauty rest."

"Why does it have to be me 'of all people'?" Sam asked.

"Because you're one of my exes," Santana said. "The only person that it'd probably upset her more if he came over at this time of night is Puck… or Finn."

"Ugh, don't even say his name to me," Sam said.

"Well, I'll be damned. Did Jonesy spread the jelly for Moobsie Munster?" Santana asked, amused. "I knew that he wasn't sweating her so hard for nothing."

"It wasn't even that. It's that she told me that they did this one time, before she cut off men. She said that he was convenient and she needed to get one last man out of her system before the battle against her vagina began," Sam said.

"You know, I hate to interrupt, because you sound like this really is a bad night for you, but when you say that she's off of "men," does that mean sex, period, or literally "men," because Brittany and I need this information… for reasons," Santana said.

"She said men. You may need to call her to clarify," Sam said and rolled his eyes.

"Thank you, I shall. Proceed," Santana said and flicked some ash off of her cigarette.

"She'd had something going on with him, at least since she had that purple hair," Sam said. Santana sighed and blinked her eyes and Sam could tell that she thought he was being ridiculous and immature. He said, "Why would she lie about it, though? If it didn't mean anything? Why wouldn't she tell me? We talk about everything, or at least, I thought that we did."

"God, Sam! This is so tiring. You two don't talk about _anything. _How many conversations have you and I had on this staircase about how you feel and how she doesn't feel? Now, take that and compare it to the number of conversations that you've had with her on the same material. You guys are like an endless episode of a crossover of _My So Called Life_ and _One Life to Live_… all the angst and melowdrama made for a teenager, but tailored to fit adults – it's beyond disgusting…"

Brittany opened the door and peeked out at them. "Are you two going to be out here talking all night, because Lord Tubbington can't sleep when people loiter outside of this door. He can feel their presence and it gives him gas."

"We're coming inside," Santana said and put out her cigarette.

Brittany asked, "Are you going to be talking all night? Because he has to do pose exercises in his sleep and I worry that voices might distract him."

Sam said, "No, I'm just gonna go, Britt. I'm sorry to ruin Lord Tubbington's beauty rest. Wish him good luck for me on the thing."

Brittany smiled and nodded, "Thank you, Sam. He'll appreciate that." She reached her hand out to Santana and the woman joined fingers with her and they went inside.

Sam drove around a while, until he grew sleepy and guessed that he could go ahead and head home. This would be awkward, but maybe, he could just breeze past her, telling her that he didn't want to get into it and just face her tomorrow, when he was cooler about everything. He looked at the time on his phone. It was 3:47 am. He didn't have to be to work until the afternoon, so he still had enough time for sleeping. Hopefully, she had to work at the photo center early and would have finally took her ass to bed. She did still have two weeks to work at that place before she began her job for Unique.

When he pulled up to the house, Finn's car was there and he frowned. If this wasn't some bullshit. Sam got up to the porch and caught a bad feeling at the state of things. The door looked messed up and he went to check it. It looked like it had been kicked the hell in… Sam rushed into the house and saw the broken wine bottle and several other things, strewn about on the floor. The classics channel was still on the television as he reached for the metal bat that Mercedes had behind the door and slowly went into her room. He saw drops of blood leading in there and his heart was panicked. When he opened the door, she jumped up out of her bed and covered herself with her blanket. "Where's Finn?" He asked.

"In jail," she told him. They both were silent, for a moment, then she let the covers fall. She was fully dressed and he was unsure of why she had pulled the covers over herself, anyway. She had a swollen jaw and a busted lip. "He attacked me," she said. "I called the cops when he was kicking the damned door down, but they didn't get here until quite a bit later. I swear, I don't even know why I called them. I probably woulda did better calling David and Azimio to get in that ass."

Sam dropped the bat and sat down on the bed, which caused her to pull her feet to herself. "How bad did he hurt you?"

"It doesn't matter. I lived and I'll live." She shrugged and asked, "You enjoy your night?"

"We need to talk about this – about all of it," Sam said.

"Yeah, we do. But, not right now. I'm a little beat up. Bah dum tish!" She laughed a little, then fought off the urge to cry. She didn't want to feel weak and she didn't want to seem needy. "That was a terrible joke," she said.

"Yeah, but I realized that you made it to try to lighten the mood of what's happened tonight," Sam said.

"Sam – you were pissed at me. I don't want you to just change how you feel because I have a few bruises."

"How long did it take the police to get here?" Sam asked.

"I don't want to get into that. I just want to go to sleep. I have to be at work at 9, and I want to look as different from the way I do right now as possible," she said and punched him out of her bed with her feet.

Sam got up and told her, "I'll let you have your privacy." When he left the room, it was decided. He was going to beat the living shit out of Finn, as soon as he saw him.


	5. Chapter 5

_**WARNING: Triggers include sexual and physical assault**_

_Why do I keep doing this to y'all? I don't know. I'm sorry in advance to anyone who is going to read the chapter._

**Don't Make Me Over 5**

Sam was making her extremely uncomfortable. The thing was that she didn't really feel like telling him that she didn't want to be bothered, because she was kind of glad that he didn't seem to be upset with her, anymore… But having him lurking around the entire time that she was getting ready for work was a problem. Yet, she carted most of her items into the bathroom and got washed up and dressed in private, while he hung out on her bed. Mercedes got undressed and stepped into the shower, replaying all of this mess in her head…

_ Finn answered the phone, "Hey Dolphin!" That burned her up more than the fact that the asshole had been sending her these stupid texts for the past few minutes! For him to act like that, then to just brush it off like everything was gravy betwixt the two?_

"_You know what, Finn? I thought that we were better than this, but you obviously don't give a shit about my feelings nor my boundaries. You promised me that you wouldn't make a big deal out of things and that I could leave you alone with a clean break!" She fussed._

_Finn chuckled and said, "Well, you're the one who called me, Dolphin. I'm not exactly sure what it is that you want me to do for you?"_

"_How about you leave me the fuck alone, from now on, Dude? I won't contact you and you don't contact me. Sound about fair? Sound like something you can do for me?" She asked. _

_Finn began to rush outside as he argued with her, "I'm not the one who pounced on you, in the first place, that was your doing, Dolphin! When you needed a friend and a lover, you came straight to me; but then this whole Sam shit started and you act like you never even knew I existed. I think that I've been pretty cool about everything that you've put me through for the past few years and you can't put up with how I'm trying to handle what's been going on for the past few months?"_

"_What have I put you through, Finn?"_

"_You told me that you loved me, then you went on to just use me when you were in a pinch and discard me when you were through with me!" He practically yelled._

"_I did love you. You were my closest friend, but you wanted me to love you in another way and I couldn't do that, Finn. I have been honest with you, since then. I have to you implicity what the deal is and you KNEW that this was coming to an end and that I didn't want to drag out any of your old emotions. Now, you wanna act like a bitch and say stuff just to try to shake me the hell up?"_

"_I haven't said anything to you that isn't true, Dolphin."_

"_STOP CALLING ME THAT!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. _

"_Look, I'm coming over. This isn't us. We need to talk this shit out," he said._

"_No. I repeat, no. You need to leave me alone and I don't even know why I'm still on this phone. Goodbye, Finn. You have a great life."_

"_Don't you hang up on me, Mercedes!" He warned. At least he hadn't called her Dolphin._

"_Or you'll do what? Come over and fuck me into submission?" She taunted. _

"_You would love that, wouldn't you?" Finn asked._

"_Fuck you, Finn. You better leave me the hell alone," she said and hung up on him._

_ It didn't take long for Finn to get there. She knew that asshole would come over. She shouldn't have took that cheap shot about fucking into submission… but, Jonesy was not always one for the greatest tact – especially when pissed off. In fact, when pissed off, she strongly relied on cutting as deeply as possible with her words. She heard banging on the door and went to it, "Who the hell is at my door at this time of night?" She asked._

"_You _know _that it's me. Let me in," Finn said, as calmly as he could._

"_I know that I told you to stay out of my life, so you better take your busted ass away from this door, or I'm calling the cops!" She yelled._

"_Oh, please, Dolphin. You know that the cops take anywhere from thirty to forty five minutes to get to this neighborhood, on their _good _nights. Now. Open. The. FUCKING DOOR!" He began to pound and kick on the thing and Mercedes rushed into her bedroom to snatch up her phone and call the police. While she was still on the phone, she heard a loud slam noise. This man had gotten inside! _

_ Mercedes grabbed the wine bottle from her nightstand and went towards Finn, clutching her phone in one hand and the neck of the bottle in the other. Finn stood there, looking scarier than she ever thought that he even could, breathing hard and staring at her like a wild animal. "Mercedes," he said and started towards her, but the moment that sucker was within her reach, she cracked that bottle upside his head. "Damn it!" Finn hissed when it connected. Since it didn't break, Jonesy took another swing. If she could knock his ass out, this would be a much better story than what it looked like it would become. With that second swing, the bottle shattered and she swung the jagged end at him, trying to cut him. Finn slapped it out of her hand and yelled at her, "You would actually try to cut me?"_

_ She was not really up for a Q&A, for the moment as she tried to get away from him, but he snatched her by her arm. Mercedes grabbed the first thing she got her hands on – a lamp and busted that against the back of his shoulders. She was aiming for his head, but the struggle was real. "Stop hitting me with shit!" He roared and shoved her over the couch. Mercedes rolled over and hit her face on the table. "Oh, shit… I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to…" She wasn't about that. She grabbed one of garden statues that she kept inside and threw that at him, now. The angel became one-winged when Finn ducked and it hit the wall behind him. "Oh, fuck you, Dolphin!" Finn said and charged at her, tackling her to the floor. Mercedes fought with him and kicked at him, until he slapped her in the face. She froze, with widened eyes. She was virtually powerless against him and that slap in the face helped her to realize that… I can't fight him._

_ Finn stood up and snatched her up by her collar, "What is it that makes you WANT to make me lose my mind?" He asked and threw her the other way over the couch. Mercedes began to crawl to her bedroom. Maybe she couldn't fight him, but she might be able to outrun him and to get herself locked into the bedroom, then the bathroom. Maybe get out of a window… maybe those doors could hold him until the damned pretty much WORTHLESS police made it. Mercedes reached the bedroom and slammed the door, but as she tried to lock it, Finn kicked it open and knocked her down. Mercedes tried to crawl towards the bathroom, but he grabbed her by the back of the neck and threw her on the bed. He shut the bedroom door behind him and locked it. If she made a run for it, she'd have a moment to get out. "Stop fighting me," he told her. "What'd you ask me about over the phone? Fucking you into submission?"_

"_Finn, please… calm the hell down," she said, evenly, her face bleeding and her heart beating entirely too fast._

"_Oh, now you want calm? I could have sworn that you wanted to piss me off by saying that to me," Finn said._

"_I know. I did, but yes – now I want calm," she told him._

"_After you threw everything in your living room at me," he noted._

"_You busted my door in like a fucking maniac…"_

"_YOUR TONE!" He screamed at her, which caused her to quickly shut up. After all, she couldn't fight him… well, she couldn't fight him and win. He sat on the bed and asked, "Do you remember when you first tried to get me into this fetish of yours and I was terribly uncomfortable with it and you insisted that it would be alright? You were in it, with me, so it was gonna be okay…" He flopped onto the bed and started crying, "You turned me into this person that I don't know how to handle, then you just dropped me. The worse part was that nobody knew about us, so who the hell was I going to talk to about it."_

"_Don't put your shit on me, Finn," she blurted out, which caused him to see red. Finn reached over and grabbed her and slammed her down against the bed. "Finn…"_

"_Shut up. Shut up and take it," he said. _

Mercedes started when she realized that the water had turned cold on her. Damn, she had hardly washed up. She got out of the shower and dried off. She looked into the mirror. Finn's handprints were on her wrists, on her neck, on her waist. She trembled and put her head down, with her hands outstretched on either side of the mirror. "That was the past. That was the past," she said, shaking her head. It was _different _when there were safety words and there was a partner that you could trust. What _Finn _did – that was NOT planned and not agreed upon. "I don't give a fuck. It's not the first time." She said and straightened up.

When Mercedes came out of the bathroom in a sleeveless turtleneck and armwarmers up to her elbows, Sam eyes her curiously. She gave him a smile and asked, "Any traces of the facial bruises?"

"Vaguely," he answered, sadly. He stepped closer to her and she flinched when his hand reached towards her face. "Sorry… I was just going to fix your hair to cover it, a little."

"No need," she told him and put on a pair of glasses. "This takes away from it, right?"

"Yeah," he said with his hand still suspended in the air. Mercedes swung out of the way of it and stiffly walked over to her mirror, fixing her own hair, appropriately. "Do you ever want to talk about it?" He asked.

"About what?" She asked, "About last night? It's not a big deal. He was tripping, we fought and he got his ass arrested," she said.

"It seems like there was more to it than that," Sam said. "Was there ever something between you two, before the whole last time you had sex thing?"

"Why? Would that excuse Finn flipping the hell out and throwing me over my own furniture in the middle of the night?" She asked, folding her arms, looking at him through the mirror.

"God, no! Wait, he _threw _you over the furniture?" Sam asked, clenching his fists and shaking his head. Mercedes didn't bother to respond as she picked up her cell phone to check the time and found a disheartening text message on her now cracked screen. **I am sorry for what happened between Finn and you, but we had to pick him up from jail and we're coming by to get his car later on. Please, don't be there when we arrive. Once again, I'm terribly sorry… Kurt. **She slammed the phone down and placed her hands on her hips, trying not to cry. "What is it?" Sam asked, rushing up to her. She slid her phone to him, unable to speak. "Wait, why the hell would Kurt pick Finn up from prison?"

"Their parents are dating and even thinking of getting married. That's how Finn got to know Rachel. Her and Kurt are best friends," she said, shaking her head and reaching for her phone to reply. She would be at work all day, but still.

"So, how does this work exactly? Didn't you press charges? Do they just let people out like this?" Sam asked.

"He'll be out on bail until his court date for the charges comes up," she said. "It doesn't matter, Sam." She threw her phone into her makeup bag and grabbed it, her purse, and her thermos of coffee. "I'll be at work, anyway and if he comes anywhere near me, he'll be right back in jail." She made her way to her car and looked at Finn's. She put her stuff away, then glanced around her. The nearest thing that she spotted was one of her stepping stones. She picked it up and flung that shit smooth through his window. "I hope you slice your ASSHOLE up when you sit down, motherfucker!" She screamed, then ran at his car and began to kick the side of it.

Sam came rushing out of the house, worried that Finn had arrived, but when he saw Mercedes kicking the door of the car, he simply stood on the porch and watched. Fuck Finn's car. Fuck Finn. She noticed Sam and she straightened her hair and adjusted her jeweled suspenders. Then, she waved, got into her car and took a deep breath.

"_I don't know how I feel about this, Mercedes. I mean, it's rape…" Finn said._

"_It isn't," she told him. "It's just a game. We have safe words and whenever it gets too extreme or tense or whatever, we say them and end the game…" She told him. "It's just, I like being fucked into submission. That feeling of helplessness and him being strong and overpowering. You've never wanted to fuck me into submission?" She asked, poking Finn in the lovehandles with her pinky._

"_Stop that," he told her and slapped her hand away._

"_Make me!" She said._

_He sighed and glanced at the sky, "What's the safety word?"_

_She thought for a moment, then looked around and saw a little figurine on her dresser, "Dolphin," she said with a shrug._

"_Dolphin?" He repeated, with a chuckle._

"_Male dolphins are horny little perverts that can use their penises like hands. They also will force female dolphins into sex, sometimes," she said, pulling Finn down onto the bed with her. _

"_That's creepy and I'm disturbed that you know that," Finn said, kissing her on the neck. "Can I ask you a question before we do this?" She simply looked at him, waiting. "Why did you ask me? I mean – I know that we've slept together before, but you have a lot of guys that you could've turned to, to explore this thing with. Why'd you ask me?"_

"_Because, I know that you care about me and that you wouldn't hurt me," she told him._

Mercedes started her car and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. Had she _really _turned Finn into a monster? He was so different now than that cute, doughy thing that she used to love friendly cuddles with when nobody was around. The one that she couldn't explain how they went from friends cozied up on the couch to snuggle-fucking to hardcore sex on the floor, and over the coffee table… to the secret fuck buddies that they were on and off, mostly off, until a few short weeks ago when they were pretty much on for about four months, during the end of her messed up relationship with Anthony.

"No. NO! That was not your fault. If you help a friend to one of your joints, it is not your fault if a short time later he's on crack. He had a choice," she said, as she drove. Thinking about all of this was depressing her. She turned on her XM and tried to drown out her thoughts with music.

Sam called in to work. If Finn was coming to get that car, he was going to be there, waiting for his ass. He couldn't tell what was going on inside of Jonesy, but she was more closed off from him than he could ever remember. She sometimes folded into herself when she had stuff going on, but this was different. She seemed to be shutting down. That attack against the car was something that he had not seen her do in a while – rage against something. He removed her stepping stone from the inside of the vehicle and went to sit on the couch. He was going to spend all damned day there, if he had to.

After a few hours, Sam got hungry and decided to go inside to get something to eat, but he wanted to make sure that he could catch Finn, so he opened the blinds in the living room and kept dashing to look out of them ever time he thought that he heard a sound outside. People texted him all day, asking him what was going on with Mercedes and Finn and how they were. **Finn broke our door down and attacked Jonesy, so he spent the night in jail. She says she's fine. **That was all that he could bring himself to reply. He avoided the slews of "OMG" and "That asshole." Puck sent him one that asked, **"Need helping fucking him up?" **Sam had to chuckle.

**No, I got this. Trust me.**

Sam heard a vehicle approach. This one was different than the other sounds. This one was close. He came out of the kitchen as he heard several car doors. When he stepped out onto the porch, Finn, Kurt and Blaine were getting out of Rachel's red convertible. Sam rushed towards Finn, but Kurt and Blaine jumped in front of him and Kurt begged, "Sam, please! We just want to get the car and be on our way and I promise you, you nor Mercedes will ever have to hear from Finn again!" Sam threw Kurt out of his way and Kurt crashed to the ground with a yelp. Blaine rushed to check on him and when Sam had that window, he rushed in on Finn.

Finn was bigger and maybe a bit stronger, but Sam was pissed. He had allowed the image of Mercedes' bruised face and her wincing from him, and the thought of Finn kicking the door in and throwing her over furniture simmer in his mind all day long. Kurt jumped up from the ground, trying to get back to Finn, though Blaine held him back. Rachel screamed at Kurt and Blaine, "Stop him! Do something!" But, Blaine didn't want Kurt going anywhere near the fight that was happening against the side of Finn's car.

Sam had made a damned punching bag of Finn's face, not giving two shits about the bandages he had from the bottle that Jonesy managed to strike him with before he pounded her. Finn tackled Sam to the ground and tried to restrain him. Sam was having none of Finn's shit, today. He would not be particially satisfied until he could beat the hell out of him for hurting Jonesy like that. Jonesy pissed Sam off, sometimes to the end of his damned rope, but he would _never _put his hands on her, and for Finn hit her, with the size difference between the two, plus the fact that they, whether it was once or not had been intimate with each other? It would just bring up all kinds of other issues for her in the future as it related to men and it was a bitch ass, heartless, spineless move. Sam head-butted that fool.

Finn growled and fell backwards. Sam grabbed him and slammed him against the car, this time. "You liked making her feel weak and vulnerable? You liked abusing her? Beating on her like she was nothing?" Sam asked, slamming his former friend repeatedly into the car.

"I kinda feel like a dick about that. But, I don't regret fucking her brains out and making her cry," Finn said, only loud enough for Sam to hear him. That was when Sam's vision went completely red. He shut his fist and rammed it into Finn's face as many times as he was allowed before Rachel's basic ass jumped between them and put her hands in front of her. Sam's fist came quickly, and he accidentally hit her in the mouth… but that was because she jumped in the middle, so quickly.

"Oh my God!" Blaine said.

Sam's green eyes widened and he tried to catch his breath. He reached out for Rachel and offered, "I'm sorry… You shouldn't have jumped in front of me."

Her busted lip was quivering as she checked on Finn, cupping his head, "Are you alright, Finn? Kurt, please help me to get him into his car. Will one of you drive for him? We have to take him to the hospital…"

"Fuck that. Goin' home," Finn said, as Kurt helped him into the passenger's seat. "did you see that, though? I just tried to get my car and that savage attacked me and tried to kill me. Then, he hit Rachel, too," Finn said.

"Shut up, Finn," Kurt told him and dropped him into the seat. Kurt rushed around the other side and warily passed by Sam.

"I don't have any quarrel with any of y'all. But, believe that this shit is not over, if he ever comes near either of us again… and on that day, so help me, God – I won't give a shit who tries to get in my way," Sam told him.

Rachel glared at him and stormed to her car, "Well, you will be hearing from my lawyer for your unwarranted attacks against me and Kurt!"

Kurt shook his head and told him, "No, you won't. I'm really sorry that this happened, Sam. But, Finn is about to be my brother. He's my family."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. But, I suggest in the future that you stay the hell out of the way," Sam told him. "Get him the fuck out of here, before I pull him out and stomp the hell out of him." Kurt climbed into the backseat of the car and Blaine put the rug from the floor pad in the driver's seat, to avoid the glass as he drove. Sam watched the car leave and he finally caught his breath. It hadn't been enough. He wished Finn was dead.

When Mercedes unlocked the door, she saw Sam on the couch and smelled flowers. "You fixed the door?" She asked.

"Yep. Took a day off, today," he said, casually. "Also, I cooked for you," he told her, with a shrug. He bit his lip and put both of his hands behind his back. "Also, Finn and I got into a fight when he came to get his car."

"Did you, now?" She asked and tossed her stuff on the couch. "What'd you cook?"

"You know me! Grilled some steaks, perfected some mac and cheese, and put my foot in some green breans," Sam said as they both entered the kitchen together. "Who told you?" He asked.

"Kurt," she said. "He wanted to make sure that there were no hard feelings between us because of what's going on between Finn and me. I told him that doesn't have shit to do with him. I don't attack entire groups of people because I have something against an individual." Mercedes reached for a plate and asked, "You tried your own stuff, yet?"

"Nope. I've been doing so many other things," Sam answered. "You like the flowers?" She looked at the kitchen table, with a luxurious, brilliant bouquet of purple, red, orange and yellow flowers on it. I also got matching scented candles for like every flower there." He pointed to a little tier plate candleholder that his mother had brought her a while back that had not seen a candle in months.

"What are you doing, Sam?" she asked. She didn't sound pleased. She sounded… _insulted_?

"I've had time to think today about us and about you and the things that we never talk about and the things that we need to talk about… but as much as I want to address a lot of that, after what happened last night, I know that right now isn't the time. But, that won't stop me from vowing that from now on, I have to be honest with myself and to be honest with you about everything. We're best friends, Jonesy, but we never talk about the most important stuff. I could've lost you last night. If anything ever happens and one of us don't make it, I don't want either of us to have to live wading in a river of regret." Her eyes were teary as he fetched something from the kitchen counter, "That's why I picked up some stuff for you to look through and hopefully, maybe, you'll let me help you through it, if you can. If not, there are places and people for these kinds of things."

With shaking hands, Sam handed Mercedes a handful of pamphlets and she aliped through them seeing key words like "abuse," "crisis," "STD," "pregnant," and "rape." "Oh, Dear Lord. Sam!" She flung the things onto the floor, but he quickly retrieved them. "Why would you hand me something like that?"

"Finn said something today. I didn't know if he was trying to wind me up or if he was being honest," he said, and when he returned to standing in front of her observed, "But, your face is confirming his hideous comment." He set the papers on the counter.

"What did he say?" She asked him.

"It's not something that should be repeated," Sam told her.

"No, you brought it up and now I need to know what he said," Mercedes insisted.

Sam sighed and admitted, in a low, shaky voice, "He said that he fucked you and made you cry." She sobbed. "I presumed from the way that he entered our home and the condition that I found you in, your face, you know, that it wasn't the good kind of fuck." Sam's words were dripping with bitterness. But, he swallowed it down and gently asked her, "Did you go to the hospital?"

"Nope," she said.

"Jonesy…"

"Don't. I don't even care what you're going to say, because this is my issue. You can't tell me how to feel about it or how I should handle it. I'm not taking myself through anything like what I know that you're trying to suggest." Sam shut up. He couldn't say anything else. He was furious, but he couldn't do anything, if she didn't want to fight Finn on this.

Mercedes fixed two plates of food and handed him one, with a small grin, "Thanks for dinner, and the flowers and candles," she said. Her eyes went to the pamphlets on the counter, though she didn't thank him for them. The two of them sat down and began to eat and talk, softly about possibly moving out of this house and maybe another part of town, etc.

_ By the time the police arrived, Finn rushed to unlock the bedroom door and Mercedes scrambled to try to put her clothes back in order. The officers who rushed into the bedroom looked at her, with her face bruised and tears streaming down her face, then at Finn. "Miss, are you the one who called?" The door had been kicked in and left wide open. The police had come inside after no one answered when they called out._

"_Yeah, it was quite some time ago. I'm damned near as safe as I'll get, now," she said, wiping her face. "He broke into my house and attacked me," she said._

"_Miss," the female officer said._

"_Jones." _

"_Miss Jones, we'll take you to the hospital for some testing, and…"_

"_No, thank you," Mercedes told the woman, forcing a smile._

"_Miss – if you don't file the necessary complaint. We can't do anything to help you," the officer explained to her._

"_Officer, I am a recovering sex addict who has a psychiatric record for rape fetishism. I'm black, I'm a little bit counter culture, if you haven't noticed and many people in this city don't find me very attractive. I wear slutty clothes. I flirt. I have fucked a lot of people. You couldn't do anything to help me if I did make a fool of myself and tried to press charges for that. He broke into my home, threw me across my living room, hit me in the face and choked me. I think that I'm satisfied with pressing whatever charges come along with that," Mercedes told her._

"_Alright. It's your choice. But, you don't have to be afraid. All of those things does not give anyone a pass to rape you," the officer said._

"_Funny that you think that, because the last time I tried to fight it, I was pretty much proven that the opposite is true in real life application," Mercedes told her. "What do I have to do to get you to shut up about that and to get the charges pressed that I actually want to press?"_

Mercedes plucked one of the flowers out of her bouquet and went to put it in Sam's short hair. "I'm drained. I'm going to go to bed. Thanks again."

"Don't mention it. I love you." He told her.

Mercedes smiled softly at him and left the room, inconspicuously grabbing the pamphlets from the counter, as she did.


	6. Chapter 6

_Just a heads up… Gonna be off of work for a few days in a row, so all reviews and PMs that I have not previously responded to, I will handle and all of those that come in during my time off, as well. I'll be updating stories, willy nilly. (Smiles)_

**Don't Make Me Over 6**

Unique squealed in delight and did a victory dance. Mercedes simply smirked, confidently and nodded her head at her own work. "See? This is why I know that having you around was the thing to do. Because you're good like that. This is not even supposed to look good together. But, I see what you did here. You incorporated my animalistic fierceness into the delicate and playfulness that is my femininity. I _love _what you did here."

Mercedes smiled and commented, "I love what _you _did with those flowery pretty and sugar sweet words! Because all I did was match up tiger stripes and ladybug design." Mercedes laughed at the annoyed face that Unique made for her backtalk. But, Jonesy had to pat herself on the back. The tiger stripes on Unique's cheeks, the ladybug polka dots on her eyelids and the shiny, glossy red on her lips, outlined in black was not _supposed _to look good. As someone – describe it to someone, they would tell you, _"That's crazy. That's tacky. That won't work," _but Mercedes not only went for it anyway, but aced that bitch with a KAPOW! At least that was something to smile about…

After not being able to deal with happy, smiling people at her photo center job, she resigned early, unable to even stomach the thought of doing makeup for people who were joyfully capturing memories for another two weeks. She took the two weeks off, before her gig with Unique and simply worked on making herself a "happy room."

She and Sam had a room that they generally used to store a bunch of miscellaneous stuff, which she simply moved everything out of, deciding on placing it all neatly in her bedroom – because she had no intention of spending extended time in her bedroom in the near future, anyway. It made a neat little barricade in front of her window and along the wall. When she had the room cleared out, she spent hours cleaning it up and listening to spoken word poetry online… not that she was a huge fan of it, but she was hit with some kind of mood to hear some and ran with that.

Once the room was clean, she fell asleep on the floor, near the window. Sam found her and tried to cart her to bed, but the moment he touched her, she woke up swinging. "I'm so sorry, Jonesy. I was just trying to put you in your bed… what are you doing in here?"

"I haven't been able to sleep much in that bed," she admitted, then pulled herself up, covered in filth and cleaners. "I'm not sure yet what I'm doing in here. I just kind of want a room to go to the get away from things and my bedroom can no longer be that room. Though maybe I'd paint, maybe buy some fun stuff to set up in here and call it my happy room." Normally, Sam would have laughed at her for saying something like that. It was something that she would have done on other occasions, but he would have laughed if he didn't feel so terrible about what he knew that she was going through while trying to create a happy room. "Sam, please don't treat me like this. I k now you want to laugh at my happy room idea."

"I would have, but I just can't," he told her.

"What color should I paint it? I guess that it depends on the theme that I'm going to go with. I went to the teachers' store earlier and saw these great big cute monsters. Maybe I'll go with that. I've always liked cuddly monsters… and robots," she said with a shrug.

"If monsters, maybe paint the room a dark color. I'm liking the thought of dark green or dark brown," Sam suggested. "Hell, you could paint it a dark purple."

"No. The bedroom is a dark purple. This room can't be like the bedroom," she said, shaking her head. "I think that I like the dark green. I can move all of my ladybug stuff in here and TIGGER!" She suddenly cheered and slapped his arm. "Oh, I still have a bunch of Tigger stuff from when I was younger. Much of it in those boxes that I moved out of here."

"Where is that stuff, by the way?" Sam asked.

"The bedroom," she said, but quickly changed the subject, "You gotta come with me to look into some paint. Doesn't Lowe's have a center or something?"

"Yeah, but so does Wal-Mart," Sam said.

"No, I wanna go to Lowe's. I may need some other things, too. I think I need to make myself a list…" She went off, and Sam sighed. Jonesy could be something else when she got off into these tangents, but at least she was keeping herself busy, not moping and not wallowing in despair. Then again, Sam didn't know if her refusal to really acknowledge what happened wasn't a bad thing.

He simply had no way to prepare for this type of ordeal… and he had himself to blame. He tried to apologize to her, but she insisted that it wasn't his fault. She wouldn't even let him finish when he tried to tell her that he saw Finn storm off and he knew that Finn had been on the phone with her, that he should have chased him down and run him off, that he shouldn't have even left her that night, in the first place… Sam found himself fighting off angry tears every time he thought of her being overpowered by Finn. God help him if he saw that motherfucker again.

So… Mercedes painted the room a dark green color, refusing to let Sam help her, because she needed something to focus her energy on and she didn't want him to hog all the focus stuff. She put a couple of synthetic plants in the place, dug out all of her old Tigger merchandise and moved it and much of her ladybug designed stuff into the room and filled it up with stuff that made her smile: an ultra fluffy carpet, dream catchers, a hula-hoop, a pinwheel, a kaleidoscope, bean bag chairs, her arts and crafts stuff, a bottle of bubbles, a fan with shiny tassels blowing in front of it, a hope chest large enough to fit a human being inside of, a pogo stick, a pair of stilts, some roller blades… Sam peeked into the room and asked, "Is this gonna be like Pee-Wee's Playhouse? Because if it is, "I have a list of words of the day that never made it," and they are pretty hilarious. We could find ways to put them into conversations."

"Shut up, Boy. This ain't no Pee-Wee's Playhouse… unless we can get Cyndi Lauper to sing me a theme song, then this can be whatever the hell you want, because there would be no more purpose to my life!" Jonesy said, with a smile, as she put her things into her chest.

"You've gotten a hell of a lot done in here! What time did you get off?" Sam wondered, glancing at his phone for the time. He looked up at Mercedes and saw her rest on her knees and set her butt on her feet as she sighed and bit her lip. "What happened?" Sam asked, worried, but trying not to sound it, so he wouldn't upset her. He was fearing the worse – she had some kind of breakdown and had to be escorted out, or tried to hurt somebody or…

"Work was kind of depressing, so I reneged on my two weeks' notice and resigned on the spot the other day," she said with a cute, reluctant look on her face. She was surprised when Sam sighed with relief. She continued, "I wanted to try to clear my head and get a bit of rest before I start up this thing with Capital THE Unique." She shrugged her shoulders and looked into her chest.

"That's a fantastic idea, Jonesy. You need and deserve a break," he said. She looked up at him and smiled, which made him smile right back, for a moment. She was smiling and her smile was gorgeous, as always... but those eyes, though. Her big brown liquid eyes still made him want to melt, but they were so sad, now. So distant and hurt and scared… and he felt guilty all over again for not only not checking on her that night when he saw Finn leave the jam session, but for not even answering phone when she tried to call him that night. His whine date with Santana had not been worth it. His long drive to settle his stupid fucking pride had not been worth it. He would withstand Hell to go back in time and make sure that she was okay – to protect her from what happened!

"Sammy-Boy, you okay?" She asked him with a worried look. _Oh shit. _Obviously, he was on the verge of angry tears, again.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something," he said. She turned away from him quickly and began to put more stuff into her chest, before getting up and avoiding his stare. _Oh great. _She knew exactly what he was thinking about and now he had made her uncomfortable. "What do you wanna eat tonight?" He asked, to try to make the tension in the room thinner.

"You haven't mentioned Quinn the past few days. What happened with that?" She wondered.

"We kind of fell out," he said, nonchalantly, not wanting to bring that up. He hadn't had the chance to tell her that he and Finn argued and that he had been told some things by Finn about she and Finn that pissed him off… he hadn't have the chance to tell her that it was Finn's words that made him so angry that he hadn't bothered to be the friend that she deserved and come to her, but instead went away to sulk and allowed her to get hurt that night.

"Fell out?" She said, feigning shock and preparing to decorate some of her stuff by wrapping it in saran wrap and covering it in either tiger print or ladybug spots designer tape.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up. What you wanna eat?" He said, trying to force himself to be as comfortable and casual as they had always been. It was difficult, though. For one thing, he had learned some things that he wished he could talk to her about, but now that Finn had done what he did, talking about Finn would never be an option. Hell, even if _she _was willing to, Sam couldn't even think about that bastard without tasting vomit in his throat, getting overheated and wanting to destroy everything in his path to get to him and send him to hell. This rage could not be healthy, even if rage was justifiable and in order in this situation.

"Pink cookies in a plastic bag," she joked. Sam stared at her and she shook her head, "Sorry. Random thoughts have been flying through my head all day," she laughed. "It was an L.L. song."

"Who the hell is L.L.?" He asked.

"Are you serious? L.L. Cool J!" She practically screamed.

"OH!" He gave her the girl stop look and asked, "You call that man L.L… like y'all are homies, or something?"

"I wish I could call that man Jamie-Bear and wake up cuddled up close to him, while you playing, Sam!" She said and put her hand on her hips.

"Dammit, Girl… If you don't just tell me what the hell you wanna eat!" Sam fussed, jokingly.

She laughed and shrugged, "I just want a huge bowl of hot spinach dip and some corn chips, to be honest and maybe a Seeing Green baked potato?"

"I am on it. I'll call it in and pick it up. You… have fun with that colorful ass tape," Sam teased and headed away.

"This tape is fabulous, Sam. Go sit on your balls!" She called out after him with a grin. But, once he was gone, she felt a little bit lonely, and extremely scared. Weird, when he was there, she felt like she was putting on a show, acting for him, all the while, extremely scared, but for different reasons. When he was there, she was afraid that he would stare too long or too hard and see every single dirty secret that she had fought for all this time to keep away from him. She was afraid that discussions would arise that she could not stomach having or that emotions would be brought up that she did not want to face in any way, shape or form.

When he was gone, she was afraid that without him there to watch her acting, she would crumble into a million pieces, then a gust of wind would blow her away, into oblivion… and he would miss her for a moment, but soon enough decided that he was better off having never even known her. Why the hell was she feeling so low? She shook her head, reached for one of her stuffed Tiggers, and gave him a squeeze. He began to sing, "The wonderful thing about Tiggers is Tiggers are wonderful things…"

"Oh. No. You. Didn't!" She heard Sam yell from another room. He came rushing inside, with a broad grin, ready to make fun of her, because she had already told him to carry on in the same and that shit was corny as hell for her grown ass to have a singing Tigger singing the damned Tigger song. But, when he came into the doorway, she had Tigger squeezed tightly in her hold and the little thing was laughing as it sung, but she was softly crying, and staring at it, though she didn't seem to even see it. "Jonesy…" Sam said, so sadly that it startled her. She looked up and saw him coming towards her, almost crying, himself. He stopped close enough to be near her, but more outside of her personal space than he ever forced himself to remain in the past. "You're going to make it through, I promise. I'm gonna be here for you. You don't have to shut me out. I'll do whatever it takes to help you to get better," he said.

She dropped Tigger on the floor and backed up, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry. I might be a little weird for a few days," she said.

"Don't apologize, please," Sam told her.

"I just had an idea!" She told him, cheerily, moving herself further away from him, "I am going to do some make up designs catered specifically for Unique. That'll give me a head start and something to do with all this energy." Just like that, she had changed the subject, brushed the issue under the rug and refused to address it again. Sam sighed and let her know that he was going to pick up the order. He tried to get her to come with him, but she insisted that she had a brilliant make up pattern/design and that she couldn't be bothered to stop, "Unless I'm staring at a big ass bowl of my spinach dip and a hot potato covered in spinach, jalapenos, chives, guacamole, green olives, and lime; add mozzarella," she recited her typical order, "Then this shit just can't be helped Sam. I have to capture it before my brain forgets that I had this idea!"

She spent the next couple of weeks working extremely hard to try to achieve tiger stripes with make up! That shit was not easy when trying to put it on a damned eyelid. "This is not going to work," she repeated to herself as she messed up another practice sketch faceHe H. "Maybe on the cheeks, like blush?" She wondered. "When I get better at these tiger stripes though, I bet I do some eyelids with 'em."

"You are one bad bitch, Jonesy," Unique told her. "One bad bitch. Look me in the eye, Girl," she told her and when Mercedes did so, Unique said, "I stan for your work. I'm not lying, Sugar. Somebody is getting _cut _if they try to take you from me, you hear me?" Mercedes' eyes blinked with tears. Though the voice was so much softer and much more sincere, she couldn't help but think about an aggressor. She couldn't help but hear these words said to her in some other situation and she took a deep breath, trying not to have the panic attack that was threatening to force its way into her heart. "Jonesy?" Unique said, concerned.

Mercedes laughed at herself and shook her head, "Forgive me, Unique. Girl! I was just a bit blown away by the fact that I have impressed Capital THE Unique!" She fanned herself with both hands and squeezed out the tears, passing them off as happy ones.

Unique raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, that's only natural, but you better not run any damned mascara, because I do _not _like to look at any hot mess while I get pretty." Unique turned up her nose, turned to face her mirror again and ordered, "So, clean up your face and get your shit together. I am dying to see what you've come up with for your metallic purple and zebra print patterns and when I get that aquamarine and cheetah print, I might marry your ass." Uniques waved Mercedes off again and turned to the mirror to begin washing her face. Mercedes heard her jump on the phone and say, "Guuurrrrlll… this child that Kurt Hummel gave me is the boss of this shit. You are going to wish you hadn't been so mean to Kurt at the after shows, because I just found the makeup that she is putting on me for the upcoming pageant and Babygurl, OH Babay! You are about to lose your shit. Her work will make your nuts fall off, just by looking at the fabulousness of it. You don't even have to have your surgery…" Unique joked.

Mercedes found her way into the bathroom and started at the sight of a big ass fabulous photo of Unique in her Donna Summer drag. She turned her back to it and reached into her bag to grab her phone. The number had been saved to her contacts and pulled up, but she never pushed the talk button to actually call it. Today, she did and watched her screen as the name blinked on it during rings: Dr. Grace Hitchens. "You've reached the office of Grace Hitchens. How can I help you?"

"Hi… um… I picked up some pamphlets about something and one of the psychiatrists in the pamphlet was… Well… I researched and found out that..." Mercedes took a deep breath and said, "I want to see if it's possible for me to make an appointment to talk?"

"Of course, Miss. I'll set you right up," the receptionist said.


	7. Chapter 7

_Guys, I had a very hard time writing this chapter, so if you're going to review, please be gentle, and if you can't be gentle, please bring your harshness to the PM box and not the review board. I've gotten so many mixed emotions on this story and I promise, I need to know how everyone feels, but I also promise that your feelings on this affect my feelings on it and it is already a very emotional thing for me, so if your feelings on it are bad, please let that stay between us, so that the rest of the readers don't have to witness it…_

_Plus, I promise that there will be more Samcedes next chapter.  
_

**Don't Make Me Over 7**

Grace Hitchens had a very nice office and Mercedes loved the interesting way that she had it decorated. She had a jungle type theme and some African art all around the place. But, it was very tasteful and welcoming, so that _Welcome to the Jungle _popped into Mercedes' head as she waited in the waiting room for her appointment. To be honest, she spent half of her morning there, simply because she knew that if she waited at home, she would be pacing, panicking and probably would eventually talk herself out of showing up. Now that she was already here, it would be harder to walk out… Especially since she introduced herself to the receptionist, Candace and told her why she was there so early.

Candace was very sweet and pretty. She kept asking Mercedes if she needed anything and making small talk when no one else was in the waiting room. The funniest thing… Mercedes managed to get more information about Candace out of her than Candace had on Mercedes. But, when she thought about it, that was what she always did to people. She had been doing it to Sam for years now. It made her feel guilty and sad, because now – she had to look at him and know that he carried this awful burden of feeling bad for her when at least some of this, she believed she might have brought upon herself. She tried to fully blame Finn, just like she tried to fully blame… _HIM, _but in the depth of her heart, she knew that some part of her felt as responsible as society frequently made her feel.

When the time for her appointment finally came, she entered Dr. Hitchens' office, tentatively, admiring the artwork and the portraits of the psychiatrist and a handsome chocolate man. "Are those photos in Africa?" Mercedes asked.

"The one behind my desk is when we were in Tanzania last summer, but several of the others are different places. We do a lot of traveling," she said with a smile. "I'm Grace and I have down here that you are Mercedes. Have a seat, Mercedes – if I can call you that. Or, if you would like to be called something else?"

"Jonesy, please," Jonesy said as she sat down. "This might sound weird, but sometimes I really hate my name. It feels like it's not just a name, but another person that lives inside of me, that I hate to let out. So… I let Jonesy handle all my biz." She laughed and asked, "Do people usually come in here just talking up a storm, or do you usually have to prod them?"

"Generally, people who come in want to talk to me, and that's why they've made the effort to come in. But, much of the time, they come in and do as you're doing – they talk about other things, anything but what they know that they actually _need _to talk about. I am fine with that, Jonesy." Grace did not add that the more that people talked, even if they weren't saying much, they were saying a lot. She was a pro at dissecting people while they thought they were shielding themselves. "As long as you have me in this room, you can talk to me about whatever you want. So, you want to talk more about that other person you brought up… the Mercedes locked away?"

"I guess I'll have to…" Jonesy said sadly. "I did bring it up."

"You don't have to talk about anything," Grace said, softly.

"I guess that I want to talk about her. She's a big part of the problem. I mean… talking about myself like this makes it out like I have multiple personalities or something, but that's not what I mean to do. I usually just blame that kind of mess on being a Gemini, but you're a doctor and even though I can cosign a lot of the textbook Gemini characteristics, I'm too much of a realist to live life based upon mysticism. It's still interesting that I am like multiple people."

"That can be a good thing," Grace said, "Like Chaka Kahn's _I'm Every Woman_, which was made even more wonderful when the late, great Whitney Houston brought it back through remake for some of the girls that may have missed it the first time."

Jonesy gave her a small smirk and said, "You've read my profile. You know that I love Whitney and Chaka."

"You asked that your past psychiatric records be sent to me, and of course, I studied the material… that doesn't mean that my words are untrue. I'm just catering this conversation to you. I am not the kind of woman who, knowing how what you've been through can affect a person, will dive into trying to make you talk about it. Like I told you, as long as you're here – we talk about whatever you want to talk about. Do I want to get to the heart of the problem, of course. Will I try to force you to reveal it? No. You have to want it. Do you want to talk about the main reason that you're here?"

"Yeah," Jonesy said. "I just don't know where to start."

"I'd like to start where we started… with the woman named Mercedes and why you don't like her."

"She's a motherfucking problem, that's why," Jonesy said, then widened her eyes and said, "I didn't mean to talk like that in front of you."

Grace smiled, gently and asked, "Why is she a problem?" Jonesy sighed and fiddled with her fingers. Grace glanced at her notes, but looked back up at Jonesy, "Well, how about this… which of you sought help the last time you went to speak with someone about your issues?"

"Her. She's always the one," Jonesy said.

Grace shrugged her shoulders and commented, "Sounds like she can't be half bad, then. She wants to make sure that you get help."

"She makes me feel like I do everything wrong. But, I feel like everything that she does is wrong," Jonesy said, sadly.

"So, no matter what you do, if you do it via Mercedes or if you do it via Jonesy, you feel like you're making a mistake," Grace repeated out loud and scribbled something down.

"Basically. Like, in high school – she's the one who began to get involved with someone that she had no business falling in love with in the first place, but when it blew up in her face and I decided to handle things differently – not falling in love, not trying to be the one man girl that she had been and trying to make sure that I never had to have my heart broken into hundreds of pieces again – needless to say, that didn't work either."

"Okay. Mercedes fell in love and she got hurt, while trying to do right by the guy, so you decided to make sure that you didn't try to do right by guys?" Grace asked.

"It wasn't that. I decided that I was going to do whatever the hell that I wanted to do with my body. I felt like they had taken so much control over it and I'd had enough!" Jonesy said and started fighting off tears. She pointed to herself and said, "You see this shit? This is her, trying to come to the surface. She manifests herself in these ways."

"By crying?" Grace asked.

"Crying, whining, complaining about shit that she has no control over! She's _weak, _Dr. Hitchens. That's _who _she is – all of my weakness. She was never fought for herself and the few times that she has attempted to fight… she lost." Grace was writing something down, even though Jonesy had already seen the recorder and knew that this was being taped.

"I want to go back a little bit and address something that you said. "They" had taken so much control over your body. Are you talking about your parents?" Grace asked.

Mercedes sighed and began to cry, "I know that I have to eventually talk about them, but I try to leave that out with first meetings."

"But, you very frequently only make it through three meetings with one doctor," Grace pointed out.

"Well, after I've met up with a person like this three times, plus with them having my records, I feel like I'm walking in there buck naked. I'd _rather _walk in here buck naked than be exposed like I am after three meetings. I know, I know – this is why I still haven't gotten the help that I need, but I promise, Dr. Hitchens, this time – I'll pull through. I have to. I got somebody else to think about."

"Who is that, if I may ask?" Grace asked.

"His name is Sam. He's my best friend, even though I haven't been a real best friend to him."

Dr. Hitchens smiled at her and crossed her hands over her desk, "Do you have feelings for Sam?"

"God, yes! Especially since I gave up sex. He's got this hard, muscular body and big hands, full lips. He's all kinds of hot and sexy, Doc." Jonesy told the woman, who simply stared at her with a blank expression, but wearing a smile. "What?"

"You're deflecting, but that's your prerogative," Grace answered.

"Dr. Hitchens, I feel like you're supposed to ask me certain questions or nudge me or something. This is one of the strangest meetings with one of you people that I have ever had. Not that I've spoken to hundreds of you, but you know that when I had my first issue, I went to three different doctors." Grace was scribbling **First issue= sex addiction.** Jonesy continued, "Then, when I had my other thing, I went to two…" **My other thing= rape fetish. **"But, the last three doctors that I went to were me just kind of trying to have someone to talk to for a little while when I had relationship problems or baby fever madness or something." **Other three doctors= first rape, false pregnancy syndrome, possible suicide attempt. **"What are you writing?"

"If I show you, it might trigger something bad," Grace said, softly. "I'm just translating in my notes the things that you can't seem to say out loud.

"I told the cop, this past time around. I pretty much told her everything, but – I will admit that it was the first time since therapy that I'd mentioned any of it and I have yet to utter any of those words, since. But, it's only been a few weeks." **This past time around= most recent rape. **"Your writing makes me nervous," Jonesy admitted. "But, I feel a bit better if I think that you're over there doodling people with penises growing out of their heads. I think I want to draw a penis head Medusa." Grace smirked at Jonesy's brand of humor, even though ashe was most likely serious.

"So… Do you want to talk about your first thing?" Grace wondered.

Jonesy sighed and said, "It started with my first love."

"Your first love? Not Mercedes' first love?" Grace asked.

Jonesy just smiled and said, "Yeah, but she's the weak part of me, isn't she? So, that jerk was her choice, but, yeah – Mr. Schue was_ my_ first love…"

_ Mercedes felt like she had been run over with a vehicle as she rushed into her art class, late. Everyone was listening to some curly haired guy talk and when she opened the door, they all turned to stare at her. Her art teacher, Holly Holiday smiled and held her hands out towards her, "This is actually one of our star artists, here at McKinley. You'll be seeing a lot of her work showcased and she spends hours in the art room, perfecting her work. Why she's late is anyone's guess, because Mercedes is generally always on time."_

"_Early," Mercedes offered, "I'm usually early," she said as she walked up to Ms. Holiday. "I'm having female problems and it I missed my ride, so I had to take the city bus and it reroutes and the closest drop off is not really that close. I'm sorry, Ms. Holiday."_

"_It's alright, Munchkin Jones!" Holiday sang out and pulled her away from the front of the class while Mr. Schuester finished talking. The teacher whispered to her favorite student, "That's Will Schuester. He's the new Director of the Arts Program here. So, all of the art and performance arts teachers and students will be subject to him."_

"_Does he deserve the job?" Mercedes wondered, eying this new guy suspiciously. The last director, Ms. Rhodes and her were very chummy, but the woman had been fired for having a drinking problem._

"_He definitely does. He's won championship show choir competitions at other schools, when he was over their glee clubs, and he has his own gallery for our kind of art, as well."_

"_Yeah, but is he any good at being a Director of the Arts Program or is Figgins just giving some guy a shot because he's won some awards and stuff?" Mercedes asked._

"_He knows his shit, Madonna Jones," Ms. Holiday said. She had this playful thing that she did with her students. If they were close enough, she called them by any name or word that popped in her mind that started with the same letter, followed by their last name. She herself had no idea why she did things like that, but she did. Mercedes told her it was because she was a "crazy ass Gemini-" see Mercedes and Ms. Holiday were simply cool like that, but Ms. Holiday said that it was another form of art, a lesser form where she created false names for people, trying not to ever use the same one twice._

"_If you believe in him, I guess I'll just trust your word," Mercedes said. When she and her teacher finished their little exchange, they looked up to see that everyone in the class was staring at the side of the room that they were on. _

"_I was catching Mercedes up. Did we miss something?" Ms. Holiday asked._

_Mr. Schuester said, "Well, I was wrapping up and I simply wanted to turn your class back over to you," with a bashful grin._

_Ms. Holiday clapped her hands together and asked, "Did anyone have any questions for Mr. Schuester, before he moves on to visit Ms. Corcoran's room?"_

_Mercedes raised her hand and Mr. Schuester pointed to her. Some of her classmates snickered, some groaned and some began to whisper and she even heard a mutter of , 'This bitch trying to be teacher's pet already…" Mercedes turned towards the classroom, looking around diligently for whoever the hell said that so that they could get all the business in a little bit, when class was over – and her monthly stalker was here too? Oh yeah – if that was Azimio's ass, it was about to be on, after this class. Azimio tried to stop snickering when he noticed her looking at him. "Yes, Mercedes?" Mr. Schuester said and she looked back at the new director._

"_Sorry, somebody in the class wanted to make me lose my religion right quick…"_

"_Lose your reli…"_

"_I wanted to ask if you are going to be the kind of director that protects the arts and supports them, that encourages and inspires the artists and that helps and works along with the teachers? Because if you aren't… If you're just here to prove yourself in the world or make a name or get paid, let us know now, so we won't waste our time trying to be real artists here."_

_Mr. Schuester laughed, lightly and told Ms. Holiday, "I like her already." Then he looked at Mercedes and told her, "I assure you, I plan to do all that you ask and require of me in this position and I intend to do it in such a way that there will never be another as involved and in tune with the arts, the artists and the art teachers that this school has."_

"_That's all I ask," Mercedes said and took her seat. She didn't even notice how the older man looked at her with intrigue. She didn't even notice the attention he was paying to her as she sat down and began to prepare her desk for class, as a few other students were asking questions about painting graffiti murals and such and such…_

"Mercedes?" Grace called.

Mercedes looked at the doctor with blank eyes and said, "I was just thinking about the first time that I ever saw Mr. Schuester. It wasn't any kind of chemistry that I can tell you about. There was nothing special about him. He was a mediocre looking white dude twice my age with a butt chin and a jerry curl. I have NO idea how he turned into an object of obsession for me. It seems like at some point in time, I could tell you why, but now, it's been so many years that I have no idea what I saw in him."

"Maybe it was the fact that he saw something in you? He was a mentor of yours, wasn't he? He helped you to get better at your work and he helped you to do better in programs that would benefit you someday. You might have really opened yourself to him," Grace said.

"I did. I showed him who I really was inside at the time and he took that information and he played it to the damned beat, Dr. Hitchens."

"There is no excuse for a 34 year old man getting involved with a 15 year old girl, even though I know you may have been mature, talented, smart, charming, and everything else that a man could possibly want. There was no excuse for that."

"The relationship wasn't the part that really hurt me, though. I know that it was wrong and I know that it was illegal, but that wasn't what I feel bad about. I felt bad about. He and his wife were going through a divorce and I felt bad for him, because she seemed like a real bitch and he seemed like such a nice man. Then, (I got to know him, and just like I had with April, I began to spend time with him. It really didn't seem out of place to anybody, because he had several students that he spent time with. He had a group called the Director's Cut – it was a selected bunch of us who were stars in our field and he did things outside of school with us, sometimes on individual basis and it was never an issue." She shook her head. "I had a secret relationship with him the second half of my sophomore year, the summer afterwards and the beginning of my junior year. Then, I got pregnant and all hell broke loose…"

_ Mercedes was terribly afraid, but Will was an adult and he was capable and had money and most importantly, he cared about her. He would help her to take care of this. He would be there for her, whether it was to help her with this or to help her make it disappear… but the thought of killing a child that she created with him was just too much to bear. It made her head and heart hurt and her belly turn. But that feeling was nothing compared to the way that she felt when she finally told him about it._

"_Mercedes, this is not something that we can allow to happen," he said. _

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You have to get rid of it," he said._

"_I can't. I mean, even if I had the money and even if I could just walk into a clinic and do it, as a sixteen year old, I can't… and I DON'T have the money… and I don't believe in doing something like that. That isn't fair to the baby and how could you even want to kill it?"_

"_It's not a baby, yet, Mercedes and if you let it go that far, this child will ruin both of our lives."_

"_Well, maybe you oughtta just walk away, because I'm not killing my baby!" She snapped, with tears in her eyes. He reached out for her and she let him hold her as she cried._

"_Deep down, you know it's the right thing to do," he said._

"_No. I've thought long and hard on this. I've cried about it. Prayed about it and meditated on it and deep down inside, I want this baby to have the chance to have a life. I thought that you would be happy. You and your ex broke up because she faked a pregnancy and you said that you wanted to be able to have kids!"_

"_When I'm in a functional relationship!" He snapped, letting go of her. Mercedes was a wad of emotions and tears. "Mercedes, we've always known that this was something that we could not tell anyone about. I think that a damned baby declares our secret very loud and fucking clear!"_

"_I'm not going to get rid of it, Will. So fuck you!" She snapped and shoved him off of her._

"_Mercedes!" He called, after her, but she had to make a run to the toilet. Even though she had been too nervous to eat all today, the little bit that she had last night was going to come up in a major way. _

_ He caught up to her later on. "Mercedes, I have to talk to you," he said. She glared at him and continued to walk, but he kept in step with her. Her short legs were never going to get her away from him. "I have an idea. It helps you to be able to keep the baby and gives me the opportunity to help you as a concerned teacher and friend."_

"_And that idea is?" She asked._

"_Finger another father," he said. She halted and turned sharply to stare at him in disbelief and confusion. "Hear me out. You don't have to love him or even be with him long. Just get another person, someone your own age, who would reasonably deny fatherhood and get him to have sex with you. Everyone knows that all it takes is one time."_

"_I can't believe that you're suggesting this!" She said, new tears forming._

"_Or would you rather destroy my career and have me unable to provide for myself ever again, for making the mistake of falling in love with you and finding you irresistible? I wish to hell that I knew how not to want you, Mercedes. I wish that I did, but I don't and how you got pregnant when we always used protection – either a condom broke or you're in the smallest most incredible percentage. I'm asking you to do this so that we can still be together, but we will both face scrutiny and shame if anyone knows that you've been sleeping with me. They'll reevaluate all of your accomplishments and mistake them for acts of favoritism. You'll never get your scholarship…"_

"_Shut up!" She hissed._

"_You know that it's true. You have to find someone. Preferably someone white and if you're really smart, someone with curly hair."_

"_And when my parents demand a paternity test and he comes up clean, I look like a hoe!" She whispered, loudly._

"_But, it'll only last through high school, if people don't forget about it by next school year, and even if they don't – you'll be off to art school, with a talent to take you anywhere."_

"_I want to be where YOU are!" She said, sniffling._

"_This kid makes it impossible, unless of course, you can finger another daddy," he told her. Then, he turned her around and gave her a slight push in the direction of one of the Director's Cut members – Jesse St. James. Mercedes sighed and cried. Shit! But, she did it. It was the grossest and most humiliating thing that she had ever done in her life. But, she convinced herself that she was doing it for her future, for Will's future, for the baby's future. _

_ Jesse was sitting in the auditorium, playing the piano and singing Hello by Lionel Ritchie when she interrupted by joining in on the song to make it a duet. When she sat next to him and they finished the song he was nearly blown away, "Mercedes Jones, I had no idea that you were a singer," he said._

"_Oh, I'm not," she said, slightly warm in the face. Jesse really was an attractive guy._

"_The hell you aren't! Why aren't you in Glee club or the one of the choirs?"_

"_I'm in the choir at my church," she told him and shrugged._

"_Well, you must be one of God's best kept secrets, because I had no idea that underneath all of that was such an amazing singer!"_

"_I'm alright," she said, bashfully._

"_You're _alright? _If you're alright, who the hell is great?" He asked._

"_My go to three? Whitney Houston, Chaka Kahn and Tina Turner. Others in my Queens Catalog include Diana Ross, Aretha Franklin, Patti Labelle, Anita Baker, Donna Summer, and Mariah Carey… and of course, Beyonce for the new generation." After they talked a while longer, mostly about Jesse trying to convince her to join Glee, they exchanged numbers and Mercedes really had to try to put in some work to seduce him. But, she succeeded. He was a teenage male, after all. It didn't even take that much prodding to get him inside of her unprotected, though she felt hideously dirty for it and she felt so guilty the entire time for deceiving him and setting him up._

_ After that, Jesse hung around her more. She figured that even though all it took was one time, it would be more believable if there were more times, but she had to admit, it put her in a weird state of mind, because she had gotten so used to be a faithful girl to a man that she really loved, to let him convince her to do this thing, not only to herself, but to another student… and innocent guy, who really treated her very good for the whole two weeks that she slept around with and "dated" him. Even when she tried Will's tactic of fingering him as the father, though he flipped out and really freaked, because he was a senior and had scholarships and such a bright future, he quickly told her, "I'll see what I can do. I want to help. My parents are rich, so they'll be willing to help, but they're a bit stuck up, so they'll probably have you to take a test, so prove to them that it's mine. But, I totally and fully believe you. Everyone knows that you're a good girl, Mercediva." He hugged her and kissed her on the nose and she exploded into tears, feeling even more guilty and terrible than before. Then, he tried to console her and told her that it would be alright. Shit! Shit! Shit! _

"_I can't do this to Jesse, Mr. Schue. He's very arrogant and very condescending and a lot of things, but he's also a caring person. He's treated this baby better than its actual father!" But, Schuester had other plans. Mercedes was going to tell Jesse the truth – that this wasn't his baby and she didn't expect him to take care of her or it, but when she was called into Mr. Schuester's office and walked in to see her parents, Jesse's parents and a very stressed out looking Jesse, she nearly shit on herself. "What's going on?"_

"_Mr. Schuester contacted the St. Jameses and I about you and Jesse's unfortunate predicament," her mother said, angrily. Mercedes turned on him. That was the last straw. She glared at him with tears welling in her eyes, but was forced to sit down by her mother. Mr. Schuester had these different places where quiet abortions could be held and even a little plan for them to go in on half for the pay, since the children were both equally responsible. Jesse reached over and grabbed Mercedes' hand. She looked over at him. He looked really relieved, but sad, too. She didn't know how the hell to feel._

"_This shit cannot be real," she said to him. _

_That was the time that her mother reached over and pried her hand out of Jesse's asking, "Don't you think that the two of you have touched enough?" Jesse intertwined his fingers, looking lonely and hurt, and his current concern was the only thing that kept Mercedes from confessing to everything, and putting Will Schuester's ass on full blast! That would really hurt Jesse. He really was a good guy. _

_ After the procedure, Mercedes kept to herself. Jesse and she still hung out, but things were different. She didn't want or like to be touched. She would hold his hand and let him put his arm around her, but beyond that, she couldn't stand much contact for a while. When he graduated and she got ready for her senior year, she had not spoken to Mr. Schuester aside from specifically art program stuff in months. _

_ Jesse was going to be around for the summer, then go off to school Mercedes decided that she didn't want to let some messed up stuff between her and a horrible educator ruin her entire life, though she had to admit that the abortion had caused her a lot of detrimental stress. She had always been taught that was murder, and on top of that, it had not been her choice. She felt like someone else had sentenced her kid to death. The fact that Jesse didn't seem to take it as hard as she did made her put up a barrier between them, but she had to keep reminding herself that even though he didn't know it – that was never his baby to mourn over. It wasn't until they were hanging out one summer night that he confessed, "I think about him or her all the time."_

"_Say what?" She asked._

"_The… you know…. The unborn one," he said._

_She joked, "That sounds like a terrible horror movie. I should write the script for it."_

"_I felt so bad for you, at first," he said. "I knew that you didn't want to do it and I kept thinking about how you must have cried and how hurt you must have been. But, that expanded to me wondering if people are right about them – that they are lives, that they have a soul or whatever." He sighed and said, "I never really had to think about that before. Now, it kind of freaks me out. Did our parents murder their grandchild? I keep wondering if that's what it was?"_

"_No. It was painful, but it was quick and I'll always wonder what if, but we can't let it eat at us," she told him. After a long period of uncomfortable silence, she said, "I didn't know that you cared about it."_

"_Yeah," he said. "Well, I kinda care about you and that sort of was going to be this beautiful little, ridiculously talented project that both of us equally contributed to." Before she knew it, she was having a summer fling with Jesse, and perpetuating the lie that they had lost a child together. A lie that she would never come clean about, as long as she lived. But, when he left for school, in the fall and they decided that it would have simply been awkward and tedious t have a long distance relationship, they vowed to remain friends and she had taken on a whole new persona that would devastate her artwork in the best of ways and devastate her reputation in the worse of ways. "Everyone knows you're a good girl," Jesse once said to her. Well, by senior year, that good girl was fucking dead._

Grace stared at Mercedes and Mercedes opened her eyes. "I felt like I was in a scene from Sucker Punch," she said. "Like you and I were here talking, but in my head, I was in a completely different place… but, I've run out of time, today, haven't I?"

"You have a few more minutes. Did you ever tell Jesse the truth?" She asked.

"No. I waited so long that for me to ever tell him would have just been cruel. He had the right to know, but if I told him later, it would just stir shit up for him for no good reason but to ease my conscious. I asked him if he ever still thought about it and he told me, 'from time to time.' So, it's not something that really affects him anymore. I'm glad about that."

"Next time you're here, would you like to talk about your senior year?" Grace asked.

Jonesy shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know. I guess if I show up next time, I'll see what I feel like talking about."

"Because it's easier for you to not make a commitment than to make one and fail at it or have it fail you," Grace said. "Oh, before you go, I want to give you something and hopefully it'll help you to want to come back next time. I always come to meetings with people who have been through what you have with a list of reasons why your rape was your fault," she said and held out a sheet of paper to Mercedes. Mercedes didn't know if she wanted to take it, because she was afraid that she would fall into every category. But, when she took it and glanced at it, she didn't see anything. She flipped it and didn't see anything. She looked at the doctor. "There you have it, the full list of how, why and when rape is your fault. If you see anything on that list that pertains to you, make note of it, so that we can discuss it in the future." She said, with a soft smile.

"See you next time, Dr. Hitchens," Mercedes told her, and got up to leave the office, staring at the blank sheet of paper, trying not to cry.

"Mercedes, should I put you down for the same time next week?" Candace asked.

"Yeah, Candy. I'll see you bright and early that morning," she answered as she made her way to the elevator.


	8. Chapter 8

**Don't Make Me Over 8**

_You can do this. You've done it for years. Yes, there has been a setback, but that is no reason for you to fail yourself. You are enough to do this and pull it off. You have got this! _Jonesy pumped herself up as she applied her makeup and got dressed. If she wanted to do anything less than socialize at the moment, she couldn't tell you what it was. Tina called her earlier in the week and told her, "We've got Puck drumming in Shucks on a Shingle, now. Want you to come hang out at rehearsal with us."

"Oh, Girl – I have a new schedule and thangs. I've been so swamped lately with work and different stuff," she tried to excuse herself.

"I want to know how you feel about a song selection that I want to try to cover at our next live show," Tina urged, "And you already know that Finn won't be there. That bastard better never be wherever the hell Puck and Mike are. They both still want to fuck his shit up for what he did."

"I heard that Sam got him pretty good," She played it off and don't act like it was a complete beat down. I handled myself with that big ass lump of shit. He's just bigger and stronger, so winning was pretty much outside of reason," she said. "What cover are you wanting me to test," she changed the subject before it became too much to bear."

"It's a surprise, to be honest. BUT, we're going to donate all of our proceeds the night of our gig to the Battered Women's Justice Project," Tina practically sang. "I know that you weren't _battered. _It was a one-time thing, for you, but it's made me think about how easy it is for a guy that's supposed to be perfectly normal to have this dark stranger beneath their skin. It made me feel for the women that have to see that dark stranger on the regular, you know?"

"Well, yeah. In the case, of course, I'll come around and see what you got for that cause," Jonesy promised.

Now, it was rehearsal night and forcing herself to appear herself was two and a half tasks. Because even if she was simply hanging out; she always was fully made up and generally in her partying clothes. Not feeling festive generally was not a component of her style. But, what was she going to do – go in there wearing the pajamas that she had been lounging around the house in her off time on? Keep her wrap cap draped around her head? Settle for Vaseline on her lips and cocoa butter lotion on her ashy skin before sliding into her huge comfy ladybug slippers and chill with them in such rare form? That would make them think that something was wrong – that she wasn't herself, that she was still getting over what happened, that maybe she would never be the same.

In the past, she had not taken what people thought to heart. It only seemed that she did this when she was facing turmoil… when her heart was vulnerable. That was the time to make sure to toughen up. That was the time when she slapped a coat of paint on it and called it remodeled. Tonight was a jungle green and leopard print kind of night, with a wicked up do and of course, crazy heels. She had a green pair that Unique had handed her down with a slew of other clothes from her changing wardrobes. She'd personalized them, a bit – certain to add ankle cuffs with feather accents that fluttered out from the back of her foot like a rooster tail, and her favorite, lace up straps. She had even made a choker to match the shoes. The green choker fit nearly the entire length of her neck, buckled in the back, where the green feather rooster tail cascaded, without interfering with the fierce up do.

She rode over with Sam, hoping that the car ride over was not going to be the most fun that she had all night. Even though Sam knew what happened to her, it wasn't something that they ever discussed and she really wanted to try to prepare herself for being around numerous people, again and around him, without that odd feeling of shame. Shame that it happened and she could do nothing to prevent it. Shame that he knew. The two of them were listening to, rapping and singing along with D12's My Band, in the car, dancing. "I'm the lead singer of my band, my salsa makes all the girls take off their underpants. I'm the lead singer of my band my salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance. My salsa…" She and Sam were singing loudly.

"My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants! My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance and take off their underpants, my salsa!" They sang, then they both exploded into laughter together and Mercedes grabbed Sam's hand, not really thinking about it. When he looked at her little hand wrapped around his much larger one, the contrast in size, the contrast in color, the perfectly comfortable way that she handled it, he smiled. Her hand left his too quickly as she went to skip a few tracks on the CD that she'd made for car trips with him to _Ain't Gonna Bump with No Big Fat Woman. _That seemed to be one of her favorites. "You and this song!" He complained.

"He's so serious about not wanting to dance with this fat lady that he made an entire damned song about it. That's hilarious to me and just goes to show that that big girl must've been something else for him to immortalize her through song." She said, rotating her neck at her driving bestie. "Besides, listen to how hard he sings about it. This fool is so pressed that this song gives me all kinds of life." She began to shimmy and sing to Sam, "Three nights ago, I was a disco. Wanted to get on down. I was ready to go…" He laughed, and reached for her hand, but she stopped singing and pulled hers away. Sam looked at her, but she quickly played it off and kept singing, pointing her fingers into the air, like it was part of her CAR-eography – a word that she used for her "in my car solo jam parties." Sam placed both of his hands back on the steering wheel, but the tension that had filled the car up was undeniable.

They made their way into Puck's house and there was music playing in the background, while Santana and Puck were both out on the front porch, having a smoke. Mercedes turned her nose up at the smell. "I must have been away for too long, because those smell gross!" She hissed at Puck.

"Yeah, yeah – well, you better not let it deter you from me getting my damned long time no see hug!" He said and put his cigarette out before opening wide arms for her. She scrunched her face, but gave him a hug. "Damn, Girl – it's good to see you. It's been weeks, huh? And you're looking good, as usual. Fine ass," he said and popped her on the backside. Sam winced at it, not knowing how she might react. He saw a glimmer of a startled jump on her part, but she played it off and laughed at him. After all, no need to cause a stir about something that was a regular part of their greeting… but Sam could tell from her eyes that it had unsettled her a bit.

"Hands off the merchandise," she said, playfully and poked Puck in the chest with her finger.

"Does that mean that ass is for sale?" Santana asked, _not _putting her cigarette out when she went to hug Mercedes, herself, "Because I'm willing to pay full price." Now, Santana's advances, she didn't seem to mind at all. The two began shamelessly flirting and Sam was relieved, because he would have thought that the whole 'ass for sale' topic would have definitely been a bad switch for her. "And, I hear that you're off of men… Good choice, good choice…" he heard Santana say, before he glanced at Puck and saw Puck staring at him, curiously. Sam threw his friend a smile and headed inside, himself. He was concerned about Jonesy, but he didn't want to hang up under her, especially when it was clear that she was trying to fall into her normal old groove.

Inside, he saw Tina dancing with Quinn and Brittany to _Changes _by the Deftones. He raised an eyebrow and watched them as he approached Mike. "Mike Chang!" He cheered.

Mike held a finger up at him and said, "Shh, shh… Don't interrupt the hottest thing that I have ever seen." Sam smirked and looked on as Brittany lifted Tina's leg up and snaked herself up the length of it, then proceeded to pretty much dry hump her in the middle of the room.

"Brittany's drunk, right?" Sam asked.

"Yes, and I approve," Mike said, smiling at his friend and his girlfriend. Sam felt a certain stirring in his pants, as well. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't really been feeling that way, lately. As a matter of fact, he couldn't remember anything turning him on his Jonesy's attack… and like that, he felt sick and wrong for even allowing himself that brief moment of sexual interest. How could he even fantasize about even two of his hottest female associates, maybe scissoring later on, with Mike and Santana's lucky asses watching, when he knew that Jonesy was walking around, feeling hurt and alone in her own skin because of unwanted sexual invasion?

Sam had been online, researching different stories and reports about rape, and the things that the victims would say about how it affected them and how they felt made it difficult for him to sleep at night. He imagined Jonesy, saying all of these things, feeling all of these things, and it broke his heart that he didn't protect her from that. It broke his heart that it would be done to anyone and the statistics drove him to near madness. He had read that every two minutes in the United States, someone was sexually assaulted. After reading that, he cried for about 40 minutes, on and off – unable to stop glancing at his clock every two minutes, wishing that he never heard this information. 54% of sexual assaults were not reported to police, and he knew for a fact that Jonesy was in that percentile.

As she entered, with Santana's arm draped around her and Puck following them, (shamelessly staring at her ass), he thought about the fact that 97% of rapists would never spend a day in jail and 2/3 assaults were committed by someone that the victim knew. It began to shake the way that he looked at his friends and coworkers and strangers on the street. As Jonesy cheerfully greeted his band mates and other close friends, he kept thinking about how he probably knew more victims than he would have ever even thought about, and more frightening, he probably knew some rapists, too. Even though he read conflicting statistics, because he checked several different sites for the information – no matter which site, no matter what the exact numbers were, the information was unnerving and the fact that something like this, something so common had been unknown to him until he knew personally someone who had gone through it… It made him feel extremely bad for them, for her… that society had ignored their safety needs and victimization so much that even though the numbers screamed epidemic, the public considered it uncommon.

"What the hell are you thinking so hard about?" Puck asked him.

Sam shook his head and said, "Personal stuff."

Puck nodded and told him, "Look – I know that you and Quinn were getting something started when she and I kind of… hooked up… but, you're still my boy, right? I mean… if it's an issue…"

"It's not. I'm pretty sure that Quinn and I were never gonna go far," Sam said. "I hadn't really thought much about anybody but Jonesy, lately."

"How is she doing? She seems like she's holding up pretty well; but, I don't know if it's an act or what. Was that his first time ever hitting her like that?" Puck wondered.

"She's coming along. It's just hard to get used to being around people again when somebody that you considered a friend does something like that to you," Sam said and ground his teeth.

"He's been hiding out, something serious. I ran into Jonesy's boys – Azimio and Karofsky – and they have been searching for his ass. No lie, if they see him, he's gonna get fucked up," Puck said.

"I thought that they were friends of his," Sam said.

"Well, yeah, they all played football together. But, Jonesy is like their queen or something," Puck said. "And people can say what the hell they want about gay or bi dudes or whatever, but those two aint no joke. They're going to terminate Finn's world."

"I need to hang out with those dudes, then. I didn't get to deal with him nearly like I wanted to because that dumbass Rachel jumped in the way and I hit her and felt bad enough to pause," Sam said.

"None of us saw Jonesy after Finn hit her. Was she pretty bad off? I mean – she wasn't put into the hospital, so I guess he didn't do any serious damage, but that's still just a chickenshit thing to do – to hit on a little mama like that,: Puck fussed.

"He did do serious damage. I mean, bruises fade and stuff like that, but when somebody that you thought had your back would betray you – that's an emotional beating… and that shit's damaging," Sam said.

"Man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that it wasn't. I just meant that I'm so glad that he didn't break her neck or… or kill her," Puck said. He backed away from Sam and announced, "I am going to grab a beer. You want?"

"No. I'm driving," Sam said.

"You drink and drive all the time," Puck reminded him.

"Naw, I've stopped. I decided to swear off of some stuff, too. So far, drinking and driving is on the list and sexually objectifying women," Sam said.

"Sexu-what the who?" Puck asked.

"Treating women like they're just alive for us to have sex with," Sam said. Puck nodded and gave Sam a '_Cool story, Bro' _look. Sam rolled his eyes and looked over at his friends again. Now, Jonesy was all up in that all girl body roll swirl. He kept his distance and noticed that Puck went to stand next to Mike after he got his beer. No problem. He was going through changes that his friends were never going to understand and he wouldn't be able to discuss it with them without giving away why these changes had become so necessary to him… and he wasn't going to betray her trust, like that.

It was obvious that she didn't want people to know what really happened to her, not even him, so he was not going to spill that information to anybody. He owed her at least that much. He wasn't even going to risk accidentally saying something, like he tended to do sometimes when he got drunk. Drinking and driving was pretty bad, but he wasn't so much concerned about a possible vehicular accident (in his mind, he was an excellent drunk driver), as he was a possible verbal accident – one that could slice into Jonesy's heart, like a knife. She, however, appeared to be willing to have a drink. He didn't know if it was because she just felt like doing so and having a good time, or if she was still trying to sell the façade that seemed to be properly marketed to the others.

Shucks on a Shingle practiced several of their original songs and several covers. Jonesy enjoyed the way that they sounded with Puck on the drums, but she did have to admit, at least to Brittany, "They sound really good, but Finn was clearly a better drummer than Puck."

Brittany's eyes widened and she looked over to Santana and said, "Jonesy said the "F" word and I don't know how to respond."

"Did she say that she was game for it, because if so, respond by telling her that we can all leave, now," Santana said. _Finn, _Brittany mouthed to her girlfriend. Santana sighed and switched places with Brittany, putting Brittany and Quinn next to each other on the couch. Sam noticed the switch, but didn't say anything as he and Tina continued to play their instruments and sort of circle each other. They had a good stage chemistry that people frequently called sexual tension, but it made for their fan base going crazy over them. "Hey… you want to talk about Finn, Jonesy?" Santana asked.

"Sure don't. I was just saying that he's a better drummer. Puck's going to have to practice a lot harder to be a good replacement. S.O.S. fans can be assholes. They'll already be salty that Finn's gone. They'll really be about the bull if they attend a show and hear somebody that's not nearly as good has taken his place," Jonesy said.

Tina was now watching Sam watch Jonesy and Santana… hard. She noticed that he seemed to be very concerned about Jonesy tonight and with the stuff that had happened between her and Finn (that Tina conveniently stayed out of), she didn't care to see something else erupt for the woman because she brought these people into her life.

"So!" Tina called out, interrupting the practice, "You guys want to go over that dedication piece?" Sam allowed his guitar to hang around him as he looked around at the other band members to see them all agree.

Santana squeezed Jonesy's shoulder and told her, "We'll talk more later, okay?" She got up and she and Quinn took the extra microphones.

Mercedes laughed and asked, "Your back up dancers are going to sing?"

Santana pointed her finger into the air and said, "I'll have you know that this bitch can blow, alright?" Mercedes nodded once. Noted, and just waited.

Tina informed her, "This is just a trial run. When we perform it, we'll have some other musicians and instruments. It's gonna be pretty sweet, I think." Jonesy waved a hand at her. She was sure that it would be fine.

Puck began to play the drums and she thought that it sounded a bit familiar, but she couldn't really put her finger on it until she heard Artie began to sing, "Deception. Disgrace. Evil as clear as the scar on his face. Deception…"

Quinn and Santana sang, "An outrage."

"Disgrace,"

"For shame!"

Mercedes stared at them, her smile now melting off of her face as they continued with the song, that she still couldn't place but knew that she knew it. And these words were doing something to her on the inside. Why did Tina want her to hear this song? Why were they all so impassioned in performing it, even in a rehearsal setting? She felt the tears welling in her eyes.

"…See you later, alligator," she heard Santana and Quinn sing.

Then Sam, Tina and Artie sang, "Born in grief. Raised in hate . Helpless to defy his fate. Let him run. Let him live. But do not forget what we cannot forgive…" Tears began to fall down her cheeks as the Tina and the ladies began to sing, "And he is not one of us! He has never been one of us. He is not a part of us. He is not our kind." Everyone began singing the next part, but Mercedes didn't hear it, because she had gotten up and stormed out. They stopped and Sam pulled off his guitar, while Tina looked concerned and Puck kept drumming, wearing a confused face.

As Sam gave chase, the others just quit practicing. Tina sighed and put her bass down. "Was it that bad?" Puck asked, finally stopping his drums.

Sam ran up to Jonesy as she collapsed over the toilet and began to throw up. He entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Fortunately, her hair was up, but the top of it was coming over the top of her head and he held it, just to be safe that she didn't puke on it. She began to cry as she made sick in the bowl and when she was done, she flushed and jumped up, with her face turned up. "God damn it! Does he ever WASH that thing?" She asked, holding herself. "Makes me want to throw up all over again…" She splashed her face with water and borrowed some of Puck's mouthwash. Then, she pat her face dry, glad that her makeup wasn't TOO demolished, and she took a deep breath, "What do they know?" She asked Sam.

"They know that you've let be known," he answered. "What happened back there?"

"Those words to that song… it sounded like all of you were singing about me," she said.

"It's about Finn," he told her.

Jonesy turned and leaned back on the sink and repeated, "It _sounded like _it was about me. Deception. Disgrace. Outrage. Shame… It's like that's all I know. I felt like I was just having all of the layers that I put on everyday to work my way up to a damned smile were just being peeled away. I thought that maybe everybody found out. I thought that maybe everybody knew that I'm not who I try to be. It became especially real when you said "Not one of us," because, deep down inside, I know that I'm not." Her face was distorted in pain and it killed him to see her trying not to cry.

"You wanna go home?" He asked. She nodded, sadly. He nodded back to her and reached for her hand. He stopped and gave her the option of taking his. He had to remember to be careful about touching her. Even though they were friends and she was in therapy, it was clear that there was a lot going on inside of her and his research made things a bit more understandable for him. Mercedes took his hand and let him lead her out of the bathroom.

Puck, Tina and Artie were waiting outside of the door and she jumped. "Is everything alright?" Tina asked, concerned.

"I'm not feeling well. Um.. the song is great. It's going to be pretty amazing when you guys polish it up. I have to go home," Jonesy said, holding her stomach. Sam took her hand and led her through the band. She collected her small purse, kissed and hugged everyone goodnight and they left, for a silent journey home.

Eyes Without as Face was on again, but as soon as Sam saw it, he flipped right past it. He watched Mercedes gather her feet to her chest when she must have recognized the movie, too. "Creepy shit," she commented. Sam didn't reply. He didn't want to push anything and he knew that of all movies, _that _one would be a thorn in her side until she recovered, and could possibly end up being a trigger, even after that… "And what gave her dad the idea that he had the right to try to decide what was best for her? He just decides that because his daughter is no longer what he wanted her to be or maybe even no longer what she wanted to be that he could just defy the rules of human decency to try to fix her, without her damned permission?"

"I think that he just loved her so much that he wanted to try to make things better for her, even to the point that he let it drive him crazy…"

"You may have missed the contradiction in that, but I didn't. Loving somebody doesn't drive you crazy. If you get driven crazy, you made a wrong turn somewhere and missed the road that led to real love. The problem is that people keep missing their turns and get lost on all of these other roads that they just start to look the same. We can't figure out how to get it back to good, so we just kinda say, _This seems like love, _but… then it ain't and we're lost and alone with no one to direct us back to where we need to be." Sam sort of understood, because he had no idea where the hell they stood, but as far as his heart was concerned, he was in love with her, and always would be. But, she was making some sense.

"Well, you know, even though there are a lot of different roads, there are too many people traveling them for any of us to stay lost and alone forever. Someone eventually finds you, no matter what road you're on, no matter what turn you took, and maybe together, both of them can find out exactly which direction they need to go in, so that they can find their way to love." Mercedes looked at Sam and they smiled softly at each other, then he turned to face the TV again.

"Well, I think it's safe to say that more often than not, when other people find you, you sometimes both end up just getting more lost. But, sometimes, it is worth all of the adventure." She smiled and shook her head, "But, I have no sympathy for that girl's pushy father. I have no tolerance for parents that do terrible things in the name of their love of their children. P)lus, that creepy mask!"

"I will never understand why that is so creepy to you!" He teased.

"You won't, because if I know you, you'll laugh if I tell you."

"I promise, I won't. This is such a mystery to me, considering that when we first watched that movie, everyone was a bit high and mellow and you were so worked up. You reacted worse to watching that than Brittany did to watching Hostel."

"This girl doesn't have a face," Mercedes said. "She represents so many other girls in our world, because she once did have a face and a life and dreams of a bright future, but then she lost something that she can never get back and the mask that she wears is for her audience. SHE lost her face, but yet, her entire life from this point is going to be trying to make OTHER PEOPLE more comfortable about looking at her and trying to see her as a person. Because if they saw what was beneath the mask, they would shun her, even though it wasn't her fault. She would have to suffer if she showed herself to people."

Sam thoughtfully ran the words through his head and Jonesy went on one of her infamous "my problem with this movie" tangents, but this was different – this was very, very personal. "And she has resigned herself to hiding, too ashamed to even think of living life in any other way. But, her father decides, that she shouldn't have to hide. So, instead of trying to teach her to love herself in spite of the horror that has become of her, he tries to change her and he's willing to do anything to do that, either because he can't love her the way that she is, or because he's worried that the world can't. But, isn't it more important that she learns to love herself, just the way she is? With the damage irreversible and her future forever changed? That mask is a mask that even girls with some of the prettiest faces are forced to wear. They can't show the world what they really look like, because they're too afraid that they can't be loved that way, so they wear a mask and when they look in the mirror, they see a blank face, with no life in it." She looked over at Sam and he was staring at her, very intrigued and somewhat scared. She forced a small smile and completed her monologue with, "And that's my problem with that movie."

Sam blew out a deep breath through his puckered lips and shook his head, "And I thought that it would be something deep and profound." She smirked at his sarcasm and focused on the TV. He began to change stations, as he said, "Well, I can't tell any of those faceless girls what to do, but if any of them wanted my advice, I would suggest them just taking their masks off. To be honest, maybe the world would hate them. Maybe people wouldn't understand them. Maybe they would lose each and every friend that they ever thought that they had… but at least they wouldn't have to hide anymore. It sounds stifling. It sounds like suffocating. It sounds like they are punishing themselves for the sake of other people's opinions. It sounds exhausting and it might be one of the factors that keep them turning down the wrong words. It's hard to see where you're going when you have a mask on. Besides, you never know… You might take off the mask and somebody will think that you're even more beautiful than the person that you tried to pass as." He stopped on a certain channel and cheered, "Who Framed Roger Rabbit!"

Jonesy smiled and added to the cheer, "And it's only been on for a couple of minutes!"

"Yes!" Sam said excitedly, abandoning the remote to the coffee table.

Jonesy was equally as stoked about one of their favorite movies, one that they had not watched in a while, at that, but she was also feeling some kind of way about their conversation. She turned to look at Sam, while Baby Huey was on the television fussing at the crew. She hoped that he really believed what he was telling her, because she was working so hard to come from behind her mask. It meant a lot to her, for even the possibility that the one that she was trying to do that for believed that it was the best thing to do.


	9. Chapter 9

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter has the first rape in it.

**Don't Make Me Over 9**

Mercedes came into her work area right after her session with Dr. Hitchens. It had been a rough one, and she really had not wanted to do a thing afterwards but eat a fried sandwich with raspberry jam and go to sleep with the it is. But, she was a working woman, after all. When she came in, she saw Kurt, standing over Unique's shoulder, going over something with her. She had not seen him in weeks… since the night of… "I'm here!" Mercedes announced, trying to sound chipper about being present, when in fact, she preferred to be at home resting.

Kurt gasped when he saw her and placed both hands on his cheeks, "Jonesy! Oh my gosh! I am so glad to see you!" He cheered and rushed to give her a hug that she felt extremely awkward about. She had not attempted to reach out to Kurt and whenever he reached out to her, by phone or text, she brushed him off or ignored him. He was a cool guy and all, but some part of her felt bitter towards him – like he had chosen Finn's side over hers, when in fact, she would expected him to. He and Finn were family, or something like it, and he had only just befriended her when the shit happened. Plus, he didn't even know the full story. Still… it hurt to interact with him knowing that he was still cool with Finn. Kurt was asking her about the job and such, when Unique interrupted.

"Miss Jones, are you a fashion designer? Because my favorite one is about to be fired," Unique announced. Kurt rolled his eyes and returned to his work, as Jonesy got her stuff settled.

"What are you doing, Unique, girl. I thought you needed me today," Jonesy said.

"I do. I need you to look over my clothing selections for my upcoming show, so that you can map out the makeup sketches for 13 outfits," Unique said, waving her over to the book that Kurt and she were looking in. Jonesy came over. Kurt had wonderful work and she could already imagine the excellent makeup possibilities… but she was still thinking real hard about the session.

She was in the waiting room when a pregnant woman came out of Grace's office crying, and saying, "I just don't understand how they can make me keep this baby? I didn't ask for what happened to me to happen!" Grace was trying to calm the woman by promising to call her as soon as she didn't have any appointments. Then, she saw Grace hug the woman and make her promise to hold on until then – just a couple of hours.

Jonesy offered, "You could even sit here and chill with Candace, She's good in the meantime company." Candace smiled at Jonesy from behind the desk and went to collect Grace's distraught patient, offering her water or a snack. Grace waved Jonesy into the office and shut the door. "They didn't catch the pregnancy in time enough for an abortion, huh?"

"That's actually not up for discussion, Mercedes. You know – because of doctor patient confidentiality. Even if she broadcasts everything to the world, I would never be at liberty to speak about someone else's issues. But, if you're ready to talk about you today, that is why we're here." They both took their seats and Jonesy nodded her head. "The past couple of weeks, you've been really good about talking to me. I was glad that you opened up about the song that your friends played and about the movie that you and Sam discussed. I really enjoy our talks about your job, as well. It seems to be a wonderful outlet for you to be able to create something beautiful in a world that you see as ugly."

"Are you coming to a 'but,' soon?" Jonesy wondered.

"I wouldn't come to a 'but,' Mercedes. The rest is always up to you and you alone," she told her. However, Mercedes heard words in her head: _But, you still won't talk about the major problems, the root and heart of everything. You are talking, but not opening up. You are treating her like you've treated Sam all of these years… _

"Well, I kinda wanted to talk about high school. Lately, I've been in touch with two friends that I had in school. It's so complicated. Well, for normal people, but I know that you hear so much messed up stuff that it won't be that bad off to you. So… I had two boyfriends who were best friends, when it was my senior year in high school. Dave and Azimio…"

_ The two boys were always together and really great friends. It started as Mercedes being interested in a threesome. She had not been having sex lately. After Jesse left for college, she got into a habit of masturbating frequently, but didn't really have the personality for pursuing actual sexual partners. Azimio had been crushing on her for a while, and usually made off colored comments to her, until one day, she decided, "You know – I've been really horny, lately." His eyes widened and Dave laughed at the shock on his buddy's face. "So, if this is just another one of your jokes, Azimio, get the hell out of my face, because my pussy is in no mood to be teased by ideas!"_

_Dave took a hike and let the two talk it out. Before they knew it, Azimio and Mercedes became regular sex partners. They carried the "boyfriend-girlfriend" tags, because she really wasn't ready to be the secret sex partner again. Her first time had been enough and Jesse had not been a secret to anyone. After a few weeks, Azimio became restless. He didn't really have girlfriends and as a football player, generally had a good span of options for sex. "I mean, could we maybe bring in another girl?" He asked._

"_Sure. If we can bring in another guy, too," she said. She watched as he looked nervous about that idea. "Oh, what, Azimio? You want me to spread my legs for your fantasies, but you're not open enough to do the same?" She said._

"_Ok – I'll make you a deal. We can do the three way, but if I don't have to touch the other dude, you don't have to touch the other girl. Now, if you DECIDE to touch the other girl, I mean, I won't hold it against you, but that don't obligate me to touch the other dude."_

"_You're making this more difficult than it has to be," she told him. "But, I'll agree to it."_

_ They had a threesome with another girl. Mercedes wasn't adverse to exploring. She was curious and adventurous and hell – there was opportunity. And it was pretty fun to see how it drove Azimio crazy. Plus, she always thought that girls had very sexy features. She adored breasts, and the female ass was a spectacular treasure. Wasn't sure how she felt about the cooch, until she tried it. It was alright. It didn't make her crazy and she had to admit, she was more turned on by the taste of her own than the other girl's, but she didn't know if that was because of the girl, specifically or that she didn't care for vagina in general. She currently didn't have enough to go on and was unsure if she ever would. But, she did dig scissoring. That shit was fun and hot as hell. It was her favorite part about her girl on girl session._

_But, when it came time for the two guy three way, Azimio's ass started acting like he wanted to back out of the deal. She was pissed and they temporarily broke things off. In her upset, she sort of (okay she did) had sex with a guy named Shane Tinsley, out of rage? Disappointment? Boredom? She was unsure of why she did it. But, when Azimio came crawling back and promising to make it up to her with "all the two guy threesomes" she wanted, she couldn't turn down that damned deal. Shane was hurt that she used him and told her such, but Azimio quickly let him know that the couple had simply had a small break and that he needed to move on._

_ One thing about Azimio that Mercedes loved – he never seemed to think that her behavior was dirty. He didn't make her feel ashamed of who she was… a girl who had been hurt and now only wanted to have a girlfriend title and very regular sex. What was wrong with that? Obviously, all kinds of stuff, because she heard the whispers, all the time. Especially after Dave got involved. Who else to choose for Azimio's first threesome with another male. He was already so uncomfortable about the idea, so Mercedes wanted to make sure that he didn't feel too out of place. She wanted to try a dp. She was curious, hell – why couldn't people understand that?_

_ It started with Dave and Azimio both spoiling her with their kisses and touches. Since being with Azimio, she had become familiar with anal. They had practiced it for a couple of weeks leading up to the threesome, so that she could be more comfortable with it, and hell – they had both come to love it! Dave and Azimio had been present for each other banging other girls before and had even taken turns, before. But, they had never both gone in at the same time. In the middle of the two of them, Mercedes was in her favorite place, thus far in life. It was spectacular and only made better when she looked up to see her two guys staring at each other as they both pounded her with their own equipment rubbing together, from closeness. The looks in their eyes got her even more worked up and she gently pressed Dave's face towards her boyfriend's. It was THE HOTTEST KISS that she could ever remember seeing._

_ It grew from a kiss, to them interlocking their hands and kissing her on the neck. Azimio was in her front, Dave was in the back. They were loving on her, then, Dave's hands slid down to collect Azimio closer. She was done before they were and she slid from between them, now urging them to act upon whatever it was that she was witnessing between the two of them. Dave was ready, but Azimio was hesitant. Mercedes didn't want to push him. That wouldn't be fair and she hated when people were pressured into sex. But, she did let him know that it was so sexy when the two guys touched. Dave offered, "If you just want to take me, you can do that." Azimio leaned more towards that, and when Dave started to try to relax him with kisses and a blow job, he melted._

_ It was the most entertaining thing in the world to Mercedes. It became a new obsession of hers – guy on guy. Azimio took Dave from behind, first. Then, when it was time for them to change, Mercedes was ready to get back in. She was able to have Azimio inside of her and watch as Dave gave him the business. It was wonderful, for her. And after that she had two boyfriends and they each had a boyfriend and a girlfriend. It was too hard for any of them to choose. Well… she had a feeling that Dave wasn't nearly as into her as he was Azimio and later found out that Dave was pretty much only there FOR Azimio. All of the girls he had ever been with had been girls that they shared. _

_ Senior year had really been a blast for her! As she began to notice the connection between her two boyfriends, she began to see other people, and by see, that means have sex with. It was like… she couldn't stop herself! She barely even had sex with the two of them, after a while. It was enough for her to get off by watching them. But, for her own needs, she wanted people that she wasn't attached to. She wanted people that she didn't have to say much to the next day. She generally went outside of school to get it – to adults. Generally, she liked to hook up at music shows that she got into with her fake id, compliments of her awesome boyfriends. She tried to stay away from guys her age, especially at school. And if it was a guy that seemed to have a crush on her or something, he was automatically scratched off of the list. No attachments. Never again._

_ Maybe that was why she was drifting from the sexual stuff with her guys – because she actually loved the hell out of them both. They were her BEST FRIENDS. She believed that you should be best friends with someone if you wanted to build a real relationship with them. It occurred to her that Dave and Azimio had that kind of friendship for years, and now… she was sort of in the damned way of it. It made her feel uncomfortable. She kept them as best friends, but ventured out to being single as they ventured out to being a homosexual couple. _

Dave had been in love with his best friend, but had not had the chance to show it until Mercedes. He'd even thanked her, after she was no longer in their relationship, for making it possible. She still, to this day didn't know how she felt about that. "Over the past few years, since Dave's actually officially gay and Azimio identifies as a bisexual, sometimes, they call me up for an invite. I love those guys and our time together has always been magnificent. But, they really love me too, and they know that Finn hit me. They have been looking for him, all over town. I don't want them to get in trouble behind me," she said shaking her head.

"Have you told them that you don't want to get them in trouble?"

"I ALWAYS try to talk them after trying to play my protector, but they never listen and last time it happened, Azimio got some jail time. I felt so guilty."

"Did you force him, or provoke him, last time?" Dr. Hitchens asked.

"No, and I know what you're going to say already. But, it doesn't change how I felt or how I feel about what might happen here. Its like, some part of me really wishes that I could tell my friends. I mean, my best friend knows, and the two of them are my closest friends. When they came to check on me, after they found out that I had been hit… I wanted so bad to tell them the whole story. I never hold stuff back from them. But, I remember thinking – if I tell them what really happened, they will KILL Finn. I don't even think that I'm being melodramatic. I think that if they knew, they would beat him to death." Tears were already in her eyes. That was what she hated about therapy. She'd start talking, then she would start crying. "They are looking for him and all that they know for sure is that he broke down the door and hit me. If they knew the rest, Grace!" She folded her arms and shook her head. "And I want to let it off of my chest with them, but if they do something, I'll feel guilty."

"People are responsible for their own actions. We may use others as motivation, but we are each responsible for our decisions," Grace told her. "I know that you know that, but it never hurts to hear it again."

Mercedes shook her head and said, "I want to tell them. I just can't right now. Maybe after they've found him and done their worse and gotten it out of their systems, but I just can't put them in the position to want to hurt somebody like that."

"Do they know about the first time?" Dr. Hitchens asked her. Mercedes frowned and her eyes glazed over as she stared out into space.

_Her sex life was amazing and exciting, until her parents found her gay porn and their nosy asses read her diary. Then, she had to go to counseling. It was a joke, so she pretty much made passes at her therapist and flashed him to make him uncomfortable. It was entertaining to her, at the time. "Dr. Howell – you have NEVER had sex with any of your patients?" She asked, seductively. "You're so sexy. I know that they have tried."_

"_That would be unethical," he told her and continued with his notes, "But, if you don't want to talk to me, you don't have to. You know that I'll get paid, either way."_

"_I saw a movie once where a guy called into this radio psychiatrist to talk about being addicted to rough sex and she was as addicted as him. They started getting busy – sex on the stairs, her pouring hot wax on him," she touched her nipple, then realized and pulled her hand away. "Why can't you be like that?"_

"_You would like for me to pour hot wax on you on a set of stairs?" He asked calmly._

"_You could at least act like you like titties," she said._

"_Because you communicate better with your body than with your words? What is it that you wish to convey? That you're a slut?" He asked._

"_Excuse you?" She asked, getting angry._

"_Just wondering why is it so important for you to be seen as a sexual entity and not a person with thoughts and feelings? What is it about sex that makes you use it as your only basis of expression?" He asked._

"_It is the only thing in the world that makes me feel good and pain at the same time. Everything the hell else is just pain," she said._

"_What about the rest of your life is painful?" He wondered._

"_Haven't you met my damned parents?" She asked. _

"_Your parents hurt you?" He asked._

"_I hate our talks, Carl. You just ask questions and you never answer mine. I answer yours and you ask more. What question is it that you think that you can ask me to fix what my parents think is wrong with me? Please, ask me the question that will solve the problem of me collecting gay porn and having sex every day?"_

"_Why do you do it?" He asked. She frowned. Was he serious? How was THAT question going to solve anything? "Because, if you can tell me why you do it, maybe that will lead to what needs to be done about it."_

"_I have no control," she said._

"_Sure you do. We all have control. Take me, for instance. You tell me that I'm a very sexy man. You have shown me your breasts and your vagina," she snickered at that and blushed, slightly. "You have propositioned me for sex approximately six times per session and you talk to me about how much you love and have no regrets about having sex. Why haven't I had sex with you?" He asked._

"_Because you aren't attracted to me. You can get any damned woman that you want," she said._

"_I haven't had sex with you because you are an underage girl and you are my patient. It would be illegal on one level and unethical on another," he said. "So, even though you are a wonderfully sexy young lady and the things you say and do make it very difficult to resist you, I have to exercise control, because if I don't – I am nothing more than an animal," he said._

"_You should have never told me that you think that I'm sexy, Carl! You'll NEVER make it out of a session without being seduced," she said, smiling._

"_I don't make it out of one without being seduced, now. But, what did you mean by you have no control?" He asked._

"_I don't like the way that you never fall for my deflection," she said, glaring at him. He simply stared back at her and she sighed and told him, "I gave myself to a man who was in a position of power over me. I did make the choice to do it, but even if I had turned him down and hadn't fallen for him, what if he had ruined my future or something? I mean, even though I chose to let him have me, I still feel like he had the control over me, regardless. Then, I got pregnant and my parents made me have an abortion. It's like nothing that I do in life seems to be my choice! Maybe it's because I'm young. (I turn 18 next month, by the way, so at least we'll have the illegal thing out of the way.)" _

_He smiled and shook his head at her comment, as she kept talking, "But, it just feels like the only time I have control. The only time that I have a handle on things is when I am having sex… and I love that power. I love my right to choose a partner, to decide whether or not I want to suck someone off today or just give a hand job. That… and it feels phenomenal to fuck!" She covered her mouth at her language, but continued, "It's like I have sensations in my body that I just can't describe or ever get tired of. It's like it's in my blood, in my soul, burning from deep within me and pouring over me, all at the same time…" Mercedes looked down. She hadn't realized that she was touching herself, but her hand was there, between her legs and her fingers were moving. "I have no control!" She repeated._

_ Her doctor finally got up from his desk and he took her hand from between her thighs and held it away from her. She frowned as he held both of her hands, for her not to touch herself. She began to writhe in her seat and shake her head. "Is this legal? Can you restrain me?" She asked._

"_This is to keep you from hurting yourself," he said. "Mercedes, it isn't healthy or normal for a person to not realize or not feel empowered enough to prevent themselves from masturbation." She was not hearing him. There was something about the way that he was restraining her that made her even hotter than before and all she wanted was this man inside of her, right then. She leaned forward and began to rub her face against his crotch. He was hard, so she smiled. So he DID find her attractive. He backed away, not letting go of her, but trying to avoid the contact that her face was making with his genitals. "Mercedes, what you are doing right now is lashing out. You feel like you don't have control, so you don't care who gets hurt in your path, as long as you get what you want," he said._

_She paused and looked up at him. He rushed over to the door and opened it. "You need to leave," he told her. "Hopefully, next time, you can exercise some control."_

"_My session isn't over," she said, holding her hands together tightly and nervously._

"_I'll refer you to another doctor. If you are going to behave the way that you are behaving, __**I**__ can't help you. I'll contact your parents to let them know about the changes," he said._

"_Once again, I lose control over myself," she said._

"_You had the choice, Mercedes. You could have sat in silence. You could have actually spoken to me about your issues. Instead, you chose to be uncooperative and destructive. This is our third and final session. I'm sorry, but I can't be professional while you do the things that you are doing in this office."_

_ Her parents were embarrassed of what they were told by her doctor, but they took the recommendation for her to see Dr. David Martinez. He was gay, so they thought that would be a deterrent to what they called her "sick and shameful behavior," but hell – even though she had already determined that she wasn't going to give this guy the hell that she gave poor Dr. Howell (with his sexy self), she was more drawn to gay men than she was straight ones! And Dr. Martinez was hot as hell with some beautiful teeth! However, she didn't have more than three sessions with him, either._

_When he told her parents that he thought that she was just a girl who felt like she had no way of expressing herself and that her curiosity about sex was normal… they quickly decided to bring her to another doctor. Mercedes actually liked Dr. Martinez and to be honest, in the three weeks that she saw him, with just having someone to talk to about these things, she had sort of calmed down a bit. She figured that she could still talk to Azimio and Dave – but they pretty much always suggested that she have sex to help herself feel better. _

_ She was on the verge of graduating. The year was pretty much over. Really, she didn't have any future plans, but the school year was at its end and she was ready to be done with it, but she needed to talk through much of her stress and anxiety, too. So, she went to Dr. Goolsby. She thought he was just the sexiest thing! She didn't expect to have the kind of sessions she had with Dr. Martinez with this man. She flirted, as was her way. He looked over her files and told her, "You seduced one of your earlier doctors."_

"_I was just playing around with him," she lied._

"_Your last doctor seemed to think that you have no really serious issues and that you just need to talk some things out."_

"_I really liked him. But, my parents didn't. They wanted someone to tell them that I am a dirty tramp who needs medication to keep my ultrahyper pussy in check," she said. To her surprised, he laughed and when he did, his eyes twinkled. "Just so you know, Dusty, I AM legal," she said, with a wink. He stopped laughing and stared at her. "Sorry. Damn, I was just picking," she told him._

"_I thought that I was going to be seduced," he said, sort of pouting. Why the hell was he so adorable?_

"_Well, you look as good as dinner, dessert and drinks, so if you keep up all this damned hotness that is you flirting back with me, you just might." She licked her lips and looked him over. "Does it say in my file that I showed my anatomy to another doctor? Because I have been known to do that with some sexy folks, fyi."_

"_Noted," he said and winked back at her. Then, he got into it, "So, you have a very flirtatious and playfully sexy imagination. It is not a terrible thing to think about or even to joke around about sex, unless of course you're on a job or something where you can get sued for sexual harassment, like I could if I continue flirting with my lovely patient."_

"_I wouldn't turn you in, Dr, Goolsby. Hell, I didn't even turn in the guy that I had sex with and knocked me up, from school," she said._

"_Your parents knew about that kid," he said, referring to his notes._

"_No… they knew about a kid that I started sleeping with to cover for my adult boyfriend, so he wouldn't get in trouble. If I had known that it was going to be like that, I would have told everyone… hell… I never even would have let him come anywhere near me. I'm one of those people who can never figure out exactly who I'm dealing with, because by the time I've finished overanalyzing them, the damage is already done. It's easier to just not get attached to anybody. Still get that make my body quiver and my coochie shiver feeling, but not with any additional accessories…" She and Dr. Goolsby ended up talking for a few hours. He had a clear afternoon, and she didn't have anywhere to be, either._

_ She told him about her fantasies, about loving gay gang bang movies, scissoring with girls and double penetration from her two closest friends. "I just don't see how loving something that doesn't hurt anybody makes me such a bad person. My parents act like I am screwing people in front of the church! I go out to places that people don't know me. I use protection. It's always consensual. Even though I would love to make a movie, I never let myself get caught on tape or camera. I just want to be able to look back at my life and not have to regret the things that I chose to do with my body. I love my body and I please it."_

"_I love your body and I'd please it, if I could, too. So, I can't blame you there," he said. _

_She laughed, then stared at him. "I can't tell if you're actually flirting with me, or if this is some new damned shrink trickery to get me to be more open with you about my baggage."_

"_What difference does it make, if it helps you?" He asked. She shrugged. As a nice gesture, at the end of their meeting, he scheduled her for an appointment at a time where he would have a free afternoon, again… which meant that they could have hours of time to talk again. She really loved talking to him, and looking at him, while she did it. The flirting didn't hurt that desire, either._

_They repeated this action two more times and during the last session, things shifted. She and Dustin began to kiss and she felt that burning ache that she loved and hated, all at once. Then, she thought about all of the problems with this situation – he was her doctor, she was fighting an addiction, this was supposed to be therapy… "No, we shouldn't," she said._

"_Why shouldn't we, Mercedes? We're both adults. You LOVE sex more than anything in the world. Admit it. I'm handsome, I'm good looking and I'm easy on the eyes. Also, I'm gorgeous… and you want me as much as I want you. Besides, you never see a doctor more than three times. By tomorrow, you'll be moving on to another and throwing yourself at him or her." She gasped and moved to leave. "Mercedes," he said and grabbed her wrist to pull her back._

"_Let go of me," she said, sternly. Instead he pushed her towards his desk and set her on top of it. He slid his hands up her thighs and she moaned. He smiled and moved forward to kiss her again. His hands searched beneath her dress and removed her panties. "Dustin, don't…" she said as she let him kiss her. He spent some time working on coaxing her, heating her up. He knew that if he got her to a certain point, "no" would leave her vocabulary. But, she continued to resist. Even as she watched him pull it out and come towards her with it. "This isn't a good idea. This isn't what I want," she said, with a shivering voice that she didn't even recognize. She couldn't remember the last time that she actually didn't want sex, but everything about this seemed wrong. _

_He was hot and she loved that he wanted her… but what would that mean about the progress that she had been making? She had gone sexless for several weeks. Masturbation would always be around, probably, but she had not been behaving the same. She actually credited her sort of friendship with her fun psychiatrist as a factor. This might undo that. It might undo her. "Isn't this unethical?" She asked._

"_You're so gorgeous when you play coy," he said and pulled her closer to his body._

"_I'm not playing. For real. You need to stop and I need to go…" He kissed her on the neck, making her wet and making her defenses feel useless. She felt him sliding into her, kissing her softly, like they were making love or something. She pulled away, but he pulled her closer and thrust more vigorously. _

_She stared off into space as she wrapped her arms around him and moaned in pleasure, confused of what was happening… She didn't know if this was consensual or not. Lines had been crossed in her methods. Lines had been blurred. So, to be sure that she was not consenting. To make sure that he understood that she actually meant no and wasn't just saying something, she began to try to push him away and scream. Dustin covered her mouth and told her to stop foolin around. She struggled to get away from him. It wasn't working. Oh shit… this was actually happening to her.. she was being attacked!_

Mercedes took a deep breath. "I could write a book on the ass whipping that Azimio gave him, alone. He lost his license for having sex with a patient, but nobody believed that I was raped, not even my own parents. Everybody assumed that like every other time – I wanted to have sex with this person. It was another time that I didn't have control over my body. The worse thing about it was that somewhere in my FUCKED UP head, I enjoyed the way that he felt. I hated that I had some pleasure mixed in there with all of the fear and anger and hate."

She wasn't crying, right now. "I had to go to another psychiatrist. I decided that it had to be a woman. I wasn't going to talk to another man about any of this. I didn't want to talk to another man about anything personal, ever again. Aside from Dave and Azimio, I promised myself then and there that I wouldn't talk to another man about stuff that meant anything to me, especially my personal business – my desires and wishes and fantasies and problems… I went to the doctor and got these tests done. I filed a police report. I got a lawyer. Everyone might as well have laughed at me, all along the way, until my mom convinced me to just give it up and move on, while I still had some dignity – like I actually had some damned dignity left."

Grace's eyes betrayed the rest of her face. The woman was a professional and wonderful at her job. Hearing these stories _always _hurt, but she always kept a strong, stoic face, except for the eyes. Her eyes couldn't lie. They couldn't hide the pain she felt for Mercedes. "What did you do?" She asked.

Mercedes chuckled and said, "I dropped the charges. I moved out of my parents' house and went to live with Azimio's family. It was hard, but I was determined to finish the school year, even with everybody talking about me, behind my back. Dave and Azimio frequently defended me. His parents believed me. They believed me because he'd believed me enough to fight for me. My parents thought so little of me to not believe me when I was in tears and begging them to do something about what had been done to me. But the Addams took me in and helped me out. I worked in the cosmetics section at the pharmacy and tried to give them a little money each paycheck. They wouldn't even accept it."

Mercedes sighed and said, "If I let Dave and Azimio know that I let something like this happen to me a second damned time, after they were the only ones in my personal life who saw how hard it was for me to get over it the first time…" She shook her head, "I can't do that to them."

Unique handed the book to Kurt and said, "Now, if the two of you wish to get together on the details, that's fine by me. I have things to do, today!" She grabbed her shawl and threw it around her shoulders. "Lock up!" She called out to her assistant. The young lady nodded as Unique went outside, greeting her male friend with a small kiss and getting into the car with him.

Mercedes sighed and said, "I don't know how you feel about me borrowing your stuff, but that's probably the easiest way for me to come up with schemes. I can hand you something of mine as collateral or something."

"Oh, Jonesy… things don't have to be that way between us. I trust you completely with the book." He sighed and looked at the floor, "I can walk you to your car so that Mack can lock the studio up and head out."

"That's fine," Mercedes said.

As they headed out, Kurt told her, "I know that things have been awkward with the two of us, but I really want us to be friends, Jonesy. The short period of time that we spent together was so much fun and you're such a great person. I'm so sorry that the thing that happened between you and Finn has us distanced the way that we are."

"There are a lot of things about me that people don't know, Kurt. There are things that I probably couldn't get you understand. Trust me when I say that you aren't the only person that I'm distanced from, right now. And until I can get a handle on some things in my life, it's just going to have to be this way," she said, sadly.

"Well, I can understand that, well enough. But, Blaine and I owe you dinner. I want you and Sam to come over. Even if you have things that you're sorting through, I want us to try to sort through our friendship, as well. Besides, it will be a pleasant way for us to work on this project together and possibly fix what Finn's fuck up did to the budding friendship that we had began."

"Kurt…"

"I just want to make the two of you some chicken and fish and elegant sides, work on this amazing project the Unique has given us and sip wine with my honey," Kurt said.

Mercedes smiled slightly. It was a business dinner, but she had to admit, she would feel better with Sam there with her. "Sure, Kurt."

"Great. My address is on the inside of my book. You and Sam can come over tonight at 8 and I assure you, you will not run into Finn."

"I better not. I can't be held responsible for mine nor Sam's reactions if we see that fucker," she said and got into her car. Kurt sighed and made his way to his vehicle. Dinner might not be too comfortable, but he really needed to speak with both Jonesy and Sam. He needed to properly apologize for taking Finn's side, and he needed to see if they had any advice on how to get him away from Rachel.


	10. Chapter 10

_If y'all aren't getting replies lately, it's because I have a lot going on. I tried to catch up with reviews and PMs, but it's very difficult right now, because of the amount of reading and writing. Know that I still care about your words and I love you for the feedback even when I don't get around to responding. _

**Don't Make Me Over 10**

Rachel sat in her car, with her head resting on the steering wheel, taking deep breaths. When she left her fathers' house, she had nowhere else to go but home… where she had Finn staying. He had been something else, lately. At first, she just wanted him to stop hurting. When she met him, she instantly felt chemistry between them and her heart convinced her that things could become great between them. But, the closer she got to him, the more she noticed how caught up on his ex he was. That woman, Mercedes would be a thorn in her side, as far as she was concerned and to be honest, she was relieved when they had their fight and Finn was forbidden to go anywhere near her. The entire situation was toxic, if you asked Rachel.

She hardly even cared that he had hit Mercedes, because she believed that he was drunk and that she had provoked him and he made a _mistake. _Rachel was even willing to take that horrific hit to the face from Mercedes' new boyfriend, if that meant that now Finn could be all hers and that she wouldn't have to compete with the ghost of his past, anymore. But, now she realized… it wasn't worth it. _He _wasn't worth _this, _she thought as she looked up into the rearview mirror at the black eye that she had snuck into her dads' home while they were out of town to steal some of their stage makeup to cover up… because she had already ran out of all that she had and her order would nto be in for a few days.

Sam didn't really care to go to Blaine and Kurt's for anything. When he thought about them, he basically thought about the people that interrupted and got in the way of him letting out all of his frustrations on Finn's smug ass face. But, Jonesy made it sound like it was a pretty big deal to her to get together with Kurt on this business thing and she didn't want to go alone, especially since Kurt invited both of them. Moral support… He would have to keep reminding himself that he was there for moral support.

Jonesy was in a weird mood, but Sam noticed that she was generally feeling some kind of way on the days that she had therapy sessions. He found out that she was going some roundabout way, but she never really said anything about it, aside from when he wanted to bring her to breakfast one day and she said, "I have therapy on Thursdays." Today, as touched up her makeup, after her shower and changed clothes, she seemed extremely tense. He didn't want to push, but he had to know, "Are you _really_ alright with this?" Because, if being around those guys was going to do something emotional to her, he couldn't give a damn about the assignment or how Unique would feel about it, he was not going to let her do it to herself.

"Yeah. I'm just anxious. I keep wondering what if this is the night that I may run into Finn? I haven't had to see him, at all. I don't know where he's been and I don't care, but I don't want to have to see him. God, the way that I responded when I saw Dustin again…" She shook her head.

"Who is Dustin?" Sam wondered. She looked at him like she was shocked that he mentioned the name.

"Did I say something about that?" She wondered. He nodded and she let out a sigh. "Well, I didn't mean to, and I don't want to talk about it. I've done enough talking about stuff that I'd rather not talk about, today." They rode in silence, allowing the radio to play stuff that neither of them was listening to.

When they got to the address, Sam helped Jonesy out of his truck and she took his hand and squeezed it, walking with him to the entrance, still holding on. Sam took a deep breath and prepared himself for this night as she knocked on the door, with her free hand. Her small hand was shaking and he wanted like hell to pull her back to the truck and tell her it was for the best, but his knees were weak and he stomach turned just thinking about how hurt she would be if he didn't trust her to be able to hold up. Instead, he stroked her hand with his thumb and paused only when she turned to stare at him. He couldn't read her expression and he didn't know how to feel about it.

Blaine opened the door and welcomed the two of them inside. Their hands were still connected as Jonesy gave Blaine a greeting hug, then repeated one for Kurt, as he came to the door with a couple of glasses of wine. She finally let go of Sam's hand to accept hers, and Sam frowned as he did the same. For a brief moment, they were more connected than they had been in several weeks and he missed that feeling, already. Blaine shut the door and Kurt led their guests into his workroom. "Sam, if you and Blaine would like, you two can go have guy time in the living room, or whatever."

"No, thank you. I'm sticking around Jonesy," Sam said and lifted his glass to her, then took a drink.

Kurt offered, "Dinner should be ready shortly, then."

Jonesy handed the book to Kurt and said, "I am not going to lie to you, I haven't started on any of my ideas yet, but I know that I have several."

"No problem, Honey. There are so many possibilities, if I were you; I probably wouldn't even know where to start."

"No… _You _don't know where to start. But, if you were _me_, you'd be me, then you _would _know where to start – because I do, in fact. Unique likes animal prints. This has been proven by make up that I have designed for her, already. She likes the fierceness, but she likes the delicate stuff, too. When I think of her, I think of fire and ice, raging towards each other. So, when I design her makeup, I generally take two things that do not seem to go together and I put them together and I MAKE you think that they should have been together all along."

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like yellow and green polka dots with black and silver zebra print."

"You're insane," Kurt said, with a look of horror on his face.

Jonesy balled up her fist and told him, "Watch what you call me!" She threatened through her teeth. Sam took a step forward, knowing that look all too well. Every now and then, Jonesy would hit a bitch. Calling her crazy or any equivalent generally was a switch for her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. That was mean. You're right. But, I can't see that combination working in my head."

She took a deep breath and said, "No, you can't, because you are you and you aren't me." She began to pull some supplies out of her bag and set them up on his drafting table. Sam leaned against the doorpost and watched her work on a rough sketch of whatever she was trying to describe to Kurt.

"Oh dear!" Kurt said, pleasantly shocked as he looked on. "That is going to work wonders with this," he said and set one of his designs on the table.

"Actually, I had it in mind for this one," she told him, flipping through his book to show him another one.

"Yes, that's even better!"

Blaine walked through the door and sat on a soft chair in the corner. "You're welcome to enter, Sam," he said. Sam frowned, but entered the room, as well and had a seat for himself. Jonesy and Kurt mostly talked about ideas, setting outfit sketches on the table and discussing her plans for the makeup. Some of them, she had multiple plans and some, she only had one. But, she honestly had at least one for each outfit. After a while, Kurt excused himself, rushed to the kitchen and called out to Blaine.

When they left, Sam asked her, "How are you handling things?"

"Well. We're working and it's flowing." She nodded her head and smiled at him. Within a few moments, they were being escorted to the dinner table where a nice, very delicate looking meal was set up. They began to eat and talk, casually. Kurt and Blaine both apologized to Sam for interfering when he and Finn fought…

"Wasn't really a fight and I'm not really here to talk about Finn, at all," Sam said and raised an eyebrow at them before giving Jonesy a reassuring look. She smiled, slightly. He preferred that no one brought that up. He didn't know what words could set Jonesy off and he could not say with certainty how he might handle an assault on her still fresh wounds.

Kurt cleared his throat and said, "I was wrong to side with Finn. I mean, I love him, don't get me wrong, but I think that he's seriously in need of help." Sam tapped his foot and stared Kurt down, as he continued. "I thought that he only hit you as a once in a lifetime drunken mistake, but I think that he's hurting Rachel." Blaine looked down at the table, but Jonesy stared at Kurt, waiting to hear more. "She's harder to catch up with these days. When I see her, she looks tired and I've found bruises around her wrists and her throat. I caught her one morning with a busted lip and today, when I saw her, she had a black eye. She took away my spare key to her apartment." Kurt's eyes were welling with tears.

"Sounds messed up," Sam said.

"I don't know how to get her away from him! What do I do? I know that she's not fighting him back. She doesn't have a fighting bone in her body!" Kurt cried.

"Did you tell her to leave him?" Mercedes asked, in a low voice.

"Yes, of course. I insisted that she leave him and she insisted that I was misunderstanding what was happening," he admitted.

Mercedes shook her head and said, "If she doesn't want to do anything about it, there is nothing that anyone else can do, either. I'm sorry about your friend, but I don't know what you think I can tell you about her situation."

"Well, when you were with Finn, was he like this?" Kurt asked.

"I wasn't with Finn," she said.

"Finn has been talking about you for months!" Kurt said.

"We have to go," Mercedes said and went to collect her things. Sam dropped his fork and followed her to the workroom to help her calm down as she packed things up. Her bottom lip was quivering but she refused to cry. Crying would have shown her weakness and she was not about to do that before Kurt nor Blaine. Sam reached out towards her and touched her hand, and she shook her head. His touch was going to undo her. He pulled back and she rushed passed the hosting couple, darting towards the door.

"Mercedes, I just need help…" Kurt attempted, but Sam lifted a hand to halt him.

"You tried, she declined. Leave her be, or you'll have me to deal with," Sam warned and went outside to the truck. Mercedes was leaning against it, and when he came to her door to open it, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "You can let it out, with me," he promised her. God, she wanted to believe that SO badly. She wanted to believe that she could talk to Sam and trust him not to abuse what she gave him… But, she thought of Dustin. She thought of Finn.

"I was _asking_ to get raped," she said.

"No!" Sam told her and pulled her into his arms. She cried against him and shook. He could hardly stand it. He missed his precious, joyful, jubilant Jonesy with her whimsical attitude and bubbly personality. He wanted her back, so much! He wanted her to stop hurting.

"I did. I did. I made Finn the way he is. It's like I couldn't stop the momentum. I perpetuated a cycle…"

"What?" Sam asked, having no idea what she was talking about.

She pulled away from him and stared at the pendant on his necklace of a bull (Sam was a Taurus. She got him that necklace and as far as she knew, he never took it off, and he'd woven some of her hair in the threads of the necklace itself – which was one of the first times that she began to worry about their relationship, even after Tina assured her that Sam was "just like that."

"Finn wasn't abusive. Finn was strange and he was a bit dumb, but he was a safe guy. That was why I never minded hanging out with him, solo. And he was cushiony… made for cuddling and stuff. He was like a tall ass teddy bear. We went from hanging and cuddling to fucking to…" She sighed and said, "Finn and me played rape games. I started doing it a few months after I dropped the charges on one of my shrinks… who… who…" she sighed and choked out, "Who raped me." She couldn't bring herself to look up at Sam's face. She could only image the horror and disgust that must be evident on his face, and just the thought of it crushed her heart.

She saw his shoulders shaking and she reflexively glanced up and saw tears streaming down his face. So far, Sam did a pretty good job of holding that in, but now – he just couldn't. "Jonesy… I…" He shook his head and said, "I am so sorry that happened to you, but it wasn't your fault. It wasn't your fault when your shrink did it and even if you and Finn played games or whatever every single day for the past ten years, it wasn't your fault when he did it, either."

"But, why does it keep happening, then?"

"Because monsters live amongst us," Sam said. She exploded into a new rush of tears and fell forward on his chest. They were there for a while longer. Sam had to pull himself together. His reaction couldn't have helped her, at all. But, now so much made since to him! No wonder he was finding out how secretive she had been with him for the duration of their friendship. Hell, it was no wonder that she was ever able to even function as a person. "You don't have to put your mask back on, Jones. You can crush it beneath your feet and you might as well get used to me being on this journey with you, because I am never leaving you alone and I will never let you get hurt again."

They didn't talk more about it. Jonesy didn't even know how to handle the subject. It was a bit of a relief that now Sam knew more about her, but it was also frightening and she didn't want to push it any further. Then, she was sick for a couple of days, but she assured Unique over the phone that she would still work on her assignment, at home and she went into the studio during her sick time to do her diva's face for the day. "Oooh, Lawd! Honey. Cupcake. Muffin… PLEASE, tell me that whatever it is that has you looking that way is not contagious?" Unique asked when Jonesy reached her chair.

"I don't know. Sam is making me go see a doctor if I'm not better in a couple more days. I think that old age is just getting tired of my drink habits. I knocked back a couple after I left Kurt's last night. They both came back up with that lovely meal that I had. Last time I drank, I got really sick, then, too." She shook her head, "But, as you can see – I came prepared to make you glorious." Jonesy lifted her kit into the air and Unique scoffed. "Of course by make you glorious, I meant defy perfection with my flawless makeup on your already fabulous self."

"That's _exactly _what the hell you meant," Unique told her. "Hmm, so Sam's making you go see a doctor. In the meantime, what are you taking?"

"Everything that I've tried to take has come up. So, I'm just trying to stay hydrated, water, pedialyte, cranberry juice, ginger ale to settle my belly, and only eating crackers… well… I went for a cracker, but it was disgusting as hell, so I ate a biscuit, instead."

"Pregnant ass," Unique said and shook her head. Mercedes dropped her entire makeup kit and it crashed to the floor. Both of the women jumped and Unique folded her arms.

"Don't worry, Unique. Damn, calm down. I've dropped this thing more times than I've held it. She reached for the kit and opened it. Mostly everything was still tucked into place. "I got a sturdy one because of the clumsy nature of my fingers." When she began to apply Unique's makeup, she could not shake that comment from her head.

Unique was going on and on talking about how Jeremiah was cute and all, but he wasn't out of the closet and she couldn't get with somebody who couldn't be themselves. She was going on about how Gavroche was perfectly happy with himself, but "not cute for nothing in the whole gay world," however, she could deal with it, because he had style. She was going on about how if she was going to get the entire package, she would go for Sebastian, "But, he likes guys like Blaine. He wouldn't even be ready for this… Unique turned and looked at Jonesy, with a lifted arched eyebrow, "Sweet stuff?"

Mercedes looked down and saw that she had dropped her brush. "Sorry. I got a bit lightheaded. All I ate all day was a biscuit."

"You need to get some prenatal vitamins, Girl. I should have some." Unique reached into her purse and gave her friend a bottle, decked out in glitter and feathers. When Jonesy threw her a confused look, she explained, "Helps the fingernails to grow long and strong."

"I don't need prenatal vitamins, Unique," Mercedes told her.

"Yes you do. Sam's gonna be pissed if your baby comes out looking like Howard the Duck, because you didn't let him form right, with some proper nutrients."

"Sam loves Howard the Duck," Mercedes said, not commenting on the fact that if she was pregnant, it wasn't Sam's, the fact that she and Sam weren't together, nor the fact that she was not here for any of the snarky comments. "And Sam loves kids. He'd love a kid that came out looking like Mac from Mac and Me."

"I don't even know what the hell that is, and I have never seen Howard the Duck, beyond the back of the DVD cover, when I picked it up in the $2 movie bin, and threw that shit all the way back in," Unique said… "But, I somehow knew that the two of you probably saw some shit like that. You two are nerd-credulous." Mercedes smiled. "No, no – not a compliment."

"Well, I took it as one," Mercedes said.

"Well, now take one of these vitamins," Unique said.

"I don't need…"

"Bitch, even if you aren't pregnant - It's a vitamin. It can't hurt. Here, you can have some of my drink. Don't worry, I haven't sucked any dick today… which is why I'm so flustered. It's 10 am. The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup. It's having a good dick sucking contest between you and the lucky man that got to spend the night. But, nobody spent the night, last night and now, I'm rambling, yet again. I'll have to call somebody to help me ease my tension," Unique said.

"One of the last things that I'd be worried about is secondhand dick-sucking germs," Jonesy said, talking the vitamin. "I'm like an Olympic gold medalist in that sport."

"Baby, should _I _be worried about these secondhand germs from you today, then?" Unique asked.

"Naw… I haven't been doing anything like that. But back in the day, you better ask somebody. I could do martathons."

"You don't say," Unique egged her on.

"Didn't I tell you about the time that I was at a college frat party and one of these sisters was hazing for a sorority and was supposed to suck off all these frat dudes and I volunteered to take her hazing for her?"

"You weren't even trying to get in the sorority?" Unique asked.

"I didn't even go to the school," Jonesy said. They both began laughing and after a moment, Mercedes paused and held her abs. "Girl, let me hurry up and finish your makeup, so I can go my sick ass home."

"Yes, and when you get there; don't come back until you no longer look like a peasant. How dare you set foot in my studio in some yoga pants?" Jonesy could not help but to laugh again, but damn it if she didn't feel terrible… and damn it if she wasn't now paranoid as hell.

The next day, Unique told her that she could do her own makeup, but that she owed her lunch, with extra dessert. That was no big deal for Jonesy. She got up in the middle of the night with hunger pains, from starving herself from fear of vomiting and ended up binge eating everything left in the fridge – which was half a jar of almond butter – which she destroyed at the ends of some sticks of celery, with some raspberry jam, a couple of slices of cake and half of a leftovers plate from breakfast from Mrs. Evans – chicken fried chicken with sausage gravy, the other biscuit that she hadn't eaten for breakfast, and scrambled eggs. She poured syrup on everything, then realized that there were Eggos in the freezer. Yup – that was good and she undid the strings on her yoga pants, feeling good to go.

What was on TV? She went for her phone to check the listings online and glanced into Sam's room to see that he wasn't there. She checked the time – 3:45 am… Sam must have been rocking out, she presumed. What day of the week was it? She checked her phone – now Tuesday. Sam had sent her a text: _**I ran into an old friend and went out… Not really sure when/if I'll be home, but if you need me for ANY reason, call me and I will be there for you. There's half a pizza in the oven, if you get hungry. **__An old friend? _Obviously, Sam had a late night date – as she generally referred to booty calls. It had been a while, unless she simply had not known or had not being paying much attention.

She was entering into her seventh week since that faithless night and she could not remember Sam hooking up with anyone within that time. "Well, good for him," she said, but quickly frowned. She was lying to herself. She didn't want Sam out with some "old friend," any more than she wanted to go see a doctor and possibly receive some of the worse news that she might have to endure. She had not had a cycle – but hell, she had been sexually assaulted, lost someone she considered a friend, gone through an emotional rollercoaster with her best friend and in grievous counseling sessions – she presumed it was all stress until Unique's comment.

Things did not get any better as she headed for the couch and noticed that she had a missed call from Finn. She froze. She had not expected to see such a thing and he had not attempted to reach out to her since everything happened that night. She had no idea what happened, but somewhere between seeing that alert for a missed call and the couch, she didn't make it… She had no idea how long she had been sprawled out on the floor when she woke up. The hell? Mercedes sat up and looked around. Her phone had slid across the floor and her lips felt busted. Damn. She'd passed out. Then, she remembered the last thing that she saw before doing so. Finn had called. Shivering and trying not to cry, she crawled over to her phone and texted him: **I am warning you – NEVER call me again! **She texted and sat, in that spot, on the floor, unable to move and unable to breathe… Shit – first she fainted, now she was pretty sure that she was having a panic attack. She tried to text Sam, but the phone fumbled out of her hands.

Who the hell was she fooling with that warning? If Finn wanted to do something to her, it was already a proven fact that she couldn't so a thing about it. With shaking, labored breaths and tremors rushing through her from the core out, she finally dialed Sam's phone number. He answered, obviously groggy from sleep and she could hardly formulate words. "Ffff…ffff….ffff…"

"Jonesy?" He said, suddenly alert. "What's up? You okay?" He asked, shuffling around, sounding concerned.

"Finnnnnn….." She mumbled and just shivered, holding the phone, ridiculously surprised and embarrassed at how terrified it made her to even think of Finn coming anywhere near her, now.

"Is he there? I'm on my way!" Sam said.

"He's not… He… he… called and I fainted, and now, now, now, now…" She couldn't say anything else. She was seriously trying, but now was the only word that her mouth would mutter.

"Stay on the phone with me, Jonesy. I'm on my way. I am getting in my truck, right now and I'm headed home. It's okay, alright? Just go into your happy room and wait for me."

"C-c-c-c- can't… move," she said, shivering, then her phone buzzed, which made her jump and she looked at it to see a text from Finn: **What the hell are you talking about, Dolphin. I have called you in weeks. That's a violation and you need to stop trying to bait me, or you'll succeed. **She yelped and leaned back against the wall, shaking vigorously.

"I'll be there, Jonesy. I'm coming, okay?" Sam began to sing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, from Monty Python's The Life of Brian to her and she calmed her breathing and her shaking was not as bad. As he continued singing in the comical British accent, she eventually felt calm. When had this happened? When had Sam become able to do such a thing for her? Maybe, he always was this soothing factor in her life, and she simply never knew it. Maybe it was because she had never given him the chance. She heard the door open and she got up, finally able to move and saw Sam, partially dressed and holding his phone to his ears, disheveled hair and scratches down his chest. She couldn't care less. She had never been happier to see him and rushed right to him for a hug. "Jonesy, you okay?"

She looked up at him and nodded, still holding on to him, for dear life. "I am now," she said. He pulled her close against him and cradled her. Sam sighed and his heart could finally slow down, now that he saw that she was fine. What the hell was he thinking leaving her? She had been doing better, but she had been shaken up every since dinner the other night. He wouldn't make that mistake again. He told her that he was going to look after her, and he would never break that promise.


	11. Chapter 11

_I hope that I didn't confuse too many people with the last chapter. I was trying to be clever in how I wrote it and I may have failed at that or been unclear or something?_

_And I don't often write an author's notes section specifically to one person, but sometimes there are those not signed in that I can't reply to and I have the need to reply to, so here we are… _

_For my guest that was confused last chapter: Finn is hitting Rachel. Sam was at an old friend's house and the scratches on his chest would have been from sex clawing. I'll get to the texting business with Finn and such in this chapter. Dustin is the first man that attacked Mercedes, who was also her psychiatrist at the time. Thank you so much for continuing to read, even if I was confusing in my delivery. Hopefully, I'll be clearer. I appreciate all feedback and I am willing to answer most questions…_

_With that said, to other some of the other readers: If you have a problem with how I am writing this, PLEASE try to RESPECTFULLY ask your questions, free of cussing at me or accusing me of things or bossing me into the direction that you believe that I should go with the story arch._

_This material is offsetting enough and I just would appreciate readers coming to me in the same way that I come to y'all – with consideration and respect. Okay? Thanks._

**Don't Make Me Over 11**

Sam wasn't about to play any games, with anybody. He knocked on Kurt's door, pounding against it hard as he could, with his palm, nonstop until Blaine opened the door, with a mass of curls all over his head. "Sam?" He said.

"Where the hell is Finn?" He asked.

"I don't know. What is this about?" Blaine asked as Kurt approached, in a robe, with some stuff on his face and a sleeping mask in his hand.

"Where does that Rachel chick live?" Sam asked.

"Sam, what happened?" Kurt asked, rushing to the door.

Sam's response was to grab Kurt by the collar and repeat, "Where does she live?" Kurt began to spot out an area of town and an address as Blaine removed Sam's hold from him. Sam stormed away and Blaine and Kurt hugged each other tightly. Sam got into his truck. He had convinced Mercedes to take something to help her sleep and as soon as she went to sleep, he left her. If those dudes called Finn and tipped him off, oh well… he was going to get up in that ass tonight, if he had to ride all around Lima to find him and if he did have to do that, that ass was as good as dead.

His hand pounded on the door and he heard some talking on the inside and some shuffling around. "FINN!" He yelled and began to kick the door. Hell, Finn had kicked in _his _door not too long ago. The door opened while he was kicking it and Rachel squealed and got out of his way. "You better not interfere, this time, lady!" Sam warned her, pointing a finger at her. He noticed right away that her eyes was bruised. That SORRY motherfucker! "FINN!" He yelled and went to find him.

Finn hid and tried to rush out of the door while Sam was searching, but Sam caught him and kicked him in the back to knock him down. The fight was on. Finn was not a small man and even though he was all coward, he wasn't that weak, either. They were fighting like a couple of raging beasts. Rachel thought that she should call the police, but she was temporarily in shock. She called the police to tell them that a man had broken in and was beating up her boyfriend, then she warned Sam, "I've called the police!"

Sam was choking Finn when she said it, but he stood up, kicked him, stomped him and yelled at him, "I let you live for the last damned time. I swear before GOD that if you try to contact her again, I ain't letting you go. I will drag you behind my damned truck and throw you in the lake!" He kicked him again and spit on him, then pointed at Rachel and said, "And you, you need to get him out of your life, before you end up in a damned coffin. Your eye's all busted and such. He doesn't give a shit about you or anybody else!" Sam kicked him again and left. He sped home, washed up and found Mercedes curled up in his bed.

He sighed and climbed in with her, wrapped his arms around her and cradled her close to himself. He fell to sleep, exhausted from a night of wild sex, extreme emotional turmoil and a rough and rowdy fight. He figured that he would wake up before her, but the next day, when he did wake up, she was already out of his bed and he smelled breakfast.

Sam headed into the kitchen, shirtless, and settled at the table. "Chicken and waffles? Score!" He cheered and she jumped at the sound of his voice.

"I was just about to wake you. Sorry for worrying you last night. I could tell from how you looked when you came in that you had been out on a late night date and I made you breakfast as a peace offering for getting in the way of what would have probably been a good morning cuddlefuck."

"I didn't even think twice about it," he said with a shrug… which meant that he probably had gotten or would get a rather angry text or call about how he burnt out the previous night. He hadn't even explained anything to her as he shuffled about, getting partially dressed and left. He had honestly hadn't even considered her, once he got that call.

"Well then, you're probably in hot water and I may owe you lunch and dinner, as well," Mercedes said with a kind smile.

"Jonesy… Are you alright today?" He asked.

She touched her belly, for a second, then quickly removed her hand, "I'll be fine. I slept hard with no bad dreams. I woke up feeling nauseous, but it's passed. And now, there's breakfast with the bestie. Gonna be a rockin' day," she said and handed him his plate. Sam made prayer hands as he thanked her, silently. Mercedes sat across from him, with her own plate and he stared at it. "What?"

"You made yourself a chicken and egg and cheese sandwich on waffles!" He said, excited.

"You can make a sandwich out of yours, too. I just wanted it like this, for whatever reason," she said and shrugged her shoulders.

"Naw, I'm about to demolish this plate, doesn't matter that it's not n sandwich form, but that's interesting."

"I wish that I had some of your mom's sausage gravy. Been thinking about going to see her, soon…" Mercedes said, cutting her sandwich in half.

"Sounds like a good idea," he said and stabbed his chicken with his fork to take a bite of it. "She misses you. Dad's on the road and Stevie's off to college, right now. So you, her and Stacey could probably have some kinda girls' day, or something." She was slowly chewing on her sandwich, wondering how she would try to tell him about this possible situation that she might be having developing inside of her. Whoa – she was getting ahead of herself! She hadn't even taken a test, yet. There was no need to jump to conclusions.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. Just figured that a nice little drive out of town might be nice. I wonder if she might be able to put me up for a couple of days?" She presented it as a question.

Sam stared at her for a moment, thoughtfully chewing his chicken and he swallowed, "I'm sure that she won't mind. She adores you. You'll probably have to go through another one of those uncomfortable interrogations during which she tries to figure out why the hell you won't marry me…"

"I'm used to it. The best answer that I've come up with that always seems to deter her is that it's hard to want a guy when you're in love with his mom."

"Yeah, you and my mom need to quit with that. My dad has fragile feelings," Sam teased and stuffed a fork full of eggs into his mouth. They ate in silence for a moment and he commented, "You don't have to run away, though. Finn better not be bothering you again, if he knows what's good for him." She froze and dropped her sandwich when she heard Finn's name. That was the first time that she noticed his messed up knuckles and a bruise on the side of his head. He saw her eyes and he smiled, sheepishly, "I may or may not have beat that ass again, last night, after you went to sleep."

"How'd you even know where he was?" She wondered.

"Kurt told me where Rachel lives and I just went to talk to him and suggest that he leave you alone," Sam said. "I don't want to see you like I did last night, ever again, if I can help it. That just killed me. This whole thing is… killing me." He shook his head and dropped his fork, pretty sure that both of their appetites were currently unavailable now. "But… I mean, if you're just wanting to get away for a bit, I totally understand. I'll let Mama know so that she can make sure there's room for you."

"Thanks," she said and got up, gathering her plate with her, as she did. He held his out too, knowing that he wouldn't be able to finish now that they had brought the f word into things.

When Jonesy entered Unique's studio, all dressed up, with her folder full of makeup designs to match Kurt's outfits, Kurt was already there by the time she arrived. He had tears in his eyes and Unique seemed to be comforting him over something. "Hello…?" She said, with a confused look. Kurt forced a nod in her direction and leaned against the mirror. "I feel like I'm interrupting something," she said.

Unique shook her head and placed a hand over her chest. "I'm sorry, Sugarpie. Kurt received some upsetting news a few moments ago."

"Is everything alright?" Jonesy wondered.

Kurt sighed and shook his head, "Everything is far from alright. I think that I need to go. I hope that you understand, U."

"Yas, my doll," she said and hugged him. He also went to Jonesy to hug her goodbye and went on his way, with a face covered in tears.

"What happened, or should I ask?" Jonesy inquired.

"His best friend was put in the hospital last night," she said and shook her head. "Someone broke into her home and beat her and her boyfriend half to death!" Jonesy frowned and fell back onto the mirror, herself, winded. "I know, Girl. I know. And it doesn't even seem like they took anything, like they only came to beat them up and go."

"So, Finn _and _Rachel were hit?" Jonesy clarified.

"From what Finn told Kurt, this guy stormed in and beat him until he couldn't get up, then slammed Rachel off of the walls, threw her into a table…"

"Choked her? Hit her in the face?" Mercedes said, gently.

"Yeah…" Unique said.

"I have to go," she said, leaving her makeup folder on the mirror. She was able to catch Kurt, only because he was still in his vehicle, trying to clear his eyes before driving. She knocked on his window and he rolled it down. "You know that Sam didn't hit Rachel, right? I mean – he never would do something like that…" She said.

"Sam was like a wild animal when he came to get Rachel's address from me… but I don't believe that he would have done all that was done to Rachel. It wouldn't make sense for him to defend one woman and abuse another. But, Rachel won't say anything to the police. She's letting Finn do the talking and she is so seriously hurt. Fortunately, since she hasn't said anything, they aren't even letting Finn see her at the hospital. I want to try to once and for all talk her into pressing charges…"

"I'll come with you," Mercedes said.

They entered the hospital and Finn saw both of them and glared at Kurt. Mercedes kept her distance, letting Kurt go all the way down the hall, while she waited at the end of it, trying to stop her stomach from turning and bile to rise in her throat. Kurt escorted Finn in the opposite direction as she went into Rachel's room and smiled softly at the police woman who was there. "Is she awake?" She asked, softly.

Rachel blinked at her and tried to sit up, but Mercedes held a hand out to pause her, "Don't get up. I don't want you to hurt yourself. You've been through enough."

"Is it alright if she's here?" Rachel asked the police woman.

"If you say so," the woman said.

"Can we talk alone?" Rachel wondered. The woman nodded her head and made an exit. Rachel finally pulled herself up and Mercedes rushed to help her, as she had on a neck brace and her face was just a tragedy. "Hi, Jonesy. I have actually been wanting to talk to you. I… It was me that called you. It was an accident. I was looking through Finn's phone to try to find your number and write it down. It took me a while because he had you listed as Dolphin instead …" Mercedes winced when she heard that name. "I didn't know who else to talk to. I felt afraid and alone and I just wanted to know how you did it. I accidentally pressed the talk button and didn't notice until after I wrote the number down. I hung up and hoped that it wouldn't have gone through, but I guess it did. I hope I didn't cause you too much distress."

Mercedes thought about her position on the floor and she shook her head and lied, "It wasn't too bad." She hoisted herself onto the side of Rachel's bed and said, "Rachel, I really don't know you that well. I know that you wear silly outfits and have an annoying vocabulary and snobby disposition. I know that you were some type of show choir extraordinaire in high school and went to a college of fine arts. Whatever else there is about you, I have no idea, but I can promise you that no matter who you are or what you do, nobody deserves what you're going through."

"I just literally explained to you precisely how this entire incident was my fault," Rachel said.

"You accidentally called me from Finn's phone, and I have an anxiety attack and freak the hell out, calling Sam in the middle of the night, and freaking him out. He makes his way to your place, hands Finn's ass to him and jets. Finn, who is as big a coward today as he ever was, takes it out on you. That's what happened, right?" Mercedes asked her.

"Yes," Rachel answered.

Mercedes reached into her bag and said, "Let me give you a list that I carry around with me of all of the reasons that it's your fault that you've been abused." She handed Rachel a blank sheet of paper and told her, "You can hold on to it, if you need to." Rachel stared at it, with her bottom lip poked out. She had so many bruises on her face that it looked like it would hurt should she even blink. "You need to press charges and you need to make sure that he stays away from you. I came in here today, knowing how terrifying he can be and how crazy and how large he is… I came here to beg you to stand up for yourself. I don't know much about you, but I do know that you don't deserve to die just because you wanted to be in love."

"It isn't that simple…" Rachel started. Kurt entered the room, but Mercedes placed a finger up at him and he stopped and backed out of it.

"Rachel, trust me – I know that it's not simple. That night, Finn didn't just hit me…" She whispered, "He raped me." It was the first time that she admitted it to anyone, besides Grace and Sam (and Sam had been more of a she mentioned it, because he'd already known.) Rachel's mouth became an O and while she was completely still, new tears poured down her cheeks. "He forced himself on top of me, forced himself inside of me and now – I'm pregnant with a baby that I have always wanted, but never this way. I KNOW for a fact that there are some hard decisions to make in this life."

Rachel reflexively reached out to take Mercedes' hand. "You're the first person that I'm talking to this about. I haven't even told my therapist." She gave Rachel a sad smile, "But, I want you to be safe. I want you to live. I want to be able to see Rachel Berry's children someday…" Rachel gave her a flattered smile. "And I DON'T want them to be children that you have with Finn, ones that have to watch their mother be abused."

"I want to press charges on him," Rachel said, nodding her head with determination.

"Let me go get the officer," Mercedes told her and patted Rachel's hand.

"I'm sorry that you're going through what you're going through. If Finn got me pregnant, not only would I have an abortion, but I would probably kill myself. What are you going to do?"

"First, I'm going to call that officer in here so that you can press charges. Then, I'm going to get Kurt to call your family, so that you won't be alone. I might stick around, then head back to the studio. Then, I'll go home, have some dinner and watch A Goofy Movie and Xenon: Girl of the 21st Century. I might even youtube "I Saw Your Face and Wow" from Hey Arnold. My schedule after that is open." She winked at Rachel.

Mercedes wasn't just taking all of this one day at a time… She had to take it oe moment at a time, and after she finished helping Rachel to understand what she needed to do, she would go buy a pregnancy test to try to confirm her condition, and then after that let Disney distract her from making a decision on what she would do with her results.


	12. Chapter 12

_**TRIGGER WARNING: Multiple rape cases discussed. Different stories told. (Not graphic, but still emotionally disturbing) Also, Jonesy has been doing a lot of forward moving, but there are forward and backward movements when in the process of recovery, and she's bound to sometimes not be able to move forward.**_

**Don't Make Me Over 12**

Hours had passed. The situation with Rachel took a lot out of her, but it was for the best for the woman, who probably had never been an abusive situation ever before in her life. Watching the police arrest Finn was somewhat rewarding and she had an opportunity to meet Rachel's dads – whom she immediately loved (but she sort of always clicked really well with gay guys, for whatever reason). Blaine met up with them and they all had a nice meeting in the room, talking and laughing, old friends' style… Rachel probably needed that and Mercedes had to admit to herself that she kind of did, too. When Kurt brought her back to her car outside of Unique's studio, he told her, "I can't thank you enough."

"I did what I had to do," Mercedes told him, kissed him on the cheek and got out, adding, "We'll get together, soon. Sometime _before _we bring Rachel home from the hospital."

"Definitely," he said.

Then, she rode to Tina's job. Tina was arguing with a guy about how much money he would get for the guitar that he was trying to pawn, so she looked over some of the other things, until he left. "Goddamned crackheads always thinking that they know how to hustle," Tina complained as she watched the guy leave, on her way to Mercedes. "Jonesy!" She wrapped her arms tightly around her friend and smiled brightly. "Girl, I almost feel like I've seen a ghost, or something. How've you been?"

"Distant, though I know that much is obvious," Jonesy answered.

"Yeah. I knew that it was hard seeing all of us again after what happened, but then when you rushed out of practice that night and we sort of didn't hear from you again and Sam's being pretty damned secretive. I don't know… I was really worried. Don't know if you remember, but you and I have been cool a little longer than you and Sam." Tina folded her arms and made a serious face. "You feel like talking about it?"

"Yes, and not just to some counselor, but to a friend," Jonesy said.

"K—aaaay…" Tina said, looking slightly confused. "You're seeing a counselor? I didn't realize that it was that bad. Had Finn done this shit to you before, when you were fooling around with him? Is he the one that had those bruises on your arms when we thought that it was Anthony?" Tina asked, getting more and more mad with virtually no confirmed information.

"T…" Jonesy said and covered her face with one hand. This was already a mistake and she felt a headache coming on. "You were the only person that I ever told about Finn and I. I mean, I met him through you and he was being clingy and stuff."

"I never told anybody about it. He was the one who would let stuff spill and I generally tried to get him to shut up."

"Yeah, well… I mean, you're the only person that I ever trusted with the info about us, so that's why when I needed to talk to somebody, I came to you today. This is pretty heavy, right now, T. I need you, K?" Jonesy said. "Can you meet up with me when you close up shop?"

"I can," Tina said and bit her lip while tapping her foot. "But, I'm gonna get Canada to cover me and dip out right now, because this sounds more important than I can handle waiting for." She disappeared for a moment, came out of the back with a young black male, talking, and carrying her purse and guitar case, and joined hands with Jonesy. "Let's hit the road."

Sitting on top of Tina's jeep, in the parking lot of the park, Jonesy took a deep breath. She couldn't tell Tina everything, but she did need to tell her the most pressing issue of the moment – this possibility. Yet, she couldn't tell her how it happened, so hopefully Tina wouldn't ask too many questions, because she was only going to get half truths if her questions were too heavy. "There is a strong possibility that I might be pregnant," Mercedes said.

"Oh wow! I wasn't expecting you to say that. Jeeves. Congrats? I'm sorry? Damn, Jonesy, you and me have drifted so far apart that I don't even know what kind of news this is for you."

"Well, it might be Finn's," Jonesy said and frowned.

"Oh. In that case, I'm sorry," Tina said. She exhaled and crossed her arms. "Well, I don't want to ask questions or overwhelm you with options that I know that you've probably considered, so… Just tell me what you need to and I'll be right here."

"Your friendship means a lot to me, T. Over the past few months, things have been hectic. That stuff with Anthony. The stuff with Finn. Stuff with Sam."

"Shit… Sam… I guess that you haven't told him," Tina said.

"Sam and I aren't together," Jonesy said, "But, Girl… He's been so good to me."

"He loves you. He always has. Well, I mean, he has for a long time," Tina said. She stretched her legs in front of her and leaned back, pulling Jonesy to herself. Jonesy rested her head on Tina's chest and started crying. "I can't tell you what to do. I could tell you what I would do."

"Kill it?" She said.

"Well… Terminating an unwanted pregnancy with an abusive sort of ex is a reasonable decision… But, I also know that you want to have children, and if you decided that you want to have this kid – hell, you've got just as much of a right to choose that as you would have to choose _not _to have it." Tina said.

"Yeah, but I have a feeling that nobody is gonna see it that way…" Mercedes said.

"And? Are they gonna foot any of the damned baby bills? They gonna change any of those damned diapers?" Tina wondered.

"Sam… might," Mercedes said.

"Well, I'll tell you what. He doesn't have to help with anything if he's so against it. If Sam disagrees with your decision, that's his prerogative, but let's be real – if you two aren't _together, _he doesn't have a say. Hell, not that I think about it, that's _your _body. Even if you and he _were _together, it's still _your _choice." Mercedes sniffled for a time longer and Tina just stroked her hair, "Oh, my poor Jonesy Pie. I can already tell that you've made up your mind. You scared that Finn'll fight you for custody, or something?"

"Hell no. I would never even let him know that it's his. I'd deny it until the ends of the earth and he can't make me test it out… Can he?" She asked, sitting up, suddenly.

"You know – I don't know. We can research it, though. In the meantime, don't we need to verify that you actually are, before we start making plans?" Tina asked.

"I'm too afraid. I mean… I'm not ready to deal with this. I just want to, to… I just want to vent about it, right now. I know – that's stupid. I should be dealing with it and not running from it, right?" She asked.

"I would prefer not to be your Yes Man, but I do think that it's up to you how you decide to handle things, but hell – you can't wait too long, Girl. What if you decide that you don't want this thing? You'd better figure it out in time to be able to handle it." Tina pulled her knees to her chest and asked, "So, it'd be Finn's, then? Like, for sure? Because unless you slipped up, you're declaration to swear off men seems like it was a pretty long while ago. Think that our limit is twelve weeks, here."

"I swore off of men about twelve weeks ago, I think… That's about three months, right? Yeah, around that time," she said, nodding.

"Well, that means that you don't have a lot of time to decide," Tina told her. She frowned and rubbed a palm across her friend's back. "Just keep that in mind. Whatever you decide – Tina Cohen Chang is your homie. If you decide that you're not ready to be a single mama, I'm your girl. If you give me a lil' diva ass goddaughter or godson, to be honest – I can't wait to see you have a son. He'd be like a miniature Prince. Not like a Disney charming ass prince, but THE Prince…" Jonesy bust out laughing at the thought of it.

"His ass sure would be. Girl, I'd have that boy in all kinds of purple, frilly ass onesies. Kurt could make them for him," she said and wiped away her final tears. "I need to take a test…"

"We'll go with one. Mike doesn't come home until late. You can take it with me," Tina said.

"Got one, just haven't taken it," Jonesy said.

"Think you're ready?" Tina wondered.

Jonesy felt bad for not telling her everything. If she knew the truth, she would immediately tell her that it was the worse idea. She would refute everything that she said and automatically believe that she should go through with the procedure. Most people didn't believe the rape babies should live. Most people didn't think that the time should be taken to allow them to be real children, because they weren't conceived in love. "There's more to consider than what I'm saying. It's just too much to really talk about going on with this. So, no – I'm not ready, but I promise that I'll make a decision in time." She had an extra month that Tina wasn't aware of.

When Mercedes saw Grace get out of her car to head for the group therapy meeting that she had been told about, she got out of her car, too. She had been feeling ridiculously sick and didn't feel like getting out, but Grace suggested that she attend these weekly group meetings, because they were beneficial, in addition to the therapy that she was getting. She had already increased her therapy to twice a week, and with the group therapy, she now had Tuesday through Thursday to try to sort out her issues. She walked slowly up to the door, which Grace held open for her and gave her a tiny smile.

When they went into the designated room, silently, Mercedes immediately noticed the woman that she had once seen in Grace's office, crying about her pregnancy. She was HUGE now. She sat next to a girl who Mercedes had to admit actually looked a lot like she did, and there were another two there. Mercedes remembered at first thinking, _I didn't even realize that there were this many black women in Lima, _then being depressed that the one time that she was gathered in a room full of them that it was for something like this. She found a seat next to a pretty, light skinned woman who had her hands folded in her lap.

She didn't know the protocol for something like this, so she couldn't decide if she was supposed to say hi, smile, or shake hands. This wasn't like a fellowship – more like a terrible obligation to try to get things resolved that weren't your fault, so being social about it seemed awkward, but not being polite seemed rude, so she say, "Hello," in almost a whisper.

"Hi, I'm Andrea," the woman said.

"MJ," Mercedes told her, then sat with her hands in her own lap.

Grace glanced at her watch and said, "We only have one more person to wait for, then we can get started." She sat down, on the other side of Mercedes and the pregnant woman sighed, leaned back and rested her hands on her belly. A few of the others began to talk amongst themselves as Mercedes waited patiently for the last person to enter.

When the woman finally came inside, with her head wrapped up in a head wrap and a large tote bag, Mercedes stared curiously at her. She looked like a teacher, or something. "Good evening, Ladies. I apologize for my tardiness. My lecture ran a bit late." She set her bag down by the door, shut it, then took a seat next to Grace. "I see a few familiar faces and a few new faces. Always saddens me to see new faces, but I'll be damned glad when I never have to see you again. Beautiful women – simply adorable, but I hate that we all have to meet this way and because of the reasons that we are here today." Mercedes sighed. _You and me both, Sister._

"Before we go any further, I would like to introduce myself, for the benefit of those who are not familiar with me. My name is Carmen Tibideaux. I am a professor of Sociology at the University of Ohio, though I hail from New York and spent most of my life as a performance artist. I went back to school for Psychology after my mother's death, at which time, she admitted to me that I was a product of a rape and that she had never wanted me to have that type of stigma, as a child. I ended up changing my major to Sociology during my sophomore year when realized that I was more interested in the bigger factors of these types of crimes than I was in individual attacks."

The pregnant woman commented, "Why Dr. Tibideaux… you don't look a day over thirty."

The woman teased, "I'm not, Shadonza. Girl, didn't I mention that my performance art career was when I was a child?" She winked at her and the woman laughed. "So, to make a much longer and deeper story short and simple, I ended up wanting to help women like you to not have to deal with what you went through alone, like my mother did. Women often suffer in silence, especially black women, because unfortunately, society doesn't equate us with the rest of womanhood, much less humanity. In a society where we were essentially used for the purposes of satisfying animalistic needs of men, in which we still carry around stereotypes of old as it relates to alleged hypersexuality and insatiable appetites…"

Now, Mercedes raised a finger and asked, "What if you do… or did have one?"

Carmen smiled gently and told her, "Then, that's your prerogative and has nothing to do with the overall activity of every black woman alive. I'm speaking of the insistence that all of us in the room lost our virginities as soon as we hit puberty and have been "wanting it" since. Having society think that you always want it makes it easier for them to give you something that you never asked for, or something that you've already rejected."

Grace cleared her throat and said, "If I may extend some input to MJ, Carmen?"

"Grace us Grace," Carmen said.

Grace looked at Mercedes and told her, "If someone wants to do something wrong, they will usually find an excuse. They will usually try to turn it around and many times, society helps them out. Because you may have a past, society suddenly knocks you several pegs down. Suddenly, you aren't worthy enough to be a victim in their eyes, because you've done things that they wouldn't do. In my case, it was – I knew too much. I should have seen the signs. I should have known how to handle the situation. I should have been able to psych my way out of it. I was even told that I knew too much about being a victim for anyone to seriously believe that I was assaulted."

Mercedes stared at Grace… _She _was a survivor? But… she was so well balanced. She was so put together… Grace continued to say, "It took me some time to deal with it. I pressed the charges against my assailant. I was his psychiatrist, at the time, but I made the report, did the kit, the works. I went through all of the steps. I did everything in the rational way that everyone who doesn't know how this feels tells you that you need to handle it. I was still disbelieved, by many. There were people that I thought were my friends who began to look at me differently. I didn't quit. I went all the way with it, and after he was convicted and I exhaled, I cried, and I realized that even though I went through all of those steps, even though he received justice… I still wasn't healed. I had the training. I knew all of the process, but actually feeling it and living it, there was some disconnect between these things for a long time, for me…" They all continued to talk. Mostly, Mercedes was listening.

Shadonza had been attacked by the man that she was separated from, at the time. He somehow thought that this would help her to reconsider the divorce. She had a month or so left to go ad she as going to be putting the child up for adoption, because she simply didn't think that she would ever be able to love him or her. "I will always see him. Even if it looks just like me. Even if it acts just like me… I'll only see him and that's just not fair to this kid – for me to keep it, knowing that I'll resent it. I would've gotten rid of it, but I waited too long. I didn't want to admit what my husband did to me. I told a friend and she told me that it was impossible for a husband to rape his wife and told me that no jury would EVER find him guilty of it. I was convinced enough to keep things to myself. I was sick, stressed, depressed, and all that. By the time it dawned on me that I was actually pregnant, the FIRST thing I did was make an appointment… but they told me that I was too far along."

Andrea had been assaulted by a masked man on the way to her car from a late night at the library, for an assignment. "I recognized his voice. I know that it was someone that I knew, but he had planned well. He didn't leave a trace of anything and my knowing his voice simply wasn't enough. That's what my first time was like – being shoved into my car at knife point, stripped and violated in my backseat. I don't know if I'll ever want to be with anyone, ever again. I lost my longtime boyfriend. He wanted to be there for me, but it's so hard to keep up trust and to keep up any sense of normalcy when its ripped from you like that and you don't even have a good frame of reference for the sexual things. All I have are memories of brutality and even the beautiful kisses that I used to have are now tainted with the taste of tears. I can't even kiss without crying," she said, tears falling, now.

Cameo had been victimized by the son of a friend of her parents'. "He told me that I should have been glad that he even wanting _something _like me. Because I'm fat, dark skinned and ugly, that was a reason that I should wish to be an object that he used so hatefully and selfishly…"

"You ain't ugly, Cameo. He was," Sheila interjected.

"Well, I felt that way. I had never really felt pretty. The world showed me enough pictures of what pretty was, what sexy was, what desirable was, and NONE of them looked remotely like me. When that happened, I remember wondering, for a moment – if maybe I should have been happy? I actually, for a bit thought that it was possible that this was the best that I could do, that those horrible feelings and that vicious treatment was all that a girl like me could hope for." Cameo cried and admitted, "Every then and now, a pesky voice will try to whisper to me that lie."

Sheila had been attacked by a group of guys at a party that she was a bit drunk and very flirty at. She snuck off with one into the bathroom and he ended up inviting a couple of buddies along. "The thing that really kills me about this is the way that everybody acts like the stuff that happened to us were isolated incidents, or like some big bad monster rolled into town in a mystical wicked mist. This shit… These dudes I saw damned near every day! I was ready to fight it – even though I knew how suspicious I was gonna look. Drunk ass went into a bathroom to fuck, in the first place, and I knew that people probably weren't gonna believe that I drew the line when the other two came in and I tried to leave. Then, I was approached by lawyers of the families who wanted to keep shit silent, and I'm not gonna lie – I settled. The next semester, the same dudes did it to another girl and she killed herself." Sheila shook her head and fanned herself with both hands. "Never even met her and I always see her face."

Grace reached for Mercedes hand and asked, "Did you want to tell the group anything?" Mercedes looked around at the women. They understood. It happened differently for all of them, but they understood. She felt more close with Sheila than the others, but she felt a deep bond with everybody in the room.

She cleared her throat and practically whispered. "I eluded to it, but I'm not what you'd call a "good girl." I keep having to remind myself that this didn't make it my fault, even though there are other factors that I don't want to get into, and there are several ways that it could be looked at as my fault." She sighed. "I was raped twice." They all looked shocked, hurt, angered at this news. "The first time, I didn't think it was my fault, but I did feel like nobody gave a damn, even though it wasn't. The second time, I thought it was my fault and I took it. I didn't even fight him. I knew that I couldn't, so I just took it. I don't _know _what I expect out of life or what I even want in my future. All I know is that I don't want _this… _This is… unbearable. Sometimes I wake up and _breathing_ hurts." She shook her head, "Forget I said that. It's stupid. I've gotta go…" She reached for her things and started to flee, but Shadonza stopped her and wrapped her in a hug.

Mercedes fell onto the woman's shoulders, crying and the other lades in the room began to join in the hug, as well. Her first group meeting was emotional and she didn't know if she could take another, but she accepted all of the phone numbers being given to her at the end, and allowed Carmen and Grace to walk her to her car, afterwards. "Miss Tibideaux – your mom… did she ever blame you? Hate you? Treat you badly?"

Carmen sighed and rested against the car, "She did her best. When I was younger, I remembered thinking that I must have not been good enough. She was forever pushing me to do things right, to succeed, to be something and I became very self-conscious, but I also was an overachiever. She eventually told me that she wanted me to be the kind of woman who, if anything ever happened to me, if I was ever hurt – that people would support and believe." Carmen sighed and said, "I think that some part of her blamed herself, the whole time. She may have seen something in me that reminded me of him, but, even though she was hard on me, I never once felt like she didn't love me. I never would have used the word hate to describe anything between us."

"Because Shadonza…" Mercedes said, "Because of the 32,000 women who get pregnant from rape… It just seems like most of the time, the victim can't get past it. What if she thought that she was strong enough to handle it, then found out that she wasn't? Is it better to take the chance or not risk it?"

"I can't say what's better. That's relative to the situation. But, I can say that if you take the chance and find out that you aren't strong enough, at any age, you can turn a kid over to someone else, but if you don't take a chance, you can't ever go back and decide to have a baby that you decided against having. You could have another one, with someone else, but whoever the one that didn't come to be was going to be would be gone. Of course, I'm also biased because I could've been terminated, due to circumstances. Do you need me to email you some stats on rape pregnancies?"

"I' curious about the info," Mercedes said. Grace was silent as Mercedes gave Carmen her email address. "One last question… Did you ever know or meet him? Your… I don't know if I should call him your father?"

"He went to church with us," Carmen answered. "Knew the man my entire life before I learned that they look and sometimes act like everyone else. But, that's actually part of a bigger problem – the fact that it is normal to rape and to be raped and the fact that human beings are highly desensitized to such a sensitive issue. There are times when I wish that my mother had never told me what she did, because now I have a stigma. Now, I think back on things and it could've been that she simply had a bad day, but I can't help but wonder – was she thinking about him, that time? But, if she hadn't told me, then you and I would not be here and I honestly think that we both can benefit from our relationship."

"Both? I don't have anything that I can give you in return for helping me," Mercedes admitted.

"Trust me, you do. This part of my life is without a charge. I do this so that women like you and Grace and Shadonza and the others can be healed, or at the very least, operational. The happiest moments in my life are when you all don't need me anymore. It was good to meet you, MJ. I hope to see you again, next week."

Yes, she took the test, but she couldn't look at it. That would mean too much change and she was already overloaded with change, in the first place. The information that Carmen sent her was not of much help. In fact… It made her feel more conflicted about things. She didn't want Finn's baby. She couldn't readily think of shit that she wanted less than that… but what if? There were too many things to consider and there was too much on her mind for her to make a decision. If she was going to have an abortion, it would have to be quickly decided and quickly done, or she wouldn't go through with it.

If she did have one, it would not be her first, and she was not so old and it was not so far in the past that she didn't remember how terrible it was for her. She honestly, if she had to pinpoint the time when she thinks she lost her mind, she would say that it happened then. It was a bad experience for her, because she had no say in what was being done to her body. She had no say in what was being done to that which she considered her baby. She didn't want to do it. Mother's Day always depressed her and sometimes, going through the baby section in shops made her sad. But now, she felt like her body was being taken over in reverse. Now, she had a baby that she had not consented to having planted inside of her, having no say in that, but having all the say in what to do with this situation, now.

She would have to decide if she wanted to try to be a mother, as she dreamed of being since her chance was robbed from her years ago, or whether it would be easier to rid herself of the child, thus all ties and tangible memories of Finn. She went into the bedroom, still holding the test in her hand, still unable to brave a glance at it. Sam was out, on a date "sucking up to" his friend for bailing. That made her sad as hell to hear, but she feigned gladness, for his sake. He earned and deserved some joy and she knew better than to pretend that she could give him any, no matter how she was starting to feel. Hell, those feelings were probably gratitude… or hormones.

"Bitch, just look at the test! Look at it!" She fussed at herself. She set it down, and took a photo of it, with her phone, making sure not to look at the result, but hoping that her phone picked it up. Then, she texted it to Tina, avoiding trying to focus on it. She paced, after that, clenching her phone until it buzzed and looked at the response from Tina. _I'm here for you – whatever you need. _That really didn't tell her anything and as crazy or silly as it was, she still couldn't make herself look at it, so she called Tina. "Hey," she sniffled.

"Hey," Tina said, back, shuffling around to leave the room that she was in with Brittany, Santana and Quinn. "How do you feel?"

"Like a coward," Mercedes said.

"Don't. If you're leaning towards the abortion, that doesn't make you a coward. It just means that you realize that you are not ready for this baby," Tina said. That was when Mercedes finally glanced at the face up test and her eyesight was blurred with the tears. _Pregnant._

"I don't know what I'm leaning towards, but I need you to keep this between us. I still have no idea what I want to, what I'm going to do," she said and wiped her eyes. "It's been an emotional week."

"Chillin' with Britt, Tana and Quinn, if you want to come over to not focus on it for a bit," Tina told her.

"That sounds good. Sam's on a date, so I'm here alone with my fucked up thoughts," she said, already feeling weak and whiny.

"Girl, your thoughts have no fucked up on the fucked up stuff that goes through my mind, constantly. And… Sam's on a date? With who?"

"I don't even know. He keeps calling her an old friend and hasn't said her name. Must be one of those undesirables. Probably Kitty. He just better not let me find that shit out, because that bitch will run into the front of my car. She would run into my car ten times."

"Or Aphasia," Tina suggested.

"Oh hell to the NO! That's that bitch that Anthony fucked in MY house!" Mercedes shook her head and said, "I'm actually gonna just go to bed, okay?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't even know that much about her," Tina said.

"Don't be. Have fun with the girls. I wasn't in the mood for a crowd anyway and Quinn's basic ass kills the hell out of my patience."

"Alright. Call me if you need anything. I'm gonna be keeping up with you, no matter what, Babe," Tina said.

"I appreciate that," Mercedes said and hung up. She set her phone on the table and looked at the bed beneath her. A bed that she had invited Finn into, and Anthony, and Azimio and Dave, and Puck, a couple of times, and dudes whose names she couldn't even remember and sometimes never caught and where Finn had did this things to her. She stood up, with folded arms, tapping her foot. A bed that she had invited Sam into, but he turned her down, because he thought that she was too drunk and didn't know what she was doing and he told her that he loved her too much to do that to her. So, naturally, she pretended not to remember a thing about it, but there was eternal sexual frustration between them, since and that was when Finn started to act a damn entire fool… like she didn't have a man already, anyway.

Anthony – that sleazy bastard wasn't worth a second thought, but she had him in this bed many times and watched his ass fight with Sam over a bitch that he had the nerve to fuck in the damned bathroom. And now, Sam was seeing that bitch again? That boy was a glutton for torture and that was his business. But, hell – he had enough bitchy exes to not have to disrespect their friendship by fucking with _that _one again, of all people… wait… Jonesy sighed and asked, "The hell am I doing?" She had bigger concerns than who Sam was sleeping with and how much of a BITCH she was. But she couldn't. Help. It. If _she _didn't deserve Sam, that chick _certainly _didn't! But then again, who the hell was she to try to determine that? Somebody who cared enough about Sam not to mess up his life with her baggage all of these years… Frustrated, she picked up her mattress, without a second thought and flipped it over!

Then, she determined that she was pissed off at it and never wanted to see it again, so she began to drag it outside and the other pieces of the bed followed. "Nobody's fucking me, raping me or rejecting me on this shit again!" She said and went inside to get lighter fluid that Sam sometimes used in barbeque. She lit the pile on fire and found the flames unsettlingly soothing. She was probably going to get a ticket, because she _certainly _knew that yard fires were illegal, especially one that big. Shit if she cared.

She began to dig out stuff that she had from holding on to exes and things that were simply still lying around and marching them outside to toss them in. She glanced around the room for other stuff that she didn't want or need and collected a few more things, then grabbed the pregnancy test and tossed those things too. She had her arms folded, watching, thoughtfully when Sam's truck rushed into the driveway. He ran up to her and fought to catch his breath, "Jonesy, what's going on? Neighbors called and said that you were setting shit on fire!"

"I'm just watching it now," she told him and sung, "Just gonna stand here and watch it burn…" He sighed and looked at the fire.

"What is this?" He wondered.

"Useless stuff."

"Your bed?" He asked.

"That's where it happened," she told him. He took a swallow and watched the fire with her. "How was your date?" She asked. Sam sighed and went to retrieve the hose to put out these flames.

"I ditched out early, again, when I thought you'd burn down the house. She pretty much told me that she's not ready to be number two to you again and I wished her farewell."

"Which one was it – Kitty or Aphasia?" She asked.

"Jonesy, Kitty offended everyone that I care about and got into bareknuckle fight with my mom. And Aphasia cheated on me in my own house, with your boyfriend. If you really think I'd ever go out with either of those women again, even for a moment, you can't possibly think much of me. How was your day. This backyard bonfire seems counterproductive."

"Oh trust me, this is progress. I never want to see this thing again," she said and headed back into the house. He eventually joined her inside and saw her packing up a few bags. He stared at her waiting on an explanation. She suddenly looked up at him and mentioned, "I'm going to be away for a few nights." She nodded her head and gave him an awkward hug.

"What did I do wrong?" He wondered, feeling a strange tension between them, suddenly.

"Nothing, and I like it like that," she answered. "I'll catch up with you, later." In fact, she had nowhere in particular that she felt that she could honestly go. Now might be a perfect time for that trip that she talked about. It was kind of late, but Mary was always going to bed late, anyway, so she gave her a call.


	13. Chapter 13

**Don't Make Me Over 13**

Things were so stressful that she went ahead and bought a box of cigarettes – something that she only ever did in extreme situations. She sucked on the Marlboro No 27 blend and whispered, "Sorry, kid – but I promise, it won't continue. Just need a quick… something. Forgive me?" She looked down at herself with a dreamy smile until her stomach began to turn. "Oh hell - alright!" She said and tossed the half smoked thing out of the window. It actually helped, a little bit. But, hopefully, this trip would help, more.  
She'd told Unique that she needed to take a few sick days and that she would see a doctor, in the meantime (and she confirmed her pregnancy, though she asked to keep it secret, for the moment). "Girl, you have to make sure that everything is alright with my BooBoo. Take that time off, Sugar... but don't take all the time in the world. I have an important photo shoot next week and if you don't do my makeup that day, you and Booboo might have to find an alternate source of food supply." Unique laughed, but she was partially serious. She'd grown to love Jonesy and all, but she needed her to be able to do the job that she hired her to do.  
"What the hell am I gonna do, kid?" Jonesy asked as she continued her drive.

Mary Evans sat on her porch, with her joint lit as the vehicle came into the driveway. She stood up and shook her head, marching towards the car with her nerves frazzled. When she received a call from her son, frantic that his friend had packed up a bunch of her things and decided to leave, not telling him where she would go, she asked him to calm down and not worry, "Between the two of you, she's the one with the better portion of her good sense, so it isn't like she's in danger."  
"But she is, Mo. She hasn't been herself now for a couple of months." He sighed and said, "She's been so... just... out of my reach. I've done everything that I could think of to help her, but none of it is enough and she's had so many emotional breakdowns lately... I don't know what to do!"  
"Hang up the phone and go have yourself a drink or two - inside the house! No DWI, unless the I is weed," she said and blew him a kiss through the phone before hanging up and calling Mercedes. "Jonesy Jones... what are you up to, Sweetcakes?"  
"Going for a drive," she answered, as she was buying a pack of cigarettes.  
"Is that so? Well, drive yourself on to Kentucky, then. Got a spot waiting for you."  
Now, here she was. Mary held her hand as they went towards the house, "Got some of your absolute favorite brownies inside - the white chocolate and toffee blond brownies, and this time, there's an icing dipping sauce that I made up during one of my creative sparks." (Jonesy knew that to mean during one of her marijuana induced munchies cooking sessions. "So, we'll have brownies, icing; I went out and got you some of that bottled up vanilla chai tea that you like, and I've prepared a bit of Mary Mercedes for ya."  
Mary Evans grew cannibas. She had done so since she was a preteen and to be honest, with the economy what it was, it was a good thing that she had her skills, because her family had lost quite a bit in the past few years and her weed experience was the only thing that really kept them afloat, for a time. Her parents had been old hippies and she had pretty much been one, herself - still was by many accounts. But, aside from anything else - she was in love with herbs... and weed. It was natural, though illegal, so she never felt guilty about it. "Bob Marley was an upstanding person and a very reasonable man," she would say, sometimes. All of her plants were named a different variation of Mary, and she called the place that she grew them "the convent." "This is my goddamned sanctuary," was pretty much her motto.  
"Hate to sound ungrateful, Mare - but do you have any like... food, food? My belly's pretty much cussing me out in the language of its people," Jonesy said as she walked inside with her older friend.  
"Yeah. I don't know that you'll like anything I have laying around, but I can try to whip something up for ya," Mary said. Jonesy went into the fridge and pilfered around until she found some bean pies wrapped in plastic. She grabbed one and looked at Mary, questionably. "There was some kind of Muslim student unions or something selling those. I still feel bad about how our country attacks their people, so I bought like a whole bunch of them."  
"There's a couple left. I think this might be alright for me," Jonesy said.  
"They're not old. I ate most of them when my Mary Evolution kicked in. Think that'll be purely for sale," she chuckled and nudged her head at the island, which Jonesy went to sit at. Jonesy sat down and unwrapped one of the pies. They were small enough that she didn't see the need for a fork, but she was grateful when Mary set the bottle of vanilla chai tea next to her. "Stace and I have already had our supper. Dwight's on the road and won't be back for a couple of days. Tomorrow, we gals can all whip something up together, unless that pie ain't enough for you, then I'll get you something else."  
"Actually - I've never really been big on these things, but this one tastes AMAZING!" She said and took a huge bite out of it.  
Mary gave her a small smile and pulled the nearby plate of white brownies closer and grabbed one for herself. "You're pregnant," Mary stated. Jonesy dropped the bean pie and stared up at the woman with shock. "And Sammy doe'n't know about it."  
"Why would you even guess that?" Jonesy wondered.  
"He said that you've been acting erractically and emotional and he didn't seem to understand what was happening with you. My mind immediately jumped to pregnant, before I even saw you, then I see your glowing and hear you talk about your taste changing..." Mary shrugged her shoulders and finished off her brownie in silence, while Jonesy finished the bean pies and reached for a brownie, herself... wondering if it might taste bad now that she was like this... or if it might taste bad after that while excellent, still a bean pie. "Who am I to judge?" Mary asked and dusted off her hands together. "When I got pregnant with Sammy - his dad could've been a few guys!" She laughed and gazed out into the abyss, "But I would go out at night and wish on stars that it was Dwight's. We weren't really exclusive at the time. He knew that I liked to party and he actually had a little thing that his folks were pressuring him to try to marry, himself."  
Mary sighed and shook her head, "But, he was the bee's knees, you know? Sammy's a lot like his old man and I have told every lil' old gal that he's ever brought around that if they didn't want to be with my son - she's a stupid bitch." Jonesy chuckled and Mary threw her a look that seem to say You know I did it. "And that boy came out of me with this damned patch of red on his forehead and I started cussing up a storm - because I just KNEW that he was this other guys - redhead asshat that I wasn't even with more than once. But Dwight, with this really sad and defeated look said to me - 'you know... I don't even think I care about that. We'll have a son of our own someday, but this kid, because he's part of you, I'm gonna love him like my own.' And Girl, I told that man if he didn't marry me that I never wanted him near my vagina again, because he made me melt when he said that! As it turned out, though, Sammy was his. Thank GOD! I do believe that Dwight would've loved him, anyway, but I've always been grateful that he was OUR son and not my son that we were raising together."  
"Sam and I aren't together, though, Mare - you know that," Jonesy said, then said, "And if he finds out that I have a baby for this person, he's likely to disown me as best friend. He'd never be able to love this kid - not even as its godfather." Her lip quivered and Mary stared at her. There were pieces missing, obviously, because she couldn't fathom a world where her Sammy would be repelled by Jonesy. Her brain wouldn't even accept the possibility. "It's Finn's," Jonesy said and began crying. Mary quickly took her into an embrace ad held her close. She knew about the assault, like everyone else, but also like everyone else - she didn't know all of the details.  
"Babygirl, it doe'n't matter if you and Sammy aren't together... He loves you as much as Dwight loved me when he was foolhearted enough to commit to raising a kid that he didn't think was his. He's gonna be there for you. Me and Dwight raised him like that. When he's in love, it's all the way and it's been all the way with you for years. I know you're probably battling some trust issues and that you probably don't even wanna deal with Sam or any other guy, for that matter... But, please don't just scratch him off like a throwaway friend, because my boy is not that." Mary tilted her to look at her crying face and kissed her tears off. "You get yourself cleaned up and I'll take your stuff to Stevie's room.

Stacey had gotten a bit plumper since the last time that Mercedes saw her. She was a thick girl before, but she was now a bit chunky. She squeezed Mercedes into an embrace, then got off of the phone with whomever she had been speaking to, to talk to Mercedes and to catch up. The two of them picked herbs out of the convent and Mercedes noticed that Stacey packed herself a small bit of grass, as well. "They let you have that?" She asked.  
"Jesus, Jonesy! I mean just because a person has a pothead hippy for a mom doesn't mean that its just okay for minors to smoke grass!" She laughed, then said, "No, but seriously - don't mention it to her. I don't think she'll flip out so much as Daddy. He tries to do right by us, bless his heart. But, the two of them are both free spirits and they raised us seeing and hearing stuff that other kids didn't know too much about. And I remember my embarrassment when I learned that free love was frowned upon." Stacey laughed and said, "I think that Daddy even still thinks that I don't know that he and Momma are swingers."  
"Well, that's not really something that they would want to talk you about, I'm sure. Did they ever have one of those parent to daughter sex talks with you?" she wondered.  
"Oh yeah. They sat each of us down at the ripe age of 5 - when we were getting ready to go into kindergarten. I'm sure that we had the most entertaining nature talk stories of anybody that we know. We got another one at puberty, though. I remember, Dad's first words when that one started 'You've got the tits now, this ain't a drill." She imitated her father's course talk. Mercedes eyes grew and she nearly toppled over with laughter. "Well when I was five, they were basically telling me that my privates were no-no parts and not to let anyone touch them or see them, and what to do if anybody did. They were pretty clear on explaining that some day, I would like someone and I might want them to touch me or see me then, but that I was too young and that they'd tell me later on about what to watch for an stuff then, 'whenever she starts growing tits seems a good time,' Daddy'd said." She laughed out loud and declared, "And that's exactly what they did."  
"My talk with my parents was grueling and uncomfortable. They spent most of it asking me if I did things or had the urge to do them and looking at me in distrust when I said no and contempt when I said yes. They told me about sin and immorality and pretty much made it clear that if I shamed them, I was cut off. I happen to have shamed them more than time or two."  
"That's so sad. You ever talk to them?" Stacey wondered.  
"Not a damned thing to say," Jonesy said as they reentered the kitchen.  
Mary eyed both of them, but continue cutting up her chicken. Mercedes place her stuff on the counter and Mary nudged towards a knife, "You can start cutting those herbs up, Jonesy."  
She stared at Stacey and the girl reached for a knife and held out her hands, "What?"  
"I'd better not find any grass on you or in your stuff. You know the rules, When you're an adult and can pay for your own legal stuff..." Mary said.  
"Mom, I'm not the LEAST bit interested in smoking grass. Good God," Stacey Stacey said and began to help Mercedes cut the herbs. Mercedes remained silent, not knowing what her place or position should be at the moment. Stacey cut the tension in the room when she said, "So, what about like when you get ready get married and have kids and the like? Would you tell them?"  
"They wouldn't care," Mercedes said. "If they did, it'd be pretty much Mamma trying to dictate how the wedding, marriage, pregnancy and upbringing of my child should be conducted and my dad sitting silently, sighing sporadically, like its a waste of HIS time, but not trying to stop it." She hissed and dropped the knife, "Damn it!" She held her hand and rushed to the sink. Stacey gasped and rushed to help her tend to the cut. "Guess I got a bit emotional cutting that cilantro," Jonesy joked.  
Stacey gave her a sad smile and said, "I should've left that subject alone. Let me go get some stuff." She rushed out of the room and Jonesy pressed a paper towel on her cut and glanced at Mary, who was still cutting the chicken, as though nothing had happened.  
"You wouldn't cover for my daughter if she was pilfering from the convent, would you?" Mary asked. "Because Dwight and I may be swingers, he may be a nympho, I may be a pothead, but one thing that we've always tried to be is responsible parents and having the kids see me do something illegal is a whole lot different than having one of my kids end up getting arrested for MY shit."  
"I don't think that she'll do anything stupid. She barely had a pinch, Mare," Jonesy said, not wanting to blatantly disregard the woman in her home. Mary threw her knife down and rested her hands on the counter.  
"She's not supposed to take any of it. Sam and Stevie were never interested in the grass. The problem that we had with them was always girls. Trying to make sure that they were responsible when they went out there. Stacey couldn't give a shit about boys, but the grass!"  
"Just... don't be too hard on her. Sometimes, a girl just needs her mom to understand that she isn't perfect. Stacey seems like she's trying to find out who she is. That's the time that she needs you to try to understand her the most. If you come down too hard on her, Lord only knows what she might come up with as her identity. You don't want her turning out like me."  
"Mercedes, there idn't nothing wrong with how you turned out, considering what you had to deal with from your Mom and Pop. And you give yourself less credit than what's do to you just for surviving the kinda abuse that neglectful parents provide through their apathy. You're a strong young lady and you've handled things better than a lot of us who ain't never had to deal with that stuff probably would if we did have to deal with it. You know I ain't in the habit of judging." Stacey returned with some first aid stuff and Mary took it off of her hands, knowing that she stashed her stolen weed somewhere before making her way back. "And you - am I gonna have to talk to your Daddy about you pinching off of the plants?" Stacey paled and looked at Mercedes. "She tried to cover for your ass, but I sell grass for a living. Game recognizes game, lil' gal. And how rude of you to pull somebody else into your dirt."  
"Mom - I just take a little bit for some of the cooler kids at school. It's virtually the ONLY reason that I have any friends!" Stacey said, handing over the supplies. "I don't smoke it, I never do."  
"What you're doing is still dangerous and you could get into serious trouble if any of those brats get caught and point the finger at you. Bring me what you took, and if I find pieces missing from my plants again, no more Nice Mamma - your dad's gonna hear about it, you understand?"  
"Yeah. I'll go get it," she said, sadly.  
"And any that you might have still had from other times!" Mary called out at her retreating form. "Gonna throw a bit in my helping of sauce," Mary said to herself. Mercedes laughed and stared at the top of the woman's head as she cleaned off and covered up her cut. Mary looked up and smiled brightly at Mercedes with charming, familiar green eyes. "All fixed up. Now, stay away from the food," the woman teased, retrieving the offending knife and the partially cut herbs.  
"Sam's really lucky to have had you and wight as parents," Mercedes said. "From the moment I met you, I saw how great you were together and how good you are to them."  
"Oh, there are SO MANY times when I wish that I could've been better for Sammy and the others. They've seen much more than they should have or should have had to. Sammy's caught us during our get togethers, twice! He was supposed to be at a friend's the first time. The second time, he purposefully came back, just to see if we were oing what we'd done the last time he was sent to his friend's house. Stevie has seen Dwight arguing with a woman that I didn't realize he'd carried on with outside of our get togethers. Stacey... she's just... I wish I were a better role model for her. She's socially awkward as is and the one woman that's supposed to help her out with that talks to plants more than to people."  
Mercedes smiled and hugged the woman. "You did great with them. You said yourself that Sam's a good man. Stevie has his issues, but, he's smart and responsible and Stacey is going to do great things when she realizes that the people that she wants to impress don't matter and the people that matter are already impressed with her." Mercedes gave Mary's cheek a playful punch.  
"I'm glad that you came to visit, Jonesy Jones. Look... have you thought about how you'll tell Sam about this." She nudged her head at the belly.  
"No. I was thinking that I would move out of the house, send him my portion of the bills while I sleep elsewhere and after a while conveniently run into him and cheer, 'SURPRISE! I got a baby!' Then, hope that he's so enthralled with the cuteness of it or so happy to finally see me after months of no contact nor news that he doesn't strangle me to death," she said, serious as all hell.  
"I was thinking that you would unwind here for a few days, then I would invite him to come see you, here - a safe place, where he's surrounded by people who love him and that you could break it to him gently, with a table full of baked goods in front of you and we'll all deal with however he deals with it together, as a family."  
"Mare - I don't wanna pull your family into my shit..." Mercedes started, but shut up when Stacey came in carrying a little baggie.  
Mary snatched it and said, "Now, spend a little time in your room and rethink your life choices. I'll get you when dinner's ready." Stacey frowned and nodded. Mary gave her a hug and whispered, "Mama just wants what's best for her princess." She cupped her chin and let her go. When the girl was out of earshot, Mary informed Mercedes, "You're a part of our family, Sweetcakes. You have been every since my eldest called me and told me that he was bringin' his best friend home for Christmas and showed up with you and that twinkle of love in his eyes that hasn't ever gone away, no matter how many partners the two of you run through."  
Mercedes burst into tears and Mary quickly slid her a plate of red velvet brownies. Mercedes sobbed, "Those are the weed batch!" And Mary snickered, pulled them away and slid the other plate to her. But, Mercedes didn't want a brownie. She wanted a hug. Actually, she wanted to cuddle. She wanted to be held and she wanted to feel loved. She missed Sam and she worried that no matter what Mary thought and no matter how she approached this situation, once he found out, that would be the last straw. She would lose him forever - as friend, as whatever they were avoiding becoming, as well. And with her hormones a hot mess, that thought tortured her from the inside out. "I don't want to get rid of this... I don't even know what to call it."  
"It's a baby," Mary said.  
"I'm only two months along, or so. IS IT a baby?" Mercedes asked.  
"Oh, now you're getting into science. I don't know anything about that part of it. I considered all of mine babies from the moment I found out about them. From that moment, I wondered about them and mused upon them; I actually loved them in advance. Maybe they weren't babies yet, but they were babies to me and I was a mother already. My body had told me that I'd become one, so I wore that hat. You seem like you've already put the hat on, as well. So, even if it ain't a baby; it's your baby."  
"I don't want to get rid of it," she said. "I've thought so long and hard on it and I decided that I don't give a shit about Finn or how it happened. I want the kid. I want to spoil it and chill with it. I want to teach it to be creative and to be itself. I want to feel like something good came from something in my life - for once!" She wiped her eyes and reached for a brownie. "I know that maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe its in this pre-kid's best interest to never exist in this horrible world where you can't trust people and I probably am gonna be a shit mom and ruin its life. But, I want the chance to try to do right by it."  
"Honey, why do you sound like you're pleading a case or something?" Mary asked, with wide eyes, reaching for a weed brownie.  
"Because, I am. I am trying to convince myself that I should do what I want to do, instead of what I need to do..."  
"You need to do what you want to do," Mary told her and bit her brownie. She stared at it and said, "You were wrong, I was right - that's the weed batch." She pointed to the almost fully eaten brownie that Mercedes held and Mercedes sighed and dropped it.  
"Great."  
"A little bit won't hurt Care Bear," Mary said, patting her on the shoulder and finishing off the remaining corner of brownie for her.  
"Care Bear?" Mercedes repeated, with a soft chuckle.  
"They were adorable! That's what I'm gonna call this baby until we find out some stats." She returned to preparing dinner and Mercedes sat, silently. "I'll arrange for Sammy to come up here in a couple of days. I'll get him to arrive after Dwight's made it back, so that you'll have all of us here for the both of you." She threw her a smile, "It'll be okay, Jonesy Jones. You and Care Bear will be fine and Sammy will learn to love the cub as much as he does you."  
Mercedes nodded, even though she didn't really believe that. She didn't believe it for one moment.

Dwight came in to see Mercedes, Stacey and Mary curled up on the couch, watching something with half naked men jumping around. "So, not bad enough that you steal my wife and I don't get to watch, but now you're turning my baby girl out, too?"  
Stacey shook her head and said, "He never fails to say something totally unnecessary and gross."  
Mercedes laughed, though and pinched Stacey's cheeks. "Your daddy was bound to find out about our hot loving, eventually."  
Stacey pushed her glasses up and nodded, saying, "Yes'm, because I am the poster child for some hot lovin,' I don't have to tell ya!" She chuckled and Mercedes grimaced.  
"Stacey, all jokes aside, you are one hot little chick. Boys should be flocking to you in clumps," Mercedes said.  
"Yeah, I don't exactly own my fat, like you do. I mean - you're hot, but you've got one of those personalities. I am not only underconfident and overweight, but I wear glasses and have braces... and I think that I may have diarrhea of the mouth, because I can never seem to prepare myself for all of the random shit that shoots out of it."  
"Yeah, I've seen the examples of that. First off, Girl - you may be a chubby girl, but why does that made you OVERweight - I mean, whose weight are you using to base your weight on? Nobody's overweight. We all weigh different weights, as individuals. I've never seen myself as overweight and I am and always have been bigger than what you are right now. And next - how you not gonna own your fat? It's yours. Unless you get rid of it, you already own it, so you might as well OWN it. Glasses are hip and sexy. You'd be amazed the folks who wear them and don't even have to. Why would you feel bad that you need some corrective lenses when perfectly sighted folks are trying to get like you? Even celebrities are trying to get on your nearsighted level, Bae." Stacey laughed at that comment. "And braces! Girl - don't even get me started. I love braces on girls! And you have that girl next door, naughty librarian flava. More people want you than are bold enough to admit and more people wanna be you than are humble enough to confess."  
"And this is exactly why you need to marry into the family," Stacey said, and laid on her lap. "Pillowy soft satiny goodness with sassy encouragement." Mary got off of the couch and went to greet her man with a hug and a kiss, a few whispered words and they wished the others good night and made their way to the bedroom. "Ugh - I hope like hell to not have to hear them doin' it!"  
"Well, it's normal for people in love, who miss each other to do it," Mercedes said.  
"You and Sammy do it?" She wondered. Mercedes sighed and Stacey sat up and looked at her for an answer.  
"Sam and I are really good friends, and I have feared endangering that for almost as long as I have been close to him," Mercedes said.  
"So... even though you're a self claimed nympho and I KNOW that he's a manslut and the two of you have been living together now for like four years or so and never once?" Stacey asked with disbelieving gray eyes.  
Mercedes chuckled and wiped a hand down her face. "Not once. He is literally the only friend that I have ever had that I have not had sex with."  
"Why? Don't you like him?" Stacey asked.  
"No. I love him. I'm in love with him, and THAT'S why." Stacey looked hella confused as Mercedes clasped her hands together, "Sex has never been about love for me. My first time, I thought it was, but it turned out that it hadn't been. The times that followed were all about power and authority over my body. I have literally never had sex with someone out of love and I'm scared that if I try it now, I'll convince myself that the love isn't real. I'd rather keep Sam and never have him than to get him and have to lose him..." She furrowed her brows, wondering if that was as confusing as it sounded coming out of her mouth.  
"You're not an advocate of better to have loved and lost, eh?" Stacey asked.  
"I'm not an advocate of love, period," Mercedes told her, but with friendship - I do it well. With friendship, I go hard and strong in that love and my friendships are so much to me. If I lose Sam's friendship because I wanted to try to transition into something else, I'd hate myself and he'd probably end up hating me too."  
"Hmph," Stacey said, thoughtfully, then raised a blond eyebrow, "You aren't as confient as you've seemed."  
"Sorry."  
"No - it's good. It just proves that you're human, and it feels really good to me that you trust me enough to be one of those in front of me," Stacey said.  
"I hurt him," Mercedes admitted. Therapy must have really been changing her. She had opened up a little to TC, to Mare, and now to Stacey. She explained:  
Shucks on a Shingle had finished performing. She was drunk as hell and horny as all fucking get out. She passed through the hallway, touching everyone that she passed by, ignoring them when they turned her way in lust, feeling like Alisha off of Misfits as she glided through the crowd, in her emerald green costume jewelry with matching makeup and gold glitter to accentuate her look. She had on a tight pair of chocolate chaps, emerald green tights beneath them, and a matching corset with a chocolate vest over it. She had on a cowgirl hat with an emerald butterfly pin on it and she owned the damned building as far as she was concerned.  
She saw TC, getting down and dirty on the dancefloor, practically humping Mike's leg as he rolled his body with seemingly no damned bones. Those freaks! She giggled at them and told the bartender, "If I'm still good for drinks - I want the biggest whatever you got that'll match my outfit. I got to coo-oordinate!"  
He smiled at her and fixed her a big ass mojito or something, or maybe it was some midori based drink - whatever it was was fruity and a lovely green color. She wanted to take a photo with it.  
Sam collapsed onto the bar next to her and said, "I'm not coming home tonight. I'm gonna go to Kitty's."  
She frowned and shook her head, "Naw. Mare said that if Kitty came anywhere near you to slap the shit out of her twice before I start cursing."  
"Why does that not sound anything like anything my mama would say?" Sam asked.  
"Well, I paraphrased. I think she said pimp slap that bitch to kingdom come?" Jonesy tried to think.  
"That sounds like her, but I don't care. Kitty looks good as shit in her cowgirl get up and I'm gonna fuck her brains out." He stole Jonesy's drink and took a sip then, pushed it back and shook his head, "Too sweet."  
"I know you didn't contaminate my drink with no Kitty germs!" Jonesy fussed.  
"Naw," he said. "We haven't gotten started yet."  
"Good. That means you can still be saved."  
"I don't wanna get saved. I wanna get laid," he said.  
"Well, you are in luck, Sammy-Boy, because I do too. You wanna go now, or later?" She asked.  
"Jonesy, don't play with me. -If this is some scheme to get me away from Kitty and you don't make good with the ass, I am gonna unfriend you in real life," he said.  
"No hoax," she said and gulped down her drink. "That shit was good. let's dance!" She grabbed Sam's hand and took him to the floor where they danced as dirty and Mike and Tina, ground against each other and kissed a few times. Kitty saw the two of them and took a hint, grabbing her flunkie's arm as she made her way to the door and Jonesy smirked when she noticed the bitch leaving. Like she would ever let that rascal anywhere near Sam again after the horror stories she had gotten about her from his family.  
Sam and Jonesy went home, kissing passionately the entire way into his bedroom. They were hungrily going at each other, clawing at each other's clothes. She had always found him hot. He was beautiful and perfect, up until he mumbled it into her skin. "I love you..." She pulled away from him and looked at him, shocked and confused. "I... I mean... I do. You're like the most wonderful woman and I think that we would be good together." She rushed into his bathroom and collapsed over the toilet to release some sick.  
When she was done, she chuckled and said, "Well, I'm sure that was sexy as hell."  
"It happens," he said, with an awkward laugh and ran a hand through his hair. Sorry if I freaked you out."  
"It was definitely unexpected. I understand how you feel. I love you too. I have for a long time. But, we're both like really drunk and things were hot and heavy a few moments ago. We should maybe talk about this when we aren't all fucked up, you know?" She suggested. Sam nodded. "We can maybe lay down and go to sleep, unless you wanna try to get down. I'll have to brush my teeth..."  
"It's okay. Go on to bed," he said and kissed her on the forehead, "We'll talk about everything another time."  
"K," she said. But, she didn't want to talk about that, at all. NOt what he said, not her response - none of it. Play drunk, she decided, right away. She skipped out early the next morning, still feeling particularly drunk and went to one of her male friend's house to try to forget about Sam's words. She even got involved with the guy as the perfect cover up and when Sam brought up the conversation that they were supposed to have, "Is this something that we discussed while drunk? Because I can't recall any conversation that we're supposed to have..." She could tell he was hurt, but he brushed it off. Luckily, he didn't run back to Kitty, but hell, he started fooling around with that Aphasia bitch, which was as terrible, if not worse. Jonesy always felt responsible for that.  
"I hurt him to avoid losing the friendship that we had. I was too stupid and too selfish to even realize that I was not being any kind of friend to him when I did that. I owed it to him to tell him that even though I loved him that I wasn't cut out for a relationship. Instead, I broke his heart and pretended that I had no idea what he was going through. I feel like everything since then has been punishment for me doing that to him.  
My boyfriend, Anthony and I were on and off - he was always cheating, so I started cheating on him. The cheating on him that I got into became unhealthy and unbalanced and I wanted to get out of it and had no idea how to do that. Then, Anthony cheated in the house with Aphasia and I watched a guy that I was with and a guy that I was in love with fight over a woman that wasn't me." Jonesy chuckled.  
"After that, she was out of the picture and I was there for Sam as much as I could be, I felt responsible. Anthony was out of the picture for a little while. Sam and I were both in a messed up place, so the subject of us didn't come up again. Then, I got back with Anthony, for I don't know what reason, I think I was just a drama whore. He and Sam would never get along and one night, Sam came home and found Anthony and a group of his friends making a sex tape of a very drunk and seemingly incoherent me and he put everyone out and helped me to wash up and put me to bed... He took care of me. I was embarrassed, and I actually was so drunk that I didn't remember most of that event, but Sam told me that if I continued to see Anthony after that, that he was going to move out and just love me as friend from afar. "I can't watch him do things like this to you," he said."  
Stacey's wide eyes were damp and she croaked out, "What did you do?"  
"I broke up with Anthony, once and for all and I decided to swear off of men. I made plans to have one last go with my FWB, who I had been secretly seeing for months. We usually did it rough, but that last time, he was trying to make love to me, gently, softly, like I don't know if he thought that it was going to make me fall for him or see him in a different light or if he was trying to punish me for cutting myself off from sex, but it was literally the worst sex that I had had in all of life and I told myself that was a good thing. My last time was bad enough that I would recall it and remind myself that dick wasn't worth the drama that I was addicted to." She shook her head, "Now, stuff is super messed up between Sam and I and I know that its my fault and I would never try to pull him into something with me, knowing how screwed up I am. I always wanted to protect him from me and my issues." She shook her head. "I bet you're like, 'well damn bitch, are you human are subhuman?'" Jonesy laughed.  
"No, it's more like - wow, she has no idea that not only Sam but all of us love her, no matter what her issues are and she should give Sam more credit, because he don't need no protection from her issues. Jonesy, Sam grew up with our momma and daddy... that's all kinda issues. He knows how to love some screwed up folks."  
"Yeah, well... I don't know how to let somebody love me," Jonesy admitted.  
"It's a shame. You don't know how to stop anybody from loving you either."

**  
**


	14. Chapter 14

**Don't Make Me Over 14**

When Sam entered his parents' home, his mother cut him off with a huge hug, extending to him Mary Marvel, wrapped in purple paper. He glanced behind her at Mercedes, seated between Stacey and Dwight, seemingly being given a pep talk by the latter. He waved at them and they all smiled and waved back, though he could see that something was stressing Jonesy out, majorly. He waved his mother off and went to check on her. They hadn't seen each other in a few days and now, his family was acting all weird, as was she. He entered the room and put his hands nervously in his pockets. "Jonesy," he said.  
"Sammy Boy," she returned, genuinely happy to see him and terrified, at the same time. "I'm ready, she told the others. Let us talk.." Dwight and Stacey got up and gave Sam hugs, all the while, his eyes stayed on Mercedes, twiddling with her thumbs, rearranging cupcakes on a plate on the table in front of her. Mary came back and gave her a hug and a hit of the purple blunt in her hands, then pulled it away and held it at bay as she kissed her, briefly on the lips and caressed her cheek with one hand. Sam chuckled. Those two really would've made a great couple, at some point in another life and he understood why his dad wanted to see the two of them together. HE, on the other hand, of course wanted to see no such thing.  
"Now, you listen to me good, Boy. No matter what she says to you, you remember how me and your Mom raised you," Dwight told him.  
"Okay..." Sam said, looking confused at Mercedes as she purposefully tousled Stacey's hair all over her head with one of his big hands.  
"Sammy!" She cried out and shoved the hand away. "Jonesy just fixed my hair just right!" Stace had various shades of purple streaks altogether on her head to make one big purple rainbow streak, and some zebra print extenstensions.  
"Yeah, I could tell her work was afoot, here," he said, with a smile as he helped his sister straighten her locks back.  
"And, when I turn 18, she's gonna give me my first tat," Stacey said, excitedly.  
"Come on, Stace," Mary said, interlocking her arm with her daughter's and leading her out, patting Sam on the arm with her free hand.  
Sam let out a breath and joined Jonesy on the couch, "God, they made me more nervous than I was on the drive here. And this table - it makes me nervous. My mom's made all of my favorites... The Incredible Hulk cupcakes... I haven't seen these since that time when she and Dad thought that they were going to get a divorce..." He stroked a hand through his hair and took a deep breath, "What is it, Jonesy?"  
"I guess its best for me to just tell you. I don't know how you'll respond, but however you respond, it'll be better for me once I get it off my chest and out of my system..." He became more and more nervous with each word. Had she done something? Oh God - did she forgive Finn? Was she gonna start things back up with him? Worst case scenarios flooded his entire mind, but nothing he was thinking would prepare him for what she actually said next. "I'm pregnant." She reached for one of the cupcakes and began to pinch the green swirled icing off of it, anxiously.  
"You... you... when did you start doing stuff again? I thought that after what happened..."  
"It's Finn's," she clarified and began to actually bite skin off her her lips with her nervousness as she saw all of the color flush from Sam's face and get replaced by an awful greenish hue.  
"Oh my God," he managed, softly. But, then, more pained, he repeated, "Oh my GOD!" She set the cupcake down, suddenly concerned by the tears that he seemed unable to control from falling from his eyes. "Oh, Jonesy, Baby... I am so sorry!" He crumbled, toppled over and began crying into his palms. She moved closer to him and rubbed his back. "NO!" She heard him groan, but he didn't shake her off. "I should've been there. I should have protected you. I should have followed him. I should have stopped him..." He was unleashing into his hands in a muffled, sobbing voice.  
She shook her head, now more worried about him than she was stressed out about things. The worse was over, or at least, the secret was out... but Sam's reaction broke her entire heart. She hated seeing him like this. She never had before and never thought that she ever would! "Sam," she said, softly, and rubbed his back. He was practically howling as he cried.  
Now, Mary opened the door and started to come to him, but when he set up, she paused and covered her mouth with both hands. "I heard my boy crying and I came running. Do you need anything?"  
"How could I let this happen?" Sam began repeating, over and over. Mercedes shook her head at Mary as she took one of Sam's hands from his face and held it dearly in both of hers. Mary sighed and left the room, trying not to rush to her son and wrap him in her arms. They needed alone time. Sam shook as he cried and Mercedes forced his head to her shoulder. She had never had to comfort him this way before. He had his emotional moments. She had seen him cry a few times, but never like this. The way that he was sobbing and shaking terrified her. She almost wanted to simply apologize to him and get out of his life forever... but she couldn't leave him like this. She couldn't walk away after bringing all of this shit into his world.  
"It wasn't your fault, Sam and it wasn't mine. Finn made his choices and neither of us could have guessed nor prevented him from doing it. Now, all we can do is live past what happened. We have to, or he'll always have power over us and that's what he would want. Power over others."  
Sam sniffled and sat up again and clapped his hands together once. "I'll help you with this. I'll help to fix it. We won't ever have to think about him or any of this, one day. I'll do whatever you need. We can find a place out here. That might be easier than waiting until we get back to Ohio. I'll research it today. I'm sure that there's somewhere that you can get in quietly, without an appointment..."  
At first, she presumed that he was rambling, but the more he talked, the more she heard. He was the one presuming. She thought the worse was over when she admitted her condition, but she had just seen that the worse had possibly just began. Oh, God... this might break him. She began to cry, herself, sad about what she knew that she needed to do, but this was it. There could be no more secrets between she and Sam. If she really wanted to be the woman that she always wanted to be - healthy, happy, maybe somewhat normal, if never fully, she had to start being honest with the people she loved, with the man she loved, with her best friend. "Sam.. I'm not going to do that."

He stared at her, confusion and thought processing covering his face. His eyebrows would not stop twitching and his eyes were focused really hard on something, elsewhere, until he finally mustered the comprehension to say, "You... You're thinking of letting it... of... keeping it?"  
"That is my intention," she said, softly, looking him right in the eyes, as she did. The torrent of Oh my God began again and he shook his head, until she cupped his face and told him, very sternly, but kindly, "Sam, let me explain it to you, please?" He shut his eyes tightly and let more tears fall, but nodded his head. She was making a huge mistake, but he would hear her out, then; he would try to help her see reason.

_Mercedes collected her hair into two ponytails. She had long braids that fell to the center of her back and tied them up high with purple and gold rope like ribbon. She was going to go out with Tina and a couple of ladies that Tina knew to celebrate Tina's freedom from her ex-boyfriend, Artie. The two of them had been having a few problems and Tina cheated on the guy, but it seemed like they'd both get over it, as Artie was interested in Brittany and the two of them seemed like they hit it off, alright. Tina had on one of her goth get ups and Mercedes was rather punked out, with her spiked and studded accessories on overload. _  
_They met up with Brittany and Santana and had drinks and went dancing. At some point in the night, Jonesy's "ex," Nick approached and asked, "Why aren't you at the tattoo shop?"_  
_"I'm off!" She snapped, rolling her eyes, as she did._  
_"I don't remember giving you the night off," he said._  
_"You didn't. I just took it, because I'm not one to give a fuck tonight. I'm out with my girls. Why aren't YOU at the shop, if its so important to you?" She asked. Brittany and Santana seemed amused, but Tina wasn't about that. She knew Nick well enough. _

_Even though Jonesy never said anything, she noticed bruises and shit, when the two of them were sleeping together. She wondered why she stayed on the job, knowing that he was her boss. Jonesy told her that she worked too hard to become a tattoo artist. She made good money and she loved her customers and wasn't gonna let some fucked up history with Nick counter all of that. "Come talk to me, in private, please?" He asked._

_"Uh uh! No, no, Sir!" Tina said, waving her finger at him. "My girl is out with me tonight celebrating my freedom and you need to go celebrate yours, too and have a good fucking night, Mister."_  
_"Mercypuss," he cooed, in her ear and pressed against her to let her preview the erection in his pants._  
_"I'm gonna talk to him for a bit," she told Tina and rushed off with the athletic blond. Tina glared at him, but hell, what could she do?_  
_Nick waited until the two were alone and slammed Mercedes against the wall. She smiled at him, for a moment, then glared and shoved at him, but he kept pressing her, overpowering her and restraining her. It drove her crazy. Nick always drove her so crazy. He was like a pro at this thing. When she met him, he had been a dominant for a while, and though she had never been a submissive before, he certainly taught her the ropes and taught her rope play. She smiled again. "You were a naughty girl back there, provoking me in front of your friends. Pretending to try to impress them." He nuzzled his nose against her ear as she apologized and begged him to forgive her and have mercy on her. "How about cranberries?" He asked._  
_"I love cranberries," she said and nodded._  
_"Cranberries it is," he said and lifted her leg up, ripping her tights beneath her dress forcefully..._  
_Jonesey returned to her party, disheveled. She looked like she'd been fucked and fucked up and Tina saw bite marks on her and even blood. "Girl, what happened?" She asked._  
_"Nothing to worry about, T. I promise," Jonesy answered and ordered herself a drink as she used her now removed tights to ten to the blood and sweat on her neck. It wasn't wise to get back involved with Nick. She knew that much. He had tapped into her rape fetish and while she had already tried to see a couple of doctors about it, to no real results, he didn't see anything wrong with it, or her, at all. He nourished it and cherished it. He helped her with it. She felt safe under his control. She knew that that might sound absurd if she ever admitted it, but she couldn't help it. Nick did something to her. He was rough, forceful, but caring, generous. He was something like perfect and she always found herself levitating back to him._

_After that, she found herself a bit out of pocket, off kilter. She and Nick started having sex again, and when her body began changing, she immediately thought the worse.. or maybe it was the best. Nick had a couple of kids, already, but he'd mentioned a few times before that Jonesy would make a great mom and that he wouldn't mind at all if he got her pregnant... That time looked like it was current._  
_She had all of the symptoms. Her body was behaving and changing exactly as it should be. She had to make an appointment with a doctor, and she needed to take a test. The test was positive and she and Nick started having discussions and trying to make plans. She didn't want to tell her friends until she had all of the details from the doctor, but everyone around work knew, because, well... Nick was making a big deal out of everything that she could and couldn't do, now. It would be a few weeks before the doctor could take her in, so she had to be careful and try to keep her cool in the meantime, despite wanting to choke the life out of Nick!_  
_They went into the appointment and she had these tests and the doctor searched... but she insisted that there was no pregnancy. When she began to explain to Jonesy the characteristics of Psedudocyesis (false pregnancy syndrome), Jonesy barely heard a word that she was saying. She saw the disappointed look on Nick's face, even though he was nodding, in understanding at the doctor and rubbing her hand and she pulled her hand free and shook her head, leaving the office._  
_Nick tried to help her, calm her down, make her feel better, but it was like.. she was no longer receptive to his voice. "I IMAGINED that I was pregnant, Nick. For nearly two months, I IMAGINED the entire thing!" She cried._  
_"Yeah, Baby, I know. But, its not like you did it on purpose. You had no control over that and your body was reacting and responding in the normal way of a pregnancy..."_  
_"This is sick and crazy and wrong. I don't know why I thought that I would ever be mother... like the universe would ever condone it... like God would ever allow it..."_  
_"Mercedes, none of that stuff has anything to do with it. You simply suffered from a condition, temporarily and now, it has passed and you'll be fine and we can try it later on..." he offered._  
_"Yeah, naw. I'm not gonna try it. This is the second time that I let myself get my hopes up about this and I won't do it again and also, our relationship is kind of fucked up and I can't do IT anymore, either."_  
_"Ok," he said, with an understanding smile. He wasn't buying a bit of her shit. She was always breaking things off with him and she always came back to him. He'd give her a moment to cool down, then he would snap his finger and she would be at his side, begging and wanting. "i'll see you at work, then," he told her._  
_"I quit," she told him. He chuckled and nodded. She left. He didn't chase her, beg her, or question her... and she wasn't bullshitting, this time. Jonesy left him, for good and stayed away._  
_Ever so often, she would get hit with baby fever. Every now and then, she would envision what her life would have been like if she HAD been truly pregnant and if she had not been forced to abort her first pregnancy. But more frequently, she wondered - will it ever happen? She loved seeing people's kids for a moment, until the realization that she might never have her own set in and that love quickly faded into bitterness. She would shun being around kids and babies, insisting that they made her irritable. That was only a part of it. They made her feel disgruntled. They stirred up memories. _  
_She would think of the children that she didn't have. Then she would think of the relationship that she didn't have. The relationships that she used to have and the things that her body did instead of giving birth and she would get into a state of depression and anger. It was easier to keep away from little ones. None of her friends had kids. She didn't have boyfriends. She had sex and she moved on. She didn't get attached, too much and she didn't fall in love, easily._  
_She went to see a doctor to see if there was something that could be done about preventing this from happening again, and basically was told that there wasn't. So, she decided that she didn't care anymore. She went through life as though she did - sought out a new job and worked it to the best of her ability. Found new hobbies to pursue - decorating jeans and making jewelry - and went through processes to keep herself busy and entertained. When her lease was up, she moved in with Sam, who had no idea of the things that had been going on with her and she liked his company. They could be a couple of crazy kids together without all that extra drama, and she never mentioned to him EVER about her qualms and fixations when it came to be a mom._

Sam sighed and shook his head. He remembered Nick mentioning that Jonesy had disappeared on him. He remembered how Nick trie to play it off like he didn't care, but the guy seemed pretty concerned about her. Sam said, "It.. really sucks that you've gone through that kind of stuff, Jonesy... but that doesn't mean that you need to punish yourself further. The rape fetish the bondage shit with Nick, the stuff with Finn - those were all ways that you set yourself in to try to punish yourself because you think that you don't deserve good things. You don't have to hold on to a baby that is gonna be a constant reminded of what Finn id to you. You deserve better than that, Mercedes and I promise that I will be there every step of the way to help you to deal with this. Don't do it to yourself."  
Mercedes now reached for the played over cupcake and actually bit it as she let Sam continue to talk. "I love you. You are my best friend. I don't want to have to see you go through that, but I swear, I will be here for you for whatever you decide."  
"I've decided," she said.  
"But.. why? I mean, I heard everything that you said. You want it, really badly, but do you really think that this is the way that it should be for you? Jonesy, we could handle this situation, and if you just want a baby that bad, hell I'LL give you a fucking baby. This is completely insane. THAT would give Finn control. That would keep his foot in the door and I know that he'll try to fight you for it and just take you through more shit. If not, how are you going to look a kid in the face everyday that you know came from something like what happened between the two."

Mercedes put down the cupcake and said, "THIS is why I keep my matters personal. Nobody respects my decisions. Nobody thinks that I am capable of making a decision or at the very least, they think that I don't think deeply enough to make my decisions. Do you really think that I haven't considered EVERYthing that there is to consider?"

"I seriously think that you may be going through a traumatic time while you're trying to make a very grave decision. I wouldn't be a good friend if all I did was support everything that you decide to do. A real friend lets you know when you're fucking up, Jonesy!" He argued.  
"A real friend tries to help. I get that," she said and sighed, reaching for his hand again. "I'm sorry. I understand how it must look from where you are, and also.. I think that I just really realized something... You went through this with me, but you haven't gotten any kind of assistance with it. I think that maybe you should come to therapy with me."  
"Is therapy where you decided that you should have a baby made from violence?" He asked.  
"Therapy is where I learned that Finn tried to make me a victim, but instead, I am a survivor. And this would be baby is a survivor, too! She's not gonna be another one of his victims!" She said, with teary eyes. He'll have NO MORE victims anywhere around these parts."  
Sam sighed and wiped his hand down his entire face and shook his head, "What the hell can I say? This is your decision."  
"You can make a decision, too. Do you want to get help? Do you want to get over this and try to be a functional person again? I won't feel right if I get better and you don't. I did bring you into this, when I called myself your friend. You were serious about that and you've done right by me in that regard. I want to do right by you too. I want to build on our friendship. I want to be the friend that I should have been all along, if you'll still have me and I want... I want you to get better. I want us to get better and be better, together."  
"I... Mercedes... I am not going to see any kid that you let become the same way that you will..." he said.  
"Maybe not, but hell.. will you at least try to see her as mine? Finn doesn't have shit to do with what this might become. I want him OUT of everything. Out of our thoughts, out of our plans. I will take to my grave that this baby is not his, if it ever were to come up. If it ever did, this is Dave's baby." She shrugged her shoulders.  
"They actually have tests to prove and disprove such things."  
"Yeah, and Dave and I have already had the tests done and we have the paperwork to prove it," she said, raising an eyebrow. He stared at her and she explained, "Azimio is a master at falsified documentation and you've seen that I don't mind lying to protect what I care about."  
"Jonesy..."  
"I can't ask you to accept my decision. That isn't your burden. All I'm letting you know is that we won't be able to work on our friendship, otherwise. Maybe its a good thing for you to not have to worry about me as a friend, but I'm going through with this. I'm willing to do everything that it takes to help you with it, if we're gonna be friends."  
"What if you regret it? What if you hate it?" He asked.  
"Then, I'll be responsible enough to give her up," Mercedes admitted, with a nod.  
"I'm... proud of you. You seem so... certain of everything," he said. 'of course, I'll work on whatever with you. I love you, Jonesy. I'm gonna do what it takes for you to be happy."  
"I'll be happy when we've both gotten better," she said and intertwined her fingers with his as she rested her head on his shoulder.  
"Why do you keep calling it a her?"  
"Why do you keep calling her an it?" She asked.  
"Smartass," he said.  
"Dumbass," she retorted. Within moments, he heard her breathing peacefully and he knew that she had fallen asleep. He also knew that she probably had not slept peacefully in a while. He repositioned her and tried to lay her down, but she clutched him and he didn't have the heart to remove her. Sigh, she needed him to be the friend that he wanted to be. He didn't agree with her decision, but she was committed to it and he was going to support her, go to therapy, whatever it took...


	15. Chapter 15

**Don't Make Me Over 15**

The noise of all of those wretched guilty thoughts had faded and the throbbing in his head was going down, thanks to standard migraine pills and a bit of Mary's fare. Sam had calmed down and though the pain in his chest was fierce, the pain in his head was subsiding. They were lying down in Stevie's old bed, staring at each other. There were two beds in the room, for whenever Sam came to visit, since he'd never had a room in their Kentucky house (they couldn't afford extra rooms at the time and he moved out before they could; so they never moved into a bigger space). She looked extremely thoughtful, but he couldn't tell what she must be thinking. All that he knew was that there was no disdain nor judgment in her eyes and he cherished that fact.

"What are you thinking about?" He finally asked, so softly that he almost couldn't hear himself, but she obviously heard him just fine.  
"The future," she said. Before he could speak again, she turned to lie on her back and began rambling, "Like - I think about what if Unique gets her own show and I go on the road with her as her personal makeup designer. That's what I want and what I intend to do. It'll make a lot of things much easier and it will be great having the experiences with a glamorous new life, lifestyle changes and different scenery. My kid will grow up away from people who might sideeye her just for being mine. I won't even have to deal with the what ifs as far as Finn is concerned..." Sam groaned when she said the name. She paused, then continued, "It would be a perfect opportunity for me, and for the kid." She turned on her side to look at him again, "But I can't help but wonder, what about you?"

Sam stared back at her for a while, then finally answered, "Jonesy, you've been planning on getting the hell out of Lima for years. I always knew that and I've always known that when you do, it'll be for something great. Since the Unique opportunity came along, I've been your biggest cheerleader and that ain't changing, Woman." He gave her a forced smile and said, "If you're wondering if I'll be alright seeing you go and watching you become a new person without me, well, all I can say about that is that I'll love you no matter what and distance won't change it; but I wouldn't try to hold you back for my own security."  
"It was more... I was wondering.. I mean - I know that you have the band and you guys are trying with that for it to get off of the ground and blow up.. but, I was wondering if my best friend might come along with me?" She asked, fiddling with her hands, as she did. Sam reached out with one of his to stop hers both and caught her eyes into his own gaze.  
"You want your best friend there to support your work, or you want Sam there to be with you?" He asked.  
"I don't know, yet," she said, honestly. "I hope that doesn't alter your answer, because I won't lie to you, Sam. I will never lie to you or keep secrets from you, ever again. I feel like for the first time, I have a best friend who doesn't have someone or something more important than me and I'm sorry that I never fully understood and appreciated that. I want to build on our friendship, the way that I always should have before I get into anything else. But, I will say this, if I was to decide that romance should be a part of my life, there is no one else but you that I would even think to consider." She bit her lip, feeling hot in the face and embarrassed, like she was saying too much and making herself appear weak... Sam pulled one of her hands to his lips and kissed it.  
"Jonesy, I don't have shit holding me to Lima, if you aren't there. I'm gonna go anywhere with you, Jones. Whether I'm the best friend or your personal slave," he chuckled when she furrowed her eyebrows at that. "Just saying, I'm not completely dismissive to being your boy toy while you're a successful career woman and I'm a stay at home dad..." She began to laugh out loud as the tears came out and hoped that she could pass them off as laughter tears. They were joyful, but more of a release of some of the fear she had been holding inside. She wiped her face with her free hand and squeezed his hand with the other one, which he still held.  
"And if things don't work out with Unique and I'm trapped in Lima..." She started.  
"Nonsense. If things don't work out, we can always come back here. I mean, I know it'd be small to begin with, but my family is your family and I really don't want you to have to stay in Lima, especially if my godchild is gonna be kept. That kid doesn't need the stigma of all of the stuff that you've kept inside over the years. I'll start saving up now, as a matter of fact. By the time you're nearing the giving birth time, we dash out and send all of our homies postcards with the newborn pics." Mercedes moved closer to Sam and rested her head on his chest, not saying anything, but holding him tightly. He knew what she couldn't say and he also knew that if he gave her time and continued to care for her, she eventually would be able to admit it.

Mercedes furrowed her eyebrows and pouted her lips as she came into Unique's studio, hearing horrendous singing ringing through the place. When she found the source, she saw Unique sitting in her chair, ready to be made up, watching a skinny white girl brutally destroy Hey Big Spender. What in the actual hell? She set her kit down on the counter and stared at Unique, who seemed wholly entertained by the performance, until the girl was finished and Unique clapped her hands, laughing with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Sugar - you always delight me with your singing!" She cheered. Now, Mercedes shook her head. That's a damn shame. "Have you met my make up genius, Jonesy?" Unique asked.

The lady, Sugar, threw her jacket over her shoulder and announced, "No autographs, please. I'm pressed for time and I would need to clear all of these things with my agency to even dream of it!"

Mercedes looked at her like she was out of her monkey ass mind. "I'm sorry, but who are you, again?" she asked, opening her kit, wearing a confused scowl.  
"I am Miss Sugar Motta. I am being called the Star of Lima."  
"Great accomplishment," Mercedes said sarcastically, causing Unique to snort as she covered her face with a hand.  
"Isn't it?" Sugar retorted, not even realizing the joke. "I am a pop sensation. I have had the best teachers in the entire city and I am even better than all of them, even if you combined their talents," she said and Unique toppled over with laughter. "Unique is the only diva in the entire city who I am willing to put on private shows for, and that's because she finds such joy in my singing. When she has her show, I'll sing the theme song..."  
"Oh?" Mercedes asked, looking at Unique. who was now choking into a frilly handkerchief. Unique caught her breath and waved Mercedes towards Sugar with both hands. Mercedes laughed and said, "Miss Motta, the Diva Unique will excuse you now, so that you may tend to your um.. busy schedule..." Sugar smiled and began to exit dramatically as Unique and Mercedes both exploded into tears with laughter. "You are so damned wrong for having that woman come in here to laugh at," Mercedes said, opening her kit.  
"I needed something. I got a call that made me as nervous as me in a church. Girl... I got a call claiming to be from THE QUEEN'S people, expressing her interest in me coming to visit her and pitching my show idea directly to her," Unique said, then reached for the bottle of champagne she had resting in a bucket of ice on her counter.  
"Naomi Campbell?" Jonesy asked, excitedly and clenched her fists together in anticipation.  
Unique shoved the bottle back into the ice and lifted both hands to the heavens. "As gifted as the supreme lady Naomi is, Unique swears before Gaia, as voiced by Whoopi Goldberg, that if Jazzy Jonesy does not know of whom Unique speaks when Unique references THE QUEEN, she can pack up the make up and sashay away!"  
"OH!" Jonesy cheered, then began jumping up and down in place, "Rupaul!" Unique jumped out of her seat as well and they both began jumping up and down and holding hands, talking at the same time about how amazing this was. "Bitch, you should've told me that in the first place. I need to be mapping out the makeup scheme!" Jonesy said, reaching for the makeup scrapbook journal that she was now keeping for her unique Unique creations.  
Unique began to cry, "Girl, what if she doesn't like it. What if I'm not fabulous enough? Oh my Gaga - you have no idea how tense I have been all morning!"  
"OF COURSE, you have! This is what you've been waiting for!" Jonesy cheered.  
"First, she'll have a rep to swing by here and check out my studio and one of my shows, and if the rep is pleased, I'll have the chance to go to LA and meet her, herself. I might get to be a screener for the show, AND if I do and if she's pleased with me there, I will have the chance to talk to her about the Unique Diva Experience!" Unique rubbed her hands together and squinted her eyes, "i have worked so hard, from being the first transvestite in Lima to perform on a high school stage in drag, to becoming a local celebrity with state VIP status... I feel like I deserve this chance, Jonesy."  
"You do, Girl. And, I'm not just sya9ing that because I wanna go to LA, too. I honestly mean it. I have watched you bust your ass the past few months, so I can only guess that you've been doing that for the years that you've been working towards your goals. I think it was even smart of you to stay in a place like this until you got noticed, instead of rushing to the big city and falling between the cracks like a lot of folks do when they want to be stars."  
"My social networking sites are going nuts right now, tweeting, reblogging, liking my status - all that shit behind me possibly meeting THE QUEEN. I feel like the Universe has opened a door and a heavenly, motherly voice has said, 'Come forth, Unique, with your fabulous ass and wurk, Bitch, wuuuurrrrkk!'" Jonesy laughed as Unique's hands flew into the air again and she continued, "And when the gates open and I see that road before me, all I want to do is enter into my destiny... Just. Like. THIS." Unique put on her best glam face and began to do her runway walk forward, while Jonesy smiled brightly at her and watched her cut up, for a moment, posing.  
When Unique sat down, she was all smiles. "Girl, let's figure out what the hell we gonna work out for BOTH OF our makeup."

She was going to be perform many roles for Unique throughout the course of everything. It was a great distraction and helped Mercedes to sift out the things in her life that she no longer cared to have there. She was rebuilding her friendships with her real friends and MOST of her acquaintances thought that her baby was Sam's so... there was that...

Sunday, around the time that Mercedes knew that church would be over, she made her way to the house that she wondered if her parents even still lived in. The car in the driveway was one that she was not that she was familiar with, but enough time had gone by since the last time that she was here that there was probably a new vehicle or two. She sighed and got out of her car, clutching her purse tightly, nervously and making her way up the walkway.  
She decided on no makeup, a pair of comfortable jeans that were all painted on and a bit ripped in some places, and a shirt with open sleeves, but the closer she got to the house, the more insecure she felt in that choice. She was about to be picked apart... she could already feel it. Hell... why was she even here, she wondered as she got to the doorstep and absently knocked on the door with the door knocker.  
When the door opened and Mercedes saw her mother holding a small girl in her arms, she stared at the toddler in confusion. The woman stared at Mercedes, wearing a similar expression, confused to see her daughter, but not seemingly angry or disgusted. She had the same features as always and stepped back to allow Mercedes some room to enter, still wordless. The small girl that Mrs. Jones was holding reached out to Mercedes and Mercedes accepted her, happily. "Hi! And just who might you, be, you little cutie?"  
"That's Maserati," Mrs. Jones said, "Your sister that you never bother to come see."  
"Oh, you mean my sister that I didn't know existed until this moment," Mercedes shot right back.  
The girl appeared to be about three years old. Mercedes knew it had been probably 5 years or so since the last time she'd run into her mother in the whole foods store while shopping with Jesse when he was in town. Oh, so the two of you are still at it these days? The older woman had said and they had gotten into an argument within moments, just like it seemed like they were about to do.  
Her mother sighed and asked, "How is Jesse?"  
"He's good. He lives in New York and is very successful in his field of work. He still comes into town for holidays and stuff, to see his parents," Mercedes said as Maserati leaned into her, listening to her heartbeat.  
"She's entirely too friendly. She goes to anyone. I remember you being the exact same way as a baby. Back then, I was too young to care and times were so different than they are now." The woman quickly collected the toddler back. "She's 29 months. There were some complications, with me having her at 46, but she pulled through just fine."  
"She looks like you," Mercedes said, with a smile. The small girl had her mother's light colored eyes and facial features. "Where is dad?"  
"Where he always is - wherever I'm not," her mom said with a sad smile. Mercedes reached for a family photo of the three of them, when she was a baby. Framed in a double frame of the three of the new family. Her mother looked exactly the same, with the exception of a change in demeanor. Her father looked... miserable. The baby on the left that was her was with two happy parents. The poor baby on the right was in for a long, hard ride. "Why are you here?" Mercedes heard her mother ask her. She placed it down and folded her arms.  
"My therapist thought that some closure with you might be helpful for me in dealing with my most recent stuff," Mercedes said. Her mother placed the toddler on the floor, but the girl walked right over to her older sister and was quickly retrieved from the floor. "I've been in therapy for a few months, recently started group and couples therapy, as well."  
"Oh? You're involved with someone? I don't know whether to be happy or worried about that fact. You've never been that great at making sound romantic choices." She took her smallest daughter again and went to put her in her playpen. Mercedes knew that meant that she was probably about to start talking ugly to her. "What happened to get you to decide to go to therapy?"  
"I was raped," Mercedes said. She saw her mother's eyebrows furrow together. "Yes, again, and it was a far cry worse than the last time." Mercedes watched as her mother's shoulders dropped and her head fell.  
She had never seen the woman look like that, in all of her life. She went to have herself a seat and seemed unable to catch her breath. "Did you go to the police this time?" She asked, in a low voice.  
"I called when he was busting the door down, right before I got thrown all across my living room, and they arrested him that night for it. The rest of it, I felt was pretty much pointless. I mean - you know how it went down the first time and lets not kid ourselves into thinking that I was a more sympathetic victim the next time around."

Her mother got up from the kitchen island and went into the adjoint living room to pull something out of the drawer of one of her cabinets for awards, photos and figurines. "I had to do some real soul searching after you left home. I know that I wasn't the best mother that you could have had, but I always thought that I was doing what was best for our family, as whole. After that shit with your teacher, I was hoping that you would slow down, rewind and be more careful. You seemed to get more reckless."

"What stuff with the teacher?" Mercedes asked. They didn't know about that. They couldn't have...  
Her mom came to her with a box, set it down and opened it. She saw random objects, a tape, some newspaper articles, photos of herself. "When you had your procedure and you were medicated, you started babbling about how you couldn't believe that he was doing this to his own baby. I researched some things, made some calls, even hired professionals. I found out about you and Schuester... I know that it was him that got you pregnant."  
"Why didn't you say anything?" Mercedes asked, furiously. How long had this bitch known the truth?  
"Why didn't you?" Mrs. Jones asked. "If I had known what happened, instead of what he'd led me to believe, don't you think that I might have handled you differently? When the stuff happened with the therapist, I will admit that I didn't believe you, at first. You had already made sexual advances at one of your shrinks before and you had a history of doing some extremely sexually questionable things. But, as time went on and I saw how it all was affecting you, I knew that you would tell the truth if that would stop the frenzy... but you stuck with the story, and I came to believe you."  
"Then, why would you make me feel so horrible? You acted like I was lying. You acted like I was bringing shame to your family by speaking up about what happened to me."  
"Mercedes, you have never made it easy on us to look after you. You always thought that you were so clever. You always thought that you were so tough. You ALWAYS tried to take on everything alone and rarely ever asked us for anything or told us anything that we might be able to use n order to assist you. We were left with no choice but to handle you with limited knowledge to the best of everyone's benefit. What would you have had me to do differently?"  
"To be my fucking mother! To let me know that EVEN if I HAD messed up, even if it WOULD HAVE BEEN my fault that you were still there for me! To at least let me know that I was loved... or were you so pissed off at me that you had to quit college, while dad was able to continue? That he was able to get his degree and his career, but it was harder for you, because there weren't the opportunities then for pregnant women and young mothers to be able to go to college? Were you mad at me that he married you, even though you two didn't get along for shit? Or were you mad that here I was, being loved and cherished by him while you two were simply going through the motions?"

The women shut the box and folded her arms, "Your father did love me and even if he hadn't, I wouldn't have been mad at you for that. I made the choice to get married and become a mother at 19. I made my mistake when I got pregnant, but I owned up to it."  
"But, you wouldn't let me do the same thing when it happened to me? You had no right to decide that I couldn't own up to my mistake, too."  
"You're wrong about that. I did have the right and I exercised it. If you think for one moment that it was ever easy for me to provide you with the tough love that I thought you needed in order to be a functioning and respectable citizen., then you're wrong."  
"We SEE how well those practices worked out. I am so functional that I am in therapy for most of my week. I barely see paychecks anymore. I can't afford my half of my damned bills trying to get fixed."  
"You could have asked for help, sooner. How much do you need?" She said.  
"That isn't the point..."  
"No!" Her mother snapped. "There IS NO point! You are here to tell me everything that I did wrong and to blame me for who you ultimately became. You can say what you want, but I never handled you with malice nor evil. You can love someone completely and still be disgusted by some of the things that they do. You can care about people and still express disappointment when they disappoint you!" She screamed at her daughter. "Everything I DID was to protect you or to help you and you had to try to always undermine me and try to do things your way and YOU always fucked up." She pointed her finger right at Mercedes' face. "You were strong enough and smart enough to pick up the pieces and move forward. You chose not to. You chose to reject the psychiatric help that we paid for. You chose to do everything that you thought would break me and I hate that the world fucked you over while you were being irresponsible. But, don't presume because you're finding yourself that means that you can psychoanalyze me and my actions. I love you. You are my daughter and I have always loved you!"  
"Tough love... The thing about that is there comes a time when you forget the love part and just continue with the tough. You were tough on me from the time I hit puberty to the day that I left this place. I can't even tell you the last time that you said to me that you loved me..." Mercedes wiped her eyes and said, "And that was all I wanted. I made a lot of my mistakes looking for love or something like it - something that might be, even if it didn't even seem like it, something that could be dressed up as it, even if it didn't look like it. And, to answer your question, the reason that I'm here is because, as you said - didn't tell you what I needed or wanted. I thought that what I really needed would be obvious to someone if they really had it for me. I needed to be loved."  
She shook her head and hugged herself, "I'm not here to get that now. I feel like its too late for that. But, I will say this - do better with her." She nudged her head at the toddler in the playpen who had not even been distracted by the fussing in the next room. "You be the kind of mom to her that I missed out on in our lost in translation relationship." She began heading for the door, and even though she said that it was too late for love, some part of her wanted her mom to reach out and touch her, rub her arm, pat her back, hug her, something...  
But she made it all the way to the door without so much as an "ok" from the woman. She glanced at her pretty baby sister and waved a hand at her. The girl waved back as Mrs. Jones collected her from the playpen and began walking towards her bedroom as she called out. "There is also family counseling. I know that would be more on your plate, but maybe we should have always tried that. Maybe I shouldn't have assumed that you alone were the problem." She came from the room with a roll of money and handed it to her, "Let me know if you need any other help."  
"I didn't come here for money," Mercedes growled.  
"I know that you didn't... But, as I'm sure you've noticed, I don't have much else that I know how to give you." A tear fell down her cheek and Maserati wiped it. She kissed the girl's hand.  
"Mom..."  
"Just take it. If you don't want it, you can throw it in the ditch or something. I just... I can never make up for any of the things that you just said to me. I just wish that I had more clarity earlier." Other tears fell. "You want to come by again sometime? I'll make sure that your dad is here. I know that it couldn't have been easy for you to stay away from him for the sake of staying away from me. You two were such pals once."  
"Yeah, that kinda ended when he always sat in silence while you attacked me with everything you had. Silent cop, Bad cop isn't very helpful. I... You really would consider counseling?"  
"I helped to tear down a girl that I was supposed to be raising..."  
"I don't think that I can stomach any more counseling. But, if we can just have talks, like this... that's therapeutic, too," she said, fiddling with her purse.  
"Okay. Call your dad and talk to him. He's miserable... and I want to meet the young man that you're in couples therapy with. He's blond, right? Tall?" When Mercedes made a confused face, she said, "I may have seen you more times around town than I've said anything to you about."  
"Its not really couples therapy, but we are two people, so its still called that. We aren't together, but we've been roommates for a few years now." She sighed, "I don't want to bring him around just yet, until we get some things worked out between us. I'll be by again, though. Not often, but enough, I guess. Um.. I really also wanted to make sure that I got these things behind me, because I don't want to harbor that kind of stuff when I go into motherhood... I'm going to have a baby in March."  
Mrs. Jones stared at her, blinking and Mercedes knew that there were all kinds of judgments fluttering through her pretty little head, but she said, "Congratulations..." She squinted, forcing herself not to expound any further. It was killing her, but at least she was trying. "In that case, I would prefer to meet the young man sooner, rather than later."  
"No," Mercedes said and shook her head. "You'll meet him when I'm comfortable with it. We haven't fixed the things that have happened to us by a longshot, Mom. But, maybe I was wrong and it isn't too late. It would take a lot for me to believe that, though. We'll talk again." Maserati reached for Mercedes and she hugged her tightly and then patted her mother on the shoulder. "See you." Mercedes made it all the way to her car before exploding into tears. She had no idea if she was telling the truth or not - if she would be talking to the woman again, calling her father, trying to maybe mend things with either or both of them, but she did know that it was a good hurt to let everything out that she had said and a better hurt to let these tears out in her car before she pulled away.

Mrs. Jones kissed her toddler on the cheek and opened the box she had retrieved to look at a certain newspaper article. She strummed her fingers across the heading: Former Psychiatrist Fights For Life After a Hit and Run... She couldn't stop the tears from hitting the newspaper as she read "Witnesses say it looked like a black woman was driving... dark colored car... seemed to be aiming for him... no suspects..." She wiped her face and put it away, as well as the box.  
After a while, her husband came into the house, and their daughter cheerfully rushed to his big, loving arms. He was always so great with kids. Why she had so much trouble was beyond her, but as she looked at him, playing with their girl, she mustered up enough to croak, "Did Cede call you?" She saw his features tense up as he looked at her. They didn't discuss her, ever. It would start a fight and the fight would be brutal... That was how it usually went. "She came by earlier," she added.  
He came into the room, holding Maserati closely and asked, "For what?"  
His wife opened her mouth to try to tell him how the visit went, but she burst into tears and fell on him, "Marshall, I know how much you hate me, but just don't push me, right now. I'm so tired..."  
He wrapped an arm around her and shook his head, "If I hated you, I would've left a long time ago. Don't overdo it. You know that your health isn't right. Is that why she was here? She find out?"  
"No, no... Just... no." She shook her head and rested in his embrace, with their daughter looking frightened and sad at her behavior.

"So... Stevie wants to come spend a weekend with us," Sam said.  
Mercedes forked through her plate and said, "Oh, that should be pretty sweet. I feel like I haven't seen him in forever. Why did he wait until the semester had started though? He could've came dozens of times during the summer break."  
"No... we had that occurrence in June, so..." Sam said, and cleared his throat, now looking at his plate. "You were not in any condition for company, but now, you seem more up to it."  
"I am!" She said, with a smile. "I'll even get one or more of the girls to keep me company while you two do your thing."  
"That'll be a good idea. I don't want my bro feeling like a third wheel. But, we'll probably just end up going to Puck and Quinn's and hanging with the band and stuff..." She laughed at his mention of Quinn.  
"Remember that time when I helped you dodge that bullet?" She asked.  
He laughed too and shook his head, "So petty."  
"Just saying that it could have been you with cans of tomato soup and goldfish crackers all up in your kitchen. And you know she would have tried to make you get rid of Krueger."  
"Yeah... but I might have to get rid of him anyway, though - with you like you are. I read somewhere that it isn't safe."  
"Well, as long as you wash your hands when you've tended to him and his food or cage, as to not contaminate anything around me, it should be fine," she said.  
"I read that specialists advise not to have reptiles and such near kids before they're five, though. I don't want anything to happen to it, seeing how much you want it."  
"But, we've had Krueger now for three years! He's like our firstborn!" She squeaked.  
"You know, he's short for a Burmese Python, and they can keep growing up through 4 years. He might be 20 feet long by the time a baby is in here and getting a huge new cage and a crib..."  
"Well, we did discuss moving..." She said and forked her food some more. "Maybe we can get a place where he can have a big enough cage for his possible new growth and still be separated from her?"  
Sam smiled, "Look at us, being all domestic and shit!"  
"My baby is gonna have the coolest freaking infancy and childhood ever. She gets to get raised in the house with a big brother snake, already has five godmothers and she'll have yours truly, jazzying up mommahood like its my way of the fabulous life." He laughed at her words and reflexively reached for her hand and stroked it. Mercedes leaned forward and gave him a small kiss on the lips and his breath hitched. He wasn't expecting it and she really wasn't either, but it came so natural. It felt so right. She looked at him and smiled and he gave her a curious look, but returned to his plate and neither of them said anything about what had just happened.


	16. Chapter 16

_For those of you who don't follow me on tumblr, I wanted to let y'all know that my face claims for this story for Stacey is a plus size model named Kris Yeo, for Stevie is Alexander Ludwig –one of them Hunger Games kids, and Jonesy's parents are Forest Whitaker and Stacey Dash. I know that this site doesn't let me include the link to my photosets with the FCs, so I wanted to tell y'all, in case y'all wanted to try to get a mental picture of the people that weren't on Glee._

_(Mary and Dwight Evans are the same Mary and Dwight that were on the show)_

_And I don't know if y'all remember Sheila from that one or two episodes that the Skanks were in, but she's Raven Goodwin. I spend a lot of time in the Glee Minor Characters WIKI when I write fics. Usually going there will tell you who any character that I write is. Grace Hitches, Cameo, Andrea Cohen, and Shadonza (Jonesy's support group sisters) are also actual Glee minor characters._

**Don't Make Me Over 16**

Stevie was never really much for talking a lot to strangers, but Jonesy was one of those kinds of people that his personality couldn't even deflect. From the start, she stirred him up and had him responding more to her than he had with any other stranger and soon, she became a friend to him. He still kept his secrets, but they had wonderful laughs together, despite the fact that he did not warm up easily or talk to many people… he really adored her.

He arrived at the house early in the morning Friday and she was the one to greet him. "Hey! Stevie… I didn't know that you'd be here so early. Sam's at work. Wanna get some breakfast, somewhere?" He rolled his eyes and grabbed her into a hug. "Oh, yeah," she said, awkwardly leaning into the hug. She used to be a lot more affectionate than she had become since Finn. He came inside with a bag and tossed it next to the couch and she got a good look at him. "You look great, Kiddo. What have you been up to?"

"Not getting my head fucked, that's for sure," he said with a smile. "What about you? Mom said that you're pregnant! Congratulations. I know that you've wanted kids, even though you always act like you don't." He smiled and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "So, breakfast, huh?"

She stared at him for a moment, still processing the comment about babies, then rolled her eyes, shook her head and gave him a smile back, "Yeah – breakfast. I don't get up early and cook like Mare, but I will jump in the car in my jammies and not give a damn about folks staring as I sit down and order all the chicken and waffles I can eat."

He chuckled and shook his head as she reached for her thin over shirt and asked herself, "Should I put on a bra? Naw… its way in the bedroom.." She looked towards the bedroom, then sighed and made her way to it. If she didn't wear one, that'd be the day that the air in the diner would be blasting and her nipples would hurt more than they usually did these days. In fact, she grabbed a hoodie, just to be sure, too.

"So… no girlfriend or anything?" Mercedes asked as they looked over the menus.

"No, but I'm not opposed to them. I just hadn't really had a chance to get into the social scene out there. I'd like to be with somebody, but it seems like a bit of a hassle to try to meet people and get to know them and learn to trust them…" He frowned at the menu and Jonesy knew what, or rather, WHO he was referencing. He looked up and asked, "You guys ever see her?"

"I haven't seen that bitch in a while," Jonesy said.

"So, Sammy's honestly not friends with her?" He wondered.

"No. The last time that I know of that he was even considering doing anything with her was before anybody found out about what she was doing to you," Mercedes said. "And after I found that out, I attacked all her shit with a bat. She could try to come around Sam again after that if she wanted to, her person was getting hit next."

He laughed and asked, "What'd you hit with a bat?"

"Her car windows, headlights, tail lights…" She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I have a special kind of hate for molesters, and before you argue that you were old enough and all of that, remember what she was doing to your family."

"I wouldn't defend her, but I did really love her, you know?" Stevie said and shut the menu.

"Yeah, I know. Better than a lot of people. Of course, my situation wasn't like yours," she said. She and Stevie had talked about this before. She told him that she had gone through falling in love with someone older who was using her for sex, but she had not really provided much detail, because he was still heartbroken when they discussed it.

Heartbroken that Kitty got back with Sam when she was "with" him, too… and then they found out that she had blackmailed Dwight into having an affair with her, because she knew about the weed that Mary grew.

Dwight and Mary discussed the situation and agreed that he would keep the affair up long enough for her to properly get rid of all traces of the weed, so that they could kick her to the curb. In the meantime, Sam couldn't know, because if he found out, she might still go to the cops. By the time the mess had cleared, Dwight put pressure on Kitty to break things off with Sam, since she had no more leverage. Even if she had told him what she and Dwight had done, she would have still lost him, anyway, so she dumped him and he was terribly depressed, and admitted to his father that he thought that she had been cheating on him. Sam wasn't one to give up and Kitty loved the attention. She allowed him to chase after her for months before deciding to get back with him, under the condition that they kept it a secret. She told him that his parents had pressured her to dump him and he was angry with them, but he wasn't telling their secret and she purposefully put him through hell… really for no reason, whatsoever and he loved her, so he took it.

By the time he finally had enough, he cut things off with her and admitted to his family that he had been seeing her and how she had been the cause of so much of his depression and anger, at the time. Mary wanted to hunt her down, but was just glad that she was gone. She and Dwight didn't tell him about who she really was. Unfortunately, the heartache that she'd put him through didn't keep him away from her forever. A few years and many exes later, he ran into her and they reconnected on that personal level, despite the disapproval that he knew his parents would have and the dislike from his friends. By that time, he and Jonesy were living together and he knew that Mare had gotten to Jonesy, so he pretty much kept Kitty his personal stuff… and he had no idea that she had been fooling around with Stevie, (who was sixteen) in the meantime – vengeance for Dwight throwing her away and for Mary having Dwight as hers, for them not liking her for Sam, for Sam getting tired of her shit and dumping her, and really just to be the same old bitch that she always was.

Only when Sam and Stevie talked and Sam confessed that he and Kitty had secretly started seeing each other again – nothing exclusive - (and an emotional outburst and breakdown from Stevie later) did everyone find out about everything. Mary for the first time ever that her kids knew of got extremely violent with Kitty. Mary literally tried to kill her. That was when the family found out about what she had done with Dwight, behind Sam's back, before. It was when Jonesy decided that THAT bitch would never EVER get back with or anywhere near Sam. She didn't give a shit if he was a grown man.

She was glad that she had cockblocked that night when she'd snaked him away from her, but when Sam got drunk, he got in his feelings and probably was willing to accept whatever the hell sob story she gave him. After they found out about Stevie, Sam was done with her. Now, here Jonesy and Stevie sat, and there he was, asking about her, about Kitty. The waitress came to the table to take their orders and when she left, Jonesy offered, "I hope you don't mind, I might have some friends around while you and Sam are catching up."

"I don't mind, at all," he said, with a small smile. "I hope YOU don't mind that I'm paying for breakfast."

"But, how are you gonna be my guest and pay for breakfast, though?" She asked.

"Because, I'm gonna be sleeping at your house for a whole weekend and probably using your gas in your vehicle, too," he said. "I knew that I'd have to wait until after you ordered to tell you, because then you would've spent half an hour trying to decide what of the cheapest stuff you wanted to get."

"You sly gentleman," she teased.

Sam came home to find Stevie and Jonesy in front of the computer laughing at youtube videos. She smiled brightly when she saw Sam and Stevie got up to greet him with a hug. "Um… please tell me there's something in your pocket," Stevie said.

Sam chuckled and pulled a small block of wood which Jonesy practically ran over to snatch from him and sniff, deeply. "The baby likes for me to smell cut wood. I go through the lumber department of home improvement stores and sniff the wood," she laughed, "and since he works at one, he just brings these little pieces home, so I won't do that. Last time, somebody paged, 'Sam, your baby's mama is sniffing wood on aisle 19." She laughed heartily and Stevie grimaced. "When the store manager isn't there, they act an ass," she explained.

Sam laughed and said, "I go to the front counter to the girl and look at her and ask, 'Which babymama?' Because I'm thinking she's just talking about one of my exes, and I really didn't want to deal with ANY of them, for obvious reasons…"

"Obviously," Stevie said.

"And she says, 'You have more than one baby on the way?' Like, as loud as she possibly could and these customers turn and look at her ghetto ass, but then look at me, like I'M the bad guy here. Hell, even if I had some babies on the way, that's my damned business. Then, who do I see come her petite ass from around the corner, with a damn 2X4 under her arm and a handful of random paint sample cards in her hand and a big ass shit-eating grin on her face, wiggling with giggles and screaming, 'Oh HELL TO THA NO, she didn't just put me on blast on the loud speaker!' This damned woman…" He shook his head, smiling at her lovingly.

Jonesy cracked up, all over again and added, "And then this sucker says, "Babe, if you wanted to sniff some wood, all you had to do was tell me and I'd bring some home for you."

"I literally meant the lumber wood, though!" He said, full of laughter.

"Everybody was looking at us like, "YOU PERVERTS" And I was just about to kill myself laughing at the whole situation while Sam is red in the face, just shaking his head!" She gave Sam a hug and said, "Thanks for bringing me home some wood, Honey."

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't?" he asked and winked. Stevie smiled at the two of them. He liked seeing this. He couldn't remember ever seeing Sam in love with somebody that was really good for him. And… it was nice to see Jonesy, looking just as in love with him. She'd put on some weight, but Stevie really couldn't tell that she was pregnant yet. But, he was kind of looking forward to being an uncle – not as much as he wanted to be a dad, but unclehood should be pretty cool, too. Sam broke into his thoughts with, "I'm gonna wash up and we'll hit Puck's up and rock out. Got your guitar?"

"Of course," Stevie said, with a smile.

"Excellent. The guys are ready to see you, too," Sam said.

Jonesy went to the couch, sniffing her piece of wood and grabbed the remote. "You going to get ready to go?" Stevie asked.

She shook her head, "I don't really hang out with the gang much, anymore. I can't do much of anything – no drinking or smoking or nothing, so, I kinda end up being a downer. I'm comfy watching Beat Street, Breakin' and Krush Groove," she said.

"Watching WHAT?" He asked, laughing.

"Get your ass out of my house," she told him, with a laugh, as she turned on the DVD player. "On second thought, I need you to put in Beat Street. Its right on top of the DVD player." He went to do so and studied the covers of the DVDs that she was going to watch tonight. "I'm getting in touch with my inner B-Girl tonight, okay?" She asked and waved him out of the way of the TV.

"Should we stay with you?" Stevie asked.

"For what, Sweetie? You didn't even know what these movies were, I know you don't wanna see them," she said, chuckling. "Tomorrow, I'm planning on watching Foxy Brown, Sheba Baby and Coffy…"

"Those are Pam Grier movies!" Stevie said, excited for himself.

"You have redeemed yourself," she told him and patted the seat next to herself for him to sit. "I was gonna watch Purple Rain and Fame, but I thought that I might end up depressed if I combined those to in one night. Everything depresses my ass," she said and chuckled sadly.

"That's why I thought we shouldn't leave you alone," Stevie said.

"Oh, I'll be fine, though…" her phone sounded and she answered, "Rachel? Hey. I was gonna watch movies and become a big ass potato while Sam's out with his little brother. Yeah, Girl. I don't turn down food… wait… you want me to leave my house? No." Jonesy laughed and paused her DVD. "Mmmhmm. Mmmhmm. No. Because we have that garage sale and helping Sheila move thing tomorrow and I don't want to be too tired to bully folks into buying stuff." She laughed again and shook her head, "I guess! Yeah, I'll come out, but just for a bit. But, you're picking me up, AND you are feeding me. You feed me first, too, otherwise, no deal!" She laughed and hung up. "I guess that I am getting out of the house tonight. She better not expect me to go all out. I'm gonna put on some sparkly leggings and a sleeveless turtleneck with a belt and some feathery earrings. I might throw on a little lip gloss, a hint of shadow and mascara and throw my hair into an updo with crystal hairclips."

"Um… that seems like going all out," Stevie said, amused.

"Hmph. You must not know who I am," she commented as she pushed herself up from the couch and went into Sam's bedroom. Stevie sighed and sat in silence, waiting for the two of them. When they came out, Jonesy looked all dolled up, to him, but he knew that she was a far cry from her usual lavishness in making herself up.

He snickered to himself when he saw her still carrying that little piece of wood with her as she and Sam seemed to speak their own language, some in words, some in gestures, some in sounds and at the end of the controlled chaos between them, reaching around each other, handing each other stuff, saying stuff and such, Sam clapped his hands one time and pointed at Stevie, "Grab your instrument, Brovie." Sam grabbed his own from the table, near the computer and Mercedes threw her chunk of wood into a chest that Stevie noticed earlier, but didn't pay much attention to until he saw that it had several pieces of wood in it. Sam explained, "I'm gonna turn them into blocks for the kid, later on. No need to waste it, right?" Mercedes smiled at Sam and went to hug him goodnight and give him a small kiss on the lips. The brothers left and she returned to the computer to wait for Rachel's arrival.

After carrying on with Rachel for a couple of hours, Mercedes got a call from Kurt and they decided to meet up with him and Blaine at the music store. Rachel had some auditions coming up and Mercedes helped her to pick out some make up, buy some beauty proucts and accompanied her to pick out some silly little Rachel like outfit. Now, they were going to get music for her. "Then, I want to go to the bookstore," Mercedes said. "I need to see if they got Lemony Snickett's back in stock."

"Lemony Snickett's Series of Unfortunate Events?" Kurt asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'm building up my kid's library early," Mercedes said.

"Might as well. I'm already designing her clothes," Kurt said, with a shrug. "Aaannd, if she's a boy, instead, well – he'll have fabulous onesies and dresses."

"This baby is going to be so spoiled!" Blaine said, handing Rachel a record. Rachel smiled, sadly and gave Mercedes a sympathetic look that she hated. She was sure that others noticed it and others DID NOT know that this baby was Finn's. Only Rachel, Sam, Tina and her counseling friends knew that much and she wanted to keep that damn circle close and tight and small.

"She'll be heavily loved," Mercedes corrected.

"Mama's already making excuses for spoiling her," Kurt said and playfully elbowed Mercedes.

"I have no regrets," she said. And, on most days, she didn't. When Sam and she had good sessions, when they were on one accord, when her own heart was steady… but then there were other times when she woke up in the middle of the night with worry about everything in the world, everything in her future, everything under the sun… She sighed and commented, "You know, I have been having an awful lot of trouble finding a good copy of a collection of Hans Christian Anderson tales."

"Hans Christian Anderson tales are highly underrated," Blaine commented.

"Are you kidding? They're awful. All fairy tales are. That's why I stick with Disney," Kurt commented.

"But, Broadway musicals…" Mercedes started and held her hands out. Blaine nodded his head. Kurt and Rachel both began to vehemently dissuade negative comments about theatre as Mercedes laughed. "I'm just saying that they're as downtrodden in the feels as old fairy tales. What's more depressing? A mermaid's suicide over unrequited love, or a musical where almost literally everyone in the story has AIDS?"

"They were living with, living with, living with, not dying from disease!" Rachel stormed, singing the portion of Rent's La Vi Boheme, to defend the story.

"At least one of them died from it," Jonesy teased, making Rachel red in the face as she started singing, "Everyone has AIDS. AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS…" from Team America: World Police.

Rachel glared at her and shook her head, "That is just tacky and uncalled for." She stuck her nose up, snatched some music from Kurt and headed for the checkout.

Jonesy sang, "My father," and Blaine chimed, "AIDS," "My sister," "AIDS" "My uncle and my cousin and her best friend," "AIDS, AIDS, AIDS," and they sang, "The gays and the straights and the whites and the spades…"

"Enough, already!" Rachel snapped. "There's nothing funny about AIDS! You two are being unreasonably horrible. And that movie with those vile puppets was disgustingly offensive and unnecessarily crude."

"Rachel – AIDS is not the center of the joke. The song is making fun of Rent and the fact that the characters predominantly have AIDS…"

"THAT'S not funny!" Rachel snapped. "My dads lost a lot of friends to AIDS during the time period in which Rent takes place. It wasn't uncommon for large groups of people to catch it, because there simply wasn't enough information available on it until it was too late for many of them. That song is as offensive as a rape joke is!" Jonesy's eyes widened and she stepped back from Rachel and headed out of the store. "Mercedes, I'm sorry…" Rachel started, but she stepped outside, anyway and waited, pacing as she did, imagining the worse – Kurt and Blaine asking what she meant by saying that and Rachel telling them everything… Rachel came rushing out, carrying her bag and repeated, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that so harshly. I completely stand by the belief, but I could have said it better than I did."

"No biggie," Jonesy said and laughed, uncomfortably as Blaine and Kurt came out, too. "Are we going to go to the bookstore, or…?"

"Yes. Yes, of course," Rachel said and interlocked her arm with Jonesy's. Jonesy was burning up with embarrassment and fury, but they walked to Blaine's car and headed for the bookstore.

Jonesy had gone pretty silent. Kurt and Blaine tried to get her back into her cheerfulness from earlier, but that ship had sailed and even tooted its horn when she saw that the store didn't have the Lemony Snickett's books she needed for the collection. After a while, when they were getting ready to go, she said, "Oh, Sam and Stevie are gonna come get me." Technically, she had to call Sam and ask, but…

"What? I thought we were going to go to the café and indulge in hip spreading baked goods!" Kurt said.

"Next time," she promised and hugged them all goodnight as she found herself a table to settle at with her copy of Peter Pan to read to herself out loud. Stevie came inside and she smiled at him and got up to meet him. They walked to Sam's truck in silence and he helped her inside and climbed into the backseat. "Sorry to call you away. I just ended up in a funk and felt a lot of pressure from Kurt and Blaine to cheer up and I couldn't so it made me all awkward."

"Not a problem, Baby," Sam said and squeezed her knee. "Are you okay, though?"

"We can talk about it later," she told him. "I need to get ready for bed. Got that thing at Sheila's tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah. Stevie, you need the truck for the night? I'm gonna head home for the night."

"I'm spending the weekend with you," Stevie reminded him. "Who is Sheila and what are we doing at her place tomorrow?"

"Sheila is one of my friends and we are having a garage sale and helping her pack and move everything else after the sale is over," Mercedes said.

"Ok… but, are you allowed to move anything, though?" He wondered.

"Nothing heavy. I'm mostly gonna be taking money," she said.

Mercedes' friends were all pretty cool, Stevie thought. Andrea was pretty as hell. Cameo seemed tough as nails. Shadonza was hella funny. Sheila was… interesting… She looked like Mercedes, Stevie noticed, like everyone generally said of them, now that they were friends and did things together, but aside from that, they seemed extremely different. "You need this stuff to go any certain place?" He asked her, lifting a box.

"If you can put it in the moving truck?" She said and smiled, wincing like she was bracing herself for a 'no,' or something. He nodded and smiled smile both shyly and seductively, simultaneously as she vanished outside. He smiled at her walking away with those rocking curves swaying.

After he set the box on the truck, he found Sam, setting some boxes on a dolly and he approached him, "So… Sheila…" he said.

"She's sweet," Sam said, with a nod. "She's got money, moves around a lot, wants to get out of Lima, but she's apprehensive about going somewhere and not knowing anybody. Trust issues…" Sam added, not planning on mentioning how she and Jonesy know each other.

"Yeah, I gathered trust issues. She seems suspicious of me; even though I know that she thinks I'm attractive," Stevie said. "She's got a gorgeous smile, her skin's flawless, and she has babymaking hips. Like, her entire shape cries out for breeding."

"Well… I was not expecting to hear that last part…" Sam said, moving the dolly to cart the boxes outside. "You want babies or something?"

"I want a family," Stevie corrected. "I've been thinking about relationships. I don't want to get into any unless I'm sizing up a wife and mother to my kids. I guess that I don't want to waste my time having casual connections or just seeing where things go for months, only to have them go nowhere."

"So, what – you haven't been sleeping with anyone?" Sam asked.

"Don't be silly. I have a 'friends with benefits' network for physical needs and fun times, but they are exactly that. Friends… with benefits. There is never drama involved and thus far no emotion beyond that of typical good friendships."

"You have a network of friends with benefits?" Sam asked.

"Well, if I only had one – then that would be like having a relationship without the label. I don't want anyone who isn't in the running for wife to be to have any type of confusion on what I think of them," Stevie said.

"That sounds kind of assholish," Sam told him.

"It sounds professional and efficient, because that's what it is. It works out for everyone, because everything is clean cut and straight up." Stevie froze when he saw Sheila bending over a customer's stroller to greet a baby. "She has baby fever," Stevie said.

"I've never heard her mention a baby before," Sam said.

"She doesn't talk to Jonesy about the baby?" Stevie asked.

"Well, yeah, she does…"

"And when she does, does she ever say things like 'I'll have mine one day' or 'I can hardly wait' or 'When its my turn I'm gonna…'?" Stevie wondered.

"Well.. maybe…" Sam said, not really being able to recall for sure.

"Baby fever, child bearing hips, and dat ass," Stevie said. "I'm going to have to get to know this woman."

"Trust issues, Stevie," Sam reminded him as they began to unload the boxes off of the dolly in the back of the truck."

"Yeah, I have those, too," Stevie said, "And I'm worth the time…" Sam sighed. He couldn't tell Stevie about her history, but it was something that could factor in on how she handles him.

"Just be careful," Sam said, "She's not really the kind of woman to jump at the chance of being in the FWB network."

"If you were under the impression that I wanted her to be, you haven't even been listening to me," Stevie said.

"So… Stevie…" Sheila said.

Jonesy looked at the Evans brothers and raised an eyebrow at Sheila. "Um, what about him?"

"I think he's been checking me out," Sheila said, sounding angry.

"I don't think he has a type, so he might have. I hadn't noticed," she commented, "You checking him out?"

"Nope," Sheila said. "I don't check people out. It gives them ideas."

"He's a good kid," Jonesy told her. "But he does love him some ladies."

"And I'm sure they love him," she said, with a frown. "I don't have time for those tall glasses of milk. I'll do just fine with a little cup of soda." Jonesy laughed loudly at Sheila's comment and Sam and Stevie looked over at the women.

Shadonza came over and asked, "What's funny? Hell, I wanna laugh like that!" Soon enough, all of the ladies were clustered together, talking and looking over at Stevie and Sam, sporadically. It actually seemed pretty serious, from Stevie's POV. He could tell that there was something he was missing.

Moving the rest of the stuff was actually alright, considering that afterwards, everyone was treated to thank you dinner that Carmen and Grace helped Sheila prepare. "Special treat for MJ – tots with white cheddar and white chocolate," Sheila said as she presented the bowl of tots and the two cups of white stuff to her friend.

"Bless you!" Mercedes cheered.

"You gonna dip your tater tots in some white chocolate?" Stevie asked her.

"White cheddar and white chocolate are like this baby's favorite stuff," Jonesy told him.

"And toffee," Sam added and she nodded, eating her tots. "And caramel. And spinach dip as a condiment."

"Ok, I ALWAYS liked that stuff, I just need and want it more now than ever and there is nothing wrong with Cheddar's spinach dip on every burger that I eat, no matter where the burger came from."

"And fruit on top of meat," Shadonza said.

"You acting like that pinapple, mango, peach baked talapia wasn't the bomb," Jonesy said. "You ate half of mine!"

"You can't be eating all that fish!" Shadonza fussed.

"And bubble gun and cotton candy flavoring," Andrea said, suddenly.

"Et tu, Andrea?" Jonesy asked and the bright woman blushed and giggled, softly. "I mean, it's some fun flavors and I never really appreciated them before."

"Remember that caramel apple grilled cheese sandwich that she ate every day for like two weeks?" Shadonza asked Andrea, who smiled and nodded. "Or, those sweet potato burgers with avocado?"

"That's healthy. That's good stuff. Rachel introduced me to it and I regret nothing!" Mercedes said. "I need some healthy to balance out stuff like cinnamon and ginger cookie ice cream sandwiches and pudding with marshmallows!" They all laughed at how serious she was about defending her eating habits.

"She's seriously dipping tater tots into white chocolate," Stevie said, shaking his head.

"I like MJ's pregnant diet. It has just as much character as she does and she has so much character that if someone wrote a book about her, it would be like writing a story with an ensemble cast, crossing paths, intricately woven together, connected, but in a distant way where it's hard to reconcile them to each other, but you can't separate them, either," Sheila said.

Jonesy began crying, nodded and bawled, "That was so beautiful and accurate. It's like the best description of me that I have ever heard!" Stevie watched Sheila and Mercedes hug and when Sheila caught his eye, they smiled at each other, shyly… but seductively.

When Sheila collected everyone's plates, Stevie got up to help her in the kitchen and the others left him to it.

"That was really nice, what you said about Jonesy. She is a lot of things, all rolled into one, but sometimes, she has no idea who she is. She gets rather lost, and its good that she has friends like all of you to help her out."

"Well, we help each other. That's how it works," Sheila said, rinsing the dishes. He opened the dishwasher and she handed him the dishes as she rinsed them. "Look, she told us that you didn't know, and I told her that before I say or do anything else with anyone, I might as well get this out of the way – I was raped. The ladies in there are my support group. I'm skeptical, cynical and paranoid about most men and honestly, I would prefer to be alone forever than to ever get hurt again. I generally don't waste anybody's time, because I know that my road to trust would be long and painful, probably more painful and longer for him than for me, so…"

"So, you're someone worth waiting for, then," he said. "I'm a patient man, Sheila… and my road to trust has not even been paved yet, but I do find your gentleness welcoming and I honestly want to get to know you better."

"Stevie…" she started.

"I don't live here. I live in Kentucky. You'll not have to see me face to face, much. We can talk, skype, or chat or text or call each other, messenger or something and I have found in my life that its often easier to get to know people that way than the ones that we see every day."

"It is," she said, nodding.

"You… think that there's any chance that I might be worth the risk of becoming online friends?"

"I don't see why not," she said, unable to stop looking into his eyes. That frightened her. She usually looked people in the eyes and they turned away from the intensity of her search, but Stevie met her eyes head on, searching for himself, as well. "It might be worth something, eventually." He smiled at her and collected the last dish she'd rinsed to put into the dishwasher for her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Don't Make Me Over 17**

Tina, Sam, and Jonesy spent Sunday morning trying to collaborate with Unique on the arrangement of the music selections that Jonesy and Unique had selected for the show, and Stevie tagged along to watch and be shamelessly hit on by the host. Jonesy, having a case of nausea, really didn't feel up to going back and forth with Unique, but that was a pretty consistent work relationship for the two of them. "It's the perfect song for this," Jonesy fussed.

"Aside from the fact that we may not be able to get permission to use this song, the singer is wrong," Unique argued right back. "Your Tina's voice isn't suitable for Tina's Wish."

"Tina has a beautiful voice," Jonesy said, as Tina waited, on the stage, in front of the microphone, holding her guitar and awkwardly glancing at Sam, holding his own, in silence.

"Yes, she does, and it will be wonderful for the montage covers. But, this is the opening song of my show. It's the first impression that anyone who watches it from the beginning is going to get and I need a different set of vocals on it," Unique said.

"How about Jonesy?" Tina suggested. "She loves Tina Turner and knows all of her songs and her voice is amazing."

"I'm not a singer," Jonesy said. Tina was always trying to volunteer her to sing stuff!

"No, no… I have heard you sing before. Get up there, I want to hear you go through the lines of the song," Unique said, slamming some papers into Jonesy's chest, as she did. She looked at Stevie and said, "The sooner your sister-in-law can help me square things away, the sooner you can go back to an easy Sunday."

"But why do I have to do makeup, help with talent search, AND try to sing the opening theme?" Jonesy asked, heading for the stage.

Unique held the bridge of her nose and said, "Because, there's nobody that I trust more, right now. Get up there!"

Jonesy sighed and stepped up to the microphone while Tina played the music. She took a deep breath, smoothed her breathing down and started singing, "I wanna go places. I wanna do some things. I wanna be a star. I wanna have a big name. But in my heart, let beauty reign… and when I'm done, I wanna have fame."

"Make me over!" Unique yelled, with church hands in the air.

Mercedes killed the notes as she sang out, "Make me over! Make me nice. 'Cause when I'm done, Lord I wanna be right. Hey Lord, make me over. I wanna be made over…"

Unique clapped her hands and shook her head, "And this bitch wonders why I make her do everything. Stop excelling, and I won't set high expectations of you!" Unique waved a hand and said, "Girl, that's the opening theme, right there - Tina's Wish, covered by you and your honey's band on the music! And there will be plenty of opportunities for Tina Cohen-Chang to sing, as well. In fact, Tina, I want to hear you run through a verse and chorus of I'm Coming Out for me."

"I can do that," Tina said, grabbing the papers from Jonesy, "As soon as I look over the words. I pretty much know how the melody goes…"

"Who do you know that might sound good singing Celebrity Skin?" Unique asked.

"Definitely not Brittany and slash or Sam," Tina commented.

"I resent that!" Sam snapped, from across the stage. "We rocked that karaoke night!"

"Everybody was drunk," Tina reminded him. "That was the worse cover of Celebrity Skin that I ever thought that I might hear. But then again, Brittany's no singer."

"Neither am I," Jonesy said.

"Hush, you're not getting out of this," Tina told her.

"I'll find somebody," Unique said. "What about Don't Make Me Over? Jonesy?" She looked at Jonesy again.

"Tina hasn't even sang her Diana song, yet," Jonesy pointed out.

"Still going over these lyrics," Tina said.

"While, we wait, Jonesy?" Unique asked.

Jonesy sighed and began to sing the song, "Don't make me over, now that I'd do anything for you. Don't make me over, now that you know how I adore you…" In her mind, Jonesy saw her mom. She hadn't talked to her since that day that she visited and for some reason, this song was pulling the woman right into her mind. This could be her themes song for her mom – which was pitiful, but she realized as she sang from her heart, completely true. "Accept me for what I am! Accept me for all the things that I do…" Tina wiped at her eyes. Stevie watched in amazement. Sam set his guitar down and left the stage and walked out.

Mercedes handed Tina her papers and went to follow him, but Stevie caught her arm and shook his head. "You're working. I'll go check on him." He jogged after Sam and Jonesy and Tina continued with Unique on music selections, but Jonesy kept watching the doorway, to see when Sam would come back inside.

Stevie didn't say anything when he leaned in the doorway of the studio and watched Sam lean again the building and take a deep breath. He simply waited for Sam to speak. "Have you ever loved somebody so much that you didn't care who they were or what they had done? You just wanted to be with them, to love them and protect them, no matter what?" Sam wondered.

"Uh, yeah. It was a huge mistake on my part, but I was young," Stevie replied. Sam frowned and took out a cigarette, turning red in the face thinking of Kitty, now. "You asked if I ever had. You didn't ask if she deserved it."

"I know. I just… The words to that song – _I_ feel like that. That's like the song of my life with Jonesy. I don't know. No matter what I do, she will never admit that she loves me back. People say that I should be glad. They talk about how she's unstable and mean and unpredictable. I don't care. I have never cared about any of that. I know that we laugh together. I know that her smile is everything bright and beautiful in the world. I know that when she hurts, I die inside. What more do I have to do to show her? Why can't she just love me back? What is it about me that she doesn't want?"

"To hurt you," Stevie said. "She doesn't want to hurt you. Think about how many people have told her that she needs to change. Think of all the people who have probably tried to make her over… Sammy, Jonesy sang that song from her heart – she's lived it at some point. Maybe she knows that she doesn't have to worry about you wanting her to change, maybe she is worried about it. But one thing I honestly think? I think that she definitely has loved somebody with all of her heart before who wanted her to change either who she was or how she was. But, she couldn't. Can any of us? Our changes are frequently unintentional. When we try to change, it's almost like it's the hardest thing in the world. Feels like suffocating. She knows that she can't make herself change and because of the people who have already tried to change her to no avail, she worries about you. She worries about her inability to change leading to you being hurt. To me, that just proves just how much she really does love you, even if she can't really openly let you know. I see the two of you and I see two people in love with each other, in every way, despite the folks that I know you both to be and despite the folks that you two know each other to be."

"Why the hell is your young ass so wise and shit?" Sam asked.

"I take great pride in thinking," Stevie said. "Most people don't." He smiled as Sam put out the cigarette. "Now, let's get this song thing over with so we can hang out at Puck's some more before I head out tonight."

"I can't go back in there," Sam said. He began to send Tina a text. "I just need a moment to clear my head some and to think about what you said. You can go back in."

"Not a chance. I'm coming with you," Stevie said.

By the end of the meeting, Tina was putting Sam's guitar away and telling Jonesy that Sam took off and she would bring her home. "I've decided that I prefer that the 1989 Sybil version of Don't Make Me Over. Cover it that way and nobody should cry," Unique said. Jonesy sighed.

As she and Tina headed out, she asked, "Did he tell you what happened?"

"The lyrics triggered something and he had to jet. Stevie went with him and he texted and asked me to bring you home," Tina said. Jonesy frowned and pulled out her phone to text him. "Jonesy… try not to hurt him. He's going through stuff, too, you know?"

"I'm just going to check on him," Jonesy said, squinting her eyes at Tina, like, what the hell was that even supposed to mean?

"I know that sometimes you don't realize it, but when you get upset, you can be pretty hurtful. Just give him a break. I'm sure he'll be fine. He's got Stevie with him," Tina said.

"You're right," Jonesy said and put her phone away.

After being dropped off at home, Jonesy waved at Tina and got into her car. Sam's truck was home, but she had no idea how she wanted to handle seeing him and decided that she'd just wait until after Stevie was gone to go home. She didn't want the kid to get uncomfortable if their interaction because awkward in front of him.

She could go to Rachel's, but she was still a bit raw about their exchange Friday night, and she didn't particularly want to go to Kurt, for that same reason. She didn't want it to come up, at all. Actually, she remembered that she had brought her sister a storybook while she was working on her child's library. When she pulled up, she saw two vehicles and her heart thudded in her chest, but she got out, anyway. She had never contacted her dad after she said that she would and she hadn't visited, either. It took her moment to decide whether she wanted to face him or Sam, but she was already here and hell – the price of gas…

Her father opened the door this time and practically burst into tears when he swept her up into a hug. "She told me that you'd been by, but when you never contacted me, I was starting to think that she'd dreamed it," he said, with a laugh. He set her down and just looked at her. "My baby girl is all grown up," he said.

"Yeah, no. You've got a _new_ baby girl. Actually, I came over to give her something. Can I come in?" She asked, with her own tears welling up. He pulled her inside and led her into the living room, where he had her have a seat. "Where's Mom?" She wondered

"In bed. I'll get Ra," he said.

"Ra, that's a nice nickname," Jonesy said.

"Um… much of anything is better than Maserati. I think your mom thought that maybe she could 'redo' you…" He sighed and headed out of the room, but she got up, as well and went to see her mother. She simply planned on watching her sleep for a moment. She used to do it a lot when she was a young girl. She used to wonder how it was the woman who looked like an angel was so mean. She liked the angel version better. When she entered the bedroom, she frowned and rushed to the bed, with her heart in her throat. Her mother had an oxygen tank on her face and there was other equipment around her. The woman stirred when Jonesy gasped and sat up, taking the mask off.

"Mom… what the hell is this?" She asked, the tears falling.

Mrs. Jones reached out and wiped her face, "Save those. You'll have plenty of real reasons to cry once you have your baby. Kids will have you shedding tears of all sorts of emotions."

"Mom..."

"Stop it, Mercedes. Does this look easy to you? I know I might not deserve for you to make it any easier on me, but please, if you're going to be here, make an attempt." She gave Mercedes that disapproving look that she was so used to and said, "I can't believe that the young lady who had all of the things that you had to say last time is acting this way about something like this."

"Something _like this? _I don't even know what THIS is! Why… why didn't you tell me about it? Are you going to be okay?" Mercedes asked, with worry in her tone.

"Of course," her mother said. "Did you come to see Godfrey?"

"I came to…" Mercedes held her heart and began to try to catch her breath. "To bring my sister a present… What is wrong with you? What is all of this, this stuff?" She asked, crying and reaching for her phone. "I..." She got up and stepped out of the room, almost running into her father when she did.

"Mercedes, what were you doing going in there?" He asked.

She replied by bursting into tears and handing him her ringing phone. "I need him…" She said, shook her head and rushed into the bathroom. _Why hadn't she called first? _She should have called first, before stopping by here.

Sam answered his phone with a sigh and said, "Hey..." He wasn't sure what he expected, but he knew that she probably wasn't going to be thrilled about him leaving the studio without saying anything to her.

"Hello," Godfrey said.

"Hello? Who the fuck is this?" Sam asked, taken aback by a male voice on Mercedes' phone.

Godfrey cleared his throat and said, "My name is Godfrey Jones, and I suppose you know my daughter, Mercedes." Maserati patted his cheeks, slapping on them to try to make him spurt out some air, like he sometimes played around with her, as he spoke.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, Sir. Jonesy and I have had some questionable guys come through our paths and I didn't realize you and she were even speaking. I didn't mean any disrespect… Wait… Is Jonesy alright? Did something happen?" He asked, already grabbing his keys.

"She says she needs you. I think she might be having some sort of attack or something. She's at our home…"

"I'm on my way!" Sam said an hung up.

Stevie wondered, "What's happening?"

"Jonesy's having a panic attack and I need to go see about her. She's at her parents, which is stressful enough for her, so you just stay here. I don't want to add on. I'll call you as soon as I know she's okay."

Sam was invited in by Mrs. Jones and she said, weakly, "Hello, I'm Maryvonne and this is Godfrey. We're Mercedes parents."

"Hello. Where is she? Is she alright?" He asked.

"She's in the bathroom. We don't really know how to handle her when she has an episode. It's been so long since we've been exposed that I forgot that she even has these attacks." She led him to the bathroom and knocked on the door, "Mercedes, your man is here."

He opened the door and she was seated on the toilet, sobbing, with makeup running down her face. "I can't," she said and shook her head.

"What's wrong?" He asked and kneeled in front of her while her family watched.

"My mom's sick and she completely avoided my question of what's wrong with her, so I know it's bad," she said… not so quickly, though. It took her quite a while to get it all out. After she did, he gave her a soft smile and rubbed her shoulders until she caught her breath. "I can't handle it. Whatever is wrong, I already know how I am and I can't handle it."

"Are you kiddin'? Mercedes Jones, I have never met a stronger woman and whatever is happening here, you totally could handle. Did you see ME, earlier? Crying over that song you sang? You're solid strength, Babe. I get my strength from you. Stand up for me?" He stood and reached out to her with both hands to help her up. When she stood up, she held him tight. She really just wanted to leave.

"It looks worse than it is," they heard her mother say.

"So, immediately following giving birth, you went into cardiac arrest?!" Mercedes asked.

"It isn't that common, but it happens," Maryvonne said, stroking Ra's hair. "I had the best care available. I lived and I recovered."

"She didn't fully recover," Godfrey said.

"I recovered better than a lot of women in my position. I got the necessary post cardiac arrest treatment and your dad really didn't allow me to skip any steps. It took some time, but I ended up being fine and I remained fine until a few months ago."

"She had a heart attack," Godfrey said.

"I am being treated for heart disease and surviving quite well," she said. "Every time I have some shortness of breath, he panics and calls the doctor," she complained.

"He _should _call a doctor if you have shortness of breath. That's one of the symptoms in women for having a heart attack. The oxygen in the room, what's with that?" Mercedes wondered.

"Sometimes, doctors will suggest oxygen treatment at home for patients with heart problems," Maryvonne said defensively. "You're pregnant. You really don't need to be worrying about something that I promise we have control over, Mercedes!"

"I can't NOT worry… You're sick!" Mercedes snapped. "You have a problematic heart. Shouldn't you have let me know that when I came back into the picture and you asked me to try to start including you back into my life?"

Maryvonne looked like she was having trouble breathing, so Godfrey passed Ra off to her so that he could go get the machine. When he left, Maryvonne glanced at Sam, who said, "I'll go see if Godfrey needs any help." He left, too and Maryvonne looked back at Mercedes. Now, Mercedes could see all the weariness in her features. She could see sickness and weakness. She never thought that she would ever see the day.

"When I'm having problems, Godfrey comes home and stays here, moving about and quite honestly stressing me out. I don't want him worrying about me when we have her to focus on, and I'm certainly not here for you to worry about me. Your boyfriend is cute."

"He isn't my boyfriend," Mercedes said, not knowing how to respond to the rest of it. She didn't know if this was a defense mechanism for her mom that she should try to simply respect or if the woman's lackadaisical attitude was going to cause for more trouble. "He's like… my rock. I don't know how, but when he comes around, it makes everything better. Everything is easier to handle with him there."

"That's a good sign of true love," Maryvonne said. "And I'm glad he isn't your boyfriend. That word is in itself detestable. I never used it on Godfrey. He was always 'my man.' Always will be. Even after we got married. I referred to him more as 'my man' than 'my husband.' I wanted to give him a label that didn't evolve and change as we did. He wasn't always going to be my friend or always be my boyfriend or my fiancé, and on some days, I didn't think he would always be my husband," she chuckled, "But, I knew that he would always be my man. Even if we had divorced and went on to live separate lives. Godfrey was going to be my man regardless and may God have had mercy on the soul of the next woman, if she came about. I wouldn't respect that union. I wouldn't give her a moment's peace. I think that's why he stuck around. He knew that I wasn't letting some other woman have him after the work that I put in all those years."

"Daddy loves you, Mom," Mercedes said. "We… we all do…"

"This is another reason why I didn't tell you. I knew that it would affect your desire and emotions about me. I don't want you to talk to me or visit me because I'm sick, Mercedes. Sickness is not an indication for obligation for anybody but Godfrey, because he made vows to claim that responsibility. You, on the other hand have therapy all week, widely because of me and you have a job and friends to spend time with. You have hobbies, I'm sure and preparations to make for this baby. You've got your peace of mind and health to be concerned about. You do not have to feel like you have to squeeze me into your routine because I use a machine to help me breathe when I sleep. I'm not going to ask you to do that and I wouldn't want you to make that choice. If you want to see me or spend time with me, my heart can't be the center of that." Godfrey and Sam returned and the women became silent as he set the machine near her and helped her to get the mask on.

Maserati wobbled over to Mercedes and climbed into her lap. "Hey, pretty girl! I came over to see you. I brought you something," she said. Sam watched as Jonesy and the lovely little girl with stunning eyes flipped through the book that Mercedes had brought her. The girl was talking very animatedly, even though she wasn't particularly good at speaking, yet. She sounded clearer than Sam would have expected her to be. He took a seat next to them and when Ra noticed him, seemingly for the first time, she lost interest in her book and went to sit on him, instead, to play with his hair.

"Hi," Sam said, looking at her, unsure of how to act around her.

"Your hair is yellow?" She asked. "Like Punksil."

"Like what?" He asked and looked at Jonesy.

"Rapunzel," Maryvonne answered with a small smile. "Tangled and the Princess and the Frog are her favorites. We're building her a Disney Princess life size dollhouse. We've had an architect to draw up the plans for it, already." She put her mask back on.

"Cool," Sam said. "I can help out. I build, a little bit," he said.

"It's being done by professionals," Mrs. Jones said.

"Right," Sam said and nodded.

"What's this?" Ra asked him, grabbing the pendant on his necklace.

He gently loosened her grip on it and told her, "It's a ram. Mercedes gave it to me. What's this on your necklace?" He asked, back.

"Buttewfwy," she said, and fiddled with her own pendant, now.

"That's really pretty. And you're pretty, too." The girl covered her face with both hands and smiled, then quickly went to her dad.

Godfrey frowned and said, "I don't know how to feel about my three year old flirting already."

Sam offered, "I have a collection of bats. I can share with you. I'll need to keep some, since Jonesy thinks we're having a girl." The words just slipped out of his mouth. _We're having a girl. _

"I am having a girl," Mercedes quickly replied.

"And if she's half as pretty as her mother, her grandmother or her aunt, then I'll have to utilize them bats," Sam said. Mercedes just laughed and slapped his hand.

"Your family's gorgeous, too," she reminded him.

"I thought the baby was someone else's," Maryvonne said.

"Ryvie!" Godfrey snapped at her.

Sam shook his head and said, "No, no. It's alright. Erm.. the baby technically wasn't planted by me, but I have been to the doctor. I am collecting the wood to make blocks. I am helping to find the doula and a midwife, even though I don't understand why we would need both. I… I love Jonesy. I want to make her happy and support her, no matter what. And, this baby, that she's decided to keep is going to be a part of her, so, I'm going to be the best honorary dad ever. I'm getting a superhero suit made and everything," Sam said, making Jonesy laugh again, even though she felt on the verge of tears.

"Thank you," Godfrey said. "We know that you may already know this, but Maryvonne and I haven't been the best parents that we could have been. My guilt kept me from feeling like I even had any right to ask you what your intentions were with my daughter, so I'm glad that you told me, anyway."

Maryvonne didn't speak. Instead, she continued to sit as the rest of them talked more.

Sam saw Jonesy into her car and as she drove off and he headed for his truck, he heard, "Sam!" It was weak, but he heard it. He looked up to see Maryvonne Jones, walking up to him with her little house robe wrapped around her. He met her halfway. "I need to know the name of the bastard who did that to my daughter," she said, point blank.

"That doesn't seem like it would…"

"I didn't ask you that," she told him. "I just want a name."

"Finn Hudson," Sam said.

The woman's jaw tightened and her eyes narrowed, "Finn Hudson. I won't forget this. Thank you, Sam." She turned around and headed for the house. Sam sighed and got into his truck to head home.

Stevie headed out shortly after it got dark. He had class in the morning and didn't want to be driving too late. Jonesy washed up and pulled herself into a terrycloth pair of pants and a soft tank, threw her bathrobe on her shoulders and curled up in Sam's bed as he went to shower. When he came out, he lied in front of her, staring at her until she opened her eyes and they stared at each other. "It seems like everybody insists that we be together," she said.

"Who ever insists that?" Sam asked, softly.

"Maybe they don't insist it, but I know that they expect it. I think that we expect it too,b ut we just haven't gotten around to talking about it again."

"I think that you're mine and I'm yours, but we just haven't labeled it," he said. She shut her eyes and nodded. That sounded about right. "Jonesy… Mercedes…" Her eyes opened at her name. "Is there anything about me that you want to change?"

"Change? Why would there be?" She asked.

"I just want to make sure. After the declarations I made to your mom and dad today, it's safe to expect that we're in this thing for the long haul, whatever this thing is and whatever its going to be, we'll be in it, together. We have to be on the same page, especially if I'm going to help you with the kid."

"I never asked you to help me with this, Sam," she reminded him.

"You didn't have to. You should just always expect it," he said, reaching for her hand.

"That's hard," she admitted.

"Well, I suggest you learn, just like I have to learn to accept the things about you that I can't change – like your mind… I love it when you let me in, even though it can be a scary place that I don't fully understand. But, I need to be there, in your mind. I _have _to be. I love you, Jonesy and it'll never stop, whether you approve of it or not. Can you accept me this way? In love with you, without apology?"

She smiled and said, "I'll have to learn to."

"Something tells me that you're getting more and more comfortable with it all the time."

"Actually, I don't know if I could function without it… I don't know how I've run from it for so long. I love you, too, Sam. _That _way. I don't want you to think that I'm saying this so that I can have a step-babydaddy. I want you to believe it. To know."

"I knew before you did," he teased and winked at her.

"Well, what am I going to do next, then?"

"You are going to nod your head is you want to really be with me and we don't have to say anything else about it, for now. You say yes – then it just is, and we both get to know it," he told her.

Jonesy simply nodded her head and he smiled gently and stroked her face until she fell to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

**Don't Make Me Over 18**

"She's my mother. My family," Mercedes said and ran a hand through her currently purple streaked black plum hair. She had almost decided not to get ready for the first wave of tryouts for the Unique Diva Experience before her group meeting, but she knew that she wouldn't have enough time to get her makeup perfect, if she didn't. "I think that she was downplaying what's wrong with her. I think that its worse and she just didn't want me to worry, or worse, for me to pity her…" She shook her head and let out a shaky sigh.

Sheila rubbed her gently on the back, as Carmen told her, "That bond between mother and child, most of us can't shake it. From what I understand, Mrs. J wasn't the best of mothers, to you. You felt that she could have been more loving, more supportive and the like. But, there's also the fact that she was always visible. She might have been overbearing and many times, to you, unfair, but your heart reminds you that there were moms that left their kids in motel rooms, or on the side of the road. Your mind tells you that no matter what she does, she's still your mother. Your… I don't know… soul – some essential inexplicable part of you grasps on to the connection that was made when she nursed you, when she was the one to run to when you hurt yourself or you were scared to sleep in your room alone. She was there for you, once upon a time. We grasp on to things of our childhood and frequently hold on to the best parts of them."

"Do you think that I've made her into something that she wasn't?" Mercedes asked.

"Not at all. I just think that she is who she is to you and you don't have to apologize for it. Love her in the way that you will, as long as it's healthy. A lot of people go through significant changes when they become ill. You know that I would never feed you a pretty lie. The ugly truth is that your mother getting sick might be a blessing in disguise. It may be the thing that helps you both to get some closure on a lot of things in your past," Carmen said, before Sheila began to talk to the group about an upcoming trip that she would be taking out of town, for the weekend.

Upon leaving the meeting Jonesy got a text from Sam, asking her how the meeting went and if she was alright. Sheila asked, "Sam?" and pointed to Jonesy's phone with her own. When Jonesy nodded, Sheila smiled brightly at her own phone and said, "Evans men, huh?"

"They're pretty thoughtful," Jonesy told her, then tilted her head, "Wait… where are you going this weekend?"

Sheila blushed and said, "Um… Lexington, for a couple of days."

"Lexington, Kentucky – as in where Stevie is enrolled in college?" Mercedes asked.

"I'm staying in a hotel. We're just going to meet up for drinks and billiards, maybe a bit of darts or a movie," Sheila said. "We talk on the phone every night. We text each other all throughout the day." Sheila smiled brightly and shrugged, "We're just friends, but it's nice to have these exchanges. A couple of hours to drive isn't too bad for me to spend a little weekend checking out a new town, and it's not like we're going to send the night together."

"I wasn't judging," Jonesy said, replying to Sam's text. "I wouldn't even be able to find the room to do so, with the things that I'd done with and for guys. I just want you to be careful," she said, putting her phone away.

"That's not comforting," Sheila commented.

"No! He's a great guy and I don't think he would EVER do anything dangerous. I just meant careful, as in guarding your heart. Stevie's not a bad person and he isn't harmful, but with your history and his lifestyles; I just wouldn't want either of you hurt," she told her. They hugged outside of her car and Jonesy went to work.

Unique, Gavroche, Kurt and Blaine were seated at the panel table, passing applications to and from each other, with their opinions, as they did. Kurt said, "Tanisha is remarkable, because her modeling photos from when she tried living in the body that she was born with scream supermodel status. The fact that she's dressing as a man and is transitioning, when the world has always told her what a pretty girl, what a pretty woman she was makes her the heart of a competition like this!"

Blaine shook his head and said, "But a lot of the people who vote won't be voting for her story, they'll be voting, because they think that she's a pretty WOMAN!"

"She's a 'he,' gentlemen. Respect one's gender identity," Gavroche admonished as he handed Blaine a photograph, "This is his true form."

Blaine's eyes widened at the "woman" in DRAB and nodded his head, "Yes, yes, he belongs here. He's absolutely gorgeous."

Kurt snatched the photo and smiled, "When is his transition final?" Blaine snatched it from him now and handed it back to Gavroche, who passed it to Unique, who put it into a stack. "Hey, Jonesy!" Kurt cheered.

"Hey," she said. "I miss anything?"

Blaine handed her a stack and said, "Reject pile." She began to look through them.

"If you can find anything that you can make into a work of art, that we may have passed over, please, let me know," Unique said. She passed an application to Gavroche.

"Stunning. Just stunning," Gavroche said. "Put him in the Drag Off pile, definitely."

"Why is she in the reject pile?" Jonesy asked, setting an open file on the table. "Isn't the whole point of this type of pageant about self-love and showing the beauty of others that may not necessarily be conventional?"

"Yes – and by not conventional, we mean not the typical heterosexual cisgender stuff that our moms and dads are used to," Gavroche said, pushing the file away.

"Wait, wait, now. Jonesy has a good eye for these things, let me see," Unique said and looked at the photo. "You know, I struggled with putting her in the reject file. I struggled because I wasn't sure how we would handle the backlash if she was in the pageant and horrible and we rejected her. People might think that we're doing so because of…"

"Because of what you put her in the reject file for? What if she's amazing? I mean, she's gorgeous. And you know – there's a black Suicide Girl that has this same condition and she takes HOT photos! I think you should give her a shot. She's got a nice face and a cute shape and her condition shouldn't be something that takes away from her chances… Not in this place, in this type of competition. Isn't that ablelist?"

"She isn't disabled," Gavroche said. "She has vitilago."

"It would be cool to show people that you don't have to be as popular and famous as Michael Jackson to get appreciation, even under her circumstances," Blaine said.

"You are like the spokesman for the Sucking-Up-To-The-Jones Society," Kurt commented. He took the file and said, "De'wana Umber has no noticeable magnetism and no qualifying talents. That was why I voted against her."

"She's a photographer," Jonesy said, tapping the file. "That's a talent."

"This is a pageant," Kurt reminded her.

"That means that she will have several things surrounding her that she can use to showcase her talent," Jonesy argued.

Unique snatched the file and set it in the callback file. Jonesy smiled and fist pumped. "You know that girl, or something?"

"No. I just respect the fact that she doesn't get to hide behind a mask, like some of us to, and yet, she obviously not only accepts that, but expects the rest of us to respect it. I mean, can you imagine how many people might try to convince her not to try out for a beauty pageant, even an alternative one? She almost didn't make it through you guys. Oh, and this one, I want her out there, too. Look at those eyes. Look at her face structure and most notably visually stunning, these tats." She set a file on the table.

"We have a Painted Lady, already," Gavroche said.

"Let's see her," Jonesy asked and held out her hand. Unique shuffled through the pile and gave her the file. "Oh, wow, look at that – Electra, your typical white, blond, traditional beauty, with the exception of the tattoos that she has all over her body." Jonesy curled her lips together and tossed their original painted lady in the reject file, and the one she liked into the callback file. "Fixed it," she said. Unique flipped the file open to see Shannon Beiste – was gorgeous, and Jonesy was right, Electra had been the 'safe choice,' which was not what the hell Unique had in mind for her vision of this. Jonesy knew that better than anyone, at the moment.

Gavroche gasped and asked Unique, "Is this what she does? Undermind you and disregard decisions that you've already made."

"What she does is makes things more beautiful, by looking at something that we can't see the beauty in and showing us where it is. I trust her. That's why she's here. I trust you too, Babe. And trust me, when it's time for us to determine stage presence and performance quality – you will be my Numeral Uno consultant." Unique pinched his cheek and Jonesy straightened out the reject files and set them down by Blaine, again as she finally took a seat, to go through the other files, with them.

Sam spent his two off days working on building the larger cage for Kruger in Mercedes' old room. She hadn't slept in there since her attack and had gradually moved the things that she hadn't burned up in the front yard either into Sam's room or into her Happy Room. They decided that they would set Krueger up in that room, since Mercedes wouldn't be going in and out of it at all, anyway – that was the best place for him, since she seemed pretty broken up about the thought of getting rid of him. She seemed broken up about a lot lately. He knew that it was because of this thing with her mother. She had even taken to going over to spend time with Maryvonne and Ra, after work.

Plus, she said that they were going to have a family photo taken soon. "Before I get too big for it," she said, but Sam thought it was really because she was worried that her mom might die soon. That would be even more stressful for her, so he hoped not. Sam had gotten more used to the idea of Jonesy having the baby, even though he honestly, almost constantly hoped that it wouldn't look like Finn, he was becoming attached to the idea of it. He didn't want something to happen for it to be at risk.

He had been collecting different random things for a special project that he wanted to start, but he didn't want to start on it until the sex of the baby was determined, and he also wanted it to be a surprise for Jonesy. She came in, toting bags on both arms and in her hands, "I picked up dinner!" She called out. Sam came from the hallway, shirtless, sweating, with a tool belt on and holding a drill. She froze when she saw him and so he froze, too.

"What is it?" He wondered.

"Uh… You're all glisteny," she commented, setting the bags on the table. "Smelling like a manly man and all."

"Yeah, I'll wash up before I eat. I'm almost finished with Krueger's cage," he told her and came up behind her to give her a sweaty kiss on the cheek. "Here, have some cooties," he said, with a smile. She giggled and wiped her face with a grossed out expression. "You know, I remember just a few months ago, I was realizing for the first time that you and I weren't really that affectionate with each other. We didn't do hello and goodbye hugs and kisses or good luck and congratulations stuff. I really like the changes that we've made, and I mean, even before our new relationship." He set the drill down, cupped her face and said, "I'm lucky to have you."

Mercedes felt herself grow warm and her body start to tingle. She backed away from him and told him, "You need to go wash up. I'll set the table."

"Yes, ma'am!" He said, grabbed his drill and went on, while Mercedes turned on the fan in the kitchen and planted herself in front of it. Damn hormones. She set the table up, then leaned against the counter in front of the fan, again.

Mercedes was silent for most of dinner. Sam tried to have conversations with her, but she had few responses and when he offered to clear the table afterwards, she left without a word and settled on the couch, in a blanket, holding one of her Tiggers. Sam tried not to bother her, even though he was concerned. He decided to let her come to him, when she was ready to talk. That never happened.

The next few days, she became less talkative and more distant. Sam called Carmen to ask her what he needed to do. "Just, try to be patient. Give her space and time. There is so much happening in her life right now, not to mention the things that she was already struggling with… She's going to have her moments when she can't be the woman that she is still trying to become."

"I think it has to do with me," Sam said. "I told her that I was lucky to have her some days ago and it feels like ever since, she's been withdrawing. I mean… I guess I came on to strong?" He wondered.

"You can't think that everything that happens between the two of you has to do with you. MJ is a complex woman and she has many layers. You can ask her if she wishes to talk about whatever is bothering her, then respect her answer, even if she tells you no," Carmen told him.

The couch was pretty uncomfortable, tonight. She had been sleeping on it for a few nights, but tonight, she crawled into bed with Sam and settled herself on the opposite side of the bed. He was pleasantly surprised to find her there, in the morning. Maybe her need for time and space had settled down? He reached over to curl into her, but she quickly jumped up and rushed into the bathroom. Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe not.

He hadn't expected them to become a couple and suddenly sail off into the sunset in a romantic bliss filled stupor, but since they had gotten together, she seemed much less comfortable with him. He knocked on the bathroom door and said, "Jonesy… I just want to let you know that I don't have any kind of obligations or anything that I'm gonna try to pressure you into, just because we're together. I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry if I've made you feel some kinda way. I just… Babe… Please, don't shut me out, again."

"I'm not, Sam. I'm just trying to sort a few things out, right now. Some individual level things, you know?" She opened the door and smiled at him, with her hair pulled up and her toothbrush in her hand. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel like you did something."

"No harm done. Anything that you want to talk about?" He wondered.

"Not yet," she told him, "But, seriously, Sam; I promise that I will talk to you when I'm ready.

He nodded in understanding and bashfully asked, "Can I give you a kiss on the nose?" She laughed and almost choked on the toothpaste. When she spit it out and rinsed her mouth, she kissed him on the nose, instead. "I finished the cage. You nor Babycakes have to worry about snake germs interfering with the pregnancy."

"Babycakes?" Jonesy repeated, laughing.

"I gotta call it something other than 'it,'" he said. "I decided on Babycakes."

"Ok," she said, laughing more. "Have you talked to Stevie?" She asked.

"No more than usual," Sam said.

"Has he mentioned Sheila?" She asked.

"Yeah?" He replied giving her a curious look. "They're friends and he met her through us, so her name comes up."

"Her name 'comes up?' She's spent the last three weekends in Lexington," Mercedes said.

"In a hotel room. She's a grown woman, Jonesy… and this is Stevie. What is it that you're worried about, exactly?"

"I don't know," she said, with a shrug. "I think that I'm worried that she might not be ready for anything intense and on her side, it seems a lot more intense than his name coming up. I don't want her to hurt him. He's had enough of that, and I don't want her to get hurt, either."

"You do know that in like, _all _relationships, there's a chance that people are gonna get hurt. It's not our business or responsibility. They're both adults."

"It'll be awkward for everyone if something goes badly between the two. Something's already off. She's out there every weekend and her name only 'comes up,' when you two talk." She began to curl her hair. "What if she's falling for him and he's not interested? I introduced them. She said that she wasn't interested in dating a hottie like him and I put a stamp of approval on him…"

"Jonesy… Focusing on other people's possible issues doesn't take away from your own. You know that. What's really wrong?" He asked, folding his arms.

"I'm not ready for this," she said.

He tilted his head and told her, "You're overthinking. I'm not asking you for anything but your companionship, Babe. I'm willing to wait however it long it takes for whatever else."

"Are you sure? I mean – it could end up being like a thing where I can't give myself to you and you have to fulfill your needs elsewhere, and I wouldn't blame you, you know? It's just… It would hurt. I don't want to deny you and I don't want to fall short."

"Jonesy, you called me one night and I left Marley's bed and came right to you, you honestly think I'd ever go to anybody else for anything?" Sam asked.

"Marley? Jake's Marley?" Jonesy asked.

Sam sighed and said, "Not at that particular time. You know how they are, off and on again."

"Yeah – apparently so are you and her," she said and dropped her curling iron into the sink and snatched the cord out of the socket.

"Are you mad?" He asked.

"I don't have a right to be mad. We were together and according to you, they weren't either." She started packing her work bag and he stared at her. "And it's not like I haven't kept my share of secrets, so, who am I to get mad that you were fooling around with the girl that you thought you loved after Kitty smashed up your world."

"I didn't think anything. Marley's a good friend and I do love her, in a way."

"Marley is a sand trap. When you deal with her, you end up dealing with Kitty – every time," she said. "And even if you don't, Kitty ends up resurfacing, because those bitches talk to each other and they fuck the same dudes."

"Kitty knows better than to resurface anywhere near me! And, don't talk about Marley like that. She's a good person and she's my friend. She hasn't done anything for you to talk that way about her," Sam said. Jonesy rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. "Why are you angry?" He asked, angry himself, now.

"I'm not!" She snapped before slamming the door on the way out.

Marley. Ugh! She could pretend to be Miss Sweet and Innocent all day long, but she was friends with Kitty and that meant that there was some low-down-dirty-bitch somewhere inside of her. Jonesy wasn't buying that there wasn't. She stole Jake from Kitty, in the first place. Then, she had Jake and some other kid fighting over her, while Kitty was sinking her claws into Sam for the first time. THEN, when Kitty and Sam were apart, Marley and Sam were involved. For her, it was just to stir Jake up and make him want her again. _She used Sam!_ Jonesy slammed her bag into the car.

And another thing… She was USING Sam, recently, because she KNEW that Jake and she would be back together, probably were by the next day! She frowned s she started her car and headed for the studio. Interviews/auditions for the callbacks were starting today. She had other things to think about, other than Sam-swapping Kitty and Marley. Her phone buzzed with a text from Sam: **I still don't know what I did, but I don't want you mad at me, so stop it. **She laughed and rolled her eyes, as she texted him back.

_**Seriously, I'm not mad at you. Just a little bit jealous. I'll get over it.**_

**How are YOU jealous? You do know that I was in love with you literally the ENTIRE TIME there was anything ever going on with Marley, right? **He asked. **She knew it, but she was hung up on Jake and still confused about her feelings about Ryder, so she didn't make a big deal out of it. You're the only woman I want, Jonesy. Indefinitely. **

_**Shut up. I have to go to work. :P **_She sent him.

Sam sighed and smiled at her message. It was hard to be sure what was what with her, especially with Babycakes on board. She had mood swings before and now, they could be downright outrageous!

Sam lied awake in bed, listening to Jonesy sleep beside him. He glanced at her and saw her arms draped protectively over her body. She cared so much about this. He cared, too… because it was so important to her, but he still had his doubts. He felt like he always would. He didn't ever want to bring up his reservations in their therapy sessions, but whenever he had the chance to talk to Carmen on his own, his fears were made known. Sam was terrified of Jonesy having this baby. He didn't think it would be good for her and he didn't think that it would be good for them, especially now that they were a couple.

But, he couldn't tell her that, because not only would she probably leave him, but she probably would loathe him, too. It was more important to her than any other relationship or connection that she would make and she was not very keen on hearing any kind of backlash about it. Plus, he had already told her that he would be there for her, no matter what.

After a while, he got up and wrote her a note that he couldn't sleep and was going to go for a drive and he called Santana on his way to his truck. "You sound like you're still awake," he commented.

"It's been a while since you did this. Britt and the cat are asleep. Let me meet up with you somewhere."

"Yeah, that's good. That all night place with the bakery?" He suggested.

"You're getting me assorted cookies," she told him.

"So… what happened this time? I thought you were having couple bliss," Santana said, looking at the cookies through the glass. "She's finally yours, you got a kid coming. You always wanted a family."

"I'm not ready for this kid," Sam said.

"You kinda have to take the whole package. It's an all or nothing kinda deal here, Trouty Mouth," she told him, then began pointing to different cookies as the cashier placed them on a small to go plate.

"I know, and I'm not going to leave her or try to make her get rid of it, but I feel like it might end of being a disaster," he admitted.

"Welcome to the story of you and Jonesy. Of course it'll be a disaster. Everything with you two is always a disaster, but you both love a beautiful mess, s the shit works out for everybody, except me, because I only get the Guppy Lips Whine edition of everything."

"Santana…" he said and sighed.

"Sam…" she said in the exact same way. He frowned, pouting. Why the hell did he always talk to _her, _of all people? "Your lips need moisturizing, by the way. Where the hell is your extensive collection of chapstick?"

"I'm sure I've got some in the truck," he told her. "I just need to vent, Tana. Can I do that?"

"You're a grown man. You can do whatever you want." They found themselves a booth and she placed the cookies on the table. "Look, why do you think that it's gonna be a bad thing?"

"I can't really say," he told her.

"It might be a great thing. Look at how much this is balancing Jonesy out already! By the time the kid's born, maybe she'll be better than ever before," Santana said and bit into a cookie. "And the love that you two seem to have such a hard time showing each other now has a little bridge that helps both of you to keep your connection to each other…"

"It isn't mine," Sam said.

Santana narrowed her eyes at him and swallowed her cookie, then set the rest back down, "Were you supposed to tell me that?"

"It's kind of a secret, but this baby is going to be a part of my life too. Do I not even have the right to talk about how I feel about it all?" Sam wondered.

"Yeah, I guess. But, I think that it's kind of understood that you're assuming fathership, so nobody's saying anything about it," Santana said.

"What do you mean? Do other people know it's not mine?" He asked.

"People assume things about people. Unfortunately, Jonesy is the kind of woman that other people make assumptions about. But, you know – the dad and I were beards in high school, for a time. Before the trio thing." Sam stared at her blinking his eyes. "Dave Kurofsky was my boyfriend. We're still friends. He told me about the baby being his..?" She turned her head slightly and Sam chuckled. _Dave. _He had forgotten about that. "Dave _is _the father, right?" Santana asked.

"Yeah, yeah… of course," Sam lied. Santana stared at him and he put his face down to stare at the cookies.

"You lose my friendship and permission to whine to me all hours of the night if I don't hear the truth, right now!" She said, under her breath.

"I… can't tell you. You're welcome to ask Jonesy about it, but all I can tell you is that when this kid is born, Dave's name will be on the birth certificate." Santana glared at him. "He knows that it isn't his, but he's agreed to do her this solid."

"No wonder you don't want this lies-bred baby. What the hell is the kid gonna do if it needs blood or marrow or something down the line and Dave doesn't fucking have it?" Santana asked.

"I guess that they'll have to do whatever orphans do when it happens to them," he said.

"This shit is selfish," Santana said shaking her head.

"You think that Jonesy would just set her own kid up for failure. She's just trying to protect her child," he defended, now.

"Protect her child from what?" Santana wondered.

"Her father," he snapped.

"Why?" She asked, not satisfied with these answers, then… "Oh, shit… It's Finn's!"

"Santana, this kid is going to have enough shit, already. Please, don't say anything to anyone," Sam pleaded.

"That bastard beat up his pregnant ex ! I mean – that's not to say that it would have been any less shitty if she hadn't been pregnant, but damn… no sense of decency! No wonder she was out of the loop for so long," Santana said. Sam didn't reply. "Oh shit… she… she wasn't pregnant when he beat her?"

"I shouldn't have called you," Sam realized.

"He raped her. He fucking…" Santana bit her lip and shut her eyes. "That piece of shit."

"Santana…"

"There's no way that Dave knows that part and that fucker, Finn, is still breathing!" Santana said.

"No, and he CAN'T know, because that will just bring on more stress and trouble for Jonesy and Babycakes," Sam said. He reached over an grabbed Santana's hand, "Trust me, nobody wants to hurt Finn more than I do for all of this. But, Jonesy doesn't need any more trouble. Okay?" He rubbed her hand and she took a deep breath and nodded. "And, I'm sure you can understand why I hadn't told you."

"Yeah. That's extremely personal. Finn outed me, you know? In high school… He was the reason that people found out that I was gay. He and I have always had a pretty shitty relationship, but I never would have thought…" She shook her head and reached for her mug of milk.

Sam knew that they had gone to school together, even though they hadn't really known each other in school. Jonesy stayed to herself, for the most part. She had a small handful of close friends and didn't really deal with other people. Santana even said that she had picked on her, back then. "I was a bitch, but I didn't deserve for him to tear apart my adolescence and my family relationships like that – without me being prepared. He's always been a douchebag, to be honest. But I never would have thought that he would take it that far!"

"Well, he did," Sam said and squeezed his hands between his thighs.

"I need a cigarette," she said.

"I'm trying to quit," he told her. "I can stand outside with you, though."

"I can wait until we leave," she told him. "He always had a temper, but he was so much of a pushover. I'm just… I'm sorry. This is a lot for me to wrap my head around."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

Santana moved around to go sit next to him and rested her head on his shoulder, "Sam, you shouldn't be holding shit like this inside. I know I give you a lot of crap, but you know that I love you and Jonesy." He wrapped an arm around her. Of course he knew. She sniffled and wiped her face, "I just need a moment. This shit is heavy."

"She deserves something good. I wouldn't ever ask her to give up anything for me… but what if this baby is not good for her. What if it just reminds her of everything that was wrong with the whole her and Finn thing? It's done enough damage."

"Sam, you don't really have a say in this. I mean, you can tell her what you think, how you feel, but it's her body, she's the one who was attacked and she's the one who legally gets to decide what happens."

"What if this child makes her happy, then one day, here comes Finn, harsh court battles, ugly exchanges and the system forces her to share with him? That would kill her. There's just too many unknowns!" Sam said and rubbed his eyes.

"There's always gonna be unknowns, though, Trouty. I mean – the world's a shit place. People attack gays, try to deny us rights to marriage and adoption and sometimes just common things like being able to go to the bathroom if you might not look like who you are! But, does that mean that Britt and I just shouldn't even bother being involved? The truth is that there are unknowns for everybody, so we have to hold on to whatever joy we find." She sat up and touched his cheek, "Don't waste up your time to be happy by worrying about all the ways it can be ruined."

Sam jumped when he saw Mercedes on the couch when he came in. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"It was hard to sleep after you left," she said and shrugged her shoulders. "You alright?"

"Yeah. Come on," he reached for her hand and helped her up to lead her to the bedroom. She turned to hug him right outside of the door and bounced back. "What?" He asked.

"Nothing. You just smell like…" _Perfume… _"Smoke," she said.

"Yeah. Quitting is not as easy as I wish it were. I'll throw my clothes in the hamper," he said. She was studying his face and he smiled, uncomfortably, "What is it?" He asked.

"You love me right?" She asked.

"Yes, I love you," he told her.

"That's all that matters," she said, sadly and went into the bedroom to lay down. Sam discarded his smoky clothes in the hamper in the mini laundry room and came to bed, snuggling up to her when he did, but now it was Mercedes who couldn't sleep. That perfume smelled familiar. She just couldn't place it and even though she knew she should go to sleep and not worry about it, she couldn't stop herself.


	19. Chapter 19

**Don't Make Me Over 19**

Mercedes took a deep breath as she looked over her schedule… This shit was unreal! Sooo… She had lunch and dinner meetings, rehearsals for recordings, makeup designs to coordinate with Unique's outfits for the show, doctor's appointments, therapy, group therapy, couple's therapy, and church with her family… She sighed and shook her head, then tensed up completely when Sam came into the kitchen. "What do you want for breakfast?" He asked.

"Can't eat," was her simple reply.

"I'll make you some toast," he said, grabbing the bread.

"I said I'm not eating," she snapped. Sam paused and looked at her. She didn't want to face that angry glare that she felt in her peripheral. "My daughter is having a moment, okay?" He sighed and threw the bread on the counter before storming out of the kitchen. _This was inevitable. _She knew that the bit of happiness that she and Sam were having together would fade. _Should've never nodded my damn head… _"I have a doctor's appointment this morning!" She called out.

"I know," he said in a normal tone, but she still heard it, from the other room.

"You know… so, are you coming?" She asked.

"Didn't I say that I was?" He asked, speaking a little bit louder, and with a bit more attitude. "We find out the baby's sex, so why would I miss it?" He asked.

"I was just checking!" She practically yelled, and got up from the table, about to cry as she snatched her things from the top. She went storming towards the front door, but he jumped in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. "Can you move?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you," he said and looked down at her sad face. "Please… Today is a really important ay for you and I don't want to ruin it."

"I'll be fine," she said, with her lip practically quivering.

"Be that as it may, I shouldn't have snapped. I know that you're under a lot of pressure and I don't need to add to it more stress." Sam offered and bit his lip as he waited for her to reply. She didn't. Instead, she moved out of his embrace and towards the door. "Jonesy! Are you kidding? What the hell did I even do? You've been acting all standoffish with me for almost two weeks, now."

"You're right. I'm the one who said that I would understand if you had to have your physical needs met somewhere else. I shouldn't be jealous of Marley or whoever it is. I just wish that you'd respected me enough to at least tell me!" She said and started crying. "You came home smelling like a woman's perfume, and you told me that you had gone for a drive."

Sam stood still, for a moment, then said, "You are accusing me of cheating? I've never cheated on anyone, ever. So why the hell would I start now that I've finally bagged the love of my fucking life? Jesus, Jonesy! Why didn't you just ask me for an explanation? I could have told you that I hung out with Santana and she ended up needing some comfort. So, she laid on me and cried for a bit, to get it out of her system! I… I can't believe that you actually think that I would cheat on you!"

"What I believe is that Sam Evans is a man that I have not known to spend more than a few nights alone in a row. Sam Evans is a man who lost his virginity as a boy, fresh into puberty and has been having pretty regular sex (usually with a girlfriend) from that time into the present – in which he has a girlfriend who trembles when he touches her… who winces at the thought of being intimate," she sobbed. "And he has needs."

"You know what I really need? For you to just trust me and just fucking love me, already! Is it really that hard to love somebody who is good to you and trying to do right by you in every single way? Don't you think you deserve it?" He asked, frustrated as all hell.

"I'm sorry," she said and wiped her face. "I, uh… I have to go. I have a busy week. Please, don't be late to the doctor's."

"Jonesy…" He pleaded, but she shook her head and left. She felt horrible for accusing him. She felt terrible for not trusting him.

Kurt presented an emerald green and royal purple two piece outfit to Jonesy and Unique with a "Tah dah!" Jonesy's eyes lit up and she reached for it. "Your two favorite colors – complete with a Moulin Rouge feel to the style, plenty of cleavage for your ample breasts, exposed belly as to not oppress our baby, and…"

"Feathers!" She cheered, strumming her hands across the feathers, "Tailfeathers! I've got to sing Shake a Tailfeather, now! I'm going try this on!"

"Girl, stop. What you think – that Kurt and I care what your lady parts look like. You can change, right here. The studio's locked," Unique said. "Jeremiah dropped off the jewelry that I ordered. You can look through it to see if there's anything that sparks your fancy."

As Jonesy undressed, she claimed, "I have already thought of four potential jewelry matches for this outfit out of my own stock, Girl. I have been waiting my whole life for a damn showgirl feather outfit! I don't know how to make clothes!" They laughed.

"I'm just glad that you seem to be in a better mood than you were when you got here," Kurt said. She frowned and Unique gave him an evil eye. "What? We're all family, here. Jonesy, tell us what's up."

"I accused Sam of sleeping around this morning and I was wrong and I really hurt his feelings – the thing that I do best and hate the most about myself," she said.

"Well, that is quite an insult to his intelligence. Like, honestly – who would cheat on you? Aside from like major douchebag?" Kurt asked, lacing up the front of her blouse for her. "Suck up to him. If you accused him and was wrong, you not only hurt him, but probably made him want to do wrong. Wounded males can be pretty shifty. Don't give him a chance to switch to the 'fuck it' dial."

"I see him in a couple of hours, at my doctor's appointment." She sighed and shook her head, "I feel like I'm just shit at any relationship that involves actual emotions and not just passionate desire."

"Because you don't want it badly enough," Unique remarked. When Jonesy threw her a look, she defended, "Well, if you did, I don't know anybody more capable of doing what they set their mind to than you, so I can't imagine you just not knowing how to do _anything. _What kind of makeup you have in mind for this outfit?"

"I'm thinking something with glitter and slash or metallic. I'm leaning towards rainbow streaks – but only in shades of green and shades of purple. Gaudy long eyelashes with jewels on the tips and feathers, of course – sparkly feathers, at that! Ooh… maybe I can get some butterfly wings made?" She looked happily and expectant at Kurt who turne her to face the mirror.

"How could I even think to say no to this face?" He asked.

"I just had the vision of your choreography!" Jonesy cheered. "You crawl in, wearing whatevs – I don't know a pea soup green onesie with matching booties. You can come through the set, pulling pieces of strategically placed material from all over and wrapping yourself up in it, then cocoon and BAM – They see the cast and all of them and by the time you're shown again, You're in your outfit, just working your sexy, and I'm in the background, singing and dancing." She shimmied towards the mirror.

"We can maybe duet it. Both of us doing the same thing, coming from different sides of the studio and when you're singing the rest of the song alone, we can cut to me coming up the runway and the contestants can follow me out. We'll show a few seconds of each of them, then the group photo, then me, THEN – you can pull open the curtain and the camera can close in on it and that will lead to the start of the show."

"We make so many plans for the budget that we have," Jonesy said.

Unique shrugged and commented, "I can tap into my blowjob contributions for some of the financing…" Jonesy almost fell over laughing.

Sam didn't feel like coming to the doctor's office, but he was a man of his word. After not only the way Jonesy had been acting towards him, in addition to the fact that he still wasn't completely comfortable about her baby situation, in the first place, the fact that she thought that he had been sleeping with someone else just really irritated him. _How could she ever think that? _He looked at her name and photo come across his phone and answered, "I'm at home, waiting for you to get here," he said.

"Ok. I might need help getting some stuff out of my car," she told him.

"Alright," he replied, dryly.

"I love you, Sam. I'm sorry that I'm so fucked up and that it hurts so much to love me. I really am trying, with all of my heart to do right by you," she said.

He sighed. "Okay, Babe. See you in a bit." When he hung up, he shook his head. It hardly mattered what she did to him or how she did it. He couldn't stay mad at her and he couldn't stop loving her with all of his heart. He grabbed an apple and sat outside on the porch to wait for her. When her car pulled up, he got up to go help her with whatever. Sam approached the car on the driver's side and opened her door for her. "What do you have with you?" He wondered, looking at miscellaneous stuff in her backseat and passenger's seat.

"A bunch of stuff. Mostly stuff for the show that is eating my entire world," she replied and hugged him tightly. He kissed her briefly, then began to get things out of the backseat, while she got some things from the front.

"Are you allowed to carry that?" He asked.

"You know that I'm not gonna endanger myself," she reminded him. "I want to make sure that everything is kept separated that needs to be." She set some things in her happy room and told him that he could set the rest in the living room for now. "I just don't want to leave it in the car, just in case."

"Yeah, I get it," he told her. "You need anything?"

"No," she said and took his hand to hold on the way to the truck. He helped her into it, then got in on the other side.

First, he started the truck, then he turned it off and took a deep breath. "I don't want to stress you out, but… you know I wouldn't cheat on you, right? I need to hear you say that you know that would never happen."

"Okay," she said, avoiding his look. "I'm sorry that I reacted that way and I promise that I'll make it up to you."

"The only way that you can make it up to me is to believe me!" He said.

"I believe you. I had a lapse in judgment – not my first nor last," she said, finally looking at him. _God, why did he have to look so hurt? _"Sammy, it kills me to know that I hurt you. It breaks my heart that I hurt you. You're my heart, Babe." She told him and stroked his arm.

Sam let out a shaky breath and leaned in to kiss her. "I love you, too. Let's do like we said when we first began therapy together – we gotta talk shit out, Jonesy. No matter what it is. I need for us to be on the same page."

"I'm trying to do that. I promise. I'll do my best. That's all that I can do," she said.

"Okay. Okay. That's right. Now, we got a baby to find out about," he said and started the truck.

"YOU got a baby to find out about. I know that I have a perfectly healthy little princess forming."

Mercedes laughed, yet again at Sam's crinkled up face and held herself as she did. "You okay, Sam?" She asked.

"I'm still trying to see how to sneak out/sneak in proof the house. All the girls whose houses I snuck into as a teenager? I'm not here for the karma of that," he said. "Rose bushes outside of all windows and bars ON all the windows should help. But, if they're like me, they'd do whatever it takes to get into them windows or the back door. Maybe I can get a guard dog. I thought that I would want your baby to look like you, but I honestly hope that she looks like Frankenstein Monster. I hope that she's considered the ugliest girl in the class," he fussed.

"Rude. We both know that's not happening. There's nothing but hot genes in my family. I look more like my dad than my mom and I'm still the entire bomb. There's no way that my girl is gonna be ugly. BUT, I was very, very glad to be able to get dressed so that I could do my 'in your face' dance."

"God, I was hoping that you were wrong. I've always said that I didn't want any daughter. I just wanted boys. I can't even handle having a younger sister. Oh my God, I think I'm gonna pass out…"

"NOT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING, SAM!" She yelled. He laughed and squeezed her knee. She laughed too. "You're gonna be a great dad to her and anybody else that you father. I can say that without a doubt."

"I'm gonna be like the dad on Footloose. Our kids are gonna HATE me!" He said, with a frown. "I'm gonna need consolation kisses."

"I got you covered, Mister," she said and cackled at his still sour face.

They entered the house and Sam went to the bathroom while Jonesy rushed to her happy room to get something. He washed up and got dressed for work while she set things up. When he came out there was a bouquet of flowers on the table, a basket of his favorite fruit, and a gift basket. "Hey, what's all that?" He asked.

"Me sucking up to you," she said, shyly. She bit her lip and came up to him with a smile, "I want to prove that I'm just as dedicated to you as you are to me, and I promise – I do trust you." She placed her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Woman… are you trying to make me miss work?" He asked, getting a grip of her hips and smiling against her lips.

"I wouldn't be mad, if you did…" She said looking into his eyes.

Sam felt the stirring inside of him. No… That wasn't a good idea. "Baby, I really shouldn't," he practically moaned. His breath hitched when she brushed against him. "Hey!" He said and moved backwards from her. "Babyyy…" He moaned, breathing deeply.

"I'm not being a tease. I'm feeling frisky," she said, poking her lip out.

Sam groaned, "I gotta go to work. If you're still feeling good when I get home, then we can do frisky stuff, then." She nodded sadly. "And… I hope that you don't think that you have to do things with me. I told you – no pressure."

"I wouldn't cave to pressure, Sam. Unless it's the pressure that my hormones are putting on my good-good to get some attention."

"The good-good needs attention?" He asked, with an eyebrow raised, then pulled out his phone. "Hey – Jonesy needs me at the house, I'm not gonna be able to make it on time. I'll get back to you in a couple of hours if she's alright. Thanks. Yeah, take care." He set the phone on the table and told her, "Don't get used to me doing that. So… what do you want to do?" He wondered.

"I want to take it slow, but I want to make you feel good," she said. "You don't have to do anything to me. I just want to be there for you." She rubbed his shoulders and said, "So, why don't we go into the bedroom and see how far I can get in that endeavor."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"So, it kinda sounds like what you and Sam are doing, Stevie and I are doing in reverse," Sheila commented. "I mean, with Stevie and I – at first there was nothing sexual at all. I spent pretty much every moment of my day checking in with him and checking on him and stuff. Sometimes, he'd get right back to me. Sometimes, it would take him all day to respond." She shrugged her shoulders. "But, we communicate more with each other than with anyone else that either of us knows. Every single day and for hours at night. Plus, the weekends I spend out there, he never lets me out of his sight." Sheila blushed.

"But, you two are sexual with each other, already?" Jonesy asked.

"About a month after we started talking, I went for my visit – my usual hotel, scheduled to arrive at my usual time. He was already at the hotel, waiting in the lobby with this," she pulled some photos up on her phone of Stevie with a life sized stuffed cute scarecrow, a bouquet of balloons and a gigantic lollipop. "And when we got to the room, a little while later, he presented a bottle of champagne, flowers were delivered to me, and he gave me this really awesome choker." Jonesy closely looked at the brown collar with a round medallion on it that had a bee and the name 'Honeybee' on the back, with a date.

"Wow. So… then you gave it up?" Jonesy asked, though she was stating it more like a statement.

"Well, he told me that he wanted to touch me, but he didn't want me uncomfortable, so he told me that whenever it got uncomfortable to just tell him to stop. As it turned out, I was teased up and down, backwards and forwards. We didn't have sex and I came over and over again. It was like nothing that I ever had happen to me before. Even when I was sexually active, I never had anything like what he was doing to me. He said that he was trying to make me want him." She laughed, "He did an excellent job with that. I was begging him for it by the third night of that torture. Since then, we've been practically normal."

"Practically," Jonesy repeated.

"Yeah. That's actually what I wanna talk to you about… You know how in group, you've mentioned that during your addiction years you had a fetish and you were involved with a dominant? I'm wondering if you have any pointers for me? I've been doing my research and…"

"Whoa… wait… you and Stevie are doing bdsm?" Jonesy asked.

"Not the s/m part. See, the weekends that I've spent with Stevie, he's done pretty much all of the planning and everything. I just have to be present and follow instructions. It's always so comforting not to worry too much about, well, anything. I love following his lead. I love the control and the power that he naturally and silently commands. I love how safe I feel in his hands, at his disposal…" Sheila stared at Jonesy and mentioned, "I thought that you would understand this."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really have that type of arrangement," Jonesy confessed. "I was a glutton for pain and I longed for abuse. Mine was all about consenting to be degraded. I guess some part of me felt like if I could make a conscious decision about it, then I was the one with the true power. But, it was bittersweet, because I simply wasn't cut out for it. I would love the suffering, but I would hate myself for loving it. It did a number on my confidence that I didn't know it could do." Jonesy laughed and shook her head, "But, my old dominant, Nick has been in those kind of relationships for years and I'm willing to bet that he has a submissive that you could talk to for some tips."

"I kinda hoped to talk to somebody that I was familiar with, but contact him for me and check, if you don't mind and we'll see how that goes?" Sheila suggested.

"Yeah, sure." Jonesy nodded, then filled her mouth with air and let it out, "Um, so who brought this subject up?" She asked.

"Stevie. He didn't say 'Hey, wanna try some bondage stuff?' It was more like, he was saying things to me while teasing me and mentioned that he should tie me up, so that I couldn't get away from what he was trying to do to me. It was sexy, though – not like creepy or nothing. He was saying that he wasn't going to have sex with me until I begged for it like a good girl and that I was naughty, because I was trying to squirm away from his mouth…" She shuddered and blushed. "So, then afterwards, we were wrapped up in each other and I teasingly said, 'Maybe next time you should bring some rope,' and he told me that he had some, if I was serious. So, I naturally asked him why he had rope and he playfully told me to tie up naughty little girls when I want them to beg for me.' It took me all of three seconds to realize that he was being dead serious. I guess he saw this worried look on my face and he started to explain to me that he had a few fuck buddies that he used rope play with and sometimes master and pet roles, but that he had never actually been seriously involved with someone in that regard and he really wanted to be able to do that someday. He said that he wants to be trusted completely, needed unconditionally and wanted uncontrollably. I… I think I'm ready to sign on for it," she admitted.

"I never try to judge relationships or give advice on them," Jonesy said. Sheila hear a huge but coming on, but instead, Jonesy simply sighed, smiled and reached for her drink, "Congratulations."

"So, did you and Sam go all the way with your…?" Sheila didn't finish the question before Jonesy sighed again and shook her head. _No. _"Oh. It takes time, though. I mean – you were attacked by someone close to you and it was only a few short months ago. I was attacked almost a year ago and I didn't even date until Stevie, so… It's not a bad sign that you couldn't do it. It's good that you aren't pushing yourself."

"It wasn't me who couldn't do it," Jonesy said. She set her cup down and confessed, "Sam is scared to take it there with me. He keeps insisting that he wants to make sure that I'm ready, because not too long ago, I wasn't – I know I wasn't. But, now… if we start up, he always retracts and tells me that he doesn't want our first time to be a mistake on my part. That he has to know that I really want it and that I won't resent him later. I guess I would respect his decision more if he just said that he isn't ready. But the fact that he keeps putting it all on me, and of course, I feel like I've been such a bad friend and not exactly the best girlfriend that I don't know if I'm wrongfully taking offense as an excuse to sabotage this or if I should really be offended."

"Have you told him how you feel?" Sheila asked.

"Yes! This time, I have. He just reiterates the same thing and tries to assure me that its best for me."

Sheila commented, "Well, it's a little unfair of him that your generous with BJs and he won't be generous with the D. You should call him on that. You should be able to get what you need from him, too."

She sighed and said, "We're gonna have to wrap up lunch, though. I'm supposed to meet my mother to pick up some of Ra's old stuff for Princess Babycakes."

"Well, damn – she's PRINCESS Babycakes, now?" Sheila asked, laughing.

"Girl, Sam is at that house, tripping with himself – trying to formulate ways to keep my baby locked up in a damn tower so that wicked witches and evil boys can't get to her." She winked and began to gather up her things.

"Ok, Love. I'll see you later this week at group, and I'll cover the check. You know how I am." Sheila smiled and accepted the hug her friend gave her before leaving, then went to text Stevie, while she finished her lunch, alone.

Maryvonne had several items set on the table and several bags and boxes of things for Mercedes. "Okay, between my preggo status and your heart, how the heck are we supposed to get this stuff into my car?" Jonesy asked.

"Howard is here," Maryvonne said and rung a little bell.

"Really? You're calling your employee with a bell, Mom?" Jonesy asked, incredulously.

"I can't yell. It makes me feel exhausted," she said, simply. Within a few moments, Howard showed up and she told him, "Mercedes needs all of this in her car. Don't disturb us."

"Yes, Mrs. Jones," Howard answered and nodded his head once at Mercedes. She watched the stubby little man pick up one of the boxes with much effort and begin to bring it to her car and she popped the trunk for him with her remote.

"Disturb us from what?" She wondered.

"I have to have a sit down with you. Maserati is with her sitter, off of the grounds and you and I are going to the gazebo." She gathered up some things from the table and Jonesy followed her outside to sit at the patio table on the huge gazebo, with a fountain in the middle of the table, which was built around the fountain and untouched, for the most part by the water.

"So… I hadn't seen this thing yet. Fancy," she commented.

"You'll have to see it in the spring. I border it with flowers and hang some up on those inside hooks. Godfrey and I were talking about renewing our vows here. God willing." Maryvonne began to sit things onto the table and Jonesy flinched when she saw a photo of Will Schuester, and cringed when she saw a photo of Finn...

"Mom, what the hell is this sit down about?" She asked.

"It's about what we need to do," Maryvonne said. "I had things looked into. When I had that teacher of yours watched by the investigator, I confiscated your diary and I read about all of the things that happened between the two of you. My PI found a storage area in the guy's name that I paid a professional to get me into. The place was kind of like a trophy room. He had photos of you – photos that a mother would never want to see of her daughter. He had letters, tapes of phone conversations… it was sickening. It was horrific. But, I knew that if I exposed him for it that your educational future would be at risk. If people found out about the two of you, they would have discredited accomplishments that, while I never fully supported, I knew that you managed on your talents and not his promotion!"

Maryvonne placed a news article in front of Mercedes: Human Remains Found in Suspicious Fire. Mercedes read bits and pieces, _Director of the Arts Program at McKinley High, Will Schuester's body identified in the wreckage of a fire which began in a storage unit, belonging to the same… Fire seems to have started under suspicious circumstances… It is possible that the fire was deliberately started, however – as to whether Schuester was involved and why he was inside of the building… _"Mom, you didn't." Mercedes said. It wasn't a question. She refused to believe it.

Maryvonne laughed, sadly and took a swallow, "Now, can you see why I became so outraged when you started shirking the counselors and school off?"

"What did you? How did you even?" Mercedes asked and started crying.

"I called him from a payphone nearby and I told him that I had broken into his storage unit and I was going to destroy him for ruining my daughter's life. He came rushing to the storage unit – either to stop me or to destroy he evidence. He didn't see me when I injected him with the tranquilizer. I had already started burning some of the stuff. All I had to do was burn the rest of the trash."

"Mom.."

"I wasn't done," Maryvonne said and placed Dustin Goolsby's information on the table. "Of course, this was years later. With Schuester, I'd studied him. I'd researched him. I knew what he did and I hated it, but with what he had, I couldn't let him mess up your future any further. But, with this _trash, _I had honestly thought that you had lost it. I had honestly thought that you were either lying or mistaken. I was so upset with myself by the time that I realized that I had failed to protect you, yet again from a predator that I just snapped. I saw him leaving a date and heading for his car. I was going to tell him that we would bring the charges back, that we wouldn't remain silent. But, when I saw him kiss that woman, see her to her car and wave, like some kind of loving boyfriend – while my daughter's life was in shambles…"

Maryvonne placed the newspaper article down, "I just hit the gas and I smashed him. I wasn't disguised. I didn't have a plan. I just did it and kept going, crying, freaking out, because I was SURE that I had just thrown my life away. But, when I did it, it was worth it. It was worth it to make up for the fact that you needed help and the person who I placed you with for that help hurt you worse." She sobbed, "I just couldn't stand the thought of you being some object to be violated, but he obviously had the capacity to give something better. Why weren't you worthy of a date? Of a goodnight kiss? Of a safe escort to your car? Why did you have to be attacked, but she got to be appreciated? He didn't die, but he's never been the same. Can't move from the neck down. He'll never rape anybody else's daughter."

"Mom…" Mercedes reached for Finn's file and her eyes questioned the woman.

"I'm not as young or as quick as I used to be," Maryvonne said. "But, I had to do my homework. "This trash has a history of violence and a bad temper…"

"What?" Mercedes asked.

"He had father issues, as a child. His dad passed away when he was a baby or small child. If someone said something about his father or even his mother, he got into fights. When he was at McKinley, he was in the Principal's office a number of times, in regards to his temper – throwing chairs in classrooms, attacking people who said the wrong thing to him… But, it was always excused. He was a star football player and he had mentors and coaches to vouch for him. He would get a slap on the wrist and move along. He went into the military and got time and got kicked out for fighting a superior."

"WHAT?" Mercedes asked. "I thought that he had some kind of injury…"

"They don't let you go for 'some type of injury,' unless you're missing limbs or have a hole in you," Maryvonne said. "The officer told him that his dad was no war hero – that he was a junky and a coward and he beat the man, nearly to death. He got a psych evaluation while locked up and he was 'treated,' but kicked out. Then, you met him – trying to get himself together. So, you got to meet a version of him that seemed docile, harmless, nice, maybe even you thought he was a good guy. But, from what I've found out – he never had much luck with the ladies. He had a girlfriend cheat on him with his best friend, get pregnant, pass the baby off as his, then gave it away when the truth was found out. He had a girl take his virginity then never say another nice word to him again. By the time you got to him – with your friendly treatment and sweet behavior, he became obsessed. He didn't know that women might be that nice to him. But, the monster was there. He always was. When things went wrong, he attacked you and now you have a baby inside of you that you wanted to keep."

"That I am keeping," Mercedes corrected.

"That you are keeping, unless of course he somehow fights you on this and you somehow lose."

"How would I even, with what you just told me?" Mercedes asked.

"Because, the things he did in school, he ALWAYS got a pass for. What he did in the military, he was 'treated' for and after the fact, there are dozens of people, including you who would have to testify if asked that he was a peaceful, kind, loving person who treated his friends right and completely adored you, even though you didn't return the love. He looks like a man who made some mistakes as a kid and grew up and changed. His attack on you might be excused because of who they say that you are and his attack on the Rachel woman might be used against him, but would it hold up next to the list that they'll create against you?"

"I gotta have faith Mom," Mercedes said and wiped her eyes. God, she had a headache.

"Faith is good. A plan is better. Merci, they will bring up the fact that you had the reputation that you did in high school. They will bring in exes. They will bring in enemies, friends. They will bring up your psychiatric files. They'll bring in the doctor you seduced. They'll bring up the doctor that you accused of rape, then retracted, who was hit by a black woman in a car – a woman who was never found and a car that was never recovered."

"How did you pull that off, by the way?" Mercedes asked.

"Godfrey took care of it. They took the license plate, and put it on a different car – the exact same one, but not brand new, and stripped the other one. If anyone had gotten my plate, the police wouldn't have found anything on the one that I had… but nobody saw enough for the police to even come to me and after about a year, I traded the thing out. Don't change the subject… How far are you willing to go to protect your daughter from a man that would hurt her?"

"I…" Mercedes shook her head, "I'd like to think that I would do anything."

"You better be ready to," Maryvonne said. "This world most certainly won't do it, and like I said – I'm not as young or as quick as I used to be." Maryvonne took a few deep breaths, barely able to catch it.

"You need your oxygen, Mom?" Mercedes asked, with worry.

"I need to know that this man is going to be handled," she said, tapping the photo of Finn with a finger. "But, as I said, you don't need to be connected to this. You need to get into your car, bring that stuff home, get Sam to get it out of the car for you, look through it and send the rest off. I've been meaning to drop it off at a donation center, but when I get sick and I'm down, Godfrey doesn't think about that kind of stuff."

"I'll make sure that what I don't keep gets sent to charity," Mercedes said.

"We'll have to go crib shopping soon. What colors are you putting in her nursery?" She asked, gathering her things up.

"If we end up staying in the same house, she'll have my happy room as her nursery – which means dark green walls with sunflowers and ladybugs and Tigger. If we end up moving, I'm thinking rainbows and angels."

"I think I heard one color in all of what you said," Maryvonne commented as they headed for the house.

"Uh, yeah – because I don't think in one dimension, Mom. You should see my work, sometime. I'll bring by one of my work portfolios for you."

"That'll be nice. I've tired myself out, but Howard should be done loading your car by now." They walked to the house and sure enough, the car was loaded. Mercedes hugged her mother, thanked her and drove off, feeling conflicted and confused. She wasn't exactly sure of how to handle the information that her mother had given her. Maryvonne saw her away and made a quick phone call. "My daughter isn't cut out to handle this thing on her own. I need for you to take care of things for me. I don't care what it takes or how much it costs to do."

"It's good, Mrs. J. Things were already set to go," he said.

"Well then. Green light, Azimio. And tell your mother that I said hello." She hung up the phone, locked her stuff away and headed for bed. She needed to lie down. Azimio would call her when the Finn issue was sorted out. "He'll never rape anyone else's daughter again, either."


	20. Chapter 20

_TRIGGER WARNING: Rape referenced and rape scene_

**Don't Make Me Over 20**

Mercedes found herself pretty worried about what her mother might do. It was overwhelming to think of her mother setting somebody up to kill him, trying to kill somebody else, and thinking about killing yet a third person, if only she were healthier, to do so… But, for the first time in a long time, as sick as she felt like it should have been; she felt loved. She felt that she had missed out on things with her mother, because she had always presumed that she didn't care. She had presumed that she didn't believe her and that she didn't love her.

But, this new information was not something that she could afford to share with anyone. She couldn't speak of it without putting her mother in danger of being found out… not even to Sam. Sam was asleep on the couch when she came home. He had been working crazy hours, to get some overtime, saving up for moving. She turned the TV off and set her purse on the table. She left him a note that if he wasn't too tired, she needed him to get the things out of her car at his earliest convenience. Everything hurt on her body, so she hoped that a hot shower would help… but it didn't. It was probably tension. It was probably the stress.

She got out, lit some candles, turned on some music and lied down with a book. Could she even read, like this? She had to try to do something. Just lying there would have certainly made her feel like she was losing her mind. She tried to read her book, but felt a headache coming on. She attempted to set it down and just close her eyes, but she felt restless and gathered it up again. She read the same line fourteen, maybe fifteen times, then placed the book aside and went to check on Sam. He was out cold. She sighed and debated on whether or not she should disturb him to call him to bed when his phone went off and she reflexively grabbed it to silence it. It was a text, from Marley: **Haven't heard from you in a while and guess who's free tonight? I'm lonely… Gonna send pix! **

She sighed and put the phone back down. It started vibrating and she left the room. She went into the kitchen. Maybe if she ate something, she would feel better. It was still pretty early… but not a lot of time had passed since the last time she ate. She heard some shuffling and looked to see Sam checking his text. "Hey, Sleepyhead!" She cheered.

"Earned that sleep, Lady!" He said and began to reply to his text.

"I was gonna tell you to come get in bed with me, then I decided to eat, then I realized I'm not hungry. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. My body hurts," she said.

"Need a massage?" He asked.

"I can't imagine that one would hurt, but then – I'd want me some sex and we both know how opposed to having sex with me you are," she said.

"Lies and fallacies!" He said and jumped up from the couch, tossing his phone onto the table as he did. He came into the kitchen and greeted her with kisses. "You smell good. I might bite you." He pressed against her and she felt his hard on.

"What's got you so worked up?" She asked.

He gave her a look, "Got this tasty little chick who lets me call her mine. She's in the kitchen, glowing and shit and smelling like some pie in the sky…"

"Or did you get a friendly text?" She asked, playfully.

He tilted his head, "What are you even talking about?" He asked.

"Marley texted. I silenced your phone so you wouldn't get woken up. She said she was gonna send pix. Did she?" She asked.

"Yeah. And I told her that we're together and I didn't need her sending me anything like that." Sam backed away from her and said, "I'm gonna go lay back down." He went into the bedroom and she heard him flop onto the bed. "Massage is still on the table!" He called out. She crept back into the bedroom and saw him, shirtless and removing his pants. "Can I get one in return?" He asked.

She smiled and nodded, "Of course."

Finn always thought of her before he went to sleep. It felt like forever since the last time he saw her. It had only been a few months. He stared at the bottom of his cellmate's bunk, imagining her face there. She was removing her clothes and smiling down at him. She leaned forward to kiss him and whisper to him how good it felt for him to fuck her. She loved it. She wanted it. She touched himself. She would have it again. When he got out, he would go to her and she would forgive him for losing his temper that night. She always forgave everyone for everything. She could hold on to it on the inside, but she would let him back in her life.

Nobody liked to tell him about her, but he had gotten word that she was pregnant. When he asked Kurt about it, Kurt told him that it was Sam's. "She's with Sam, now. Just leave it," Kurt had said.

"Is she happy?" He wondered.

"Yes. Happy and she wouldn't change things for the world, Finn," Kurt said.

"She's only happy when it rains," Finn said. Happy with Sam? He wasn't buying it, nor was he buying that was Sam's baby that she was pregnant with. People still didn't know about their last time together, apparently. It strangely coincided with how pregnant she was. Unless she gave it up to Sam in that same week (which he highly doubted – even though it was her), that was his baby and he would have to insist that she take him back, for real, not as some secret fuck toy, so that they could raise their family.

His dad died when he was too small to even remember him. His mom kept getting her heart broken before she met Kurt's dad. Finn always wanted a family of his own and Dolphin was a crazier bitch than he even thought, if she thought he was gonna let anybody else, especially Sam have her and their child. If he had to put Sam down…

_ Mercedes was rocking out at the show and Finn saw her, dressed in furry leg warmers, a short party dress and tights with boots and a purple wig. She was dancing by the stage and reaching out for Tina's leg. She was drunk, but cheery. She was full of energy – the life of the party, the star of the show; because half of the audience was paying more attention to her jamming to the band than they were to the stage. _

_ After the band was finished, Tina found her friend and introduced her to the band, "This is Artie – our lead singer and Mr. Rock N' Roll (literally)," _

"_Can I ride in your chair?" Jonesy asked._

"_Sure, sometime," Artie answered with a smile. Tina and Artie were seeing each other, back then._

"_This is our drummer, Finn," she said._

_Finn shook her hand and smiled shyly, "I remember you, from McKinley," he said._

"_Yeah – I was pretty memorable, I think," she laughed. "But, I remember your face. You played football, right?" He nodded. "I fucked a lot of football players. Sorry that I missed you," she said and looked him up and down, causing him to blush._

"_Well, I'm still alive," he told her, with a shrug and she cackled and slapped him across the arm._

"_This tall fucker is adorable," she told Tina._

_Tina simply said, "Yeah, he's a sweetheart. And… I'm sure you remember Sam."_

_Now, Sam and Mercedes stared at each other, smiling, lost somewhere in space and time, alone for a moment, while everyone else looked on. They reached out, as though going to shake hands, but both decided half way to hug instead and that made Finn feel smaller, suddenly. The way that they looked at each other…_

He frowned. _Great. _He'd ruined his own wanking. He turned to lie on his side. He hadn't been that curious about her in high school. He was a bit shallower, then. She was slutty, but she was also a bit bigger than he was interested in, at the time. But, there was something about the way that she danced that night. There was something about how she moved and whatever it was within her that drew him in, it continued to do so, over the years until he couldn't separate his heart and mind from her. He just couldn't.

_ His arms were around her as they watched the movie. He could still remember how she smelled and how she felt in his arms. She was soft and snuggly and he couldn't stop himself from growing hard against her body. Although he expected her to put some space between them, she snuggled closer, making him grow harder and at that, he reached around and squeezed her breasts. He played with them and kissed her neck. He undid her pants, pulled them down to play with her body and released himself to slide inside of her when she was wet enough._

_ They ended up on the floor, next to the couch, with her legs hovering over her head, then she was bent over the table, getting pounded from behind. He wanted to have her so bad. He wanted to keep her. But, after they finished, she rushed him into her bedroom, where they had a talk that included how great of a guy she thought he was, but that she didn't want to hurt him. "I'll take what I can get," he told her. From then on, all he could get were booty calls and secret hook ups. Most of the times, she was single._

_ But, at the end, she was with Anthony. He was a douchebag and Finn always hated that she thought he was worthy of being dated and seen with, while he could only hope that she got horny enough to give him a quickie in the parking lot after one of their shows, or to fake sick from a gathering to meet him in a motel, away from their homes, or to invite him over when Sam was not gonna come home until the next day and Anthony was "probably fucking some other bitch tonight." _

_ When she and Anthony broke up, she called Finn over to tell him that she was swearing off of men and that she needed him to be her last. She was going to not have sex for a year, so she said. She just needed it one last time and he was the only person that she could depend on for it, she claimed… That bitch had given Anthony up for Sam! He told her to choose and she chose Sam. It was the right choice, between Sam and Anthony, of course; but, what the fuck about Finn? He could hardly concentrate that night. He made love to her, slow and gentle. He could barely get into it. He apologized, afterwards, but he could tell that she was disappointed._

_ He spent the next month doing everything in his power to try to make her crack. He wanted her to cave. He wanted her to want sex again, to want him again. He tried everything that he could think of. Seducing her, teasing her, "harassing" her, "stalking" her, trying to make her jealous, romancing her… She was acting like she really was going to keep her head straight. By the time he went to visit her that night, he had already determined that he was not taking no for an answer. If he had to force her, he would. She knew she wanted it. He would fuck her into submission and make her his personal possession, as she was meant to be. It didn't really work out that way._

_ She honestly fought him and kept it up. Even when he felt her cum, he could sense that she didn't want him. That just made him want to hurt her more. He was elated to make her cry. He felt good about the condition that he put her in. _

Finn got himself off, moaning as he finished, thinking about what he had done to Dolphin and how it felt when he released inside of her. How beautiful it was going to be when he went back for her and fucked her into submission, again… how perfect things would be with their family. He smiled and wiped his hand off, before going to sleep. This was his typical night in prison.

Finn had gone through his typical day, as usual, until shower time. He noticed that he didn't see the guard posted and saw a group of black guys that he knew of coming in. He turned off his water and made haste to dry off, but the group surrounded him. "Is there a fucking problem?" He asked.

"My man said that you like to beat on and rape black girls," one of them said.

Finn wrapped his towel around himself and said, "Bullshit, fuck off." He tried to push past the guys, but he was restrained. "Fuck you! I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

"My man said to give you a message. It'll be even worse for you if you ever think about going near her again…"

"What the fuck are you doing?" He asked as he was pushed against the wall. Finn tried to scream out, but his towel was used as a gag and he felt this agony of being ripped in half as he was shown exactly what it's like to be forced. He struggled and that made it even worse, but he couldn't escape it. The only thing that he felt that he had to be relieved about was the fact that they didn't take turns. The one guy seemed to be enough for them.

"Just in case you don't believe us," the leader said, showing off a blade. The others turned Finn around, his throbbing anus now pressed against the wall and they spread his legs. The cry that he let out rang through the hallways and the guys left him, there, screaming until he passed out from the pain…

"Did you hear about what happened to Finn?" Puck asked Sam, as they got ready to practice.

"I couldn't give a shit," Sam said, feeling his entire body grow hot and his face glare.

"Yeah, but he got attacked in the shower. He had to be treated for anal rape, AND they cut his dick off," Puck said. Now, Sam turned and looked at Puck. "Fucking scout's honor. Quinn works as a paralegal at the law office of the lawyer that handles Finn and he was all flipping out about his client's rights and suggesting that someone SENT Finn's attackers after him…"

"Wait… Quinn works as a paralegal at a law office?" Sam repeated and curled his lips in disbelief.

"Yes! I told you that she's smart," Puck said. Sam reiterated his side eye. "I think she might be one of those idiot savants," Puck suggested.

"She pretty much just comes across as an idiot," Sam said.

"You liked her," Puck told him.

"Yeah, yeah. But, Quinn is your only source of information on this supposedly crazy attack on Finn while he's in prison?" Sam asked.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the police come to ask Jonesy about it. Finn told his lawyer that somebody sent these dudes after him and that they threatened him to stay away from her before they fucked him over," Puck said. Sam bit his lip and thought for a moment. "If she did send those black dudes after him – damn… she must have still been pretty pissed about that beating. His dick? Gone? That's some 'I Spit on Your Grave' stuff."

Sam set his guitar down as Tina and Artie came in and he pulled his phone out to call Jonesy. "Hey… have you… heard anything about Finn?" He asked and winced when she made a sound at the mention of the name.

"Why the hell would I hear anything about Finn? Not even Kurt – the one person that I know who still communicates with Finn ever even brings him up and I don't think I appreciate you doing it!"

"Sorry. Puck told me that he thinks the police might come to see you," Sam said and repeated everything that Puck had shared with him while Tina and Artie got the story too and reacted in shock to it.

"Quinn is a paralegal at a law office? The fuck?" Jonesy asked.

"Yeah, really," Sam said.

"_I _didn't have anything to do with that," she said. "But, I don't think that I'm upset about it. I wish that I could say that I would never wish that on somebody, but if it's true, I am going to throw a party with all kind of dick souvenirs," She said, harshly, then softly to someone around her, "Supposedly something happened to Finn."

"Who's with you?" Sam asked.

"My mom. We're crib, stroller, car seat, rocker shopping today," she said.

Sam separated himself from the others and told her, "Look, I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but your mom asked me for Finn's name a while back… whenever I first met her. I don't know – she seemed like she had some plans for him."

"I have to go," Jonesy said.

"I'm not trying to be spiteful, Babe. I don't want her to get in trouble. She's in no condition to get put away."

Jonesy said. "I have to go." When she hung up, she turned to Maryvonne, who looked healthier than she had in weeks and said, "Sam seemed to think that you maybe had something to do with Finn's predicament."

"That's a bold statement," Maryvonne said. "This is one of the better ones," she said, drawing attention to a certain crib. "We could get someone to work on it, maybe put a Tigger and some rainbows on it – or the sunflowers or the ladybugs. I think that if we get the right person for the job, we might be able to add all of them without cheapening it – or I suppose that we could get a mobile with sunflowers and ladybugs?"

"I was kinda thinking of maybe doing a cupcake theme for her nursery, since Sam calls her Babycakes… and about Finn…" Jonesy held her hands out in question.

"Some misfortune has befallen him, huh?" Maryvonne asked and waved over one of the salespersons. Jonesy folded her arms and chuckled. "Hi. We need this added to the things that we are ordering for delivery."

"Yes, Mrs. Jones," he said and tagged it for her.

The ladies continued to walk. "How would Sam even know any of Finn's business?" Maryvonne asked, passing her hands absently over different merchandise as they passed it.

"A friend's girlfriend works at the office with Finn's lawyer," she said. "According to her, Finn was anally sexually assaulted and castrated. I would pay money to have heard how she described these events, because she is just about the most basic bitch that I have ever met."

"Ugly stuff. That shouldn't happen to a person. Trash on the other hand…" Maryvonne said.

"Mom, did you have anything to do with that?" She wondered.

"I have certain responsibilities, Mercedes. Monsters can't be allowed to just do whatever they want. Now, hopefully, his will and his pride is broken enough that he heeds the advice given to him. He's probably better off dead and if he ever tries to come near you again, he will get that gift."

"How did you do it, though?" Jonesy wondered.

"I told you that I don't want you worried about that. Now, let's see what kind of luxury strollers they have." Jonesy followed her mother, cautiously. This woman was either out of her mind or really, REALLY supportive of her own tough decisions. Jonesy had to admit, even though she loved the idea of Finn being hurt as much as he had hurt her… she felt extremely off about knowing that he had been hurt for her sake…

Thanksgiving was right around the corner. GOD, things had gone on for longer than Jonesy thought that they would. She and Sam moved out of their house into a different home. Sam just hated the "demon memories," attached to the place and felt better about starting some place new. They found an affordable house for rent in which they were allowed to make any changes that they wished to make inside of, as long as they were willing to pay for necessary changes back in the event of their finding a new place.

While Sam was busy with getting everything moved, with the assistance of the band, group therapy friends, and family; Mercedes stayed with Unique for a few nights. They had work to do to prepare for the first stage of the competition, anyway. Sam was going to have to take apart and put back together Krueger's new cage, set all of the baby items in the nursery, and make sure that the furniture got put in the right rooms. Jonesy knew that if she was around for all of that, she would not rest, trying to control every single movement. Nope – it was best she kept her distance while those details were worked out.

_ She had gotten mail from Finn, from prison and even though she told herself she should simply throw the letters out, she couldn't help but try to read the first few, though she never responded. He started out accusing her and blaming her for what happened to him. He threatened her and told her to be glad that he was no longer able to punish her in "their way" anymore, "Because, if I could, I wouldn't stop fucking you until your insides fell out." She had had enough of that letter, and it was only the second page of six pages. She folded it and tucked it back into the envelope, then stood over the trash with it in her hands for several minutes, never throwing it away._

_ The second letter started with an apology for the first letter and pleas to respond to this one. He began trying to show her how all of this had been a misunderstanding. "You know that I never would have hurt you, if I thought that you really didn't want it, but I know you and I know that you wanted it…" She flipped it over to see if the second page got any better… "I can't live without you, especially now that they've done this to me. You can do whatever you want to me to make me pay, but please, stop avoiding me. Stop acting like I don't matter to you. I love you and I want us to be a family…" She wadded it up and tore the other pages up into pieces, but she didn't throw it away, she put the remains in a little box that she had the first letter inside of, in case she decided to try to read them someday…_

_ The third and final letter that she attempted to read started out with, "After my sincere apology, you still have the audacity to ignore me, you tramp?" And she saw scribbled words of obvious anger, complete with frequent all caps and every cuss word that she could imagine. When Sam came home, she was at the table with the tear-stained third letter, the ripped up second letter and the first letter, tucked back into the envelope. "Is there a way to get inmates to stop sending you mail?" She asked._

"_That motherfucker sent you something?" He asked, angrily._

"_He's sent a couple of things. I didn't want to bother you with it…" Jonesy started, but Sam sat down and started looking through the papers and turning red as he read. Next, he was gathering up the papers. "What are you doing?"_

"_I'm taking this stuff to the police. He can't be writing you, especially not any shit like this! How did they even let him do that?" He wondered._

"_The mailroom doesn't know that I have a restraining order on him and they don't know my address. It just says 'Dolphin' on it and has the address," she said._

"_Well, I'm sure that there's something we can do – talk to the warden or something in order to make sure that VICTIMS of inmates don't receive letters from them. There HAS to be something in place to protect citizens, particularly those that have already been attacked before by that same person," Sam fussed. He set the paper down and left the room, then came back with clear tape. "And this has to be against his restraining order. That should still apply, even though he's locked up, I think. If the prison or the police don't help, then I'll get a lawyer, but what I won't do is let him get away with this." He began to place the pieces of the torn up letter together to tape them up. "And if that doesn't work, I know Mrs. Jones is a phone call away."_

"_Sam!" Jonesy snapped._

"_What, Jonesy? I mean – I know that she's been elusive, but I think that she knows more about what happened to him than she let on. And THIS," he waved the partially reconstructed letter at her, "is in direct violation to the warning that he was given when he was assaulted on the inside."_

"_Kurt says that they had to put him on suicide watch for a while – that he kept insisting that he couldn't live this way and that he had to be a whole man for his family. I think that Kurt thought he meant them, but the letters seem to suggest that he's talking about me and Babycakes. Sam…" Her eyes were terrified and Sam placed both of his large hands over hers to comfort her._

"_Never. He will never get near you again, and I'll be all the way damned if I let him anywhere near our little princess," Sam promised._

_She sniffled, "Every time I have to go to the doctor, I keep thinking that she's going to tell me that my stress levels are too high and that my body rejected her. I keep thinking that something is going to go terribly wrong, and Sam – if anything goes wrong, I lose the ONE good thing that came of me ever having even known Finn. If Babycakes doesn't make it or if he does something and gets to her, I don't know what I would do!"_

"_Baby, I assure you, Finn ain't gonna get anywhere near this girl. Now, I can't speak for nature or fate, but one thing that you definitely never have to worry about is Finn getting through me to get to her." He cupped Jonesy's face. "I won't let him come near either of you. You're my family." Sam leaned in and kissed her._

The move happened not too much longer after the incident with the letters. They filed a complaint to the prison about the issue, contacted the police and when they moved, did not include forwarding services, just in case the situation wasn't rectified. The main reason that only family and the closest of friends were helping with the move was because Jonesy was not going to feel comfortable with nearly anyone knowing where they lived. "What is it that bothers her about people knowing where you two live?" Maryvonne asked Sam. He looked down at her stern face. That little woman was something fierce. He could never understand, but she totally intimidated him, especially now that she had been looking healthier and more resilient.

"Well, she just doesn't want Finn to find out, by the time he gets out," Sam said, trying to busy himself with grabbing things to avoid further exchange on this subject with her.

"Why would she be worried about that? From what she told me, he experienced a tremendous lashing out from karma. Does she have any reason to believe that he doesn't obey fate's caution?" She asked. Sam cleared his throat and tried to think of a smooth way to lie, but she quickly had a look on her face that told him that she knew… She knew that something was up. "I certainly hope that he hasn't tried to reach out to her. I'll check with the warden. She and I are old friends…"

"He sent her some pretty disgusting letters, Ryvie. I mean, disgusting like I read them and almost drove down there and broke in to beat his ass disgusting. I kept them as evidence, in case something comes up in the future, because he seemed to be hellbent on being in Jonesy's life and he was insisting that Babycakes is his and that he's not backing down," Sam said. Mary watched as her son and the woman talked.

Ryvie gave him an irritated smirk and asked, "It was Mercedes' idea not to tell me, wasn't it? I swear, she is always so preoccupied with the condition of my heart!" Sam felt it had more to do with her being preoccupied with the condition of her brain, but kept silent. "I won't say anything to her, then. I won't even mention that. Thank you for being honest with me." She patted him on the arm and said, "I think I'll go get the lemonades, now. Come help Mommy, Ra!" She went inside, with the tot following her and Sam saw her taking her cell phone out. _Shit… No, wait… maybe this was good. How many people had the chance to have a phone call end a chunk of their troubles? But… what about Finn? What would happen to him if she WAS the one orchestrating his punishments?_

Mary came over and asked Sam, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Maryvonne was just finding out about something else that Finn did to Jonesy," he said.

"I feel sorry for him. If looks could kill, that woman would be a cold-blooded murderer. I'm glad that we raised you right. I wouldn't want you crossing her, that's for sure. The way she's treated Jonesy, I can't imagine what the hell she does to her _enemies_!" Mary commented. Sam shrugged his shoulders and continued to move stuff.

Jonesy had a great time with Unique. They were able to get _some _work done, though most of their time together was spent goofing off and having girlfriends fun times. They did an entire sing along concert to every Mary J Blige and Whitney Houston song ever recorded, some individual and some as a duo. They choreographed some songs to make videos, made a few singing videos and put them online on Unique's website, and made a couple of online videos that Unique said she was gonna edit later – one of the two of them singing Just Fine by Mary J Blige, I'm Every Woman by Chaka Khan and Video by India Arie – in which Jonesy sang, "I will always be 'The Lady Jonesy'" and Unique sang, "I will always be T.H.E. Unique").

Jonesy had the giggle fits when Sam called her to check on her, "Hey, Beautiful – you sound like you're enjoying yourself."

"Unique is drunk off this wine and talking about we need to make an Afro Circus video and do the Harlem Shake in it. I can't with this drunk ass, tonight." She exploded into laughter and added, "She legit just came in here with a couple of rainbow afro wigs probably about three feet in diameter."

"Bitch, don't act like you're too good for Afro Circus!" He heard Unique snap and some struggling and intense giggling on Jonesy's part.

"She's trying to force this wig on my head. She is acting an ass tonight! Girl, will you let me talk to my man for a few minutes?" Jonesy fussed, laughing. Then, she whispered, "If I ever see her with a wine bottle, I'm gonna slap it out of her hand… How was moving with Mare and Maryvonne?"

"It's been interesting. Mom and Dad are sleeping in our bedroom and Stevie and Sheila have the living room. I think I'm gonna curl up in Babycakes' room for the next couple of nights. Ryvie offered for them to stay at Jones Manor, but I think that she creeps Mom out." He laughed.

"That's my mom. Scaring the shit out of good, innocent people since 1967," Jonesy said, with a chuckle. "Especially me. I had the fear of the Lord in me of her for most of my life, and even sometimes now, she has a couple of looks that make me shrink like Mario under attack."

He laughed and said, "I'll miss you tonight, Baby. BUT, Dad and I are putting the bed together tomorrow! Godfrey, Mom and Stevie are gonna help with other furniture that needs to be assembled. We'll be here together soon and we can make it a real home. Without all the shit that we've watched each other go through and put each other through. We can do stuff right, now."

"Yeah. I like that," she said.

"I like you," he replied.

"You better love me," was her response.

"Rawr! Well, I guess I don't have a choice but to love you, do I? I've been doing it this long. Pretty sure that I've got it down pact," Sam said.

"Well, I'VE been doing it for a long time, and I don't have it down, yet. But, I have this amazing teacher. HOT as hell, golden hair, muscular abs, chiseled in all the right places, lips like… Oh great, I've gone and sent myself into waves of hot flashes…" He heard a fan come on and he laughed. "Let me get back to her. She is over there in a rainbow afro wig, having the nerve to be fixing her makeup."

"PLEASE, send me a picture of that!" He said, laughing.

"I'm on it, Babe. She's about to hate Capital T.H.E. Unique tomorrow. I don't believe wine did this to her. She must have some hard liquor around here that she's been hitting without me noticing. Goodnight, Sam. I love you," she said.

"Love you too, Babe. Have fun."


	21. Chapter 21

_If you are reading my other stories, I apologize that DMMO is the only one that I've been updating. There is a lot coming out of my brain right now in this fic and even right now, the next chapter has already been started and is being worked on. As for the other stories, I will update them as soon as I can, but Calliope is working in overdrive over here at DMMO. Thanks for reading. Love y'all._

**Don't Make Me Over 21**

Sam's fingers brushed Mercedes' as she passed him the gravy that she knew he was about to take the rest of. That man ALWAYS took entirely too much gravy. She watched as he doused his chicken, potatoes, and macaroni in it and shook her head, laughing to herself. "Can't have too much gravy, Woman!" He fussed at her as he set the gravy boat down on the table.

"Of course not," she told him, giggling. He turned to look at her and she saw this glimmer in his eyes. She smiled shyly and turned away. Things had been going well. They were in therapy together, working on their communication and their friendship and their love. This was their first Thanksgiving as a couple and she never really imagined herself to be the "take home to Mom" kind of woman, at least not in a long time. Now, not only was she that woman, but she had nothing but high hopes for her future. She had stuck to her decision, now six months big and constantly gloating about calling it right on having a girl.

Rachel and she had become close – Finn was still in prison for his attack on her and as far as Jonesy knew, he was not going to try to come after her again. With his record and sentence, he would be incapable of battling for custody, if he DID ever try. The letters that he sent her from the inside were like the nail in the coffin. Nobody in their right mind would appoint any child to a man that said the things that he said in those letters. No jury in the world would decide that a home with her, even with her often questioned past, and Sam – freaking honorary dad of the year Evans was a worse place for anyone than with however the hell one could describe Finn. And Jonesy had honestly transitioned from being mad at him to feeling sorry for him.

She no longer wanted him to have power over her or the ability to frighten her with just a thought. Sometimes, there were relapses, but for the most part, she had no reason to latch on to all of the rage that what happened used to cause her. She still hated it, but she preferred to be a survivor instead of a victim. That wasn't to say that she thought she was better than anyone who held on to their rage. That was their right and she was the last person alive to ever try to judge any damn body. It was more like… it didn't work for her. For her, she just wanted to live life thinking about the good stuff and leaving the bad stuff beneath her feet.

_Jonesy still had her rough moments. The night before they went back to Kentucky for Thanksgiving at his parents' home, she had a severe crying spell. Sam simply held her and rocked her. "I'm not gonna ask you to talk about what's wrong," he told her._

"_I was watching Selena perform that performance, in the red glittery suit and she was singing Donna Summer, and they're both gone, now. And then, I for some reason was thinking about how Pimp C. raps about "One day you're here, and then you're gone," and he's gone, too. I got onto the internet and some way or another, ended up coming across this dark psychology of the Nickolodeon cartoon Rugrats and all of the babies are dead..."_

"_Jonesy..." He said, gently and rubbed her back._

"_I just want her to be okay. I've been having pains and even though the doctor keeps saying that everything's fine... I just want her to be okay, Sam."_

"_I know. I want her to be okay, too... and I'm sure that she will be. We stress your doctor the hell out on a daily basis. She'll do everything to make sure that our girl is safe and healthy." She sat up and stared at him and they offered each other smiles as he wiped her tears. "You need to get some sleep, since we're leaving early in the morning."_

"_I'll get some sleep when I stop hurting," she said, miserably. _

"_What hurts?" He wondered._

"_My lower back and right here," she held her hand over the bottom of her baby bump. "I can't think of anything that I might have done to cause myself any pain."_

"_I'm sure it's fine, Woman." He kissed her forehead and said, "I'm going to light some candles. That should help you sleep." And it did, after a long time of staring at the flame and wondering/worrying about everything that might be wrong.._

Sam helped Mary to clear the table after dinner while Stacey and Mercedes went for a short walk to "work off some of their food" to make room for dessert. Mary watched Sam as they washed the dishes. "I hate when you do that," he told her.

"When I look proudly at my boy?" she asked.

"When you stare at me wanting to say something, but hesitating. You know that I'm just gonna pressure you to tell me what's up," he said.

"You and Jonesy seem like you've gotten closer, now," she said, pleased.

"She IS my girlfriend, now. So, I guess you can say that we have gotten closer. We're best friends and we have a damaged friendship that we have been working very diligently on and we for whatever reason took on entering into a romantic relationship on top of everything else." he said.

"She has that glow, that sparkle in her eyes," Mary said.

"She's pregnant," Sam reminded his mother.

Mary rolled her eyes and put away a dish, "That has nothing to do with the way that she looks at you, Boy."

"Yes it does, Carmen even said..." He said and shut up.

"Carmen? Who is Carmen, some kind of expert or something?" Mary asked, sarcastically.

"Yeah, she's one of the doctors that we see. She explained that with Jonesy's sexual past and her hormones that she might sometimes see me as something other than the bestie, Sam..."

"Yeah, well - you ARE her boyfriend, too."

Sam nodded, "But what if I'm only her boyfriend because her hormones were a mess when she accepted me as her boyfriend? What if with all of the bodily changes and stuff she's been through, she mistakenly thought that she needed a lover, instead of just needing her best friend to be in her corner?"

"You were something other than that a long time ago. I thought therapy was gonna help you two to realize that," Mary complained.

"Therapy has helped both of us. But, I think that's why I feel like I do. I don't think that I should have pursued her while she's dealing with everything that she's dealing with. She's been depressed, stressed out, and everything else in between and above and beyond. It's like watching some kind of tragic natural disaster, but not being directly affected by it to just watch her. I think that I'm not really good for her in addition to everything else. I moved too fast and put unnecessary stress on her to love me back and to be with me. Now, she'll never back down from it. That's how her stubborn ass is," he said and handed his mother the last dish before kissing her on the cheek. "I'm content with having my best friend be a real best friend to me. Maybe love just isn't enough, sometimes."

"Sometimes, it isn't. But, I'm not gonna accept that about this thing. In a few more months, she's gonna become a mother. You're gonna be the closest thing to a dad that her daughter has. I can't honestly believe that you're gonna offer yourself in this way for the sake of your _friendship._ You're being there for her every step of the way because you are in love with her and you have been, forever... unless she was right about you..."

"Right about me, like how?" He wondered with a furrowed brow.

"When she was worried that if you knew the truth, that if you knew the real her that you wouldn't love her," Mary said, putting away the last dish and wiping her hands, before reaching into her little purse for a doobie.

"She wasn't right," he said. "She was exactly opposite. Us going through the therapy and the classes and the learning experiences that we have together in the past few months has made me love her more than ever before and the reason that I'm willing to do all of this for her and with her is because I honestly can't imagine my life without her, and it's unfair of you to even call that on me." Mary's eyes dampened. "You haven't been there this whole way. You haven't seen her go from devastated to excited to worrying herself to death with everything. You don't see what she's like after a long day of pretending that everything in her life is well out together and it's just me and the walls to witness her let it all go."

Sam sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter as he added, "And, like you said, in another four months, she's having a baby. It ain't mine and I told her to terminate it before it got to be an actual baby. The guy it's for is in prison, but he won't be there long and she might try to push this kid off as somebody else's but what if they don't buy it and she has to take a test and Finn fights her for the girl, just to spite her? We can fight him on it, but that'll be more stress, more shit in our relationship than all of this has already caused. And what if she has the baby and things turn out like I said - she hates it, resents it, resents herself for keeping it, resents me for not pressing her harder? There is a lot of shit that can still go wrong and even though I am in complete support of her and Babycakes and I would lay my life down for them... I still think that she probably made a mistake with not terminating the pregnancy."

Mary's eyes widened and she shook her head to clear her mind a little bit as she passed him her joint. Sam took a hit and asked, "How fucked up is that? A kid that I've already promised to protect and care for, I don't know if I believe that she should be here? When Jonesy was floating on air about it, when it was like the only thing that she had to look forward to, that was one thing – but now, she's so emotionally invested in the idea of this kid being her salvation from what happened between her and Finn that she's become obsessed with her safety and a healthy birth. Meanwhile, I actually a few times in the beginning, when we were planning everything and happily moving along… I in the back of my head hoped that she would just lose it. I'm… like the shittiest person alive."

"You aren't shitty, Samuel. You're nervous and you're worried. You love this baby already, but you love Jonesy more and you _know _her. This baby and who she might become and who she might be seen as by you and Mercedes is still an unknown. Sometimes the thoughts that go through our heads are really uncomfortable to us. But, that's how you know that you _aren't_ shitty. The fact that those kinds of thoughts bother you to even think 'em. But, do you think that it'll be easier for her to deal with now that she's grown so much in therapy and in life with you or how she was when she first realized? Sam… she's grown so much - you both have. I know that she still hurts. I know that she still cries. I know that there's still some hatred and anger inside of her for everything that's happened, but I also know that no matter what kind of shit we face, facing it with somebody that loves the hell out of us is always a much easier and more enjoyable journey. Stop beating yourself up, Baby and just love your girlfriend like you do and love her through whatever happens." She kissed him on the cheek.

"Hence why I'm here, with her..." he said.

"That's where the hell you belong, Sammy. I had you two married in my brain from the first time that I ever met her."

"Whoa! Married? Mom… can you let us at least have some time as what we are before getting into all of that?" Sam asked, laughing.

"Yeah, I guess that I have to, but I see it in your future. I'll never see you with anybody else, even if you two separated and never spoke again and you married the richest, most beautiful, most whatever other qualities person in the world."

"You tell her that?" He wondered.

"Yep. She just said, 'But, I _am _the most beautiful, most whatever except richest whatever in the world,' and I gave her an extra brownie, for confidence that I approve of."

It was cold outside and with Stevie bringing Sheila home with him for the holidays, the space was limited. He'd wanted to get a hotel room, but Mary had made such a fuss about him not wanting to spend all the time that he could in the house with the family that he buckled and settled for sharing a damned room with Sam and Jonesy, while Stacey enjoyed the privacy of her room. "Why don't you let me and Sheila in your room and you sleep in the room with Jonesy and Sam?" Stevie tried to pressure her.

"Because all of my stuff is in my room and I'm not gonna move it all out for you and her to do all kinds of freaky stuff in my bed!" Stacey argued. The two of them were always arguing. They had been arguing since Stacey learned to talk.

Mary often admitted, "It has to be hard for my Little Cappy to be surrounded by all these impulsive and reckless folks." Being heavily interested in the zodiac and signs, she had been following the behavior of her family members for years and when they brought home mates, told them things about their relationships and the possible outcomes. It was the most annoying thing in the world to Stevie, as he didn't believe or subscribe to any of that foolishness, but she simply went on with it, regardless, claiming, "Capricorn is a practical sign. Things like the zodiac will not appeal to him." But, according to Mary, the Lord was punishing her when he gave her a Capricorn middle child and a baby Aries. The two butted heads at every turn.

Stevie was closer to Sam than anyone else in the house, but wished sometimes that he wasn't, because he knew it prompted Mary to think that it was because Capricorn and Taurus were both Earth signs and whatever else she was thinking. He stopped arguing with Stacey the moment that he saw Mary peak around the corner. She stared at the both of them and he gave her a small smile as he moved his bags into the biggest of the bedrooms and set them next to the bed. Sheila and Mercedes were seated on his old bed and he asked, "Are you going to be in my bed or Sam's?"

Mercedes replied, "Sam and I usually take your old bed, because its bigger, but if you want it for you and Sheila, that's of course fine."

"Sam's old bed is more comfortable, because it hasn't been used nearly as much. We'll take it," he said.

Sheila rushed over to him and helped him out of his coat. Mercedes always felt odd when she was around the two of them. She introduced the two of them when Stevie came to visit a couple of months before. Sheila and Mercedes had gotten close through group therapy and she had invited her along to keep her company while Sam and Stevie did brotherly typed stuff. As it turned out, Stevie and Sheila hit it off well and he was extremely understanding about her undesired status of rape survivor. Sheila was the type who did not hold back that information in the beginning. She told Stevie when he asked her to exchange contact information with him and the two of them had been having a long distance attachment for two months.

Jonesy and Sheila looked A LOT alike, like - people literally mistook them for sisters. That fact made Mercedes want to go sideeye the hell out of her dad. But, aside from the women's resemblance, Jonesy could see that dominant/submissive lifestyle of theirs bleeding through. She wasn't sure if any of the other family members saw it (but guessed that they probably did and just didn't say anything about it). She knew that life. It wasn't for everyone. For her, it was addictive, but it did something unsettling to her on the inside. Knowing Sheila's history, and the fact that she introduced the two of them, Jonesy worried about the younger woman's welfare.

Sheila and Stevie seemed to have something else going on. It was really kind of beautiful and cozy. Though it would take her more time to get comfortable with it, she had no control over their dealings and according to Sheila, she went to visit Stevie every weekend in Lexington, as he was enrolled at the University of Kentucky. It was a shorter trip to see him than it was for Sam to see their parents, here. Sheila had even began being sexually involved with Stevie, as she confessed in a group therapy meeting, but not the details. She just said that she thought she was in love and that while she still had some trust issues with men as a whole, she felt as though she could trust him, completely. She spoke even more openly about it all one on one with Jonesy. She and Stevie were having hot sex, regularly.

Some part of Jonesy envied her for that. It took Sheila a month of daily talks with him and weekend trips before she felt secure enough to give herself to Stevie, completely. Jonesy wished that she had that kind of abandon with Sam. She KNEW that Sam would never try to hurt her, but forcing herself to allow that knowledge to let her guards down was so difficult! She wanted to have sex with Sam, because she thought it might help things to feel more natural, more normal, more real... but every time they got into it, he stopped her. She felt like maybe he could sense her nervousness, but as she told him, she would always be nervous, until they got it out of the way! It was scary to think about the emotions that might be triggered and the thoughts that might arise, but she was willing to do it to see how it affected things. Sam was not so ready for that.

She watched as Stevie stroked Sheila's cheeks and smiled down at her before kissing her on the forehead and telling her, "You need to take a nap before we do the family stuff." She smiled back and nodded her head.

The woman clapped her hands once and told Jonesy, "Well, you heard the boss. I need to get my beauty rest," she said and winked at her friend. Stevie gave Mercedes a small smile, then he watched Sheila change into her bathrobe. Mercedes saw Sheila reach for Stevie's belt and remove it. When he sat down and she removed his shoes too, she was pretty much done. _D/S relations... _Stevie climbed into the smaller of the two beds and reached for his girlfriend and she cuddled closely to him and held onto him for dear life.

"Guess you're gonna watch us sleep, now?" Stevie asked with a small, amused grin.

Jonesy scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully, "I was looking at you two, but my mind was someplace else. Do you need privacy, or are you _actually_ taking a nap, because my feet hurt and I'm not leaving this spot unless I have to."

"We are taking an actual nap," Stevie said and chuckled, pulling Sheila closer to himself. Jonesy nodded and reached for her makeup journal.

She and Sam had been in therapy together for three months, now and she and Unique had been working very hard to make sure that everything was set up properly for her hosting of her personal studio run of the show that she wished to bring to the national networking syndicate. They had taken a few trips to LA to meet the queen and others in the business and Unique was given a small budget to produce a local version of the show, which she would film in her personal studio in Ohio and air locally and online.

When Sam came into the bedroom to find her, she was seated up, leaned against the headboard, making notes in her journal. She looked up when she felt his shadow enter and gave him a smile, which he returned.

"We get the big bed, eh?" He asked. "Cool, though I have a feeling that it'll be like college and over the course of this next week, and they'll have the red ribbon tied on the door and make us share the couch. If that happens, I'll take the floor. No need to make you uncomfortable on that little couch." She smiled and sighed and glanced at the sleeping couple, holding each other tightly.

"They are moving along pretty quickly."

"You STILL don't sound so happy about it," he said.

"I worry about her. She's like a little sister to me, or at the very least a play cousin, and she's been through alot..." Mercedes commented.

"Well, hell - it's not like my brother is gonna jerk her around. Give him some credit. He can be selfish at times, but he isn't some threat. He loves her, which for him doesn't usually happen this fast. She's special to him. I'm happy for them."

"I am too, Sam," Mercedes said, a little bit annoyed.

"What's wrong, then?" He asked.

"Nothing. I guess that I'm just stressed out," she told him.

Sam took her journal away from her and said, "Then, no work. It's the Thanksgiving holidays, anyway."

"She was talking about taking some photos - us two couples. It'll look like two brothers dating some twins," Mercedes told Sam. She laughed and Sheila stirred, but Stevie pulled her in tighter to himself, feeling her move around. He woke up and stroked her hair, humming softly until she settled, then shut his eyes back. "That was cute," Mercedes whispered, then started crying. Sam bit his lip and reached for her hand. She took his and they left the couple to continue their nap in peace. She wiped her face and he put an arm around her and walked her into the living room where Mary and Dwight were settled in front of the fireplace on a bearskin rug.

"Make room, Old Folks," Sam said and he and Mercedes settled themselves next to them. Mercedes was breathing hard from getting down there and already regretted this decision, until Sam placed her head on his shoulder. About two hours passed before they got up and Mercedes felt like she had been beaten with a damned stick. Sam helped her to the couch, then went into the kitchen with his father. The men were cooking tonight.

"Should I go get Stevie?" Sam asked.

"Stevie doesn't cook. He'd probably just be in the way. Anyhow, I think that he might need some alone time with his new young lady friend as much as I need some with you," Dwight said.

"Me? Why do you need alone time with me?" Sam wondered.

"Mare told me about your talk. I thought maybe you could use your Old Man's input, and even if not – it'll be there, in your options."

"Okay. We got a lot of stuff to cook, so… Start whenever you're ready," Sam said.

Jonesy's phone rang while she and Mary were sitting together in the living room and she answered it, because it was her mom. "Hey, Mom."

"Mercedes, I was online, looking for unique gift ideas for Christmas and I came across these _darling _handmade plaques that are usually interwoven with florals. It looks kind of like a crossbreed of a plaque and a mum. I can't even express to you how precious it will be in my granddaughter's nursery. Where are we on naming her, because I don't know if I want to grace such an expensive gift with _Princess Babycakes_?" Jonesy was sure that was the first time she heard her mother call the baby that and she said it with such disdain that Jonesy almost laughed.

"Well, I hadn't yet, but I still have time," she told her mother. The woman sighed and Jonesy put her on speaker. "I'm putting you on speaker, Mom."

"Wow. Great. Are you alone?" She asked.

"Mare is here," Jonesy said and as Stacey came into the room, "And Stacey just came in. The guys are in the kitchen and Sheila's taking a nap. You want to help me brainstorm on a name, because I honestly have given it a lot of thought and I keep disregarding every idea that I've had."

"What ideas have you had?" Maryvonne wondered.

"Not even important. We can start from scratch," Jonesy said.

Stevie woke up to see Sheila watching him sleep, wrapped up in his arms. "I kept trying to get up and you kept holding on tighter to me," she said. "Decided to just look at you for a while. You do some funny stuff in your sleep. You'll make these faces, like you're reacting to something that someone said, and you say things sometimes. Like, today you said, 'I'm not touching that thing!' And I asked you what thing, but you were still asleep, so… what thing?" She laughed.

"Dad, Sam and I were hunting and Sam shot something. I don't even know what it was. It was like no animal that I've ever seen in real life and Sam says, 'Help me get it to the truck,' thus, my response was born," Stevie answered.

"I need to brush my teeth," she said.

"Me too," he said.

After they finished with that, she gave him a kiss and told him, "I got you something!" Sheila headed back into the room and started digging through her bag for a small box. "Thanksgiving makes me grateful for the good things that I have. A year ago, I didn't think that I could ever be grateful for anything. But now, you're here, and I'm thankful for that; for you, Stevie. This is just a little something to say thank you for being a good thing for me."

Stevie opened the box to see a platinum pocket watch. He made a whistling whew as she smiled self-consciously and explained, "I was gonna get you a fancy wrist watch, because I know that you like nice things, even though you can't afford them, right now. I wanted you to have something nice and being the sophisticated and debonair Sir that you are, that you might better enjoy a pocket watch. Plus, I figured this gives me a great excuse to ensure that you own at least one fine suit, in which I know that my hunky boo is gonna look amazing. She chuckled, cleared her throat and asked, "Do you like it?"

He looked up at her with a glimmer in his eyes and said, "I love it, Honeybee. Thank you." He hugged her and kissed her and asked, "Where did you get it?"

"I custom ordered it online from some watch company that had pretty good reviews. I couldn't find one that really seemed like you, so I helped to design this one and I had it engraved."

Stevie read: **For the man I will always have time for. May he always have it for me. **"Baby…"Stevie said as he grabbed her hand and kissed it, lovingly. "You didn't have to get me a thank you gift. I'm thankful for you, too. I am a very fortunate man with a very wonderful woman." He stared at the watch, dangling it in front of his own face, "I've never been given anything this nice, before. My parents could never afford expensive things. They could barely afford to live. That was why I had to get scholarships and why I am so afraid of not being good enough to get any to get into medical school." He shook his head. "Not gonna think about that, right now." He put his watch away and set it aside, "Not when I have to thank you for my gift…" He pressed himself against her, kissing her as she leaned back until he was on top of her, reaching for her clothes. _Happy __Thanksgiving…_

Jonesy said, "I want something artsy and spiritual… graceful and elegant."

"Some kind of flower, maybe?" Mary asked.

"Jasmine fits that description, perfectly," Maryvonne said through the speaker phone. "The name means 'God's gift'. White jasmine represents amiability and modesty. Yellow jasmine represents grace and elegance. It's obviously perfect for your needs and now I want them used for her plaque."

"I don't know, Mom. _God's gift, _though? That sounds like I'm trying to be some kind of pro-life warrior and making a statement through my daughter's name," Jonesy said.

"What's wrong with pro-life?" Maryvonne asked. "I know that you believe in it, because this situation is proof."

"I believed that I should keep this baby, because I have always wanted one. I don't want to disrespect other survivors that decide against continuing their pregnancies."

"That has nothing to do with your walk in survival, Mercedes. You can name your daughter whatever you want and that name fits what you said that you wanted. Besides that, how many people do you think readily know the meaning of the name Jasmine and moreover, who on Earth will even know about your history, Jazz's conception and the journey? Unless you go around making announcements, Jazz is as good as Sam Evans'."

"Well, it is a pretty name," Jonesy said. "And it does fit. I would like her to have my initials. I want her first name to start with an M, like me and you, Mom. I'd prefer "M.E.R," but I can't think of any "M.E.R" names. I could settle for an "M.A.R." name, in homage to you and Mare. Any ideas? I could use Jasmine as a middle name, since Mom's already sold it to herself."

"She already has a nickname," Maryvonne said.

Stacey offered, "I can look up names that start with "M.E.R." online."

Mary gasped, startling Stacey and Jonesy and said, "You could name her Mercury!"

At the same time, the other three spoke –

Jonesy: The god?/ Maryvonne: The planet?/ Stacey: The element?

Then, Maryvonne asked, "Are you high, Mary Evans?"

"Yes, but that don't change the facts, Maryvonne Jones. Mercury fun facts: I know that you probably had no idea that not only was this baby conceived within Mercury's rule, but your daughter's zodiac ruled by Mercury. Mercury – a planet of open mindedness, new ideas and intelligence. Mercury gives way to lovely things like versatility, friendship, perceptiveness, communication – all things that Jonesy has and all things that I hope that she passes on to her daughter. It's an element. It's a planet. It's a god…"

"Hmph," Maryvonne mumbled to that.

"It's powerful and yet, not power hungry. And Mercury is androgynous, so even though we call Mercury a 'he,' let's not forget that he's changeable. He is what he has to be for the moment. Sometimes, as parents, we want our kids to be all the things that we're not. But then again, sometimes, we want them to be everything that we are!"

They heard Maryvonne smack her teeth, then she suggested, "Why don't you go have another hit from the bong, Evans? Mercedes, what other name choices do you have?"

Mary frowned and lowered her head. Jonesy patted her on the arm and whispered, "That was beautiful, Mare. I really like it, but let's just see what Stacey's come across online."

"A lot of the Mer names have to do with water," Stacey said. "But, there are some that don't." Mercedes looked over her shoulder at names, while Mary stepped out to go smoke.

"Oh, look – a few mean Emerald! That's my birthstone," Jonesy said, "Oh, but it wouldn't be hers."

"Wouldn't it be the conception stone, or whatever?" Stacey asked. "I think I just made that up. What I meant is that she was conceived under the same planet or whatever, like Mama said…"

"Oh, yeah, but the birthstones are month to month. She was conceived in June…"

"Glory, be! Have you found any name that you like yet?" Maryvonne asked. "For God's sakes, Mercedes. Your entire life, you have been so indecisive!"

"It's important to make the right choices. You always got on my case for being impulsive," Jonesy reminded her.

"You are, which is the reason that I suppose you even entertained the idea of naming your daughter after a Roman god!" Maryvonne said.

"He rules my zodiac," Jonesy said, trying to keep herself from laughing at her mother's agitation. Stacey couldn't help but to let hers out. Jonesy spoke over her laughter, saying, "Oh, look, Mom – I see my name's on this list! Oh my God. I had no idea that there were this many variations of my name. And my name means "mercy, grace, ransom and wage." Awww.. I'm like a gift or a payment or something."

"My payment for a series of bad decisions," Maryvonne commented.

"That's the Thanksgiving spirit, Mom! Why are you even on the phone with me? Shouldn't you be preparing for dinner? Oooh – There's a Mercuria! It's the feminine version of Mercury. Is that better?"

After some time, Mary's return, and going down different names on the list, they heard Sheila and Stevie in the other room, loudly making sex noises. "And he wonders why I didn't want them in my room!" Stacey complained, with a grimace on her face.

Mary shook her head and said, "He and Sam were always bad about controlling themselves when they got a girl alone, even in the house and even if we were home! Stevie moreso than Sammy, though. Used to be a time when Stevie's girlfriends used to try to sneak around with him. Now, I gotta remind myself that he's an adult."

"He's still in your house," Maryvonne said.

"Yeah, but this is a house of sex-loving foundations," Mary said. She poked Jonesy in the cheek and asked, "Are you blushing?"

"Listen to her, in there! I'm embarrassed to be witnessing this. I don't know how I would feel about a guy's folks hearing me do that, especially, like Mom said, in your house." She laughed at the sounds that Sheila was starting to make. Sounded like she was close to the finish line.

Maryvonne commented, "I seem to remember catching you in my house with Shane Tinsley."

"You and Dad were out of town! I thought I had more time to get my business," Jonesy said.

Mary waved a hand, "Stevie's almost 20. It's not a big deal anymore. Now, when he was 14 and I could hear those girls panting and him shushing them…"

"Hell no," Maryvonne declared. "In fact, the _one _time that I did catch Mercedes in the act, I rose hell and all its demons. I saw to it that that boy felt threatened to even breathe the same air as my daughter, and that was before I was mean."

Jonesy called bull. "Um, Mom – you asked me if I wasn't satisfied having been knocked up at 16 and went on to say, 'Still spreading those thick thighs for these snot nosed brats!"

"I remember the details, Mercedes. Have you decided on a name?" Maryvonne sounded exhausted, now. They had been talking a while. She was doing better, but she still had her condition affecting her. Jonesy wanted her to get some rest.

"I actually really like Mercury, Mom." Maryvonne groaned. "It has nice symbolism! I need Babycakes' life to have meaning, starting with her name and so forth."

"Sure," Maryvonne said. "I'll order it to say 'Babycakes,' just in case you change your mind on this Mercury thing. I have to go. I have to cook, or your aunts will go on an all day crusade about how I think I'm too good to go into the kitchen."

"Our family is very critical," Jonesy observed.

"It's full of women. I'll tell your aunts that you said hi."

"Have a good Thanksgiving, Mom."

"Yes," she said and hung up.

"Was she mad?" Stacey asked.

"No… That's actually her polite side."


	22. Chapter 22

_I don't mean to spend so much time on this Thanksgiving holidays portion, but a lot happens here, so, I hope you can enjoy._

_I have to dedicate this chapter to my fanfiction babymama, Zeejack, because this story has been almost as much her baby as it has been mine and a recent PM I got from her inspired the end of this particular chapter. Love you so much, Girl!_

**Don't Make Me Over 22**

"Why don't you tell me why it is that you seem to think that your relationship with Mercedes isn't real?" Dwight asked, setting out a few necessities for the cooking session. Sam chuckled a little bit. As a child, he always loved watching his father in the kitchen. He was like a way cooler version of one of those cooking programs on television. He set everything out, announced what everything was and gave instructional steps the entire time. It was great to watch him do this smoothly, still makes jokes and even kiss on Mary or toss one of his kiddos into the air. He even sometimes let them add in the next ingredient. Cooking with Dad was a fun time. Sam wasn't sure if he wanted to ruin that special part of his life with this kind of talk.

When Sam didn't reply, Dwight sighed, sympathetically and said, "Why don't you melt the butter in the big saucepan for me. I'll pass you along the stuff to add into it." Sam complied. He felt kind of like little boy again. Sometimes, he wish that life was as simple as it had been as a child. He couldn't imagine what was going through his dad's head as he looked at him that way, but soon enough, he would probably have similar looks. In a short period of time, he was going to sort of be a dad, himself. And… it sometimes felt kinda fucked up. "You need to add in your onion juice, the garlic juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, black pepper, red pepper, and Daddy's all-time favorite…"

"Double Bastard Ale," Sam said.

"Double. Bastard. Ale." Dwight finished his own sentence, for extra measure. "While you blend that up real good, I'll work on some other thins myself. Still waiting on the answer to that question, Sammy."

Sam sighed and shook his head, "I _don't _think that my relationship with Jonesy isn't real. Trust me, it's the realest thing that either of us has ever had with anybody else. I just have some doubts about some aspects of it. I know she loves me. I know she wants me happy. I know that she would never do anything to hurt me. I just don't know if she was ready to commit to something so grave with everything else that she has going on in life. She has a very promising career and even branching out into avenues that she didn't even realize that she had a knack for. She's patching things up with her parents and its going surprisingly well considering all of the horror stories that we've heard (which I know were all true) about Ryvie over the years.."

"She has a baby on the way, and the baby isn't yours," Dwight added to the list.

"That," Sam said. "It's not even so much the fact that the baby isn't mine. Had she gotten pregnant when she was with Anthony and we were right here, right now – it'd be different. The baby is part of a bigger picture of pain for her. I mean, now that we all know the truth about the baby, does that not show anybody that she could possibly be in a position in which her thought processing might be a bit…" Sam shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to suggest anything negative about his lady, especially with such sensitive subject matter.

"Doubt is not something that any of us can easily avoid. Happens to even the confident guys. And self-doubt is gonna hit you more than you'll care to admit, as a man with a family to protect. When Mary and I first started seeing each other, I liked her a lot, grew to care about her and wanted to protect her, if I could help it. It's natural. But my need to protect amplified when you came along. Nobody better hadn't done shit to hurt, threaten, or even upset Mary as long as she was toting you in her bundle baker…" Sam laughed at the term that he had never ever heard before and was going to have to remember, for laughs. "And after I got to know you, to watch you grow and become a little personality, look out anybody that so much as sent you a rough glance! Don't even get me started on how it was once I got married! Good Lord! You think that you feel it now, you just wait, Son."

"I figured it gets worse. Babycakes ain't even here, yet… and I don't want to think about marriage, at all, anyway. Dad – I never really thought that I'd even be a good dad. I mean, I'm not like you, and you're ya know – the model that I have of what a dad should be. I have never really seen it in myself, and have always kinda been of this belief that I know that I'll be a good man to the woman I love, and if I am gonna be a dad, I'll just have to learn it, in time, and for love – I'd be willing to do it." He laughed at himself. "It sounds pathetic when I say it out loud. You didn't raise me to be a coward. I'm sorry."

"Who said anything about a coward?" Dwight asked, handing Sam an injector and a large, plastic oven bag. "Make sure that you inject every piece of the turkey. Last year, Stevie tried to stuff the turkey. Stuff it! We don't stuff fryin' turkeys, just so you know, and nobody said anything about a coward. If you feel that way about yourself, only you can change it. But, I happen to think that a 29 year old man who decides he's gonna be with a woman who's fixing to have somebody else's baby and be in it with her all the way is far from a coward. Many might say he's a fool, but whoever calls him a coward is just an asshole."

"You think I'm a fool?" Sam asked.

"I said many might say it. I was called everything in the family of dumb fucks when I was gonna help Mary out with a little ginger babe that they thought wasn't mine. I know how people can be. They didn't know (and I wasn't really thinking about it), that my granddaddy was born with the reddest hair in all of Tennessee and my dad himself even grew out a red beard, whenever he did grow it out. Mama wasn't big on "the tickles," as she called it, so he really didn't grow it out much, unless he was in the doghouse or they were having one of those moments where the water got turned off until they could scrape up the cash. That little ginger babe was an Evans, through and through – but I didn't know it yet and I didn't give a damn. Kid looked like he could pass for mine, maybe. Maybe I wanted to see that, I thought. Maybe I wanted Mary so bad that I didn't mind being a fool, being a hero to her and to this flame headed infant that drooled and pooped all over everything."

"You make me sound it sound so glamorous," Sam said, chuckling.

"Hey! I'm the one that kept you from having marijuana related defects, Son. Hero life ain't supposed to be glamorous. When you start building a family, it's natural to feel pressured to be a superhero, and it's also very natural to doubt yourself. I'm only a man," Dwight said. "And that's harder than it seems when you're a _good _man. A _good _man is like a unicorn…." They were temporarily distracted by some yelling and became silent for a moment. Sam's heart sped up when he thought that maybe something was wrong with Jonesy, but he soon heard her laughter from the living room and realized that the screaming must have been Sheila. That damn Stevie.

"Dad – my problem is not that. I can be a superhero for her and for the baby. I just don't know that I'm what she truly wants. I. Should. Have. Waited. We were getting so close with everything that my passion took over and she had hurt me so many times in the past that this time, she just gave in. She had been through too much to be face with a decision like that. She already had to decide to press charges against someone that she thought was a friend, because he'd hurt her more than anyone ever had. She had already decided to have a baby that that person impregnated her with, despite the conflict in her heart and mind. She made that decision JUST IN CASE she couldn't live with her self for the alternative. She made the decision to try to mend bridges that had long since burned between herself and her parents. She made the decision to go to counseling to try to help herself… I saw an opening and I went in and she let me. I didn't let her recover." Sam's eyes were damp.

"Just how long do you think that it might have taken for that to happen?" Dwight wondered, accepting the marinated, injected, and wrapped up turkey to put it away to marinade overnight.

Sam sighed and took to the cutting board, as Dwight put the turkey away. "I don't know. But, I know that it hasn't happened yet and I can't helpo but wonder if I'm making it worse for her. She goes through crying spells. Sometimes, she looks like she's going to fall apart and I can't stop it. I feel partially responsible. I increase her anxiety."

"You also increase her happiness, Sam. You can't pull away from her and back down, now. Even if you think it'll help – it won't. She won't understand it and she'll definitely have increased anxiety. You should have been sure when you asked her, but if you aren't, you owe it to her to stick it out, at least until she and the baby are both secured. Then, if you still feel that, way, no kind of reason will be there to keep you from it. Truth is, some part of her probably _expects _you to take off, sooner or later. And usually, its better that a man does what he feels he has to do right away, but she is pregnant and already stressed out. If you leave her and something happens to her baby, she won't easily look at you again, much less call you a friend or loved one."

"I'm not going nowhere, Dad. I just can't help how I feel about this. When she cries like that and I can't help her to stop. When she shivers in the middle of the night and nothing can soothe her. When she wakes up in a deep sweat with fear in her eyes and embarrassment as soon as she realizes where she is… it just reminds me all over again that I had the chance to protect her. I had the chance to be there and prevent what happened, and I was too busy sulking to go and do it," Sam said.

"So, you remedy that by sulking some more?" Dwight asked. "Sam, I'm not telling you that you shouldn't be upset. You should feel pain as deep and even deeper, if she's in pain. If you love her, hell yeah, it'll hurt to watch her hurt, especially helplessly. We love to be able to fix stuff. We love to be able to control stuff. But, some stuff you can't. And believe me, much of the time; all that the woman that you love wants and needs from you is to just be sure about that love. You think that you're helpless, but that embrace that she's shaking inside of is the only thing keeping her from falling apart. You think you have no power, but your eyes looking into hers is precisely what helped her to realize that the nightmare was all just a bad dream and that she's safe now. I think that you're doing more than you're giving yourself credit for and I don't think you're giving her much credit, either."

"Why do you say that?" Sam wondered.

"If she wasn't ready when she said yes, after all that she's been through, she would've let you know it. Trust her with her feelings as much as you would want her to trust you with yours," Dwight said.

Stevie came into the kitchen and asked, "You need help with anything?"

Dwight teased, "Do you have the energy for that?" Stevie blushed, smirked and reached into his pocket. "You better wash your hands!" The younger man pulled out his pocket watch to show it off with a proud grin. "That's fancy and obviously expensive."

Sam looked up to see it glistening as Stevie waved the thing around. "Sheila settled out of court with three wealthy families to keep quiet about their son's crimes against her. She bought a couple of properties, which she rents out, she bought a little bit of stock, sold all of her stuff to start over and used the money from that to open an account to build interest at the bank."

"So, basically, your honey's got money," Dwight said.

"It's more than that Dad. Sheila's not some rich kid who doesn't care about the value of a dollar. She is charitable to her friends and family and stuff, but she's very responsible with her money. She works for a living. She does what she has to do, lives comfortably without being lavish…" Stevie was saying.

"So, a fancy gift like that is still a pretty big deal for her," Dwight said with a nod. "You seem excited about it, but you knew when she dropped her walls for you how deeply she feels about you and from what we heard, those walls are but vapors in the wind today."

"You're being safe, right?" Sam asked, thinking about Stevie's confession that he wanted kids and noticing Sheila's "babymaking hips" when he first saw her.

Dwight commented, "Of course he is, Sam. Stevie's the careful one."

Stevie put his watch away as the subject changed. It didn't escape Sam's notice that his brother didn't bother to answer for himself. "She's incredible, Dad. When we're together, she looks at me like she worships me. She gazes right at me, right into my eyes. When she whispers my name…"

"She _whispers?_" Sam now teased, "Is that before or after all of the screaming?"

Stevie laughed, "Look – we didn't get to be alone before we got here and between that and the gift she gave me, I had to!"

"We know how it is. There are no virgins here," Dwight said. "Except for Stacey, and she better stay that way until I die."

"Not gonna happen, Dad," Sam said. "Stacey's a hot girl under all of that nerdy shell and somebody's gonna see it."

"Dad's still holding a knife," Stevie said, with a laugh.

Mercedes knocked on the bedroom door, even though it was open and smiled at Sheila as she entered the room. There was incense lit and she was scrubbing the bed. "Sweat through the sheets?"

Sheila sighed and answered, "I squirted, big time. I don't even know how he does that to me. I didn't know that I could, but he's made me do it like crazy. Sorry about the sex smells. Hoepfully, the incense helps that out. Stevie got rid of the covers and went to take a shower. I'm on clean up duty. He's gonna help me flip the mattress, then I'm gonna get all this sweat, squirt and skeet off of me. I am a sloppy mess right now. Does Mrs. Evans think I'm a total skank?"

"No. Mary's a very sexual woman. I've never known her to do any slut shaming. I honestly don't even think that a word like "skank" is in her vocabulary."

"Well, I've heard from many mothers that things are quite different when they pertain to your kids. Soon, you'll be able to let me know firsthand."

"Yep," Mercedes said and rubbed her bump. Sheila stopped scrubbing and texted Stevie and it didn't take him long to return.

When he came in, he said, "Wash up quickly, Honeybee. I've got the mattress."

"Thank you," she said, kissed him on the cheek, grabbed a few bags and hit the bathroom.

Mercedes watched from the other bed as Stevie flipped the mattress then rested on the clean and dry side of it. He caught his breath and said, "Woo, wore myself out!"

"With the vigorous sexing," she commented, with a chuckle.

"Duty calls, Milady," he said.

"It's your duty to please that booty," she said.

"Amen," he said and laughed. "I can't help myself. We only see each other in person on the weekends. We're young. We're gorgeous. We're…"

"In love," she said, completing throwing him off of whatever it was he was going to say next.

Stevie gave her a small Evanesque smirk and mentioned, "And everyone says that _I'm _moving too fast."

"Am I wrong, though?" Jonesy asked him with a raised eyebrow.

She could tell from his face that he was annoyed and uncomfortable about her asking him about this, as he answered, "It's too soon to even determine that on both of our parts. I would never rush the important stuff. These things can't be determined in a brief period of time, Jones. Sheila is a big girl. You can stop worrying. She can take care of herself and I would never hurt her."

"Maybe not on purpose, Stevie. You have to know the gravity of this relationship. She is a rape survivor with trust issues and attachment problems. As her boyfriend, youhave to understand how delicate she may be and…"

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with my understanding, Mercedes. I don't appreciate you coming at me like I'm some unruly young man whose intentions you have to evaluate before I'm _allowed _to take further steps with her. Sheila belongs to me, via her choice and your invalid concerns are becoming less valuable to my interests the more that you try to step in. All I have ever done is be supportive to you and to Sam about your relationship with each other. Pay me the same respect, or at least shut up, if you can't."

"Stevie – chill out. I wasn't trying to be nosy. I just think that maybe you don't realize how Sheila feels about you."

"Sheila tells me everything!" he snapped at her. "We're not like you and Sammy."

"What do you mean by _that_?" She asked, with flared nostrils.

"I mean that you could afford to focus more on the two of you than on the two of us," he said and got up off of the bed. "Sam and you are having a shit-storm of problems that are honestly none of my business. How about you try to sort those out before taking on the task of helping out other people, who never asked you for any help?" He left the room and she bit her lip, focusing her attention on not crying. The crying was the part of the pregnancy that she hated the most. She knew that if she started, Sam would be miserable and give her those sad eyes… She grabbed her purse and journal and took off. Maybe a walk might help her cool off.

Sheila came into the living room, where Stacey, Stevie and Mary were and immediately was uncomfortable. "Where's Jonesy?" She asked, then shook her head and said, "I'm sorry. Hi, everyone. I'm sorry about the noise earlier." Mary waved a hand at her and Sheila could tell that the woman was high. Stacey looked a little high too, but that didn't stop her from staring at Sheila with daggers for eyes. "Is Jonesy in the kitchen?" Sheila asked Stevie.

He frowned, still raw about the exchange he had with Jonesy. "Last I saw her, she was in the bedroom. She didn't come through here, unless we missed her," he said. Sheila looked at the front door, she would have had to pass by to get to it, though she could have gotten out unnoticed if she was purposefully sneaking out. She looked at the kitchen door. "She might have gone out of the back door, to the convent or something."

Sheila nodded and said, "I'll go check." Suddenly, she felt this worry in the pit of her stomach. She had no idea why, but for some reason, it seemed like something was terribly wrong, here.

"Stop looking at her like that," she heard Stevie hiss at Stacey.

She continued out of the back door and went into the yard calling Jonesy. She went to the garden and covered her nose. The smell of marijuana always gave her a headache if she smelled it too long. She went towards the herbs and the vegetables, looking around for a friend who was not appearing, then out into the front yard, where Jonesy was not on the porch or down the road, as far as she could see. Sheila felt panicked as she pulled out her phone and called Jonesy. "You've reached Jonesy! I wish I had something clever to insert here. With all my wit and charm, you would think that I could conjure something up. But all I have is this lame 'Leave a message and I'll get back to you' bit." She sighed and there was a beep.

"Jonesy, it's Sheila. I'm looking for you around the house, but I don't see you. I know that I know Stevie, but I kinda would feel more comfortable if you were here too, with the Evanses, especially after my brilliant performance, earlier. Call me back, please?" She went back into the house through the front door and asked Stevie, "Has she come through?"

"No," he said. "I'm sure she's around somewhere and she's probably fine. Jonesy's a tough girl."

"What does being tough have to do with anything?" Sheila asked, confused. "Wait, did something happen?" She asked.

Stevie took a deep breath and admitted, "We exchanged some words."

"What do you mean exchanged some words?" Stacey now asked, rewarding her Stevie's middle finger.

Sheila shook her head and went into the room to grab her purse, before storming out of the front door, ignoring Stevie as he called out to her. As she left out of the front door, ready to jump into her car, she felt Stevie's hand grab her arm and she twirled around, ready to strike him. Instead, she jerked her arm away and he put up both hands in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean to grab you. Where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm gonna drive around and see if I see Jonesy," she said. "If you two exchanged words, she might have gotten upset and I don't want her out there, upset alone."

"Did you ask Sammy if he knew anything?" Stevie asked.

"No…" She said and sighed.

"You two are adorable, the way that you look out for each other, but I promise, Baby… Jonesy is fine. She goes for walks alone all of the time when she's out here. She probably even went to the bookstore a couple of blocks away. She likes to do that," Stevie said. "Just, chill out. Come back in."

Sheila came back inside with him and made a beeline for the kitchen. "Hey, Sam… Have you seen or talked to Jonesy?" She asked.

"Yeah, she went to the bookstore. She just needed some quiet time alone," he said with a soft smile. "Everything alright?" He wondered.

"No, yeah. I just wasn't aware. Um.. It smells really good in here. Can hardly wait for tomorrow," she said.

"Oh, not just tomorrow, Hun," Dwight said. We've prepped some of tomorrow's eats, but tonight, you're gonna be amazed by the things I intend to do to those taste buds."

"Well, I look forward to tonight, too, then," she said with a smile and left the kitchen, almost bumping into Stevie.

"Told you," he said.

She nodded, "I know. Sorry, I freaked out. She's sort of like a safety net for me, here." Stevie winced when she said that, but it was understandable. She had known Jonesy a little longer than she had known him. "I mean, I trust you and I feel my safest with you, it's just that this is your family and you've got this bond with them that I'm not really a part of. It's a little more comfortable to have another outsider around." He took her hand and kissed the back of it and led her back into the living room.

The book store visit helped a little bit, but by the time she came back to the house, carrying a couple of new book bags, with more than few new books in them, she remembered why she needed that walk. This stuff with her and Sam… It was taxing. All that she seemed to be able to think about was the fact that she and Sam were not doing as well as she imagined that they would, if they ever got together. And, this time, she honestly didn't feel like it was her fault.

She was romantic. She was honest, as open as she could be, and focused upon his wants and needs. She looked up gift ideas and nice gestures online and mapped out different "just because" times to spring these things upon him. She kept her vocalizations positive and encouraged him to do all the things that she believed would make him happy. She just didn't know how to ease this tension between them and she felt like even though it wasn't her fault, that it probably was.

Maybe it was too late for her A game. Maybe Sam was seeing something in her that she didn't even detect that was causing him to be adverse to her. Maybe he didn't want to become a basketcase for having ever dealt with her. She couldn't say for sure what the problem was, but now that Stevie had voiced his notice of it, she couldn't pretend anymore. Maybe that was it! Maybe Sam knew that she was pretending and he didn't like it. She had to, though. She couldn't mope around all of the time, and she didn't have the energy to hold up her act once everyone else was gone. She wished there was a pill for this. Take this simple little pill and you won't remember a thing. _God, isn't real life depressing?_

"There she is!" Stacey cheered when she came inside of the house.

Everyone was in the living room. Music was playing. They all had mugs. They all were staring. What the hell are they staring for? She tried to think of a greeting, but instead, could only drudge up a smile, which she gave, then rushed to the bedroom. For some reason, she felt this overwhelming pressure to say or do something for them, but she couldn't formulate in her mind exactly what. She tossed the bags next to the bed and lied down on it. Within moments, Sam was there.

She bit her lip, not really wanting to face him and unsure of exactly why not. "Mercedes," he said and shut the door behind him. He sat on his old bed, across the way from her and looked at her. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know," she said. She sat up, so that they both had their legs over the sides of the beds they sat on, and were facing each other. "I have no idea what's wrong, Sam. I am out of possibilities. I've been doing everything that I can to make good on my part in this relationship and it doesn't seem to mean anything. I couldn't tell you what's wrong, because if I knew, I would be working on it… trying to fix it. So, maybe you know something that I don't, Sam. Maybe _you _can tell _me _what's wrong."

Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's nothing. I was having some worries about some things, but Mom and Dad have both talked to me about it and reassured me. You don't have to worry about me acting the way that I have been lately again. I know what I need to do."

"What's that?" She asked.

"I need to trust in your feelings," he said. "I was worrying that maybe this relationship is taking too much out of you and that you probably needed more time to recover. I didn't know how to feel about how often you've been crying and having nightmares and panic attacks. I didn't know how to feel about how I can never seem to help things. And, now I know. I just need to trust you." Sam cupped her face and said, "I want so badly to protect you that when I feel like I'm not doing it right, it hurts my pride and breaks my heart, at the same time."

"You've done everything right, Sam," she said. "The last time this happened to me, I cried most of my waking moments of the day. I always had headaches, because I wouldn't stop crying until I passed out from exhaust every other night. I can't recover any quicker for you or control how I handle my coping, most of the time. But, please believe me when I say that I've never felt so protected." Tears began to well up, and she blinked them away and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. "God, Sam – I was so scared. I thought that you had given up on me, or that you had decided that you really don't want to have to deal with my situation."

"No. Of course not," he said.

"Whenever I'm upset and crying and doubtful, she's our baby, but on a regular day to day basis, she's my baby. I thought that maybe that was finally settling into your brain and that you couldn't do it anymore."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, leaning back to look at her.

She wiped her eyes, "Sometimes, you call Babycakes ours… but its only ever when I'm freaking the fuck out and you're trying to console me. All the other times, you call her mine, or just "THE baby." I know you don't mean it maliciously. I just also realize that it's probably your subconscious speaking, always in the background, reminding you… 'This is not your child.' I thought that it was starting to take its toll."

"I… I mean, technically, she _isn't. _ You didn't even talk to me about naming her, which I'm told that you did today?" He said, defensively. He seriously didn't want to discuss the baby. Things might come up, like the truth and that would hurt her in a way that he might not be able to heal her from. "Like always planned, I'm gonna take care of her and you. There are plenty of adopted kids who are loved by their adopted parents as their own."

"I know. I'm just telling you what I thought might be happening! I was just guessing at things, Sam," she said. "And, I _have _talked to you about naming her! You never offered any input. You never gave a suggestion. You never even told me of a name that you liked or thought was pretty. You USUALLY shrink away from these things. You deal with my _pregnancy_ head on and full throttle, and I honestly appreciate it. But, then you deal with my _baby_ like she's some separate part of the puzzle that you haven't figured out the spot for yet. She's the ONLY area in which you are apathetic about things."

"Apathetic?" He repeated, drawing back and turning red. "I am apathetic? That's why I insisted on us moving, so that her nursery could be dark past free? That's why I installed that huge snake cage, but then had to take it down and reinstall it in the new place? That's why I've made her blocks? That's why I've put together her crib and her stroller and been helping you to fix her nursery? That's why I've been working on the first present that I'll ever give her? I have done everything that I can think of to be there for her, in advance, no matter how I feel about her presence!" He exploded.

"No matter how I feel about her presence," she repeated, her voice now empty of most emotion. "There it is. There's the confession that I knew was in there somewhere. Yes, you did all of those things. But, not because you care about her and not because you even want her around, but because I needed them done. And… I've been alright with that. I wouldn't _expect _you to be able to actually love her. But, don't attack me for mentioning it. Don't get defensive about being apathetic about someone whose presence you obviously don't appreciate."

"I didn't mean it like that, Jonesy. Baby, I _swear _that came out wrong," he said, shaking his head. "Look, can we just not get into this? I don't want to stress you out and put her at risk and I really don't want to endanger your progress."

"I haven't made any progress, Sam," she said, shaking her head. "Maybe I talk more about my shit. Maybe I think more about how I should be… but nothing's changed. I feel the same way that I always have about myself and about what happened. This baby has been the only kind of peace that I've had, besides you, and I can't ever tell how you feel about anything."

"I love you. I feel like I put myself through _a lot _in order for you to know that and I'm so confused as to why you can't get it into your brain!"

"You're right. You do put yourself through a lot. I tried to tell you that you didn't deserve what you were signing up for. You wouldn't listen." She refused to cry. This felt like one of those goodbye moments. If it was, she wasn't gonna be crying until she was out of sight. She was gonna wear her shine like it was fancy makeup. "Look… I don't want to burden you any further. It's taking a lot out of me and it certainly is having effects on you…"

"What are you saying?" Sam asked, paling in color as he came over to sit next to her on the bed, looking at her intently with panicked green eyes.

"It is not your life mission to be my prop, Sam! Nor my crutch!" She covered her face and slid away from him, "I'm sorry. I don't know what is happening to me, but I feel like I'm whining and I feel like I am making things bad between us."

"You aren't. You're making things bad for yourself, because you're reverting and you don't have to." He reached out and touched her face and she leaned into his hand. "Don't pull away. I know that I said some things that hurt, but we're not going to make each other happy every step of the way. Sometimes, we'll hurt each other. Sometimes, we'll say things, do things that feel pretty shitty to both of us. But, we love each other. You _do _love me right?"

She shut her eyes tightly and nodded, with a painful look. "I do, but… I need you to be straight with me, like you expect me to be with you. You…" she sighed, "You don't want her, not really. You're willing to tough it out and suffer through it, but you really wish that she wasn't coming." Her voice cracked when she said it.

He pulled out his phone and said, "I was gonna show you this on Christmas. I was gonna show you how far it's come along, but I need you to see this, okay? Yes, I have some doubts, about all kinds of stuff – you can't say that you don't. You can't even honestly say that you don't have doubts about the baby, yourself! But, I promise you, I love you both. Look…" She took his phone and stared at the photos, confused. "It's a storybook. I'm making it out of cardboard and wood and doing all of the artwork and the writing, myself."

"It's… so beautiful," she said, with a sniffle, going through the photos.

"It's a fairytale about a beautiful maiden who gets attacked by an evil sorcerer and cursed by his wicked spell. She flees her kingdom with a peasant stranger and a tiny bit of hope in her belly and falls in love…" Jonesy cried. _Fucking hormones!_

"It's an autobiographical fairytale about us and our journey," he said. She cried on as he said, "It's kind of a way of me journaling. I paraphrase the ugliest parts, make them sound more fairy tale-like… even though fairy tales can be pretty hardcore. It has some hardcore fairy tale moments, but that's how our fairy tale is. And our happily ever after includes the birth of a princess. OUR princess." He covered her hands with his and collected her, seeing her about to break into a flurry of tears. "We'll make it work. We'll make it all work. For us and for her, Baby. I'm sorry if I've been aloof about her, and I'll be mindful not to call her 'your baby.' I don't care how she was made, she's _ours, _Mercedes. She's _our _baby." She sobbed into his shirt, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from her heart.

Had this been bothering her, all along? That was possibility. But, she wasn't going to dwell on it. When you live life one day at a time, you can't stop to dwell on what was wrong. It was much more precious to dwell on what was right. And. This. Was.

This love that she had for Sam, the love that he had for her – that upon which she could depend, even when the recovery process was slow or in remission.

"Turducken, Cornish hens, baked rooster, grilled chicken… I think it's safe to say that the Evans either really love or really hate birds," Sheila said, helping Mary to sit the meats on the table.

Mary laughed and said, "Let's not forget the Cajun deep fried turkey that Dwight's working on. Those three fellows that we've snagged can really eat! Plus, it's usually one of very few times that we get the whole gang together, so Dwight and I try to go all out."

Mercedes and Stacey came out of the kitchen – Stacey with a large pot of mashed potatoes and Mercedes with a tray of gravy boats. "I'm almost mad how many different gravies there are for this meal," she said, as she set the things down. "Because I know that Sam is probably gonna have more than half of all these gravy flavors, by himself."

Sheila smirked as she and Mary went back into the kitchen and Mary said, "You can grab the kale, I'll get the macaroni and cheese…" When Stacey and Mercedes came in, "Mercy, get the salad dressings. Stacey – the salad." They followed the instructions, setting things where Mary asked them to. "Stacey, get the yams. Sheila, if you will please, Ma'am – the dressing out of the oven." The two disappeared and Mercedes had a seat. Mary said, "Haven't overdone it, have you?"

"Nope. Sitting down before I do," Jonesy answered.

"Well, you look like you're feeling much better, so that's one of the things I'm most thankful for today." Mary went into the kitchen as Stacey was coming out.

"Hey, can you bring me a glass of that sparkling grape juice when you come back, Stace?" Mercedes asked.

"Sure thing, Sis," Stacey said and rushed back into the kitchen as Sheila came out with the dressing.

"Jonesy, do you eat with them every Thanksgiving?" She asked.

"For the last four years," she said. "It's ALWAYS this big. They get to spend most of the budget on meats, because Mary's garden produces all the, you know, produce. So, they end up having a Hogwarts feast for Thanksgiving, and then they do something more homie for Christmas – like homemade chili and freshly baked flatbread or a few huge pots of gumbo. They usually serve cocoa, roast nuts over the fireplace, hot egg nog, hot cider; we make smores, grill some kabobs. They can't really do TWO huge feasts in a row, but this year, we're all taking Christmas to my mom's…" Stacey came back in with the glass of sparkling grape juice. "Thank you, Babay!"

Stacey glanced at Sheila, brushed her hair behind her ear with one hand and returned to the kitchen. "I don't think she cares for me," Sheila said.

"She didn't care for me when I first showed up, either. You think she's standoffish now? You should have seen her as a suspicious 10 year old. She's the baby girl – the ONLY girl, which makes her spoil enough, as is, but then you add in that her brothers are paying you maybe a bit more attention than her?" Jonesy took a sip of her drink. "Sit down with me."

"No, Girl. I gotta get back to work. I'm still trying to suck up for that audio sex show I put on yesterday," Sheila said.

"If it makes you feel better, Stevie's moans were nearly as loud as yours," Jonesy said.

"It doesn't!" Sheila said, with a laugh, going into the kitchen, again.

Sheila came into the kitchen and asked, "What's my next task, Boss?" She saw Mary putting something into the oven and Stacey getting dishes.

"Help Stacey bring those dishes to the table, and you ladies can relax for a bit. I've got more dessert to work on."

"I've got the dishes," Stacey said, struggling to carry all of them out. Sheila simply rushed to hold the door for her, then went to sit with Jonesy as Stacey set the dishes down. She went back into the kitchen without a "thank you" or even an acknowledgment towards Sheila.

Sheila waved both hands and shook her head as she sat down, "Fuck it, Man. She's a rude little shit, is what she is. I think it's you that she's jealous over."

"I haven't been able to hang out with her quite as much this visit, but that's because I haven't felt well all week, not because of you. Hell, you've been all up under Stevie this whole time."

"I'm not about to kiss no 16 year old ass, I can tell you that much. I'm just here on a four day stint. Stevie and I only got here Tuesday and we're leaving tomorrow," Sheila said. She waved another hand towards the kitchen, "I don't care. She and Stevie are forever arguing, anyway. When are you and Sam heading home?"

"Sunday afternoon. Gonna have a little post -Thanksgiving dinner with my folks, then I'm gonna fall into a deep, coma-like sleep. Unique's not opening the studio again until Wednesday, but Sam has to work early Monday morning. Poor thing. I know he'll still be food hungover and we usually take food back with us. The four hours or so that we have to drive, it's usually still good by the time we reach the house. Wonder if Mom's gonna try to give us food, too. Last year, I think we had leftovers all week… just from food that we brought back with us from here."

"Remarkable," Sheila said. "So, Christmas at your mom's? Am I invited?" Sheila wondered.

"Of course! You're still gonna be Stevie's girl by then, huh?" Jonesy asked.

Sheila chuckled and shrugged her shoulders, "You never know. But, even if I'm not, invite me, because your mom looks like she can probably arrange a lovely Christmass dinner, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air style."

"She does, Girl! She gets it catered. She doesn't have time to do all that cooking that Mary does. She has selections of all kinds of meats, sides, deserts, and she gives anybody that shows up a present. She always, ALWAYS starts a Soul Train line. If my mom has a party and a Soul Train line doesn't start, it's a robot, hit it in the head – it's an imposter!" Sheila and Jonesy were laughing when Dwight came in bearing the beautiful fried turkey to set on the table. "Woot woot! Turkey time!" Jonesy cheered.

"Woot woot, not yet!" Dwight said. Sam and Stevie both started laughing.

"So, you're just gonna laugh at how I just got shut down?" Jonesy observed and nodded, "Okay. But see what happens if y'all leave me and Babycakes alone with this turkey, though."

Stevie leaned over to hug Sheila from behind and kiss her on the cheek. "Mmmm… you smell like cologne, outdoorsy musk and bold herbs. You smell delicious, Sir." Jonesy could have sworn that she saw Stevie's hips reflexively buck at that.

He squeezed Sheila and whispered, "You're gonna get punished later for being a naughty lil' tease." She fought a smile and folded her hands in front of her on the table, innocently.

Sam stood with his arms folded and Jonesy reached up to rub them. He smiled down at her and asked, "You alright, today, Babe?"

"Yeah. Today is a really good feeling day, and I'm thankful for it."

"What in the hell is Zydeco?" Sheila asked. The music sounded festive, but she couldn't understand a word that the guy was saying and watching Mary and Dwight dance along to it was entrancing, but confusing, too. Of course, that could have been that beer that Dwight had given her, affecting her.

"It's a music style and dance style out of Louisiana, spread out around the South. Dad used to work at a Blues Bar where they played a lot of it," Sam answered her, then started making loud, high pitched noises with his mouth. Sheila's eyes widened. Stevie looked slightly embarrassed as he playfully elbowed her and offered her a drink of his water. She nodded and accepted, but she wanted to learn it.

"Teach me how to Zydeco!" She said, jumping up and going to the center of the living room. Dwight took her hands to face her, a certain way, and he and Mary started showing her the current dance. She was a quick learner. Jonesy wasn't feeling up to it, but enjoying watching them and glad to see Sheila flowing into the groove of the family. Stacey had on her cowgirl hat and boots as she partnered up with Sheila, instead.

After that, they were two-stepping to some country music, then twerking to some hip hop. Jonesy was practically rolling on the floor laughing at Mary's twerk face. That woman was all business, despite the fact that her twerking skills left much to be desired, Sheila was impressed at her energy and willingness to try. Now, Stacey, on the other hand! That chubby girl was nearly down to the floor and Sheila caught an eye full of big bouncing booty when she looked over, "OOOOHHHH! Don't hurt nobody, Stacey!" Sheila cheered, drawing the attention of all three Evans men to the baby Evans.

"Nope!" Dwight called out as Sam made the timeout gesture and Stevie switched the music. Sheila stopped dancing and frowned. "I oughtta ground you! Who taught you that?" Dwight teased as Sam laughed. Dwight pointed, "Oh, you laugh now. Just wait until your daughter's shaking her stuff. Jonesy, be sure to capture it on camera."

"Sure thing!" Jonesy said, laughing.

"There will be no shaking of stuff involving my daughter!" Sam insisted, waving his beer around in opposition, "None, whatsoever! My daughter isn't gonna leave the house. We're homeschooling!"

"No… no, we're not!" Jonesy said, giggling. "And you aren't putting thorns in front of windows or barring her in."

"That's what you think. I'm never letting her go through what you did," Sam slurred. Jonesy jumped and the room froze. Sam took a sip of his beer, then looked at everyone else, puzzled.

"What did she go through, Sammy?" Stacey asked with an uncomfortable chuckle. Stevie wiped his face once, with one hand and took Sam's beer from him. Sam's lip dropped.. delayed reaction. He only just realized what he had just said.

Jonesy got up to leave the room and Sheila followed. "I'm gonna…"

Stevie nodded his head and handed the beer to Stacey, "Pour that out, please?"

Stacey snatched it and repeated, "Why do I feel like everybody left me outta something?"

"Because, we did," Stevie said. "And now, you need to go on and pour that out."

"So you can get me out the room?" She rolled her eyes, tossed her hat onto the table and stormed into the kitchen.

"Been a while since you drank?" Stevie asked Sam.

Sam bit his lip and nodded, "I stopped because of Jonesy's condition. She can't, so I usually don't. I feel horrible right now. I can't believe that I just said that."

"You weren't being malicious," Dwight said, slurring himself as he turned off the music.

Mary said, "I'll go see about her, too."

Sam covered his face, "We _just _made up. We _JUST _sorted through our recent shit. I…" he shook his head and folded his arms, "I just can't do anything right. All I do is make her life harder. She was gonna break up with me yesterday. I heard the words on the tip of her tongue. I practically begged her not to do it." Stevie and Dwight sat on either side of him. "She doesn't embarrass easily, but when she does embarrass, she's faint-due-to-shame embarrassed." Stacey came back in, looked around and headed out, probably going to the ladies. "Stacey! Stacey!" Sam called, "See if she wants to see me!"

But, Jonesy was already back in the living room. "Jonesy, Baby… I am so sorry that I said that."

"Why? I don't want anything like that to happen to her, either," she said, calmly. Stevie and Dwight got up to give them some privacy and she came to sit with Sam. "One of my biggest fears is that she'll ever have to tell me that someone hurt her." She blinked some tears. I just needed a little bit of air after that declaration." She reached out and touched his hair, then he shifted to lay his head on her lap.

"I couldn't protect you. I will never forgive myself for that, Jones. But, if I can't protect her… If I fail her like I failed you… I'll just die. The pain would kill me," he sobbed onto her lap. Jonesy stroked his hair and scratched his back. Sam hadn't let her comfort him in a long time, probably because of that guilt.

"You do know that I don't blame you any more than I blame myself – and I KNOW now that it wasn't my fault. It wasn't either of our faults. Wanna hear a song?" He sniffled and nodded his head, reminding her of a little boy. "Ok. I have a song for you. It's a song that tells you exactly how I feel about you." He was nervously shaking his leg, but he paused when she began singing a Celine Dion song to him, "A mountain of stone, a door of steel, can't stand in my way. I'd go on. Brutal machines, unbending laws, can't slow me down, I go on…"

Sam was silent and seemed at peace as he confessed, "I have wanted you to feel that way about me for a long time."

"Well, I do," she told him.

"Please don't ever stop?" He asked.

"I doubt that I will, Sammy Boy," she said and caressed his face. Within moments, he felt to sleep. "Correction, I know that I never will."

_**Celine Dion Lyrics: I Don't Know**_

_A mountain of stone, a door of steel__  
__Can't stand in my way, I'd go on__  
__Brutal machines, unbending laws__  
__Can't slow me down, I'd go on__  
__I've learned how to deal and when to fight__  
__I know what's real, I know what's right__  
__I'm not afraid, a wounded dove__  
__I can be tender in a world so tough__I'm sure I could face the bitter cold__  
__But life without you, I don't know__The winds of the heart can blow me down__  
__But I get right up and I stand my ground__  
__I've tasted fear, my share of pain__  
__The wasted tears of love in vain__  
__I've held you tight, pushed you away__  
__Now with all my might I beg you to stay__I'm sure I could face the bitter cold__  
__But life without you, I don't know__I know what I want, I know what I need__  
__But there's just one thing I must believe__  
__Deep in the night by a dying flame__  
__You will be there when I call your name__I'm sure I could face the bitter cold__  
__But life without you, I don't know_

I don't know


	23. Chapter 23

**Don't Make Me Over 23**

_Why am I always watching some depressing stuff? _Jonesy sniffled as Stacey yawned and complained, "I have no idea how you watch these movies! They're so SLOW and BORING!"

"These movies are classics. I grew up watching these," Jonesy said. Sam was asleep on the floor.

"The first one started out okay, then there was a lot of unnecessary. The effects were okay, for how old it freakin' was. The second one – I don't even know how I remained awake for any of it. It was godawful and the best thing about this one so far is the old lady calling chocolate mousse 'chocolate mouse.'"

"Um, the first one, _The Exorcist_ is one of the scariest movies ever made, the second one _The Omen_, is one of my personal favorites, even though it's so depressing, and for some reason, every time I watch that, I have to watch _Rosemary's Baby_, too. You know, on The Omen remake, this chick that plays Rosemary played Mrs. Baylock, the nanny."

"I'm here for old lady chocolate mouse and old lady chocolate mouse, only. I'm glad that I didn't let you talk me into The Omen marathon. I don't know if I could've handled more of those bore fests."

"These are my dramas, Stacey. Let me live," Jonesy said, taking a sip of juice.

"Dramas?" Stacey repeated, laughing. "Um, aren't they supposed to be horrors?"

"Yeah, but I grew up on horror. They don't frighten me. They actually are pretty sad when you think about the parts that aren't demonic."

"I am so confused," Stacey said.

"The Exorcist – this woman is seeing her kid change into something hideous and unpredictable. Her heart is hurt and she's frightened. She doesn't know what will happen to her daughter. The daughter is somewhere in that body, a young girl, afraid for her life, maybe even fearful for her soul. She's alone and can't get her mom's comfort. Her mom can't reach inside and communicate with her. There is this darkness keeping them apart and shielding them from each other, even though they love each other. That to me is the most frightening thing about it. Not the pea soup vomit. Not taunting the priests. Not even spinning the head around. The thought of being trapped inside of your body while something else has control of you. You don't know what you'll do, who you'll hurt. I feel bad for that little girl and for her mom who has to watch."

"I think that you should make a show where you critique movies."

"No. It'd be too depressing," Jonesy said.

"If you had been doing commentary while I was watching it, maybe it would have put an interesting spin on it," Stacey laughed, loudly, waking Sam. "The damn demon was my favorite character. So sad that he had to go. He was so much more badass than that Damien bastard, who only hit his mom's stool with his tric and gave the camera a cutesy I guess creepy smile at the end. Other than that – he did nothing to solidify his claim to the throne of the house of Satan."

"What're y'all talkin' 'bout?" Sam asked groggily, sitting up.

"Demon kids in the movies," Mercedes said, then quickly asked Stacey, "What did you want him to do – run around killing folk with his 5 year old bare hands? I don't even know that they would've been able to do that in the 70s. It probably would've gotten banned. You don't sign Gregory Peck onto a movie and get it banned."

"Who the hell is Gregory Peck?" Stacey asked.

"Classic actor. Played Atticus Finch in the movie To Kill a Mockingbird," Jonesy answered.

"I had to watch that in school. THAT'S depressing. God, that black dude's acting had me in tears," Stacey said.

"Yeah, but in the remake of The Omen, they go for a more actively evil Damien, and to be honest, to me, that cheapened who he was supposed to be. It's the Antichrist. You're not supposed to see him coming. He's supposed to trick you, fool you, bamboozle you… The original – WHO would ever suspect that angel face boy to be the personification of evil?"

"Well then, you should hate Rosemary's Baby, when they suggest the kid looks like a baby demon," Sam said.

"Sam! You just ruined the ending!" Jonesy fussed.

"Oh, no he didn't – this movie was ruined from the start," Stacey complained, chuckling. Sam squeezed between them. "She can be such a weirdo. These movies _depress _her, because of the content. They depress me, because I feel like I've taken pills to add some extra BORE to my life!"

"Her rants about them are interesting, though, no?" Sam asked.

"Yeah – and she should've done 'em as commentary. She would've made the demon-free parts of The Exorcist bearable," Stacey said. "What about Damien – his story depress you?"

"Of course!" Jonesy explained, "Here we have this guy who loves his wife and he can't tell her what might be very heartbreaking news to her – that she lost her baby. That time in age, something like that was way more alarming than it is now, and there are still a significant amount of women who would be upset to learn that their baby didn't make it through the labor process. So, he thinks he's done well to adopt this baby and raise him as their own. Years later, this woman starts going through it, all behind her son. She's afraid of him and doesn't know why and it's so bad to the point that when she does become pregnant, with a baby of her own (not knowing this one isn't hers), she doesn't even want another child. I wonder what it must feel like to think that a child is yours, but feel like he isn't and to not want him because he frightens you. To see him look at you when you've fallen and hurt yourself…" She teared up, "She had such a tragic story. But the dad, being in the loop the whole time, having to see what this boy was doing to his wife, and then finding out that their real kid was murdered, in the first place… God, it's heartbreaking."

"She's serious," Stacey said.

"Yeah, she is," Sam said, rubbing Jonesy's thigh to comfort her. "You don't need to get into Rosemary's Baby."

"But, I feel like I can't stop her, now. Now, I must know how she views Rosemary's Baby," Stacey said with a chuckle.

Jonesy didn't miss a beat, "Rosemary was in love with her husband and he made a deal with the Devil for her to be ritualistically raped in front of a freaky group of devil worshipping strangers who then had her go through a pregnancy from Hell, literally, as they stalked her, manipulated her, and ushered in the Prince of Darkness through her body, without her approval."

"Man… should you even be watching this stuff at a time like this?" Stacey wondered. "I'd be having nightmares about having a Satan spawn baby… I might STILL have nightmares about it."

"Not about these bore-fest movies," Jonesy teased.

Stacey laughed and said, "You made them scary with your depressing take on things."

"Well, then you don't need me to get into movies that actually scare me and my take on them."

"No, I don't. I'm going to sleep in the room with y'all tonight, in the free bed since Stevie left," Stacey said. "And, I'm officially never having any kids. I was gonna say not getting married, since these guys on these movies keep bringing their wives demon offspring, but Reagan's mom was single, huh? So, no marriage and no kids – no Satan spawn."

"But, what if when you were a baby, some Satanists did a ritual for you to be the chosen one for whom Satan plants seed, like in_ End of Days_?"

"The hell are you, a demon movie database?" Stacey asked, shivering.

"When my mom and I started having problems, she would insinuate that I was possessed, so I watched a butt-ton of satanic movies in order to freak her out and because they were illegal in our house," Jonesy explained. "Demon movies dominated my entire adolescence… and Children of the Corn movies that I continued to watch, even though they just got progressively worse every time. I was ESPECIALLY dissatisfied when the movies got away from the original premise – the adults are evil and the children have to kill them."

"She is a MOVIE database, to be honest," Sam said. "She watches mostly horror…"

"False," Jonesy said.

"She watches mostly sci fi and fantasy AND a shitload of horror, but she'll also watch classics and stuff because it was thought to be controversial. She'll watch old horror movies, musicals and suspense stories, but not old comedies, unless they're on some kind of list or happen to come on while she's lazy." Jonesy started laughing, as Sam went on, "She'll watch some comedies, if she knows the actors. She'll watch any action movies, especially with a lot of violence and/or effects. She watches all the comic book adaptations, and she'll even watch all of the remakes, but she refuses to see any of those in the theatres."

"And I guess that drama and romantic comedies are…?" Stacey started.

"That bullshit," Sam and Mercedes said in unison, then laughed a little.

Jonesy explained, "Romantic comedies can pretty much eat my entire ass out except for The Sweetest Thing, because that's my damn movie and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days – I fucks with that, too. And I'm not here for drama unless I see Denzel or Don Cheadle or somebody in the preview. Real life is depressing enough without additional drama. Movies are supposed to be an escape."

"We need to escape to the bedroom. Tomorrow is a long day. Gotta drive, then hang out with your mom."

"Both very exhausting things, I know. But, I'm not driving, so I'll sleep on the way home and be refreshed by the time we get to my mom."

"Rude. I want my cuddles," Sam said and poked his bottom lip out.

"You do realize that your mouth is extremely large and that face makes it even bigger?" Jonesy said.

"Does it make you want to give me my cuddles?" Sam asked. She laughed and turned the movie off.

"I'm seriously sleeping in the room with y'all!" Stacey said, following them out of the living room. "Devils and demons and Satan."

"Oh, my!" Sam said as they headed for the bedroom.

Sam was asleep again quickly and Stacey and Mercedes finally just talked, as Sam rested his head on her skin like a cuddly human pillow…

"I don't know what to say," Stacey said.

"You don't have to say anything. I just didn't know how I would handle it if I saw you hurting when I told you. It was for my sake, for me not to have more stress. It had nothing to do with not trusting you or anything like that."

"I'm so glad that guys that I like never like me back. I had the hugest crush on Finn, for like… years. And, if I hadn't known about him hitting you, I might still have a crush on him, if I saw him. But to know this… Jonesy… Shit. You're so brave."

"I'm really not," Jonesy said. "Anything that you've seen since then has taken a shitload of effort and assistance."

"But, you were brave enough to do it. I don't know. Oh my God. I hate him. He's worse than one of those movie dudes. He was supposed to be your friend… Sam's friend… Sam lived with his family in high school, for a while. I feel like I'm gonna be sick. He gave me piggy back rides and let me beat on his drums, even though I couldn't play."

"I decided that I'm gonna tell everyone at the beginning of the year. After they've had a chance to party in the new year right. I still have no idea how I'll say it. Finn and I had the same friends and many of the same loved ones. I just don't want to lie or to keep secrets any longer. It's a burden and I need to get it out of me."

"That might be good for you and Sammy."

"It might be hard for everyone else, though," Jonesy said.

"You didn't put them in that position. You shouldn't have to hide something that makes you uncomfortable. Now, if it's more comfortable to keep it from them, that's one thing… Jonesy… Thank you for telling me. I know that it couldn't be easy, since you watched me grow up."

"All I know is, nobody better never try to do something to you. But, if somebody ever does – it doesn't have to even be anything this serious or damaging… If _anybody _does _anything _that hurts you or makes you feel bad, you can come to me. Sometimes, we revert into ourselves, thinking nobody will understand or they not care or might not believe us. Trust me, you have in me somebody that will always care, I'll always believe you, I will always understand and I would never, ever judge you." Jonesy reached over for Stacey's hand and Stacey reached out and took it. They held onto each other's hands in the darkness of the candlelit bedroom.

"Jonesy… that goes both ways, okay?" Stacey asked, gaining her a nod from the woman.

Stacey missed everybody already. Now that it was her and her parents again, she even missed Stevie. She sighed, "Stevie and that girl seem awfully close, really quickly," she said to her mother as they were folding the clothes.

"Yeah, they're moving pretty fast. But, I'm sure you know that Dwight and I have had a little talk with the two about it all."

"Oh yeah? What'd they say?" Stacey wondered.

"The usual – we're young, but we aren't gonna do anything stupid spiel. Moreso, Stevie was talking and she kinda kept looking to him to see if it was okay for her to speak. Weird stuff that made me a tad bit uncomfortable," Mary said.

"You like her?" Stacey asked, setting another article of folded laundry in Dwight's pile.

"She's nice. Seems crazy about him. She's got another year or so of school. She's interested in opening some kind of home for the battered or something. I forget what she's going to school for, though."

"I think she said she's a business major – like everybody else, and she's clingy. She's like creepy clingy. You and me both know that ain't gonna fly with Stevie. He's a selfish jerkwad that adores his space."

"Yes, but he's also a narcissistic, and be it passive aggressive, an attention whore, _especially _if he's the only one getting the attention. Stevie's eating this up and I'm relatively sure that a time or two he gathered up her attention, just so it could be on him – he didn't even have anything of substance to share. He just wanted her to pay attention to him. They're… still both new to whatever it is that they have, so I'm trying not to judge too harshly. Besides, Pisces women are very good for Capricorn men."

"How do you remember all of that stuff?" Stacey asked.

"The same way that you remember what happened in which episode of Game of Thrones and American Horror Story," Mary answered, with a wink.

"Not the same thing, at all, but I appreciate how invested in my life you are to know what I love. People at school – their parents have no idea what goes on with them. Like when Jonesy was young." Stacey frowned and shook her head, "Whether we like to admit it or not, relationships with parents has a big part in the decisions we make. That's why even though Stevie is the one that y'all give the most credit to, he's the one that I trust the least with the smart stuff."

"Why?"

"He's always been so secretive and secluded. His people skills are not that great. He handles his so called friends like they're a necessary evil in some type of business or experiment and you've already said it yourself – the situation with old girl is questionable. I mean, I guess she's okay, but I just don't trust girls with my brothers. We all already know that Sam and Stevie both make very bad choices for booty purposes."

"Oh, Stace – don't be so harsh. Stevie is honestly very safe and very careful. He hasn't made a single mistake in the romance field since that mess with Kitty, and Sam is with Jonesy now, so we don't ever have to worry about him again," Mary said, separating a couple of shirts.

"Yeah, Sam's with Jonesy and Stevie's found some random girl who looks like Jonesy, most likely in an effort to try to have something like what Sam and Jonesy have, but instead – he's a douchebag that has sex with a stranger in your house for everyone to hear on holiday, she's clingy and if I'm being honest, seems like a doormat, and if things don't work out, she might boil a bunny."

"Stacey!"

"Stevie might be careful, but when he gets lonely and he gets in a funk, he gets sloppy and that's what happened and that chick is who he happened to intersect with in that period. I actually feel bad for her."

"She is a friend of Jonesy's."

"So is that Santana witch that Sam was with. So was Finn! Let's not pretend that because we love Jonesy that means that she has great taste in people or that her friends are people that we want brought home with our loved ones…"

Mary began piling foled clothes onto her arm as she said, "Santana and Sam were young when they dated. She was still figuring some things out about herself and he did get hurt in the process, but the two of them are great friends, now, still. She's changed and grown up and I don't even think that she and Jonesy knew each other back then."

"They were my age, Mom. I know better than to treat people like that. The point was that Sam is a proven jerk dater and even though Stevie doesn't allow us to see the people that he sees socially, I know that he has the potential to be just as much of a jerk dater until I see conclusive evidence that indicates that he isn't."

"I hear ya, Stace. I do. Mama knows. I just ask that you try to give her a chance. She's had a rough time."

"K, Mom," Stacey said, as she grabbed her stack of clothes and left the room.

Those additional days off were lazy as hell for Jonesy, but happy. When Sam got home in the afternoons, she had lunches planned – they talked, ate, kissed, cuddled; she begged to see the book and he refused to show it to her until Christmas. She could hardly wait to see what he had in store for her little girl… For _their _little girl. "Handcrafted with love," she said, tracing her fingers over his hands as they sat on the porch.

"Mmm hmm," he answered, snuggling deeper into her soft flesh. "It's real – what we have. Sometimes it feels like it's not enough. Sometimes, it feels like it's too much. But, despite our doubts and despite our fears, it's real."

"Of course, Sillyhead," she said and kissed his hand.

"Are you married to Mercury? Because I don't know how I like the idea of Babycakes asking us how she got her name and our response being, from your stoned Meemaw and her love for astrology," Sam said.

"Not gonna add that part when I tell her!" Jonesy said. "I actually am pretty crazy about the name. It's unique. You know anybody, male or female with that name? I don't. And, I've doodled it in fancy script in my sketch journal. It's pretty. You don't like it? You get to say that your mom named her!"

"But, I didn't help, though."

"Yeah, but we've been calling her the nickname that you gave her for months, now."

"Is that how its gonna be with us?" he teased. "I'm good for nicknames but not what comes on the paperwork?"

"You still have yet to make a name suggestion."

"I kinda like Johanna, Joni… I like Jonesy, as a real first name, too. And since she's gonna have a different last name…"

"She is?" She asked. "What last name is she gonna have?"

"Ev-ans?" He answered, eyeballing her incredulously.

"Maybe Jones-Evans. I'm not keeping my name from my baby. Jonesy Jones-Evans. Sounds like some record producer," Mercedes said.

"I like record producers. And if she's named Jonesy, you can drop the Jones dash, and just let her first name be part of your name."

"Johanna is pretty. Johanna Jasmine Jones-Evans. Mercury Johanna Jones-Evans. Jasmine Johanna Jones-Evans, Mercury Johanna Jasmine Jones-Evans…" Jonesy was spouting off, as she continued stroking her man's big, strong hands. He snuggled his face into her skin and kissed her neck. "I'm not trying to discard Mom's 'Jasmine' and I honestly do like Mercury, but I want to be sure to include what you want too. But, I don't want her name to be a rant. And, I did want her to have MJ initials, too."

"M.J._E,_" Sam shamelessly reminded her.

"M.J.E," she corrected. "And, I wanted her name to start with M.E.R, too. Got any Mer-names?"

"No. To be honest, I hadn't thought _too_ hard on the names, I just wanted to be included. So, for all future children, don't you dare start naming without me."

"Yes, Sir!" She said with a playful salute.

"AND, if you can through Johanna in there, can I call her Hancock?"

"What? Why?"

"Because JoHANna, HANcock?" Sam looked at her puzzled face. "You want I should draw you a diagram?" He asked, with a fake Italian accent.

"I want you should stop being silly!" She said laughing.

"No, you don't."

"You're right. I don't. I love silly you."

"Better love all o' me," he said.

"I love all o' you," she corrected and laughed. "Oh, what about Miracle? That's a pretty girl's name," she said suddenly.

Sam burst out laughing and asked, "We spelling Miracle with Mer, now? It's a Meracle!" He teased as she couldn't help but laugh. He went in to his Charles Barkley impression, ranting, "In all of the turrible things we got in Amurica, we now have this Meracle coming along!" Mercedes laughed until she had to rush herself to the bathroom and Sam followed her, waiting outside of the door. She came out and jumped, startled. "I like Mercury. I just need to be included, for stuff like that, you know? You didn't even realize that I want her to have my last name. Something's wrong with that picture."

"We weren't doing a whole lot of talking about her, Sam. But, it's good, now. We've addressed it and we now both know what we need to do moving forward. Because Princess Babycakes Mercury Johanna Jasmine Jones-Evans has a lot in her future and we need to make sure we have a good path set forth for her." Sam's eyes widened at the long-winded name that Mercedes had spilled out in her statement and shook his head. "Of course not all of that, but doesn't M Tripple J Evans sound like a phat 80's rapper? I'm gonna go write it down in the baby journal to see how I really feel about it."

"M. Tripple J. Evans?" Sam repeated.

"When you say it all slow like that, of course it sounds wack. Shut up!" She said and swatted his arm, earning her a tug in and a kiss to the side of the head. "Mercury Johanna Jasmine Jones Evans."

"No. Leave it off," Sam said.

"No! You really liked it. I'm just trying to figure out how she'll sign her paperwork? Mercury Evans? Mercury J. Evans? MJ. Jasmine Jones-Evans… I like that one…" Sam shook his head and smirked. "I was expecting like a dozen musician names and no less than twenty comic book character names from you."

"Which, you would have, had I gotten the time to think on these things. I was more focused on other stuff. Her foundation, home life, the present, her mom…" He smiled and inhaled her, "You smell good."

"Stop seducing me!" She snapped, playfully.

"Nope…" He gathered her up and she let out a high pitch squeal as he did. It always amazed her that he could so easily pick her up, but she especially liked it now that she was pregnant and full of hormones. "Somebody's gonna get ate up, today!" He said, carting her to the bedroom.

"I volunteer!" She cheered, with a laugh, but froze when she felt his lips on her ear…

Kurt rubbed his head and looked over at Blaine, still asleep. He climbed out of bed, snatching his eye mask off as his feet slid into his cushiony slippers. _Damn Finn! _He was getting in the way of well-needed holiday beauty rest.

_Kurt tried to avoid even going to see his parents for Thanksgiving to not have to hear the crap, but how could he simply not show up to see the man who was in open support of him through his stressful harsh years as a gay teenager? Burt and he were a team and he couldn't dodge Thanksgiving because of Carol. Carol was great… but she did love her son and she couldn't understand why Kurt would, "Continue to fraternize with that girl after she sabotaged Finn's life?" _

"_Carol… she didn't do anything to Finn… HE attacked two different women, one of them, on SEVERAL occasions. What was she supposed to do? Just let it continue?"_

"_She could have tried to get him some help. She came to my house, helped clean up, smiled in my face, all the while, she was ruining my only child," she said._

"_Wait… are you talking about Mercedes?" Kurt asked._

"_Of course. Rachel is as much a victim as Finn was and if she thinks that I'm letting her just take my grandchild away from him, she's got another thing coming!" Carol snapped._

_Kurt and Blaine looked at each other, panicked, as Burt said, "Hey, hey… we've discussed this. There's nothing to indicate that she's pregnant with Finn's kid. She was sleeping with a lot of different people and to be honest, it would be best for everyone if we just let her take it and stay out of Finn's life."_

"_That's not Finn's baby," Kurt said. "It couldn't be. Mercedes would have told me and it would have had to happen during the time that they were kept apart by that restraining order."_

"_It happened the night that she provoked him, then called the police on him!" Carol said._

"_The night that he broke her door down in a drunken rage and beat the hell out of her, I think you mean," Kurt corrected._

"_You just don't understand," Carol said._

"_You're right. I don't understand how you can try to justify what Finn did," Kurt said._

"_Finn needed some help. Did she tell you that she used to make him slap her in the face and choke her during sex. He did it because he loved her and that was what she wanted. She messed up his mind, Kurt. She shattered his heart. She broke his spirit. And she's even destroyed his body, now! Thanks to that woman, Finn doesn't have anything anymore. I'm not going to let her take his child from him, too."_

"_It's HER child, and you have no say in it!" Kurt snapped._

"_Kurt," Blaine said. Burt said it a little more aggressively._

"_What?" Kurt snapped, looking back and forth between both of them. "No court anywhere is going to hand a damn baby over to a man who assaulted two women, regularly abused one of them and suffered the psychological damage that he's sure to be exhibiting in prison during the aftermath of his attack. Even if that baby WAS Finn's; no jury in Lima, Ohio is going to give her to Finn."_

_Burt said, "It isn't even going to come to that. If the two of them can't sort out their differences, we aren't going to get involved with that, Carol. Finn can pursue this thing, if he wants, but he can't afford a lawyer and we really can't, either, for that matter. But, do you know who can? Dr. and Mrs. Jones. When Finn gets out, who knows how his record will affect his ability to find work? He might have to work at the garage, which we all know isn't the greatest job ever. Sure, he might be able to get back on his feet in time, but how long would that take? He's most likely going to be in there for a few more years, even with good behavior. Then, add on the year or two it might take for him to get on his feet and be able to sustain himself, much more a child… What kind of horror would that be to put your possible grandchild through in order to spite a woman that things went wrong with for him?"_

"_That sentencing is not going to hold up. Finn has impeccable behavior and he's been brutally attacked. He'll get sympathy and be out on good behavior by next year…"_

"_His behavior wasn't impeccable when he sent Mercedes threatening letters…"_

"_I don't believe that. I think that he simply tried to reach out to her, in his low times, to make peace and she complained to make him look bad," Carol said. Kurt just grimaced at her with a glare. She was irritation at its finest. It didn't take much longer before he and Blaine "still had to swing by Blaine's parents' place." Kurt decided that Christmas at the Hudson-Hummel home was not in the cards for him, this year._

Kurt looked in the mirror. He barely got any sleep. Jonesy had been unwell, lately… He didn't know how to tell her that his stepmother was probably going to try to bring her through an ugly custody battle… for that matter, he didn't know how to breach the subject of confirming that Babycakes was Finn's. His mind couldn't wrap around that. She didn't owe him any kind of explanation, but he felt like he was about to possibly be caught up in a horrible shit-storm, and he preferred to know the particulars about it. The thing that kept nagging at him was Carol saying that she got pregnant that night. _That night? _

_He had seen Jonesy afterwards_… Kurt began to wash his face. _Jonesy was a mess. She couldn't function. She wasn't well. _He rinsed his face and proceeded with his extensive skin care regimen. _It was possible that he reached out to somebody, anybody, SAM, especially at a time like that – wounded and vulnerable and got herself knocked up. That was what he believed. That was what he thought… _Kurt brushed his teeth, staring at himself, with the mask on his face as he tried to make sense of his troubled mind. _There was no way that Jonesy would've had sex with Finn that night. No way… No.. way… _Kurt spit into the sink and practically shouted, "No way!" _There WAS a way that Jonesy could've gotten pregnant that night, but if Kurt could even begin to believe it, there was no way in hell he could ever look at Finn the same way again._

Kurt loaded his SUV with the equipment that he needed to set up the wardrobe area for the show. His mind was heavy. He had gotten several calls from his father in the last few days, but he had not had the heart to answer nor return them. He didn't want to talk about this messy business with Carol, and he certainly didn't want to talk about Finn and Jonesy's baby… or Jonesy's baby that Carol was convinced was Finn's, whatever! He pinched the bridge of his nose and paused. This was stressing him the hell out. He and Rachel would have to go get a couple of cheesecakes, later. In the meantime, he was going to have to think of a way to sit down and talk with Jonesy and let her know of his stepmother's intentions.

When Kurt backed his vehicle into the garage of the studio, Jonesy was already working on Unique's makeup. He unloaded things, by himself and began to set up his area. He had been there quite a while when Unique finally approached him and asked, "What is wrong with you, coming into my place without making your presence known?"

"Sorry, Honey. Things with Carol…" he said and waved a hand.

"You need anything?" She wondered.

"No, no. I'm just gonna go speak to Jonesy, then I'm going to finish setting things up, so I'll be ready when they come in for sizing. That reminds me – I need the information on the outside stylists and wardrobe specialists that they're using, so that I can get them set up here without being in _my _way."

"In this place, all ways are _my_ way," Unique said.

"Bye!" Kurt said, laughing as he went to speak to Jonesy. He approached, cautiously. She looked good – bright… glowing. "Hey, Jonesy!"

"Hey, Babay! I was starting to think that being pregnant turned me invisible," she teased with a wink.

"Sorry. A lot on my mind," he said, and tried to think of a way to bring the subject up.

"Well, Rachel and I are about to grab some brunch. Wanna come with? Gab it out?" She suggested, with a concerned look.

"No, no."

"Wanna come with and watch us gab while you eat a couple of cheesecakes?" She asked. Now, Kurt nodded. She rubbed his arm and said, "Come on. And when it's over, I'll come back and help you set up."

"Thank you."

"And if you have anything that you need to say, I will be here," she told him.

"Yeah, I know. You're a good friend, Mercedes, and an absolutely wonderful person. You deserve so much."

"Well, I feel like I'm getting so much!" She cheered, squinting her face as she smiled. "Thanksgiving was great. Christmas is going to be better! Sam is making Princess Babycakes this gift… It's hard to describe, but he won't show it to me until Christmas. Do you know how long its been since I've been excited about Christmas? PLUS! We're getting closer to going all the way, I just KNOW it!"

"About damn time. I don't understand why he's so stingy with it, anyway. You get to flaunt your sex on a stick, but not to indulge. In what world is that alright?" Kurt asked, getting the door for her to leave out and locking up behind himself. When he looked at her, her face was distant. Like it usually was when they talked about why she and Sam haven't had sex yet. Things were starting to come together even more in his head. He shuddered and wrapped his scarf up around his neck, even though he was sure that the chill that he felt had nothing to do with the cold.

"He just worries about his baby," she said and walked to his car. "You're driving!"

"So, about the baby… Since it has been established that you and Sam don't have sex, it has been established that he's not your babydaddy." She tensed up, but he continued, trying to remain casual. "What in the hell are you going to do if the baby's dad does try to come around?" he wondered.

"Where did this come from?" She asked, looking worried.

He sighed and shook his head, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to rain on your parade. You look better than you have in weeks. I'm not going to start stirring up anything for you. But, I just hope that you are prepared, if that ever does happen," he said.

"I am," she said, still eyeing him curiously. She probably had an idea that he knew something, but she wasn't trying to confirm anything. Things had been going too well for the past few days for her to burden her heart with those types of matters. But, there was something up with Kurt. She couldn't figure it out, but if he didn't want to talk, she didn't want to push him. "So, I introduced Rachel to my friend, Jesse and I think that they hit it off!" She said.

"Of course, she's told me all about him. Maybe we can hit up a triple date?" Kurt suggested.

"While that would be interesting; I don't think it'd go too well. Sam and Jesse don't really get along that well."

"Why not?"

"Just different kinds of guys," she said.

"Well, so are me and Sam, and we get along just fine," Kurt said.. "Unless… Jesse's hit it, hasn't he?"

"It was high school!" She quickly answered, and added in a mutter, "And a few times when he came to visit from college…"

"Ya hoe!" Kurt said and laughed, "Rachel doesn't know, does she?"

"I told her that Jesse was my high school sweetheart, which he was, for a bit. Ugh – shut up, Kurt."

"Sam really is a jealous bitch, isn't he?" Kurt asked.

"Whoa! Whoa! Language, Sir!" She said.

"But, how can he be jealous, all the while stingy with the sex? Is he just not a very sexual guy?"

"This is the least amount of sex that he's had since puberty."

"That man eludes me! As intuitive as I am about men, and as right as I have been about him in every other area of life, I simply can't fathom why the two of you aren't beast humping every single night and day," Kurt said, making Mercedes snort out laughter.

He felt better at brunch. Well, he wasn't as troubled, at least. He was full of cheesecake and drunk off of gabbing. Rachel was going to be in New York for Christmas, to go a play that one of her dads wrote. She simply blushed when Kurt asked if we would be stopping by to see Jesse while she was there. She was thinking of moving out there. Her dads were traveling more now than ever before and they're penthouse was hardly ever occupied. She would have a great place to stay, for free and be back where she loved to be. "Not even sure why I came back to Lima, if you want to know the truth. And now, I _really _want to be rid of the place."

"Did something happen?" Kurt asked. She hesitated. "Honestly, Woman – we're your best friends."

"I know," Rachel said and sighed, reaching into her bag to get a stack of letters, wrapped up in a ribbon.

"What the fuck is that?" Jonesy asked, immediately recognizing the prison stamp on the envelopes.

"Letters from Finn?" Kurt asked, grabbing them. "He's writing you?"

"Trying to get word to Mercedes," Rachel said, shaking her head. "But, he did write me a very sweet, long apology, though he didn't seem to grasp the fact that he chose to hurt me. Instead, he seemed to be presenting this weak idea that he treated me how he did because Mercedes had betrayed him and broken his heart, like that has anything to do with me and like that would excuse his behavior."

"Can I have those, please?" Mercedes asked.

Kurt wondered, "Why?"

"For my arsenal against him if he ever tries…" Her voice faded out as he put the letters into her bag. "just so you know, you can contact the prison and have them to not allow him to send you mail. I did it." Jonesy's smile returned and she changed the subject, "Unique and I have decided that if she gets some kind of big deal gig in LA, that I am going with her as her personal makeup assistant!"

"Isn't that your current job?" Rachel asked, puzzled.

"My current job is in Lima fucking Ohio, Rachel," Jonesy said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry that I sprung the letters on you. You seem tense, now," Rachel said.

"I'm not tense. I'm just trying not to think about any shit. I've got so much to be thankful for and for the first time in a long time, I have a lot to be happy about. Finn's not going to ruin that for me. I won't let him." Once again, she changed the subject, "Will you be in New York for New Year's, or just Christmas?"

"I'll be back the day after New Year's," Rachel said.

"Then, you'll be able to make it to my gathering," Jonesy said. "I have an important announcement for everyone. You already know, but I think it'll be goo for me to have you there." Rachel's face lit up and her eyes glistened with tears. "Stop it, Rachel. You know I love you, Girl."

"Yeah, I know… Are you ready for that?" Rachel asked.

"I think that I am," Jonesy answered. Kurt looked between the two of them and she took his hands into hers. "You're the one that I don't know how to tell, so I'm glad that Rachel is here and maybe I can get through this…" Kurt took a large swallow as Jonesy began to gently tell him the thing that he feared, the thing that he suspected, the thing that he could never look upon Finn without thinking about ever again.

"Did Finn say something to you?" she asked.

"Something like what?" He asked.

"Something like this is his baby?" She said. Kurt sighed and held tightly to her hands. "Ok… Ok, Kurt. Finn is family. I get that. But, he's not right for this baby's life, and you know it, as well as I do. He wasn't right for your best friend, and you stirred my shit up to try to get me to help her out of it. I had to reveal a very dark place to her to help her out of it. Do you think that he's going to be a better father than he was a boyfriend to Rachel or than he was a friend to me?"

"No, I don't!" He said and shook his head. "It terrifies me the thought of Finn with a kid… I just… Didn't you get pregnant after that night? Isn't Babycakes not possibly his?" He asked.

Jonesy sighed, "No. I got pregnant _that _night, but trust me, she is not and never will be his."

"Jonesy," Kurt said sympathetically.

"People have been finding out, gradually. I planned on telling everyone close to me the truth right after New Year's. I didn't ever want to tell you, because I know how you feel about him. And, I don't owe him shit. It's not about protecting him. I just wanted you to be able to have your brother, without having to think about the kind of person he is deep down inside. He's rotten, Kurt. Whatever good there was in Finn… I don't know what the hell happened to it. The letters he sent me, the things that he said to me that night when he was hurting me… Those words, those thoughts come from a depraved person."

"That night…"

"He raped me," she said, and sighed. "It's oddly frightening and simultaneously cool how easy its becoming for me to say that. I thank Sam and therapy."

"I defended him. I tried to keep Sam off of him. I excused his ass. How could you still even look at me?"

"I understand having fucked up family and loving them, after all of it."

Kurt asked Rachel, "You knew this and you kept it from me?"

"It wasn't her place to tell you, Kurt!" Jonesy said.

"Just for my understanding, Mercedes! I've been sending this asshole commissary and visiting him!" Kurt snapped, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Why am I snapping at _you? _You should be burning this world. Oh, Honey, Honey, Honey… How are you so glam and fabulous through it all? You've been incredible." Rachel nodded her head in agreement.

"Rachel, now you know that's not the truth," Jonesy said, bashfully.

"I wish that I had known. I know its too personal and too private to just be announcing," Kurt said, "But, I hope that you know that I would have done everything to help you."

"I love you, Kurt," Jonesy said. "Both of you will be there to support me, right? When I let everyone else know?"

"Of course!" They chimed at the same time.

"Andddd… if I feel all emotional right now and wanna just go have a movie marathon and more gabbing?"

"I'll clear my calendar," Rachel said.

"I'll finance it," Kurt said.

"You don't have to do that. I just really need company and I'm feeling that my company needs to be the two of you, right now."

"Whatever you need, Honey," Kurt said.

"Just some good time with my friends," she said.


	24. Chapter 24

**Don't Make Me Over 24**

Maryvonne tended to her yard for most of the day. Sure, she had Howard to help with things around the house, but this had always been something that she enjoyed doing and she felt well enough to do it. Afterwards, she made herself tea and settled at the kitchen island, enjoying it and reading news and events. Sam called her while she was doing that and she picked up, "Yes, Sam?"

"Hi, Ryvie," he said, curtly, then asked, "Are you busy?"

"Not at all, young man. What is it that you need, today?" She wondered.

"I know that you and Dr. Jones have lawyers and I'm simply wondering if I might get a referral for one?" He asked.

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" She asked. If he was, he needed to be in it far away from her daughter.

"I'm concerned that Finn's family might try to pull some kind of fast one and do something to take Babycakes from us, or even get us to share her. Who wants to share their child with psychopaths?" He said, with trembling in his voice.

"Oh, his family will be doing no such thing," she said. "Trust me. Is that all that you needed?" She wondered.

"No disrespect, Ryvie, but I feel like I need more than your word that this will be alright."

"Well, I'll give you more, soon," she said. She smiled, as though he could even see her and said, "If there's nothing else?..." She gave him about two seconds and hung up the phone. Then, her smile completely disappeared and she set her tea down, as well as her notepad and dialed a number, "Sue Sylvester, please? This is one of her clients, Maryvonne Jones. Of course, I can hold."

Carol Hudson went through the store, picking things up and pressing buttons on her little calculator, wondering if she had enough to get what she needed and stick to her budget, when she heard an unfamiliar feminine voice say, "Damn, that seems annoying." She looked up to see a woman who looked familiar to her, though she wasn't sure why, until the woman held out a hand to her, "Sue Sylvester, super lawyer," she introduced herself and Carol shook her hand, with a puzzled face. "Would you happen to be Carol Hudson-Hummel?" Sue asked.

"Yes. Yes, I am," Carol said, still looking confused.

"Well, it's your lucky day, Carol Hudson-Hummel, because I have a client who would like to make your life easier."

"How so?" Carol asked, having a feeling that she knew who this mystery client was.

"This is hardly the kind of place for that kind of talk. Give my office a call and we can further discuss it," she said, handing the woman a business card.

"I have a lawyer," she said.

"Good! Get him to call me. That'll be even better. Less… explaining will be needed." Sue turned and strutted away in her fine pantsuit, and Carol wadded her business card up and threw it in her purse, frustrated. She didn't know what they were up to, but she immediately detected the Jones in this. To hell with them, she was going to call her own lawyer about this matter!

"Quinn! Hi, this is Carol Hudson, Finn's mom?" She said.

"Oh, hi, Mrs. Hudson. What can I help you with today?" Quinn asked.

"I need to speak to your sister," she said.

"She's in meetings all day, Mrs. Hudson, but I can put you down for an appointment," Quinn said, looking through her sister's schedule.

"Please, as soon as possible!"

"What is this in regards to?" Quinn asked as she wrote the note.

"I'm not sure. A lawyer handed me a business card and said to get Fran to call her about something. It seemed really creepy, the way that she said it."

"So… you need Frannie to make a phone call for you?" Quinn asked, scribbling in pencil.

"No, I need her advice on the situation," Carol said.

"Got it. It's in her book and she'll call you…" Quinn paused then said, "Well, she's in between meetings, let me see if she has time to jump on the line…" She heard Quinn whisper, "It's Finn's mom, but I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell it is that she actually needs. A lawyer called her or something and I think she needs you to talk to the lawyer?"

"What lawyer?" Fran asked in the background.

"What lawyer, Carol?" Quinn asked. Fran mouthed, _'You didn't put her on hold?' _Quinn tried to read her lips and got completely distracted doing so, so Fran shook her head and whispered, 'Nevermind.' Quinn said to Carol, "Nevermind, Carol."

"What do you mean nevermind?" Carol screeched.

Fran shook her head and snatched the phone from Quinn's hands and waved her off, flustered. "Carol, hi! Sorry. It's a bit swamped in here and Quinnie might be a tad confused. What is it that I can help you out with?"

"Sue Sylvester, that super lawyer lady from the commercials came up to me in the supermarket, knew my name and handed me a business card talking about an opportunity and to tell you to call her, but it was pretty shady…"

"Alright, Carol. I'll call the woman and as soon as I have something for you, I'll get back to you," Fran said and hung up the phone. She took a deep breath and said, "Quinn, we took the case because you and Finn were such good friends and he was low on cash. The guy is a complete douchebag and his mom is a lunatic. So, thank you – for bringing these people into my life and having me to deal with whatever the hell it is that goes on in their fucked up minds."

"You're welc…"

"Sarcasm." Fran said and shoved her way past Quinn, huffing. Damn Quinn. Their father MADE her even hire Quinn on, in the first place and when she asked him why Quinn couldn't work under him, he replied that Quinn wasn't ready for that, yet. But, when was Quinn EVER ready for ANYTHING? Fran had gotten stuck with Finn's case after her husband got involved with a high profile case and she was given this to spread out his work load on unimportant things for him to focus on what mattered. She looked over the information and immediately got a headache. Guilty. Guilty as hell. Why did her husband even agree to this?

"He's one of Quinnie's friends," he'd told her. "I thought it would be a nice gesture, as your husband."

"Don't be nice when it's stupid," she fussed, but there she was. She told Finn that his best out was to make a deal. "If you don't and we drag this out, you'll have to pay for the full services, as your former lawyer was taking on your case as a favor, which no one else in the firm is willing to do, _especially _considering that you did this shit," she said and slammed his file down on the table.

"I'll do whatever you say is best," he said, and that was that. She thought that they'd be done with it. But, then there was the attack inside of the prison and of course Carol called her about it. It was such a gruesome attack and Quinn was so upset that Russell quickly agreed that they would do everything that they could to try to get him some justice, pro-bono. Personally, Fran didn't care for Finn or his problem. She had represented abused women before – many times early in her career. She had spoken with enough of them and with enough of the abusers, and had seen more photos than her mind knew how to accurately compartmentalize and therefore typically dredged them as swirls of hideous images in her head. Then, there was the whole letters bullshit and now… whatever this was. She knocked on Russell's door, seeing that he was alone in there and he glanced up to see her and waved her inside.

When she opened the door, he knew from her face that she wasn't pleased about something. "Hey, Daddy," she said, with a smile.

"Frannie. What's going on?" He wondered.

"The Hudsons," she said and threw her hands into the air. "Carol called and told me that Sue Sylvester made contact with her. I HOPE it's to take her ass off of my hands, but I know in my heart that it's not."

"Who is Carol?" Russell asked.

"Finn Hudson's mother!" She snapped.

"Oh, the uh.. the castrated boy. Quinnie's friend." He winced, "Terrible. What is it that you think that Sue wants with him, to turn him into a star?" He asked.

"She has most of the highest profile cases in Ohio," Fran said, "But, why would she even have anything to do with him? He's a short change Lima loser."

"Then, she represents somebody that he's pissed off," Russell said. "Call her up."

"I have meetings. I don't want to tie myself up with Hudson garbage. I was hoping that you'd call her, since you know her," Fran said.

"You were hoping that I'd take time out of _my _schedule to do some grunt work for a client that you've declared a Lima loser?" He repeated for confirmation.

"I could get Quinn to do it, but at the end, no one would know what the purpose of the call was. You kow the woman. She doesn't concern herself with pions. This seems to have traveled into your waters, Dad. I have to get back to my office and meet a client. Let me know if you won't do it and I'll handle it tomorrow."

"I won't do it!" He cheered before she left the office, both of them shaking their heads.

Carol didn't know how to feel. Days had passed and nobody from the law offices called her back and when she called them, she kept getting a voicemail. She was wondering if they were purposefully ignoring her calls, but that seemed beneath such people. She finally simply called the woman, Sue back and when she was directed to her asked, "What is it that you wanted to speak with me about?"

Jonesy and Sam were throwing a Frisbee to each other. This was a part of her working out, because she didn't like exercise regimens. Those were just… just all kinds of not her thing. So, she tossed the Frisbee for a while (usually alone), she flew a kite, and she hula hooped. That took way more energy and movement than it probably sounded like it did. She smiled at him as she accidentally flung it across the street and it fell into their neighbor's yard. Sam shook his head and jogged over to get the thing. He opened the gate, and went to grab it when a woman came outside in a thin bathrobe and questioned him. "Sorry, my girlfriend threw the Frisbee and I was just gettin' it and gettin' goin.' Didn't mean to trespass."

From what Jonesy saw, that bitch was flirting. She folded her arms, wondering why it was taking Sam so long to apologize. She lost her desire to finish playing when she heard Sam let out a flirtatious chuckle and she went inside. If he noticed or not, oh well. After a bit, Sam came inside and asked, "You don't wanna finish your fun work out?"

"No," she said, pouting.

"Hula hooping, though! That's my favorite part!" He pouted, now, too as he sat down next to her and folded his arms. She fought the urge to grin. "And I had to chitchat with that old lady in the bathrobe to peacefully get the Frisbee back and I don't even get to see hula hoop time." She stifled a snort when she almost laughed. "Don't. Even. Laugh… I'm salty as hell, right now."

"She was cute, though," Jonesy teased.

"Yo ass!" Sam shot at her and reached over to squeeze her knee, causing her to let out a yelp.

"Stop it!" She shrieked, with a giggle. That only prompted him to move in to tickle her!

Carol sat down in the seat that Sue nodded her head at, as she remained on her wireless line, talking, "I don't give a damn how old she is or what condition her mind is in. That old goat signed off on it and she is legally obligated to comply. IF she does not comply, she is taking the bull by the goddamned horns. I've talked to that bitch enough times to know that she understands each and every word that comes forth from my lips. You get it sorted out. I have someone here to fix," she said, making Carol furrow her brows at her choice of words. "Shouldn't take me too long, and when I'm done, I'll be coming for you! Okay. Alright, Mom and if she gives you hell, pinch her collarbone. That'll silence her for a few moments." She disconnected the call and told Carol, "If you ever become a professional, NEVER go into business for your family. Family will fuck you, every single time." Sue sat down and nodded her head once again, "But you know all about that."

"I can gratefully say that I don't, Miss Sylvester," Carol retorted.

"Please, please, _Sylvester _is fine, and I am willing to bet you every bit of change in my pocket that you understand better than anybody else in the building," Sue said. "Hence, the reason that I reached out to you."

"How did you even know where I was?" Carol wondered.

"There are people who specialize in such things, Mrs. Hudson…"

"Hummel," Carol corrected. "So, what is this about, after all?"

"This is completely about one of my client's desire to keep you safe from destruction," Sue stated, plainly. "It has been brought into attention that you are considering possibly attempting to contend with a mother on the validity of her right to raise her own child and that currently is a problem for my client."

"And you want to help me out by doing what?" She wondered.

"By proposing a contract in which you settle for a financial gift in order to refrain from something that will thoroughly reduce you to a pile of ash if you proceed," Sue said, sternly.

"You can't scare me," Carol said.

"The thing about ruins is that you don't have to be afraid in order to find yourself in them. Let me tell you what you're wise to do, Carol Hudson-Hummel. You're wise to settle your concerns out of court, without ever even nearing Mercedes Jones. You're wise to accept Mrs. Maryvonne Jones' gracious offer to GIVE you money in order to not put her daughter through any type of distress."

"What about my child's distress?" Carol asked. "Does she think she can wave money at what's been done to him and make it go away?"

"What's been done _to him?" _Sue repeated. She opened a file and pushed it towards Carol. "Though she did not press charges against him for it or receive the tests that accompany it, the bruises on her wrists, neck and hips are consistent with sexual assault. These are photos that were taken merely for the assault charges, but IF Miss Jones were to speak up about what really happened that night, I think that you'll find that what's _been done _to your child will become a pale whisper in comparison to what will be done when it is out in the open that not only does he beat women but he's also a rapist with an alleged baby on the way that you intend to try to return to his arms. I shouldn't have to tell you that Doctor and Mrs. Jones can be considered high profile clients, considering that the mayor, many politicians, lawyers, doctors, various professionals and fairly important people depend on Dr. Jones for all of their dental needs, as well as oral surgery."

Carol frowned and reminded her, "You can't scare me."

"You don't need to be afraid. I tell you who should be afraid – this asshole." She pushed Finn's photo towards Carol.

"How dare you?" Carol asked, outraged.

"How dare I what? Call a woman beating rapist who has the nerve to fight for a kid an asshole? Well, consider me daring, Carol Hudson-Hummel. Consider me a fucking daredevil." She clapped her hands once and explained, "This can't go very many different ways for him. Right now, since you haven't technically done anything wrong to Maryvonne and her family, aside from squeezing this out," she lifted Finn's photo as she said 'this,' "Technically, you are still in a good place for a wonderful opportunity. The Jones give you money, you sign off, you stay out of it. You don't do a damn thing to support the idea or the act of your son fighting my client's daughter for her baby. It is a very good price for a child that I'm relatively sure you won't even like, considering your sentiments towards the mother."

"And what about Finn? What does he do? Watch her take something else away from him?" Carol asked, teary eyed.

"He could do that. It would be best for him. Because whenever, if ever he does come for her, he'll have to go through me, complete with snarling fangs and my bite makes my bark seem like the chimings of fairies. High profile cases get convicts attention on the inside. Other inmates get stimulated. They'll go after his ass. No matter WHAT facility you try to have him moved to, the inmates there will get wind of what he's done and what he's doing and his everyday life will be a battle not to get stabbed from the back in every way." Sue folded her hands over each other and added, "He doesn't have much left to lose, but even of what he does have, TRUST me, this guy is not cut out for what is going to come out of having a high profile case while he's inside."

She leaned forward and said, "Mrs. Jones feels bad for you, because I told her to let it be – to let you make a fool of yourself trying to bring Fran Fabray up against me in a courtroom," Sue laughed at the mere thought of it. "I told her that not only was she still wet behind the ears, but that I don't even think she likes your kid. Plus, I know that you can't afford the Fabrays, not even the new blood. You'll drive yourself deep into debt, get your son killed, and get yourself humiliated in front of a judge, who I know would never take a child out of the care of people like the Jones and give her to someone like your son."

Carol could no longer pretend that she had any type of upper hand… Lawyers were pretty sleazy, but this one didn't have a single reason to lie to her, at the moment AND… her words had the ring of truth. Every single word. Sue saw that look in her eyes. She knew that she had that ass. "Do you need anything? Water with a little lemon?" Carol looked up at her, with tears welling up in her eyes. "Maybe a tissue?" Sue extended her a fancy, decorated mahogany and gold tissue holder to her. Carol snatched one and patted at her eyes. "Look," Sue said, placing the box down and speaking softer, now, "I may be a very hard lawyer, but inside, I am a person. I know that this is a difficult decision… to have your son hate you but get the chance to maybe make it out of this thing alive, or to keep his adoration while you send him to his doom, not to mention, your own? Think on it." Sue slid a sheet of paper to her, "This is the gift you give in order to move on with your life and mind your own business," she said pointing to a number. "It's precise and certain. This," she pointed to another number, "Is an estimate of what you get to lose if you proceed in the plan that you've voiced to try to legally battle Mercedes Jones for any amount of custody. You can hold onto that and add to that list – the impending attack of your son, upon his life by angered inmates and a kid that you won't ever really love, especially if she's worth all of that."

"I'll get back to you," Carol said and snatched the paper from the desk, leaving in a flurry of tears.

Sue chuckled and dialed a number, "Ryvie! Such a rude person, you are. I just watched every smidgen of hope vaporized from her. I'm pretty sure that she's gonna take your gift. If she doesn't, she's one stupid bitch."

Jonesy and Sam were flying their kites when the wind started pulling hers closer to his. "Move, Girl!" He snapped. "You're gonna break my kite, again!"

"I am the most skilled kite flyer in all of Lima!" She retorted.

"There's… there's a person claiming that title? Really?" He asked, and when she took a swing at him with her little fist, he chuckled, scrunching his nose, as he did.

"You broke the kites, last time," she reminded him.

"I did no such thing! You dropped yours and went running after it, bending over and stuff."

"Yeah, and you crashed your kite right into mine and got them tangled because you were looking at my booty!"

"It was pointed at me! Was I really expected to be watching where my kite was going?" He asked.

"Pervert," she said.

He started singing the booty song as he led his kite out of the path of hers and she laughed, almost losing her kite again. "Damn it, Sam! You know that I can't fly a kite, be pregnant and laugh all at the same time! I'm either gonna piss myself or lose my damn kite and I'll be mad as hell if I lose this kite! It's NEW, and has the rainbow on it!"

"So, gonna be totally cool with pissing yourself, I guess?" He asked, winning him a glare from her direction, which simply made him laugh. "And, I'm wondering if you know that that's a butterfly, not a rainbow?" He asked.

She looked up, glared at him again and stated, "It's a rainbow butterfly."

"It looks like it's for Babycakes," Sam said.

"Don't be jealous because your kite has no character," she replied.

"No character? You kidding? My kite is all blue. Hell yeah, my kite has character! Blue is the only color that's a color, a verb," he _blew _some air out of his mouth to demonstrate, "AND an emotion, all in one," he finished, giving her a crooked smile.

"One of those things is not like the others," she said and blew air out of her mouth for demonstration, as well.

"One of us is a full blown hater," he retorted, raising his eyebrows, still smiling.

"You sure are!" She told him. "Get your characterless kite away from my fabulous kite before you get them tangled!" She fussed, leading her kite away from his, instead.

"It's not the time of year for kites," he said.

"Was there a law passed that states this? Because, if I can't be fined for it, I'm not above doing it," she told him. "This is the perfect time for it, look at my tail blowing in all this wind," she commented.

"As much as I love looking at your tail, my eyes are being attacked with coldness," he said.

"I meant my kite tail, and your lips are being attacked with coldness, too. They're looking pretty crunchy, right now," she giggled. Sam dropped his kite and stepped on it to keep it from blowing away as he searched his hooded shirt for his chapstick, applied some and got his kite again.

"You know you're in love, when you're out and it's cold as fuck and you're flying kites with your damn girlfriend, because she likes that shit," he said out loud.

"You know you're in love when your boyfriend is Sam Evans," she said and blew him a kiss. "I love you, Baby! Thank you for doing this with me." She smiled at him, genuinely and he stared at her, smiling back with a dazed expression. He loved the fuck out of her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Don't Make Me Over 25**

Yet another month passed. It hadn't been drama laden, but it hadn't exactly been drama-free. Sam wouldn't let her see the fairy tale book. He had already decided that he wasn't going to show it to her until Christmas day and that she wouldn't see it again, until it was a finished product that he presented to Babycakes. The plans for the Jones-Evans Christmas Holiday were going… as to be expected. With people as different as the Jones and the Evans, Jonesy was pretty sure that if nobody was killed, then Christmas would be a complete success! She still had a couple of days for that to fall through, though.

She would have wanted to hold off for such a family gathering until the following Christmas, AFTER the birth of her child, "whose existence inside of me depends highly upon my welfare concerning the matters outside of me," she told Maryvonne, when trying to postpone a two family Christmas; but she was met with Ryvie's logic.

"I might be dead by next Christmas," the woman said, silencing her daughter's efforts in one sentence, instead of initiating an argument. But, Mercedes drew the line at having her aunts and cousins there. Just the Godfrey/Maryvonne household and the Dwight/Mary household, and that still would be a stressful gathering. These were probably the most stressful holidays that she had experienced in a long time.

It was also the most anticipated one that she had experienced, ever. She was baking for her group therapy Christmas party and singing, as she did. Mary gave her a few recipes, one of which, she was going to surprise Sam with on Christmas morning (gingerbread pancakes, his childhood Christmas favorite), which Mary insisted that she had to learn to make if she was going to bring the tradition into their new family. Also, she had bought herself a few books right after Thanksgiving holiday, on discount. Praise!

Currently, she was making frosted sugar cookies that looked like melting snowmen, and turtle flavored reindeer. She also intended to bring a chocolate cream pie. Carmen rented a place for the ladies and helped Grace to decorate it for them. All of the group members pledged to bring certain items and she decided on dessert, despite the general doubt that she could make anything worth eating. _Tsk, they must not know bout me. _She usually could learn anything that dealt in creating pretty easily and to her, food was another avenue of art…. And she was succeeding, because Sam, kept sneaking his blond ass into the kitchen and snatching treats.

Sheila was going to pick her up for the party, because shortly after Thanksgiving, she was advised by the doctor to limit her driving and therefore; she stopped driving altogether. She was also warned to be careful with sex… which she glared at the side of Sam's head at, because she imagined that he'd wished it upon a star, or something. But, that meant that she was a little more content with them waiting until after she had the baby for actual sex… but not 100% content!

Her restrictions were fairly hard, because she had so many things to do… but Unique understood and always was sure to have someone, be it Kurt, Gavroche, Jeremiah or Sebastian to collect her for any time that she was needed at the studio. Jonesy heard a knock and called out, "C0ming!" When she opened the door, Sheila looked like she had been crying and Jonesy wondered, "What's up?" Sheila shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Jonesy shrugged too, not wanting to press her, but she was curious if Stevie had done something to upset her. That was something, she definitely wasn't going to get into. "Let me grab the stuff and I'll meet you in the car."

Sheila followed her inside, in case she needed help and blurted out, "It's the Westerton's first Christmas without their daughter…"

Jonesy spun around and took Sheila into an embrace. "It _wasn't _your fault, Sheila. You were suffering and vulnerable when you made that deal to keep silent. The lawyers knew it, the family knew it and those bastards who raped you knew it. You can't hold yourself responsible for what happened when they decided to strike again, and their victim's suicide shouldn't be on your conscience."

"I know all of that, but I can't stop feeling bad. I graduate soon and I get to go on and live life. She doesn't. And she probably had a promising future. She maybe could have started her own business or went into some noble practice. She might have cured cancer!" Sheila spouted off.

"And it wasn't up to you whether or not those possibilities came to an end for her. Here," Jonesy said, handing her a reindeer cookie.

"You are wrong as hell for making this so cute! I don't even wanna bite it!" Sheila fussed, starting to cry.

Jonesy pat her on the back and said, "Well, don't germ it up, then," snatched the cookie and bit the antler off. Sheila laughed and shook her head.

The party was tremendous fun and great for all of their spirits. Shadonza made a pot roast and some green beans. Cameo brought dirty rice and potato salad. Andrea brought drinks, ice and disposable ware. Sheila brought gifts for everybody, instead of them doing secret Santa and all having to try to shop for a gift, "And of course," Sheila announced, "Jonesy's special stuff." White chocolate and white cheddar.

"The Lord moves you," Jonesy said, playfully as she accepted her sauces. The gift bags that Sheila passed out included bath stuffs, lip gloss/lip balm, fragrance, fancy chocolate, charm bracelets and Grace bought them all teal ribbon charms (to signify rape survivors), which were in a little baggie, attached to the bracelets and Carmen gave them all a card with a personal message of how she felt personally about the different journeys she watched all of them make.

Jonesy was already on the verge of tears reading hers when Andrea announced, "I brought cards, too," in her small voice. "They were just so darn cute." She passed her cards around and Jonesy accepted her own, putting Carmen's card away, unable to finish reading it at the moment. She might have to have Sam read it to her, later…

When she opened the envelope that Andrea gave her, she called out, "You all know that my hormones are a mess, and everybody's trying to trip me up, right now." Her face was set to cry as she opened her card and unleashed popup butterflies.

"I know that they aren't Christmasy," Andrea said, apologetically.

"They're perfect, Girl. These ARE cute!" Cameo told her, admiring the card, "I am gonna hang mine on my wall, along with Carmen's card and my other stuff from all of you. I have like a little miniature shrine. I should take a photo of it and text it to you."

"Yeah, you should!" Sheila said. "I haven't seen this shrine! There better be photos of me on it!"

"You know that you're my sister from another mister – don't even play. Of course it has photos of you and of the two of us. If I try to describe it, though, I'll sound crazy. I'll text everybody tonight, after I've mounted my cards. I thought that I told you about my dedication."

"No, Cameo! You did not!" Sheila fussed at her.

"I want some donuts," Jonesy said, with a pout. The room grew silent for a moment, then roared with the rolls of laughter from everyone else, but Jonesy, who was seriously wanting donuts, in addition to all that she had already eaten!

"Random. As. Hell!" Shadonza said, shaking her head and laughing.

It was no secret that Jonesy had put on some holiday weight, and even though having a skilled seamstress as a newb bestie had her able to alter her favorite clothes and new clothes not made her ladies like her, so that she could still be fab for less, Kurt had a lot on his plate for the holidays and decided to simply take her shopping. Some part of her thought that he did all the things he did because he still felt bad about Finn, but he would assure her that it was because she was his bestie.

"After Unique's Winter Wonderland getaway, gay squad goes through the final applicants audition videos and conducts interviews for the vote!" Kurt cheered. "I can help you dress for the interviews."

"I'm not going to be a part of that. That's not my field. Anyway, I think that gavroche might make me tell him something about himself and I'm trying to keep a cool head. He hates my ideas and he doesn't respect any of my input, because I'm not a _real _makeup artist, not even in the fashion industry and not a drag queen, either."

"That bitch!" Kurt snapped.

"Yep," she agreed.

"Well, you _are _a real makeup artist – that's your actual occupation, not some hobby that you're trying out, and you do this actual occupation FOR someone who IS in the fashion industry and appreciates your input, at every turn, who also happens to be a drag queen and trust you with her drag makeup needs. Obviously, he's jealous."

"His motives don't make me want to punch him in the face any less, Kurt," she said. "So you, him, Jeremiah, Sebastian, and Blaine have a gay old time. I have too much happening for the holidays to put myself through that type of duress."

"Yeah, no kidding… Actually, Blaine sits out things like this. Too much tension. See, he used to like Jeremiah and Sebastian used to like Blaine, and… I simply try to keep meetings involving all three of them to a five minute maximum. _Awkward." _

Jonesy waved a hand at his issue and corrected, "No, I'll tell you what's awkward… My man has a damn ex-girlfriend who is best friends with a woman whom he sporadically hooked up with. This chick is the on again/off again girlfriend of a young man who is the younger brother of one of Sam's closest friends – who is currently seeing the last woman that Sam was interested in before he and I, and this younger brother is the son of one of our contestants… and ALL of them plan on being present to support this contestant."

"Must you always bring the extra? Nobody asked you all of that and this isn't a competition to determine whose circle of friends are more drama filled," Kurt said.

"Yes it is," she said.

He fanned himself with his hands and agreed, "Yeah, it definitely is, but I admit defeat on the grounds that the my inner gossip girl needs the deets!"

"Thought so. Contestant: Tanisha Puckerman."

"AKA Tabansi Puck?" Kurt asked.

"AKA Tabansi Puck. Her only son, Jake is the half brother of Noah Puckerman…"

"Shut up! I never would have put that together. I just presumed that there were black Puckermans around, or something."

"Jake's girlfriend, Marley hits Sam up every time she and Jake have a fight, but last time, Sam told that bitch to get to steppin,' you know – much like Blaine probably told Sebby to when he tried to get at him."

"Hope Sam did a better job of it, though," Kurt mumbled, "But! That's a discussion for another day. Continue spilling."

"And let's not forget that Marley took Jake from her so called friend, Kitty because apparently, he felt that Kitty didn't treat him right," Jonesy went on, with a glare. "And I can totally believe it, because when she was with Sam, UGH! I can't even talk about it!"

"You'd better, now that I'm in suspense!"

"I'll raise my blood pressure just thinking about it and I need to save such high risk moments for things like Christmas with Sam's and my family. Keep in mind, this is the first Christmas with my family since I was 15 years old."

Kurt shrugged, "Don't think I'll forget to interrogate you after the fact… I am hella interested to know how things will go with Puckerman and company. That will be delicious drama for the behind the scenes aspects of the show. So, who do you think are likely to get into it?"

"I will say probably Sandy Ryerson and Chandler Kiehl," Jonesy answered, "I can see them having full blown diva-offs."

"I want to see the sparks fly between Lauren Zizes and Shannon Beiste," Kurt said.

"Why do they have to be pitted against each other? I think that Beiste could be a good source of friendship for Zizes," Jonesy said.

"I don't see very many people being a good source of friendship for Zizes," Kurt replied. "I will tell you that I am rooting for…"

They both said at the same time, "Tabansi Puck." Kurt asked, "You're rooting for her too?"

"No. I'm rooting for De'Wanda Umber. She reminds me of Auriga Suicide, who is one of my damn favorite models, ever. I think that she's probably been inspired by her."

"Don't speculate, Mercedes. Just because they're both black models with vitiligo doesn't mean that De'Wanda has to look up to Auriga. De'Wanda's profile actually states that she looks up to Naomi Campbell and Retta."

"You can look up to Naomi Campbell and Retta and still be inspired by somebody else! What, you think that there is a limit on it, or something? I look up to Patti Labelle and Pam Grier, but do you think that means that I don't idolize Lauryn Hill or that I haven't been inspired by Pat McGrath?"

"Good point. We'll ask her," Kurt said, picking up a blouse and holding it up to her.

"I want to wear a dress," she told him.

"Let me guess, purple?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Don't be cute. You know that WHATEVER we select, I'm going to rock the hell out of it," they fiddled their fingers against each others' and laughed.

Christmas Eve. Sheila brought her large tote bag and a bouquet of poinsettas to the simple, but wordy gravestone and set the flowers down. "Merry Christmas, Dottie!" She cheered. "I brought you flowers and of course, I brought us some wine and other spirits. She set a little mat down and sat on it so that she could open the wine, as she went on to say, "I saw your parents last week. I went into their restaurant. Firgued you'd be happy to know that they had a Christmas candle lit for you, and there were lovely family photos all around it. You look like your dad. Thought it was kinda cool how your dad has a white dad and a black mom and your mom has a white mom and a black dad. All of them are good looking people, too. The photos were beautiful. I stared at them for several minutes. You were so lovely. I wish we could have met."

She finally got the wine open and took out two glasses, "I wish that I could have seen you recover. Recovering hurts. It's hard and slow and bumpy and in many experiences never fully complete… But it is possible. There is hope. There was hope for you. You could have… healed." She poured the two glasses of wine and clicked them together. One, she left right where it was and the other she began to sip. "You could have come to our Christmas party. We could have done things together, became great friends, even better friends than we are right here and right now. Oh, I sent your folks a care package for Thanksgiving and one for Christmas. I figure it's the least that I can do…" Sheila started sobbing and took a drink of her wine…

Stevie and Jonesy hadn't really talked all that much since Thanksgiving, but he did call her on Christmas Eve when he got to Lima and Sheila wasn't home. "Hey Jonesy, have you seen or talked to Sheila, because I'm at her place and nobody's home. She knew that I was going to be here today and yet she isn't answering her phone and she's not here to meet me. At first the phone was ringing, but now, it's going straight to voicemail." She could hear that he was either annoyed, concerned or possibly both.

"I haven't seen or talked to her since the other day at our last group meeting of the year, but you know that with her going through it right now, she possibly just needs some space for herself."

"Going through it," Stevie repeated.

"Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, since she tells you everything. She doesn't believe in hiding spare keys and neither myself or Sam is going to be home any time soon. I'm at my mom's house and you can come over here, if you'd like?"

"No thank you, Jonesy. Just… let me know if you hear from her," he requested, sadly.

Later in the evening, he held one of Sam and Jonesy's throw pillows, tightly, worried more than anything. Sam wondered, "Did something happen between you two that she might be avoiding you?"

Stevie shook his head, then tilted it and shrugged, "Last time I came out here, a couple of weeks ago…"

"I didn't know that you came into town," Jonesy said. Stevie sighed. Maybe he shouldn't say anything else..

"What happened, last time?" Sam asked.

"We went to this party at your friend Nick's and I think it freaked her out," he said.

"You took her to a party at Nick's place?" Jonesy asked, horrified.

"We _went _to a party at Nick's place and you're the one who even referred us to the dude, in the first place!" Stevie snapped at her.

That brought Sam from his seat and he stepped over to Stevie, asking, "Where is it that you think you are and who is it that you think you're talking to? Because this place is her home, where she lives, and this woman who you're using that tone with in her house, that's _my _woman, and I don't want you to get it twisted that because you're family you're gonna come in here and talk to her however you want to. That isn't happening, Brother. I HIGHLY suggest you take some deep breaths and think before you fly off at the mouth again, because I'm not gonna tolerate you talkin' to _her _like that. She ain't Sheila." Sam was shaking one of his legs and looked like he might pounce on Stevie at the drop of a hat. Jonesy reached out and rubbed a hand up and down his arm.

"Hey," she said to cool him down, "He's just worried about Sheila," she said; but she would be lying if that didn't coat the entire length of the slit of her panties.. She sighed, with a slight moan mixed in it, shook her head clear an asked Stevie, "Did she say that it freaked her out? I already know how Nick's parties can be – full of doms and subs, subs doing whatever their doms command, sex out in the open, swapping subs, humiliation, slut training – the works! Am I on point? That the kind of place you brought a woman who I warned you to be careful around her triggers?"

"We discussed it and she said that she was fine with going, as long as I didn't utilize her while we were there, which I didn't; but the slut training thing in the basement really bothered her. I think that maybe she knew the woman or something, because she said "Dottie" and totally flipped out and Nick and I led her outside to get some air and cool off, but she wanted to leave after that."

Jonesy sighed and shook her head, "Dottie is dead, Stevie. Dottie is the girl who got attacked by the same people that attacked Sheila, a short while after she took their money and didn't speak up. I don't know if Dottie got an offer too, but I do know that she wrote her parents a very long letter about how much she loved them and begged them not to blame themselves and she jumped out of the window of her dorm, to her death. I don't even know if the parents know the full story, but it was all over campus about what the guys did to Dottie and Sheila is bummed out that it's her family's first Christmas without her."

Stevie's eyes dampened and he shivered, "She hadn't gone into detail about it. She just said that a girl killed herself after being raped by the same guys who attacked her, but she never said more than that. Oh, God! And you think she's okay? It's freezing out and she's upset. What if she crashed her car and is in a ditch somewhere? Oh my God, what if she's… I can't just sit here and wait!" Stevie jumped up and tossed the pillow aside, reaching into his pocket for his keys.

"What are you gonna do? Just drive around Lima, hoping you see her?" Sam wondered.

"Yeah!" Stevie said, "I don't have any better options, because just staying and hoping that she's alright is not gonna work for me!" He briskly headed for the door as Jonesy called out to him.

"Stevie, you shouldn't drive like that. You're clearly upset. What if _you _get into the accident and it turns out that she's fine and her phone just died or something?" He wasn't listening. He was out of the door and to his car by the time Sam caught his arm. Stevie struggled to pull away, but Sam wouldn't let him. Jonesy was right – he didn't need to be driving in this condition, having just learned that information and being obviously shaken up with worry.

"Stevo," Sam whispered, pulling him into a hug. "Hey, Man… I'm sure she's fine, okay? You can't fly off of the handle like this…"

"If it was Jonesy, would you be so calm?" Stevie asked, sniffling.

"No, of course not, but I'd hope that y'all would try to calm me down, too. I ain't tryin' to stop ya. Just, give me your keys. You don't need to be driving, just like if it was Jonesy, I shouldn't drive." Stevie sniffled and handed him the keys as Jonesy came to the front door. "I'm gonna drive him around. He can't sit in here with his thoughts, but he obviously can't drive…" She nodded her head, better off with that plan, but now, SHE was worried about Sheila too.

It just occurred to her that before the therapy sessions, Jonesy didn't know how Sheila handled the hard stuff. What if therapy wasn't enough for the guilt and Sheila felt the need to seek out other forms of forgetting? Where the hell WAS she, after all? Sam cupped her face and said, "Baby!" Snapping her out of her brow-furrowing worry. "I don't like the thought of something being wrong here, either – but I gotta believe she's alright because you love her and Stevie's in love with her. I'll keep you posted."

!

Jonesy had called Grace and Carmen both, and asked them if they knew anything, and while neither of them did, Carmen offered to call other contacts that she had for Sheila and casually ask them about getting in contact with her. Between the three, they decided not to alarm the other ladies. It wouldn't be a good thing, especially if Sheila was fine and just taking some time to herself, which she would be entitled to, if she had. Jonesy wished that she would have told someone, but at the same time, she knew that there were times that she herself caught ghost on folks at bad moments and caused a stir. She rubbed her belly and said, "Girl, you better never do that to us."

She had a certain urge to call her mom and apologize for a list of things, but took to the couch, instead, wondering what she could watch to help smooth her heart and the growing nausea in her stomach out. After a while, Carmen called her back, "MJ, love… I don't know if I have good news or not…"

"I'll take it. I'm sitting down," Jonesy said.

"Sheila has been known to visit Dottie Westerton's grave, on occasion, so Grace and I took a drive out to it and Sheila may have been there before, but she's not, now. Her car is still here, at the cemetery, but we don't see her anywhere. But, there's flowers and wine here. I don't know if she's been drinking."

"Well, if she has, that might explain why she left her car! Hopefully, she called a cab to get home?" Jonesy said, with some hope.

"That's one possibility," Carmen said.

"What are others?" Jonesy wondered.

"Oh, Girl, there are plenty," Carmen said. "None of them I really want to think about, but I'm prepared for whatever we find out. I think that Grace is calling the groundskeeper. There was a number on the gate. Maybe they know something, but its Christmas Eve, nobody might answer." Jonesy gnawed at her lip, put her phone on speaker and began to text Sam. "Did anyone answer?" She heard Carmen say. Then. "What?..." Jonesy stopped keying, midtext and listened to Grace in the background.

"He says that he called the police on her – she was drunk and asleep on a grave and when the police came to get her, she was boisterous and combative, so they took her in," she heard Grace say.

"MJ…" Carmen started.

"I heard her. Thank you so much. Thank both of you. I hate that I bothered you about this on Christmas Eve."

"No, no, this is one of the functions of group and we're just glad that she's safe and gets to sleep it off. To be honest, I was worried that she might have gone after those guys," Carmen said.

"Oh, no… I didn't even think about that! I'm glad THAT isn't what happened. I have to let Sammy and Stevie know. We'll go to get her, if we can," Jonesy said.

"I could pick her up," Carmen offered. "I know that the two of you have gotten close, but maybe she'll feel better if her boyfriend and his family didn't see her like this, right now."

"Ok… Stevie will likely show up, anyway; because I have to tell them so that he stops driving around Lima in a panic."

"Alright, well. He is a grown man. I can't stop him," Carmen said.

Carmen checked with the jail to see about getting Sheila released, but was told that she would have to stay in for the night and be released in the morning. She went on her way and on her way out, passed Sam and Stevie, "Hey!" She called out to Sam.

"Carmen, hey… where is she?" he wondered.

"They'll release her in the morning," the woman told him. He nodded his head while Stevie went inside. "Stevie?" Carmen called and he turned around, seemingly noticing the woman for the first time. "I wish that we could've met under different circumstances. Sheila's told me a lot about you… but she's not going anywhere tonight. I'm sure that she'll be fine. She just needs to sleep it off and they'll release her in the morning."

"I can wait. Sammy, you can go home. I'm gonna stick around," Stevie said.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can come back in the morning," Sam said.

"I want her to know that I'm here for her, okay? She needs to know that whatever she goes through, I'll be there, with her. You… you just don't get it."

"I _completely_ get it. Jonesy is one of the most reclusive people that I know of and I have been on the outside, trying to help without any kind of progress. I totally understand how you're feeling. But, she's not gonna get out any sooner and she's only gonna feel worse if she knows that you slept here all night. She doesn't need to have to feel worse than she already obviously does. Let's just go back to the house. You know that she's safe and that's all that matters." Stevie nodded, but as soon as they got back to the house he got into his car and went back to the jail.

Sam didn't try to stop him. He just went inside and cuddle up to Jonesy, who was all washed up, and in bed. She turned and snuggled into him. "Is he alright?" She aske,d softly.

"Eh, he's… just handling it in his own way. Stevie doesn't like to be around people when he's upset, so he'll probably go somewhere to be alone for a while. How are _you?"_ He looked into her eyes and she chuckled. "She's safe," he told her, with some hope in his voice.

"She's drunken sleeping in a jail cell and when she wakes up is going to feel pretty shitty on Christmas morning," Jonesy said. "And, she hasn't been drunk since that night. I don't know if it brought back memories – if she's having nightmares tonight…"

"You know that she's safe, though, Babe." He stroked her face and kissed her lips. "I need to go shower, but I had to hold you, first. When stuff like that happens, it makes me think about what if it was us and you disappeared on me, or what if it was our daughter out there…"

"I understand, completely," she said, with a shaky voice. She reached out and touched his cheek, "I know that this world is gonna throw her all kinda mess, but she's gonna have such a good foundation. She's got a collection of godmothers, her grandparents are already spoiling her in advance, her Mimi got her a totally diva nursery, her Meemaw is gonna give her all the snacks and let her have all the fun… and she is without a doubt going to have the best dad in the history of the world." Sam blinked to keep tears from creeping up.

"Aw, he's gonna be okay on his good days," he said.

"Well, his okay is more excellent than anybody else's best," she said and squeezed his cheek, then kissed him. "Need help in the shower?"

"Sure couldn't hurt," he told her and got up, pulling her up into a hug when he did. "In just a moment, though." He just wanted to hold her for a bit longer.

!

"No. You. Didn't!" Sam cheered when he came running into the kitchen to the smell of his mom's famous gingerbread pancakes. He reminded her of a little boy, with that light in his lovely green eyes and his blond, spiky hair a mess on top of his adorable head. He was in a pair of boxers, pale as hell from the winter coverage, but still gorgeous as he rushed to the stove.

"I'm almost done…" She was going to say when he captured her lips into his and gave her an amazing good morning kiss. "Um… you… can have a seat. I know how you like your pancakes and I know how much of what to put on your plate."

"That's love!" He cheered rushing to the table, as excited as ever about these pancakes.

"And, whenever you get done, you can grab the book," she said, with a smile. He looked at her and nodded, then rushed out of the room. Was he going to get it now? Sam came back into the kitchen carrying a large pile of wood and cardboard, with a grimace on his face. He shook his head. He passed her up and went towards the nursery. "Where are you going?" She wondered.

He came back, empty handed and said, "You said after I eat. I went to set it up."

"Oh. Okay," she said, with her eyes moving towards the doorway, ready to see it, already! "Well, I got the gingerbread pancakes. Got your whipped peanut butter buttercream."

"Yessss!" Sam cheered as she continued.

"Your maple syrup, heated up with Steen cane syrup to sweeten it and infused with melted butter…"

"Because you're the angel of my heart," he said.

"Because you're the angel of mine," she corrected, and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Baby. Merry Christmas." He wrapped an arm around her waist, kissed her exposed belly and rubbed her hip. She moved away from him to get the rest of his breakfast – eggs, sausage, bacon and fruit. Then, she got her own food… pancakes, syrup, whipped cream, white chocolate, scrambled eggs with white cheddar, sausage and fruit, no bacon. They both sat, eating and him making all kinds of hilarious unnecessary sex sounding sounds as he ate. "So… did I do well?"

"Baby!" Was all that he could manage between mouthfuls and moans. When he finished, he leaned back, pat his belly and said, "Don't tell my mama, but yours were better than hers."

"I followed the recipe," she commented. "I changed up a couple of _little _things here and there…"

"You know what I like, Baby. It's okay. I'm glad you changed it up, a little. Now, you made it your own and we can take some of the old with our new." He reached over and stroked her hand, "But, I _honestly _can't move. I gorged myself on that. It was like the best breakfast ever."

"You didn't make that much noise when I sucked you off in the shower last night," she teased.

"Heyyy…" He warned, feeling her words and the memories work him up, that quickly. "I did, too! I almost passed out. What were you trying to do to me?"

"I was trying to get you to fuck me," she said, rolling her neck.

"Doctor said you couldn't even do that," he said.

"No she didn't. She said to be careful about it for a while and that was a couple of weeks ago and I've cut down on everything else she mentioned, since then, so I think that I'm good to go, AT THE VERY LEAST, for some careful sex."

"Where's Stevie at? You see him this morning?" He asked, totally changing the subject. She pressed her lips together and he sighed and said, "Let's just get the heavy stuff over with first, huh? Christmas with our parents, together, New Years with our friends, your… confession party. AFTER all that, I promise, we'll talk about officially having sex."

"We'll _talk," _she repeated. She shook her head, annoyed, "Fine. I haven't heard shit from Stevie all day, or Sheila. I tried to call both of them and neither answered. But, I'm sure that they're both fine." She got up, snatched up her plate and his too. He sighed and threw his head back.

"You _have _to know that I want you more than anything. I have wanted you since that time that T and I walked into Nick's tattoo shop and you had a big old puff in the back of your head with sparkly stuff dangling from it. I remember what you had on. You were wearing a one sleeved, open back, green blouse and showing off your cleavage and that ladybug tattoo on the back of your left shoulder, and a pair of ripped up blue jeans with little stars all over them. You had on purple leather shoes and I dug it, because nothing else on you was purple and you had the saddest big brown eyes… I just wanted to hold you all night, make you feel as beautiful as you looked, make that sadness in your eyes go away." He got up and followed her to the counter and took her hand to turn her around to face him.

"That night, we talked about comic books, horror movies, cartoons and music, and I thought to myself, if I don't get her phone number and I never talk to her again, it is going to fuck with me for the rest of my life. So, I asked you for your number and you told me that you don't give out your number to strangers, but that I could stop by the shop any time that I wanted to, to see you… so, naturally, I came by the shop every day and invited you to every music show that we had, until I wasn't a stranger anymore. There's just too much that could go wrong with us taking that step, Babe. I don't want to mess things up now, after everything that you've gone through and that we've been through, together." He cupped her face and kissed her.

"You… you have something to show me," she reminded him, fighting the urge to start crying, thinking about how sweet he could be and how she almost let him get away. Good thing he was persistent. She wouldn't trade him for a thing, even if they never got around to the sex part of their relationship and he did agree to talk about it after the holidays. She sighed.

"Yes, I do. Let's go into the nursery and check this thing out," he said.

In the purple, white, brown and pink nursery that Maryvonne had funded, Jonesy had designed and Sam had built, he had set the book on the white rocking chair. He picked it up offered his lap to her and when she sat, he placed it on her so that they could both see it. She couldn't resist turning the pages for herself and reading along as Sam read it to her.

"Once, there was a beautiful young maiden, who lived in a world of darkness, with a bunch of scary people. She was the most perfect maiden in all of the lands, but no one knew because she hid herself away so much. She was scared that if people saw her that they might hurt her and to be honest, whenever someone did find her, they did hurt her." The illustrations were beautiful. It was put together in collage format. It was clear to her that he'd drawn the portrait of her face elsewhere and added it to the scenery of the setting of the story – as an image in the sky over a lovely landscape.

He turned the page. "Her mother, a powerful, rich ruler tried to prepare her for the horrors of the lands, but was so mean that the maiden ran away, vowing never to go home to the woman, again. But, the world had already started tearing away at her. She had already met some bad people, scary villains, evil monsters…" She rested her head back on him, looking at the different scenes he drew, of the maiden struggling with different men – nothing vulgar, thank goodness, but they did stir up her worst memories. She held tightly to his arms as she followed along, on the journey as he saw imagined it and adapted it to a fairy tale.

By the time they got to where he left off, the "lucky young man" had brought the maiden to his family and they fed her and gave her hugs and kisses and the wise old sage, who was his mother told her that the curse that the wicked sorcerer cast on her could be broken by true love. Jonesy was sniffling. "That's as far as I've gotten." She turned and rested her head on him, crying out of… she didn't even know what she was feeling. "Well, damn… I wanted it to make you happy," he said. "Maybe I shouldn't give it to her. I don't wanna make her cry…" Her head snapped up and she looked at him with daggers for eyes.

"Sam Evans, if you don't give this to our baby, we'll have a full blown fight."

"Okay," he said and smiled up at her. "So those are 'I love it so much' tears? Cool. I hope that I can make you as happy with the gift that I got you. Is it gift exchange time yet, by the way?"

"Yeah… Let's do that. I'll go first, because knowing you, I'll pass out, cry, pee on myself, have a heart attack and be slain in the spirit by whatever it is that you've thought of for _my_ gift…" She got up, headed for the door, stopped and looked at him, "I feel like she's gonna be the most loved little girl in the world, and that makes me proud. It makes me feel good about my decision."

"I feel good about it too, Babe," he said with a smile. "Go get mah gift!" he teased, getting up and setting the book down on the chair. It was incomplete, but it was going extremely well. And now, it was gifts time.

"You gotta come with me, because your gift was too heavy for me to move myself and too big for me to hide from you. So… we put it in the storage, because I knew that you wouldn't go in there, any time soon," she told him.

"Heavy and big? Now, I am so curious," he said, slipping his feet into his slippers. She smiled brightly, feeling lighter than air as she led the way to their adjacent storage area.

"Yeah, I got an advance from Unique for the show, which is why I spent so much time doing all of that extra work, because I wanted to put in the time to make up for what she gave me…" he gave her a look. "What? It didn't hurt anything? And you're worth this." She opened the storage and they looked at what appeared to be a walk in vault. "The delivery guys set it in such a place that in case you don't want to go through the hassle of getting it inside, it can still stay here. It's a vault closet," she said and pulled out a key to it.

"It's AWESOME!" He cheered. "I'm gonna get it into Kruger's room and put my collectibles and stuff in it!" He opened it to see how much room it had inside and gasped. The vault already had a few items in it, to start out. He had new spiked sneakers, boots, accessories – new studded arm bands and spiked bracelets, trench coat – many things that he had been claiming that he was either going to get when he had some extra money, or replace when he had some extra money. "Shut up! Are those gauntlets?" he asked, grabbing a metal pair of red and black gauntlets and eyeing them. "These are AWWWWWWEEEEESOME!"

"You said you wished you had a good pair to wear for your New Year's Eve show," she commented, casually. "And, I got you a corset… because you've been saying that you wanted one of those too," she said, pulling the corset hangar from the rod.

"I fucking love you," he told her and set the gauntlets down so that he could give her a proper hug and kiss. "How… much did you spend on all of this?" he asked her.

"Oooh! That is rude! I'm not gonna ask YOU that! Anyway, some of this was already brought. I was waiting for Christmas to give it all to you at once and have it be like a really boss bestie to bestie gift, but love happened in the meantime," she said, smiling, glad that he loved it so much.

He examined the corset, "This is gonna go well with my gauntlets. I'ma wear this thing to the New Year's show. You'll have to do my make up. I'm gonna be so hot up there! Ohmygod! OH. MY. GOD!" He rushed over to a black resin box with skulls all over it and opened it. "You've given me storage stuff inside of the storage? I almost hate you because this is so good and now I feel outdone!"

"As much as you're CONSTANTLY going above and beyond and murdering my heart with it? I'm elated for this one small victory, because um… you might not be getting anything else for the next entire year," she laughed.

"I don't even need anything else. Got my boss ass bestie to bestie love gift, got my lady and gonna have a baby girl soon… Damn… I'm set for life, Jones." He reached for her and gave her a hug. "I'm gonna get your gift, then, I'm gonna come out here and start trying to get this thing inside."

"You can't do it alone," she said, worried.

"Don't be ants at a picnic, Woman, I'ma need this inside pronto so I can start filling it up with my favorite stuff!" He said.

"I… You'd better not hurt yourself. When are Dwight and Mary getting here? Because you can't move that thing alone. It's like a little ROOM, Sam. You might need a forklift or something," she said.

"Nonsense…"

"For the sake of my sanity and stress levels… could you not try that?" She asked. He looked defeated.

"Alright, but I'm gonna start bringing all of my favorite stuff out here to put away and I'm gonna be in here for several hours every day."

"Fair enough," she told him, with a smile. Hell yeah, she'd done well on today. The pancakes, the gift… oh yeah! Girlfriend of the year might be her Christmas title.

!

Sam brought out a circle shaped box with a big purple bow and told her, "I brought you something that I like to call a promise ring." He set the box down and opened it. She was confused. It box was far too big for a ring, but when he opened it, she gasped. There was a set of purple jewelry, set up, arranged in a ring, circling the box. "It is a ring, see… not like a ring, ring, but you know, like a ring…"

She nodded and covered her mouth, "Beautiful."

"Here goes, he said. The hairclip is because I love being close to your thoughts. The bracelet is because I with your hand in mine, I always want our journey that I agreed we would travel together. The watch is because I will love you for all times. The butterfly pin is worn close to your heart, where I hope to never leave. The earrings, are because I love to hear you speak and sing, and I want you to want to love that about me, as well. The necklace is because I'm gonna protect your next, as long as I'm around, and the ring…" He picked it up out of the box and showed it to her, "The ring is like other rings, given in love, as a declaration of how much I love you. I don't know if we'll ever get married and be together forever and all of that. But, I do know that I'm always gonna love you and I promise that I'll do anything and everything to make sure that you never forget that."

"Damn you!" She hissed.

"Not the response that I wanted…" he said with a crooked smile. She grabbed his collar, pulled him to her and kissed him hungrily. When she released him he commented, "That's more like it." She slid her finger into the ring. Sam noticed that she put it on her left pinky. He smiled, "Cute. Does it fit?"

"Perfectly, because obviously you took my ring size from before I was pregnant, when my ring finger was smaller."

"I snatched your favorite ring," he said. "I didn't even think about size changes and all that."

"It's good. This ring needs to be a pinky ring. I mean, IF we get engaged or married in the future, then I get to get another ring for the ring finger." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closely. "Love you."

"I know. I love you too. We're like one of those really annoying lovey couples that everyone else hates because they're so damned unrealistically cute that people get sick thinking of them or seeing them or hearing about them, because – damn, why can't my lovelife be like that?... People have no idea what we've been through." He looked into her eyes and said, "We earned doing all of this cute, lovey shit for each other.

"Yeah. Yeah, we have. I want to wear this all today, but then again, I want to save it for a really special occasion, like the premiere of the show… you wouldn't mind, would you? If I saved it for then?"

"I don't expect you to just be wearing this entire complete set every day, Babe. But, if you could wear the ring today?"

"Ok, see… unless my fingers keep fattening, I don't even intend to take this ring off. In fact, I'll pinky swear to it, using this very pinky," she said waving it at him. He took her pinky with his, then grabbed her hand to pull her in and kiss her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Don't Make Me Over 26**

Typically, Stevie was not prone to bouts of anger or outbursts. Aside from his arguments with Stacey, he hardly ever raised his voice or became outwardly inflamed. His anger generally produced brooding. He wasn't sure why Jonesy's words irritated him so… maybe because she knew Sheila better than he did and if SHE had doubts… maybe they were warranted… He didn't like to think that.

Since he first began talking to Sheila, all he wanted was for things to not only work between them, but to be great. Some part of him wanted to save her, even though he didn't fully understand what from. That was a mistake, on his part; he knew that. There was no such thing as heroes and if there were, he would _hardly _be a candidate for such a role. But, with her – he just couldn't help himself.

The day that they met, he noticed her long before she even realized that he was around. She had been managing her move with professionalism and this bossy air about her that was cute but concise. But, she would also pause to clown with her friend Cameo and go back and forth in playful arguments with her friend Shadonza. She was business-minded, but also socially capable. However, Stevie noticed almost immediately that her demeanor changed completely when she interacted with a man. She didn't become rude or less capable – but she became noticeably distant, detached. Someone had hurt her… some man, he was pretty sure of it. And when she told him about it, not wanting to beat around the bush, he handled it calmly. He didn't know her then.

It was terrible that it happened, but he had the same level of response that he might to hearing about something that happened in the news. It sucks, but it didn't really touch his life. That was an embarrassing truth about him. Stevie hardly cared about the things that happened to the people outside of his family and few friends. It just seemed exhausting to care about things that one couldn't change, or to try to change things and have that be the death of you. No… Stevie reserved his concern for the people closest to him, to those important to him. It didn't take Sheila long to be etched onto that short list.

And now… he didn't know what to think. She told him that she trusted him. She said everything to him, but the "L" word. But, she hadn't really come to trust him, had she? For some reason, he thought that when they had sex, after what happened to her; that meant that he was important. She never asked about a condom. They never spoke of the obvious what ifs. She was the only woman that he ever came inside of and it simply was their way. He started to think himself entitled to it. He felt special. Privileged. But, he felt far from it as Jonesy spoke about Dottie and Sheila's past, and especially so when she discussed that Sheila had been having these problems, lately.

Sheila hadn't mentioned a word of it to him. When they talked about Christmas, she was excited to spend Christmas together. She said that she had a surprise for him and that she could hardly wait to see him. Stevie sighed and leaned back, resting his head against the wall inside of the jail, as he waited. _Why are you being so fucking selfish? This is why nobody loves you… You're a selfish asshole. _

He shut his eyes. His Honeybee was inside of a jail cell, drunk and likely confused, ridden with guilt over a girl whose death she couldn't prevent and he was pouting that she didn't tell him all of her painful burdens. Maybe he didn't need a girlfriend. Maybe everyone was right – that he wasn't cut out for it, that he was too self-absorbed. But then again, who else was willing to wait all night in a place like this, just so Sheila could see a familiar face upon being let go? _Now, you're being arrogant. _Stevie got up. He needed to get some air.

Sheila awoke in the middle of the night and whispered, "What the hell?" She looked around her at the other women, some sleep, some pacing, some just awake and flustered, and some drunk. She got up from her seat on the floor and ran a hand through her hair… _Sonofabitch! _

_ She had been at Dottie's grave for hours, drinking when that dude came up to her and tried to make her leave. Something about it's Christmas Eve and if families came to visit their loved ones and some drunk was there it violating, blah blah blah… Well, she wasn't about to leave just because some dude said so and she cussed him and poured some wine out for Dottie. Who did that guy think that he was? She had no idea that he was the groundskeeper, and that he called the cops. Now, by the time the cops got there, that much was a complete blur._

"Shit!" She hissed and her head spun. She shouldn't have drank so much. She shouldn't have drank, at all. Generally, she had a glass of red wine a day. Tonight, she had maybe 2 bottles and a couple of shots of whatever it was that Shadonza left over at her house after the little get together they'd had once she was without child and able to drink again. Sheila was no drinker.

She waited until she was 21 to drink for the first time, and didn't even get drunk that night, because all of her already 21 year old friends and those who weren't, but drank anyway did so, before she could even get a buzz. And there was no way that she wasn't having a designated driver, so she watched everyone else do it and didn't envy them, at all.

The first time that she got drunk, she passed out and woke up in a van with some guys that looked like the band from Jennifer's Body and one of her friend's cousins that she had only just met the night before. She swore that she would never get drunk again, but the frat party was full of drinks and people kept handing them over to her. She wasn't as drunk as she had been that first time, but she wasn't exactly sober when she rushed off with Hunter Carrington… her stomach started to turn thinking about him. That eager and anxious way he groped and practically mauled her… and then his friends, Josh Coleman and Rick Nelson. She screamed and grabbed her hair. Then, they did the same thing to Dottie. Sheila settled on the floor and rested her head on her knees. The room was spinning, she was burning up, and Dottie was in the ground, this Christmas.

By Christmas morning, Sheila came out of the cell with some of the other women and started when she heard, "Honeybee," hoarsely called. She turned and took one look at Stevie, red eyes with dark circles underneath them… he'd slept here. She shook her head, bit her lip and started crying. Stevie approached her slowly, but quickly wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair, "It's okay, Honeybee. I'm here for you…"

"I'm sorry. I don't know… Last night, I just caved. It's like… I didn't really react at the time. I started getting my shit together, ready to fight 'em when I got what seemed like a better deal. I've struggled more with what happened to _her_ than what happened to _me _and last night, I don't know…"

"Sheila," he said, cupping her face as she cried, hysterically. "I'm never going to understand what you went through, but I _can _understand knowing somebody who went through something and not being able to help them. I understand that perfectly. You can't change what happened with her, and she's now beyond your help. But you're still here, Honeybee and I'll be damned if I let you fall apart. You've come too far to give up on yourself. I brought your car home last night. My car's outside. You ready to go home?" She nodded and squeezed his hand. He gave her a smile and pulled her along, gently to his vehicle.

Stevie had driven to the graveyard and found Dottie's grave… The police had simply left all of Sheila's things there, and he supposed that Carmen was so concerned about Sheila being in jail that she didn't think to get it, either. Stevie began collecting the items and noticed her keys were there too. "Jesus!" He whispered and grabbed them. He paused when he saw a framed photo of a light skinned black woman with long hair and a little gap between her teeth. She was pretty. He guessed that was Dottie. _Dottie Westerton, _he read the gravestone, before leaving, in Sheila's car with her stuff.

When he got to her place, he put everything inside and locked the door, pocketing her set of keys, and walked back to the cemetery. He supposed that he could have called a cab, but there was something peaceful about the numbing that the cold was sending through him. It took the focus off of the pain in his chest. The nagging pain that maybe she didn't feel the same way about him that he thought… He hated that feeling. He never wanted that between them. When he got back to his car, he got inside and thawed off… and cried for a couple of seconds. No longer than three minutes. Evans men simply didn't do that, he wasn't going to do it over a woman who didn't even trust him… Stevie sighed and began driving back to the jail. He wasn't going to disregard her just because she couldn't find comfort in him. He wasn't even sure if he could, if he tried. It terrified him, to feel this strongly about somebody. At least he didn't have to admit it.

When she came out, she looked like a zombie. Her hair was disheveled, her face was shiny with the oil of her skin and she was walking stiffly. She was shocked to see him. She looked sorry. She didn't have anything to be sorry about. It wasn't her fault. If it were anyone else, Stevie would be quick to judge. He would presume that they should have been wiser, more logical, and reasonable. But not with her. It wasn't her fault…

Sheila arose, sometime in the afternoon. Stevie was still asleep. She climbed out of bed and checked her phone to see all of the messages from last night and this morning. Shadonza and Cameo simply sent Christmas blessings, so they obviously didn't know about her stunt the previous night. Jonesy… she sent more messages than a little bit, so she was the first that Sheila called, "Hey, Jonesy. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. How are you feeling?" She asked, concerned.

"Like a dumbass," Sheila said. "I didn't mean to make everybody worry. Imagine my damn surprise when Stevie was at the jailhouse, waiting for me."

"So he did end up there? And… is everything alright with you two?" Jonesy asked.

"Not particularly. We both soaked in the tub for a while when we got here, washed up and got some rest. He washed my hair and oiled my scalp for me, tied my head up and had me cradled on his lap afterwards, until I fell to sleep. I woke up a few minutes ago in the bed, he's still there, sleeping," Sheila replied.

"That sounds really sweet, Sheila," Jonesy commented, impressed and proud of her little brother for taking care of her friend.

"Yeah, but he wasn't talking. I couldn't tell what he was thinking and when I looked at him, something was different. He seemed… shut off to me," she said, in a small, sad voice.

"That's Stevie, though," Jonesy said. He's shut off to everyone."

"He hadn't been, in the past. I've possibly fucked things up between us with this. It's like a flicked a damn switch or something. I… I really don't like it."

"Are you going to make it to my mom's this evening?" Jonesy asked.

"Girl, yes. Now, I need to call Carmen and Grace and get up to start getting ready." She looked over at Stevie, still asleep. "I'll just let Stevie continue to rest for a little while, but we'll be there."

The joy that overcame Jonesy's face when she saw Stevie and Sheila on the other side of her mother's door after opening it was undeniable. She smiled and hugged Sheila tightly, then looked at Stevie, tilted her head at him questioningly and reached out tentatively for a hug, which he snatched her up into and lifted her off of the ground. "I see my family is here," Stevie commented, nudging his head at the dusty old truck that looked completely out of place on these premises. He chuckled at it and Jonesy had them come inside.

"Look who's here!" She called out and Mary and Dwight came to give their son a hug. Stacey sauntered up and punched him in the arm, to which he simply rolled his eyes at her. Soon, he was in this really mellow and comfortable groove with them and Sheila was sort of… just there.

"Every time I look at this girl, I want to go slap the hell out of Godfrey," Maryvonne said, looking right at Sheila. "Merry Christmas, Sheila."

"Merry Christmas, Miss Maryvonne," Sheila said, with a chuckle. Godfrey was simply shaking his head at his wife's comment as he assembled something for Ra.

"Let me just tell you one thing, right here and right now. If you even look like the thought of sex is passing through your mind in my house, I'll have you skinned and stuffed," Maryvonne said, then smiled brightly and picked up a tray, "Try the shrimp brochette, Dear." Sheila blushed at Maryvonne's mention of the sex thing as she reached for the prawn wrapped in bacon and cheese and pepper.

"She was on the phone, at the time," Jonesy explained to Sheila.

"Everything alright with you and Sheila?" Sheila heard Dwight ask Stevie, even though he was speaking quietly and other people in the room were speaking.

"I don't even want to talk about that," she heard him reply and she sighed, taking a bite of the appetizer.

"Good stuff, Miss Maryvonne," she said with damp eyes, cleared her throat and asked, "I forgot where your restroom is."

"Mercedes, take her," Maryvonne said, "And I better not hear any sex for the entire duration that you're here."

"Trust me, you won't," Sheila said, shielding her face as the tears threatened to spill out.

Maryvonne gave her a shocked and confused look, perplexed by the presence of her tears as Jonesy rushed her away and everyone else turned to look at them practically fleeing. Stevie rushed to chase, but Sam held out a hand to stop him and shook his head. This only made Stevie feel even more insecure about things between he and Sheila, but he would let Mercedes sort out whatever was up, since apparently, that was who she wanted to share with…

"Did you two ever talk?" Jonesy asked her in the bathroom.

"Nope. I tried to and he brushed it off and told me that it wasn't my fault and not to worry about it. But… I feel like he's upset with me or something. And I can't help it if he don't talk to me." She wiped her eyes.

"Give him some time. I know that we don't think about it when we're going through, but the people that we love sometimes have a hard time with what we're going through, too. Not in the same capacity, but enough that we have to give them a chance to deal, too."

"I like your pinky ring. Is that new?"

"Oh!" Jonesy said and pulled out her phone to show off her Christmas gift," I thought that I had his ass beat, but he's full of tricks." Sheila gasped as she assessed the jewelry. "I can't stand him!" Jonesy belted out.

"It shows in the way that you look at him like he's the only man alive and the glowing that you do and the way that your eyes light up when he makes you laugh. I'd bet every cent that I got that you can't stand that muthafucka," Sheila said and winked at her.

When they came back, they saw two very concerned young Evans men looking at them, questioningly. Jonesy smiled and went to Sam, stopping right in front of him with her chest touching him, making him twitch in his pants. "Why are you being messy?" He asked her.

"Shut up and give me a hug, Sammy-Boy," she told him and he did just that and kiss on the side of the head, for good measure.

Stevie put his hands in his pockets, nervous to touch or even approach Sheila, at the moment. "You good?" He asked her and she nodded… clearly lying, but whatever. He wasn't pushing it. It would only make that sharp pain in his chest elevate. "Okay, then," he told her and went back to sit with his parents, where she followed him and sat down, latching on to his arm as she did.

Godfrey sat at one end of the table and Dwight at the other and they all joined hands to say grace, except for Maryvonne, as she had Ra on her lap and was keeping her in place so that her Christmas excitement wouldn't violate the time of thanks. When they all said amen, she let the child go play with her toys again. "I don't think that we've ever bought that many toys between our three kids as she has just here," Mary commented, looking at Ra make the tough choices of which thing to play with and which thing to abandon.

"You think that's bad – you should see how she is with Babycakes, who is not even here yet," Sam said. "I swear, it's like she chose the most complicated stuff to put together for that nursery."

"I chose the best of what Mercedes wanted for her little girl. She gave me the design and I only purchased the merchandise. Blame your fiancée for that," Ryvie said.

Mercedes nearly choked on her drink when her mother said the "F" word. Sam smirked and stroked her hand, as he replied, "Ryvie, you know how your daughter feels about all that marriage nonsense." He winked at Mercedes and she shook her head, mouthing 'unbelievable.'

"I also know that you went through her rings to get one sized for her and she's wearing it on her pinky because it won't fit on her ring finger," Ryvie said.

"What kind of secret agent man ARE YOU?" Mercedes asked, placing a hand over her heart.

Sam laughed and said, "She sees something shiny and new on your finger and she was just able to take a guess. But, you did mess up with the engagement talk. We aren't even at that level, yet." Ryvie pursed her lips and held her hand out to Godfrey. He sighed, rolled his eyes and handed her some cash. "I can't stand y'all," Sam said, shaking his head.

"It's Godfrey that wants you to make an honest woman out of the girl. I told him a logn time ago that Mercedes is about as honest as she's gonna get," Ryvie commented.

"I don't know how to take that," Mercedes said, as Sheila snorted.

Ryvie glanced at her now, "And you, young lady. As long as you're in my house an walking around looking just like my daughter, I intend to treat you like one… what happened to you, earlier?"

"Mom, stop," Mercedes said. Sheila looked better and she didn't need her shit getting stirred up… and Maryvonne was not the person to ask anyone about anything, with her naturally abrasive manner.

"Oh, I was feeling bad about some mistakes that I made. I hurt somebody that I really care about and I don't know how that person feels about me right now, so… It's kinda a rough day," Sheila said and took a sip of her juice. Stevie bit his lip and focused extremely hard on his fork.

"I'm sure that this person still loves you. They're probably just too much of a dick to admit it," Stacey said. Stevie threw her a look and she shrugged.

"Not at this table, young lady," Maryvonne said. "You have to be able to pay your own bills and in the process of doing so to use language like that in my home."

"Oh… sorry, Mrs. Jones. I didn't mean to," Stacey said as Stevie chuckled, softly. Sheila appreciated Stacey's words, though. She knew that the girl didn't really care for her, but she also knew that despite all the arguing between them that Stevie and Stacey loved each other a lot and for her to step out and say that, she meant it and Sheila believed that she meant it for good.

"She talking about you?" Maryvonne asked Stevie, putting some chicken in her mouth and chewing as she stared at him, waiting on an answer.

"I have no idea what's going on," Stevie said and raised his glass to the woman.

"You need to have and idea," she commented. "You fuck somebody in your parents' house, with them, your underage sister and another person in the house, you ought to know what's going on with them as much and as often as you can."

"Ryvie!" Godfrey hissed as everyone else looked shocked, uncomfortable, all other kinds of things. Stacey was entertained, to say the least.

"What, Godfrey? You know good and well if Mercedes ever pulled something like that, even in her adult state, even in her pregnant state, even if it was Sam, who you love to fucking death, that we'd have to call the police to get you off of him."

"Dad, you know Mama ain't shi… shame! She'll only behave worse if you try to stop her," Jonesy said, trying not to laugh at this situation, because clearly, Sheila was very uncomfortable.

Sam said, "For the record, I wouldn't do anything like that to y'all. I'm scared of you both and I respect you too much."

"It had nothing to do with my lack of respect," Sheila said, to Sam. He raised an eyebrow at her and she scoffed and shook her head. "Whatever, Man. Merry Christmas." She got up and headed for the door.

"Didn't you drive here?" Stacey whispered to Stevie.

"She's not leaving. She just needs some air," he said and went after her.

Maryvonne commented, "She better not be leaving and waste damn near that entire plate of food."

"Does it pain you to be a hospitable person?" Mary asked her.

"Oh shit," Dwight and Godfrey both said, in unison. Mercedes cut a gesture across her throat to Mare. _Don't do it, Mary. You don't know my mom…_

"Hospitable? No. But, it does bother the hell out of me when people allow their children to do whatever the hell they want and don't teach them about what respectable humanity is."

"And that's who Dwight and I are? People who don't teach our children about being respectable, when we are the ones that spent years mending your daughter after you tore her up for no reason, just like you just did Sheila, when she TOLD you that she was having a bad day!" Mary snapped.

Maryvonne flinched at Mary's words and nodded, "I did mess up with my daughter. I know that and maybe I'm not as _mellow _as you are, Mary Evans, but I love my family just as much, if not more than you do. So don't you pretend that because you spend most of your time becoming one with the fucking earth that you understand everything in the world."

"I think it's YOU who has to always be right. You're always judging. Always preaching, and never giving out love. Even right now, your relationship with Jonesy is you buying her and her baby stuff, because your cold heart has no way of doing anything that she is going to remember with true fondness once you're gone." Maryvonne jumped up from the table and Godfrey quickly rushed to grab her arm.

"What the hell, Godfrey? You think I'm going to attack the woman. I don't have the heart for that. You know I barely got into fights when I was healthy. But, I've grown tired of looking at her whiny ass face."

Maryvonne had creeping tears burning her eyes and Mary covered her own face with both hands and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ryvie. I shouldn't have said those things."

"Stick to your guns, Mary," Ryvie advised. "That cowering stuff is exactly why your kids will never be great."

"Mom!" Mercedes snapped, but Maryvonne was leaving the room.

"Well damn," Dwight said, and rubbed a hand down his face. "Godfrey, I am terribly sorry about all of this."

Godfrey shook his head, "I've been married to her long enough to know that this wasn't actually an attack." He made his way to check on her, but Mercedes stopped him.

"I'm going, Daddy. She needs me right now," she told him, rubbing her belly, already exhausted from all of the damage control she seemed to be doing today. She found Maryvonne in her gazebo, with her oxygen, and a baby book. "Mom, you know that isn't true, right? Maybe it's what she thinks, but you KNOW that what we've been building is more than you throwing money at my needs and me happily snatching it up, right?"

Maryvonne chuckled and said, "One of the last people on earth who will be able to make me feel bad about myself is Mary fucking pothead Evans."

"But, she did hurt you, Mom and you aren't less of a woman if you admit that," Mercedes said as she sat down.

"She didn't hurt me. The memories of the times that I could have chosen to handle things better and didn't hurt me. I don't take back anything that I said to her. I meant every word and she meant every word. That's fine. The problem is that she was right that I wasn't a good mother… but then again, I think that I'm right that she isn't a good one."

"She's a good mother, she's just a different type of mother than you are. I'll be a different type than both of you and I think that we'll all be good mothers. It's not a competition."

"It is when she proceeds to tell me how much better she was to you than I ever was," Maryvonne said and wiped a tear, which only pissed her off to even shed. "I wanted to stab that bitch with my fork. This is my house. Who does she think she is?"

Mercedes wrapped an arm around her mom and said, "She was just upset that Sheila got upset, Mom."

"No… she's been holding that in for a while. I saw it in her eyes. Mary's been wanting to tell me all of that, but since we've been working on us and she didn't know me before then, she hasn't had the room to. I gave her a shot and she took it. I kind of admire her gall, now that I think about it."

"Mom," Mercedes whispered, "I know for a fact that nobody will ever love me the way that you have," she grabbed her hand and completed the sentence in her regular tone, "It isn't like other people's and some might even say that it's crazy, but I love you and I _know _that you love me, money aside. Our past is messed up, but I know that it's a burden for you to keep the secrets that you've kept because of things that happened to me. I keep wondering if Finn comes for her if I would even have the guts. If I could even…" Jonesy started crying and Maryvonne held her.

"Mercedes, Finn is not going to come near either of you. Even if you couldn't do anything, you _know _that your mom has you covered," Maryvonne whispered. She lifted her chin with a hand and looked her in the eyes. "He wouldn't make it into your neighborhood before I put his ass down." Mercedes felt like she should be afraid of the look in her mother's light greenish brown eyes when she made that promise, but instead, she was comforted. Ryvie gave her a genuine smile and a soft, small kiss on the lips, like she often did when she was a scared little girl and needed her mommy to make her feel safe. She cleared her throat and asked, "I don't look like I've been crying, do I? Because I don't want Mary to think that Round 2 is going to be easy for her."

"Mom, can't you just leave it?" Mercedes asked.

"Didn't you just tell Godfrey that if you do that, it'll only make it worse? Come on, now. I'm not going to stop until _she _cries, too. It's only fair. This is my house, after all. I need to maintain dominance." Mercedes sighed as she stood up and helped her mother to stand, too. She collected the book and they headed back inside. Everyone was quiet when they walked in and Mercedes had to admit that Maryvonne looked flawlessly unphased as she set the book down next to Mary's plate and said, "Just in case you want to see proof of my terrible mothering skills."

"Proof of the do what?" Sheila asked, coming back to the table with Stevie, hand in hand.

Sam shook his head and said, "This is some shit, this Christmas, that's the do what," he said quietly.

"Sam!" Ryvie snapped.

"But, I do pay my own bills, Ryvie!" He said.

"Yeah, but you kiss my daughter with that mouth, so I don't want to hear it," she said, smirking at him. Sam laughed.

Dwight said, "So, Ryvie… sorry about the whole, all of what happened a little while ago."

"What happened?" Stevie asked.

"Mary tried to snatch my wig, and didn't realize that this shit is all natural," Maryvonne said. Godfrey groaned and she simply smiled.

"I was out of line," Mary said. "And I apologized to you, and Jonesy, I apologize, to you, as well. I shouldn't have said such things about your mother, whether or not I feel that way."

Jonesy shrugged and said, "As you can see Maryvonne Jones is capable of taking care of herself. I'm not in this." She leaned to Sheila and whispered, "You two okay?"

Sheila smiled brightly and whispered in her ear, "He told me he loves me…" Mercedes squealed and began to kick her feet around and she and Sheila slapped at each other's fingers with their hands, giggling.

Sam leaned in to Stevie and said, "Look at our girls…"

Stevie caught Sheila's eye and smiled at her. "I can't even stop," he told Sam.

"What are they over there gushin' about?" Sam asked.

"The 'L' word," he said and looked at Sam, "It came out." Sam squeezed his shoulder. "I'm done for, aren't I?" Stevie asked.

"I think she had you at hello," Sam said and gave him a playful shove.

"I think that Christmas is actually going pretty well, for us. It's better than I expected," Mary said.

Maryvonne smiled at her, "What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. Pandemonium?" Mary said.

"Hmph, not in this house. That would have to be taken outside," Godfrey joked. "You know how much money I spent on this place?"

"Godfrey had the house built for Maryvonne after he became a dentist. He brought the land surrounding their old house and had this one built, just like she wanted… before he became the renowned dentist that he is today," Sam said.

"That's mighty nice. I wanted to be able to do stuff like that for Mary. Didn't quite make the best decisions in my younger years and so I didn't get around to the whole college and career thing…" Dwight said.

"You did a damn good job with what you had, though. Honestly, out of anybody that our daughter has ever been interested in, Sam is by far the best of them."

"Azimio," Maryvonne reminded him, then quickly told Sam, "I'm not saying anything against you, but Azimio is my boy."

"Mom, when did you EVER like Azimio?" Mercedes asked.

Maryvonne widened her eyes and she shook her head, "I love Azimio, Mercedes. I'm surprised that he has fessed up to it, since you and I are now on speaking terms."

"He's your mole! That motherfucker!" Mercedes got up from the table, snatching her phone.

"If one more person jumps up and leaves this table!" Godfrey complained. "You couldn't wait to say that, Ryvie?" He asked her.

"Not everything that goes wrong is my fault, Godfrey. You're the one that brought him in and I'm not discussing this in front of all these people."

"You've been talking to my mom!" Mercedes fussed.

"Merry Christmas!" Azimio cheered. "Dave-O! Jonesy's on the line."

"Hey, Jonesy!" She heard Dave yell from the back.

"That's how she knew stuff about me when we weren't talking. Why didn't you tell me this?" Mercedes asked.

"The woman missed her daughter. She knew she made mistakes and she didn't know how to fix them. You didn't want to work nothing out and if I would have told you that she did, you probably would've cut me off, too. It was best for everybody."

"Did she pay you?" she asked.

"Well, yeah. Mrs. Jones does stuff like that. She's willing to pay for what she wants and it helped me to go to college and to start up the business. It wasn't hurting you and it helped her to feel better about things. You two are doing well, now – so I don't see why you're tripping."

"I'm not tripping, but damn…"

"You are tripping and you know that you've done some secretive shit, as well, so don't bring it to tripping levels. You know I love you and you now know that I love your mom and there's nothing wrong with the fact that I kept it from you when you couldn't or wouldn't handle it well."

"How is my baby?" She heard Dave ask from the background.

"She's fine. She's tripping balls because today has been an emotional rollercoaster. I'm having some pains," Mercedes admitted. Azimio repeated the report to Dave, then the phone was snatched.

"You need anything? What kind of pains?" He asked.

"It's fine. Typical pains, Dave-O," she said. "You knew too, huh?"

"She kinda was gonna finance that whole pretending that your baby was my baby detail… but, now we won't have to do it because of the other plan that she set in…" he paused and she could hear a bit of shuffling. Azimio was silencing him.

"What other plan, Dave?" She asked.

"Here's Azimio, bye, I love you!" Dave said and passed the phone back.

"Hey, Girl," Azimio said.

"Azimio… you better talk!" She said.

"WHAT?" Everyone heard Mercedes scream from the other room, on her phone and Sam looked at Godfrey and Maryvonne. Godfrey sighed and shook his head like there was impending doom approaching and Maryvonne simply glanced at the doorway, waiting for her to storm in, which she did. "A deal, Mom? You… went for a DEAL?"

"You don't know the details and you know how I am, so don't start with me. Have a seat and cool off, before you upset the baby," Maryvonne said.

Now, Godfrey spoke up, "You don't need to talk to her like that. She has every right to know what's going on, Ryvie."

"Godfrey, you have no idea what you're talking about. Contrary to popular belief, I know my daughter, right now and she can't handle this and shouldn't have to. Sit down, Mercedes. Enjoy Christmas," Maryvonne said. Mercedes glared at her and went to sit down. "Let's try to start all of this over, shall we? I'm glad to have everyone here and I hope that this Christmas will be a memorable and a first of many, as we are two families that will eventually be joined as one and definitely going to both be a part of my granddaughter's life. We'll have to make it all work."

"Thanks for having us, Maryvonne. We appreciate it," Dwight said. Everyone else was pretty much quiet. Mercedes was seething and Sam kept rubbing the back of her hand, wanting her to calm down. He didn't want her blood pressure to spike, as it had done a few times, but he had to admit that he was concerned about this "deal" that Mercedes was livid about. _Merry Fucking Christmas… _he sighed and kissed the back of her hand and was rewarded with a smile. Banter eventually started up around them. Maryvonne looked exhausted, so she was quiet most of the rest of the time, which made things more peaceful. Mercedes wasn't saying anything. Stacey was watching her, with concern, but faking smiles every time that she was caught.

Mary, Dwight and Godfrey had a compliments tournament on their good parenting points and how Jonesy and Sam turned out (and their future mutual grandchild). Mercedes rested her head on Sam and whispered, "I don't feel good. I need to go home."

"K, Babe." He made the announcement to everyone and Maryvonne got up, to walk them out.

"Should… we stay?" Stacey asked, uncomfortably.

"Well, for a bit. We have to get used to the Joneses," Dwight said and smiled at his baby girl. She nodded, but he could tell she was not liking this. "You can see if you can go with Sammy and Jonesy."

"Yeah, I'll do that," she said, getting up and rushing out.

"This shit was HIGHLY dysfunctional," Stevie said, getting a bit of laughter out of everyone left at the table.

"Mercedes, don't storm away," Maryvonne commanded.

"Mom, I don't feel like dealing with this, alright? We'll talk later!" She snapped.

Maryvonne grabbed her hand and told her, "I meant what I said earlier, you realize that, still, right?"

"Yes." She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "I know, Mom. I just… that woman wants to take my baby, out of spite – not even to love her. How could you offer her money?"

"Because that was all that she would respond to, short of offering her son freedom," Ryvie said.

"Wait, what?" Sam asked.

"Trust me, Mercedes, I've been doing things like this a long time and you won't have to worry about her or him and Jazz won't either." She gave her a hug, as Stacey came out of the house. "Let's get together tomorrow, just me and you, okay?" Maryvonne offered and cupped Jonesy's face for a kiss. She turned and told Sam, "Take care of her."

"I always do," he reminded her. When they got into the truck, with Stacey behind Jonesy's seat, Sam took Jonesy's hand and she leaned back to take a nap. She could hardly wait until this baby was born, because the stress was killing her and making her even more stressed, because she worried about what it was doing to the baby. "Just calm down," Sam said as her hands began to shake.

"Sorry. I think I'll feel better after a nap," she told him.


	27. Chapter 27

_Shout out to zeejack for the song suggestion I'm Yours by The Script_

**Don't Make Me Over 27**

Mercedes got ready for the New Year's Eve party at Tina's place. She had to do Tina's makeup for the show, anyway and she needed a bit of time before her upcoming party to spend with TC, one on one. Tina had a few costumes on hangars that she was bringing to the party with her, because apparently, she was going to have to change, twice. There was no way Jonesy was changing a damn thing. It had been a task enough to get herself into her little black party dress, even with Kurt's alterations to it. She simply kept getting bigger and alterations sometimes lasted a very short amount of time.

She was wearing leopard print accessories, heart shaped jewelry and hints of pink. She felt punky and cute, but also sassy and fierce. She felt elevated and it was great to be around friends and have a good time with them, again. That had not happened often, in a while. Well, it did with her group therapy friends and with her gay friends, and even with just Rachel, Kurt and Jesse… But, these guys – who she once spent nearly every weekend and much of the week surrounding by and spending time with had become distant. Being with them brought back a lot of good memories… but some bad ones, as well.

When they entered the party building, the guys were already on stage, but Jones noticed Nick, in the corner of the room with his pet and a couple of other women that she could tell were his subs, too. He caught her eye, smiled widely and gave her a nod and she nodded right back, with her insides going crazy. "Oh no you don't!" Tina fussed, pulled her by the hand and dragged her away. "Sam would kill me if I even let you go near that creep!"

"Sam and Nick are actually cooler than Sam and any of the other guys that I've been with," Jonesy commented. "Anyway, Nick's not worried about me and I'm not thinking about him. I'm done with that life. It wasn't for me, anyway."

"You know I can't stand his ass, though," Tina reminded her. Jonesy laughed at that understatement. When she and Nick were together, Tina looked physically ill every time he came around, always giving him the stink eye and she worried about Jonesy a lot, thinking that he was abusive, because she wasn't that savvy with the nature of their D/S relationship. At any rate, aside from that, she just thought that he was a prick. Jonesy noticed that she harbored some of the same feelings towards Stevie. Tina didn't care so much for seeing women be controlled by men. Even if it was their choice and something that they enjoyed, she saw the man's influence as their inspiration for such thoughts.

"I heard that your new drummer is excellent," Jonesy commented.

"Yeah, and I'm still mad that you've yet to hear her play. And if you get sick and leave tonight, I'll be totally offended," Tina said.

"How you gonna get offended that I got sick?" Jonesy asked.

"I'm gonna think that Babycakes has something against me. She always makes you sick when I want some Jonesy time," Tina complained.

"Oh, she's been making me sick like all the time, lately," Jonesy commented, adjusting her scarf.

"Everything cool?" Tina wondered.

"Doctor just keeps telling me to take it easy here and there. Apparently being pregnant has made me have high blood pressure issues… something that never bothered me before, but obviously is gonna be a problem while I'm with child. That's why Sammy Boy is constantly making a fuss over me being calm and chilling out and all that."

"I can't fucking wait to see his ass during the delivery," Tina said, laughing.

!

Sam wore some of the things that Mercedes had put in his vault for Christmas to the show. He was already pretty hardcore during shows, but he wanted a certain look for quite a while and she had now made that possible, for him. The corset, the boots, and the gauntlet would go great with his leather pants that he wore, pretty frequently during performances. And that trench coat that she had gotten him? He was in love with the thing, even though he knew he wouldn't last all night in it, because of heat and sweat.

Shucks on a Shingle was doing covers and requests tonight, but certain members had a dedication or two to do and he hoped that Mercedes would enjoy hers. She hadn't been sleeping well, thinking about her upcoming milestone – telling the rest of her close friends the truth about what happened. He kinda hated that she felt like she had to do it, but he knew that if she felt like she had to, trying to keep her off of it would just stress her even more. He had to consider what was best for her and for the baby.

Sometimes, it amazed him that a few short months ago, Babycakes was a something that Finn had violently added to Jonesy's life. Now, she was… well – for one, she was an actual person and on top of that, one that Sam already was pretty concerned about. He checked his guitar, while Artie hyped himself up, in the chair. Artie was actually kind of bugging about a couple of the covers… which was weird, because Artie generally didn't worry about anything. "Arts… is there going to be somebody here tonight or something? You seem pretty high-strung."

Artie twirled around in his chair and looked at Sam, "High-strung is an exaggeration. We are covering some legends, tonight. A few of them idols of mine. I don't want to cheapen their work."

"I'm sure that even if we screw up royally, none of them will ever know about it," Sam tried to reassure him.

"Prince is omniscient," Artie said.

"SHHHHHHH!" Sam hissed waving both hands at him and looking around, "Tina doesn't want us saying his name, so that it doesn't spoil her surprise. I'm not about to have her fighting me behind your loose lips…"

"What is this talk about Artie's lips? Should I be worried?" Jonesy asked as she made her way to the stage and Sam rushed to help her up the steps.

"Only if he starts to serenade me. You know the effect that Artie's voice can have on somebody," Sam joked, then looked her over. "Mmm… you look…"

"Leopardy?" She attempted to finish the statement.

"Uh.. that sounds scary, but interesting… Like Jeopardy, but for leopards…" Artie commented.

"Draw me a sketch of that, with plenty of rawr/roar jokes!" Jonesy ordered Sam.

"Yes, Ma'am!" He said and kissed her on the nose. "How are you feeling?" He asked, hands automatically going to cradle her womb, when he did. Someone passed by them and snapped a photograph of them. He in all of his hardcore attire, gently checking on her womb, while she stood in her punk girl outfit. "I want a copy of that!" He calle out to whoever it was and they nodded. Jonesy simply smiled and ran her fingers over his gauntlets. "You look like all is alright."

"Yeah, I'm good. I have some mixed emotions. A lot of memories here…" She said and had a brief flashback of her and Finn going at it in the DJ booth of the place, while everyone was wondering where he was, because his drum set was abandoned next to one of the couches and the rest were loading their stuff up for the night. She touched her bump and winced in pain. What she and Finn had was special to her at the time and he'd managed to turn it all into memories of someone that she hated, but would always have a connection with. "I'll be fine. What songs are you all playing tonight?"

"You'll see!" Artie commented and when they looked at him, he looked at Sam, zipped his lips and threw the zipper away; then pointed back and forth between the two of them.

"Tina doesn't want us discussing the songs, because she wants this show to blow everyone's mind spoiler-free," Sam said.

"Fair enough," Jonesy said and gave him a good luck kiss, before going out into where people were mingling, to catch up with old acquaintances and wait on newer ones.

Sheila, Shadonza and Cameo were meeting her there, even though it wasn't really any of their scenes. She sort of wanted some of her new friends and old friends to meet and greet before the big news party that she had coming up. They all came in together, all jazzy as hell, all seemingly ready to party proper, especially Shadonza. Shad had been partying since she had and gave away her baby. Some part of Jonesy thought that she was probably sad that she had to make such a decision, but she knew it was the best for herself and the baby, as well.

Cameo looked around and wondered, "How long has this place been here? I felt like I was sneaking into a speakeasy or something, coming in here." They laughed and Jonesy and Sheila proceeded to introduce them to all the members of the band and Shadonza checked Puck out, rewarding her with a wink from him. She pressed her lips together, glanced at Quinn and rolled her eyes at him, as she dragged Sheila to take her to the bar. Cameo and Jonesy watched them go. "Shad's ex has been trying to track her down, so she might be in rare form tonight," Cameo told Jonesy.

"I can't say shit about it. My… attacker contacts me every now and then and it ruins my entire week," Jonesy said.

When the show started, Jonesy was excited about how many of her new friends were into the scene. None of them really listened to this type of music, except for Sheila, occasionally. But all of them were rocking out together and Mercedes was delighted that they had the chance to enter into the New Year together. Her life was still ever-changing, but most of the change felt so damn good.

Tina disappeared from the stage, Jonesy guessed to change her clothes, and while she was gone, Sam approached the microphone and said, "We're havin' somethin' like an interlude. But, it's not really, because – hell, I'm still up here. But, y'all will probably throw tomatoes and shit at me, because I'm gonna dedicate this song to my babymama, and it ain't exactly hard rock and it ain't a classic cover."

"You betta sang, BOY!" Shadonza yelled from the crowd. Everyone else just cheered him on and he laughed, a twinkle in his eyes as he looked at a still shocked Jonesy.

"So, Mercedes Jones, you wanna come around this stage, so I can sing you a little song?" He asked. Her friends practically shoved her to the stage. When she reached it, Sam set his guitar down to help her up there and placed his trench coat off stage. He grabbed his acoustic and set two stools for them, with a smile her way. She took a deep breath and sat down. When Sam began to play the chords, she didn't recognize the song and even when he started singing, she realized she wasn't familiar with it, but that just made her listen harder to the lyrics:

_You've touched these tired eyes of mine  
And mapped my face line by line  
And somehow growing old feels fine  
I listen close for I'm not smart  
You wrap your thoughts and works of art  
And there hanging on the walls of my heart._

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours.

And though my edge is maybe rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
And it may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours.

You healed these scars over time  
And braced my soul, you loved my mind  
Your the only angel in my life  
The day the news came, my best friend died  
My knees went weak, and you saw me cry  
Say I'm still the soldier in your eyes.

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I may not look like much  
I'm yours.

And though my edge is maybe rough  
I never feel I'm quite enough  
And it may not seem like very much  
But I'm yours.

I may not have the softest touch  
I may not say the words as such  
And though I don't fit in that much  
But I'm yours.

By the end, there were tears all over the place, particularly from her friends as she managed to choke out, "Oh my God!" Before kissing him passionately, in front of everyone. "I love you, Sam. I'm yours, too. I'm yours. You're my heart."

Sam kissed her back and didn't want to stop, but decided to help her back to her friends and thank the crowd as the band was returning and he traded his acoustic for his electric. Artie came rolling back out onto the stage as the lights went out and purple lights around the stage came on and he began to sing, "Never meant to cause you any problems…" Jonesy screamed like a fangirl when she heard them playing Purple Rain. Sheila gave her a bit of sideeye for her reaction, then laughed as Jonesy and Shadonza sang along, though Artie sounded fantastic! It was the best cover they had done all night, in her opinion.

Cameo commented, "If that man gets up out of that chair, I'll be slain in the spirit…" Sheila snorted. Artie was so into the song that he honestly looked like he was going to break out into praise at any moment. He moved around well in that chair, though. By the time they got to the end of the song, Tina came out of the shadows, as the lights came back, somewhat, dressed just like Prince in the last scene of Purple Rain, holding her bass and smiling. Jonesy screamed again.

Tina approached the microphone and announced, "I wanted to sing that, but Artie fought my ass on it, which makes sense, because he just killed that shit." She took off the coat and tossed it over his shoulders, "The king of Prince covers, ladies and gentlemen, Artie Abrams!" They cheered. She smiled and said, "When I met this guy that this next song is dedicated to, I was introduced to him by my homegirl, Jonesy."

She pointed at Mercedes and continued, "And when she was listing why I should meet him, her reasons were "He's fine, he can dance, he's sexy, and he like Purple Rain." Jonesy exploded into laughter. "Then I saw that movie and I looked at both their asses sideways. But, aside from that, today, tonight, I love that guy. Special thanks to my girl Jonesy for helping me to get my man, Mike. This is for you baby," she said, handing her bass off to another player as the music started and she went into her performance – which she had studied the scene of the movie diligently to recreate.

"I'm not a woman. I'm not a man. I am something that you'll never understand. I'll never beat you. I'll never lie. And if you're evil, I'll forgive you by and by…" Jonesy's little circle sung and danced along and Tina killed the recreation of that scene. She even sounded wonderful, in her own way, covering Prince. It was a great night. Jonesy and Sheila about died laughing when she did that very last dance all around the stage that he did in the movie. Then, she started ad-libbing, which was hilarious.

Sheila asked, "Wait, isn't this Prince?"

Shadonza glared at her and said, "Bitch, our friendship is over if you really asked that."

Sheila chortled, "Naw, but, why is she Michael Jacksoning, right now?" She pointed to Tina and they all laughed as she returned to Prince dancing and turned around to stare at the audience, just like the last frame of the movie. "Now, she's Zoolander?" Sheila asked.

"Shut yo ass, Sheila. Just, shut all the way up," Shadonza fussed, covering Sheila's mouth as they watched Mike fanboy at the edge of the stage and Tina crawl over to him to kiss him before the band led them into the New Year.

!

Sleeping out and fooling around was nice for a couple of days, as Unique was still out on her winter trip. Jonesy loved that girl's hustle. She ALWAYS had some fine young gentleman spoiling her, and with the show getting RuPaul's attention, she now often got free stuff because the merchants wanted space in her credits. It was wonderful, as it helped Jonesy to get some of the stuff she'd gotten for Sam, but it was a great look into what their futures could be if things went well and it gave her motivation to be and do her best at everything that she was helping out with.

When she finally came into the studio, Kurt and Blaine were arguing and she bypassed them, to find her employer, who had several women and men lined up, in a large crowd as she was looking over her paperwork, with her laptop open. Jonesy came in and quietly told her, "I'll be at the station," and gave her a hug, from behind.

"Girl, have a seat, right here," Unique said. Jonesy glanced at the contestants, then sat down, as Unique waved Gavroche over. He rolled his eyes and moved, but Jonesy felt so good, she didn't even care. "Look at the list that I composed," Unique showed her the computer file.

"Good list." Jonesy said, nodding, with a smile.

Unique stood up and held out a hand for Gavroche to hand her a list. "It was very hard for us to slim this thing down. We appreciated every single one of you and we appreciate each individual declaration of beauty that each of you has made with your presence. I am going to read names off of this list, and if you do not hear your name, will escort you to the exit with a consolation prize. It had nothing to do with you not being good enough, we simply had to make choices and we wish everyone who was not chosen for this nothing but the best."

Unique began to read off names and for a few of them, Jonesy actually got pretty excited, "Lauren Zizes, Shannon Beiste, Tanisha Puckerman, De'Wanda Umber, Becky Jackson, Chandler Keihl, Sandy Ryerson…" Jonesy smiled at the individual reactions to hearing their names. When the others were cleared out, they were looking at 24 contestants and all of them looked excited and honored to be there.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The world will always try to tell you what beauty is, but don't you ever let them define beauty for you or dictate their standards into your existence. Reaching within yourself to find your beauty and showing it to the world is the main point of all of this that I'm doing here. I feel like thus far, every contestant has done exactly that. We can hardly wait to see more of it and we can hardly wait to see which of you goes above and beyond and shines that beauty bright like a diamond!" Jeremiah went through the process of handling all of their paperwork, while Unique and Gavroche went into the plans for the premiere.

Jonesy took face shots of each of the contestants and held small talk with them, as she did. "So, you don't want to transition, but you are gay and you do love to dress as a woman," she said to Sandy Ryerson. "Interesting. There are so many layers to sexuality and gender roles that there's bound to be every anomaly known out there. You are an anomaly. A good one. I like the way that you rock both looks. Your male-centric photos and your drag photos are impressive. I remember them."

She studied Shannon's tattoos and told her, "I used to do tats. These are pretty good, here. I would love to be able to add to your canvass, if you decide to get another one." The woman was virtually covered in ink and Jonesy LOVED it! The tattoos told the story of her life and Jonesy wished she could read each one.

When she spoke with DeWanda, she asked, "What do you think of Auriga Suicide?" She gloated when the woman told her that the Suicide Girl inspired her to go into modeling. She would brag to Kurt later… though she did wonder what he and Blaine were arguing about, earlier. After the contestants had cleared out, she went to find her friend and found him, seated alone, tapping an ink pen against his cheek as he stared at one of his design books. "Kurt?" he turned to look at her and brightened up.

"Why, hello, Lovely. I didn't think that you would have a moment of freedom today. Are you heading out?" he wondered.

"Yes… are you?" she asked, with a concerned look.

"I might as well," he said and rolled his eyes at something. She glanced at Sebastian.

"Did I miss something?" She asked.

"Just the drama," he said. "It's not worth talking about. Blaine and I had a little spat in front of outsiders and one of them is really a fucking asshole that always has snide comments. That fucker wants Blaine, I know he does."

"Sebastian is Unique's toy… I'm positive that Blaine doesn't want him."

"I didn't say Blaine wanted him. I said that he wanted Blaine," Kurt said.

"Then why are you and Blaine arguing?" She wondered.

"Because he ate the wrong avocados and cucumbers this morning. He ate the ones that are specifically selected for my skin care," Kurt said.

"What?" She shrieked out a laugh.

"You presumed that my argument with Blaine was what I was mad about. It wasn't. Toy fuck Sebby's two cents is what set me off," Kurt said. "I'm sure that you could easily find someone who would let you eat whatever you want.' Fucking slutbag. Like Blaine would ever eat anything he has."

"You do realize that Sebastian is probably eating this up, that you're still so pissed?"

"Yeah, and that just makes me more pissed," Kurt complained.

"The struggle," Jonesy mused.

!

Sheila lied down, staring blankly at the hospital walls until she saw Stevie come into the room, stressed out, beyond belief. "Honeybee," he said. She gave him a small, sad smile and he rushed to her and gave her a hug. "How do you feel?"

"Terrible," she said and burst into tears on his shoulder. "I couldn't get him off of her. I tried so hard. Like…. Why the fuck can't I ever help save anyone?"

Stevie leaned back and cupped her face, "You tried. That was brave and not very smart, but you saw him hurting her and you tried to help. I'm sorry about your friend, but I know one thing… If I get my hands on him, I'm going to fuck him up, for hurting you."

She sniffled and shook her head, "Have you told Jonesy?"

"No. I came out here as soon as I could and I haven't spoken to anyone," he looked at the bruises on the side of her head and had to swallow down his anger. "We'll tell her, when you're out."

"I don't want to ruin her announcement, but we were supposed to be there, together and now, we aren't…" She covered her face and Stevie held her close, again. "He wouldn't stop hitting her! I'll never be able to erase that image from my head!"

"I know, Baby. I know," Stevie said. "I'm so sorry. You didn't need any more shit on your plate," he said, kissing her, softly.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want to be closer to you. Is that okay?" She wondered.

"Of course, Baby… I don't want to get a call like this about you and have to drive three hours to get to you," he admitted.

"We don't have to get a place together. I just want to get away from this place, right now. It's too much for me to handle."

"Okay, Babe. Okay." He kissed the clear side of her head and caressed her. When she was asleep, he called Sam to let him know. He didn't know about telling Jonesy what had happened tonight. Sam wanted it to just go away. In a couple of days, Jonesy was having her big announcement and she didn't need any outside stressors. Little did he know, some things are just out of everyone's control…


	28. Chapter 28

_Trigger warnings: Violent flashback, murder and miscarriage scare_

_I accidentally set myself into a deep depression when writing this chapter, and that's why I took so long to post it. Please, if ANY of the things listed have affected your life or the life of a loved one, read with caution. This story's aim is not depression, but overcoming… But, we all know that sometimes, everything doesn't turn out right for the people we care about, even if things go well for us. I actually had to take some things out because I literally couldn't keep reading them to edit. So, it's toned down more than what it was. Hopefully I didn't cheapen the seriousness of everything addressed here._

**Don't Make Me Over 28**

Sheila groaned as she tried to cover up her bruises with the makeup. It was not working out, like not even a little, not even at all. She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands. She saw them covered in blood and dropped her makeup bag to wash them, even though they were clean. "Shit!" She hissed. Stevie rushed in and looked and she said, "I'm fine. I just… kind of freaked out a little."

"You really ought to tell Jonesy you can't make it," he said. "You aren't ready to be out and about, Honeybee."

"I have to be there for Jonesy. I have to at least do that much. You don't know how hard it is to actually tell people something like this, especially for someone like Jonesy, whose spent most of her life locking things inside of herself. I'm not going to fail another one of my friends."

Stevie came up behind her, wrapping her waist in his arms and making eye contact with her reflection, "You didn't fail Shad. One of the last memories she had of you was you putting yourself in harm's way to try to help her. A lot of people wouldn't do that, even for a friend or relative, Honeybee." He kissed her on the cheek and she nodded her head, but she still hurt. She hurt, SO bad…

Jonesy remained seated, in her outfit as Kurt, Rachel, Sam and Santana helped to set things up. She and Santana had not really talked much since she found out that Santana had guessed what happened to her, but since she already did know, Sam enlisted her help in setting up because, "Jonesy's gonna have to just take it as easy as possible. The announcement is gonna be hard enough on her. Days had passed since Sam got that call about Shadonza and he wanted to wait until not only this thing was over with, but she was at least fine with knowing that it was off of her chest before filling her in. He wouldn't be too late. All he needed was until tomorrow, maybe.

She posted herself at the window, watching people arrive. Unique came alone, as she asked. She just wasn't comfortable enough with any of Unique's little love interests to have them around, at a time like this. Jesse and Blaine had grabbed some things for Rachel and Kurt and came in Jesse's vehicle. They both came in and greeted her with hugs and kisses. Jesse sat down next to her and asked, "Need company?"

"I could use it. Sam is making me more stressed out by him stressing out about me not stressing out," she complained.

Jesse laughed a little and reminded her, "This is his first kid…" he looked at her baby bump sadly and mentioned, "Ours would have been 12 this year." Jesse cleared his throat and added, "And had it been a girl, I would be stressing you out every day about her becoming a young lady and possibly kissing boys!"

"How do you know that she wasn't going to be a lesbian?" She asked.

"I don't. I don't even know if she would have been a she." He reached out and touched her bump. "I just know that I would probably have been as flustered as Sam if you had gotten this far along with ours. Just… give the guy a break."

"Break his skinny little butt," she muttered, causing Jesse to laugh. "I think that maybe I need to eat something. Can you just grab me a sandwich or something?"

"Sure." Jonesy felt so dizzy and she was getting a headache. She just wanted to get this over with. She would have sent them all facebook messages if she didn't think that they would have all just come rushing to the house, anyway. Plus, this was something to say face to face, so that they could see its truth. It was heavy, but it had to happen.

Tina and Mike had picked Artie up. Puck arrived around the same time as Azimio and Dave did. Puck didn't bring Quinn and Sam claimed that he was "done with her." Jonesy was relieved that everyone was following the instructions – not bringing anyone extra and coming on time. By the time Mike, Tina, Kurt, Blaine, Unique, Rachel. Jesse, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Artie, Dave and Azimio were all there, Sam announced, "Everyone's here, Jones."

She looked around and didn't see any of her group therapy members, not even Sheila and she held her belly a moment. "None of the girls are here? Not even Sheila…"

"Sheila might not be able to make it. Some stuff came up, and the others never said, so…" Sam said. She whimpered and he held her free hand, "I'm here, and everybody here is your friend."

"Yeah, but Sheila, though… I should at least call her and check on her," she said.

"No, no… just… let's get this handled and then you can call her,' he said. She nodded and sat in the center of the room, while people ate and stuff.

Artie started out by saying, "Sorry about your friend. I saw her on the news."

"What friend?" She asked, but Sam threw Artie a look.

Artie simply said, "You know what, let's just see what you wanted to tell us. We can talk about that later, or whatever." He shrugged his shoulders at Sam and Jonesy gave Sam a look. Sam simply gave her a reassuring nod. But she was gonna get to the bottom of whatever the hell that was, later.

Jonesy messed with her hands and said, "I know that a few of you know some bits and pieces of stuff and in recent times, from what I understand, Finn has become a little bit more verbal about certain things, for example, there is a rumor out there that my baby may possibly be Finn's…"

"I never heard no shit like that!" Puck shouted, angrily.

Sam said, "Calm down, Puck… Shut the fuck up. No interruptions."

Jonesy cleared her throat and said, "I know that a lot of you all were mad with Finn after the night that he attacked me. I know that a few of you wanted to kick the shit out of him." Puck nodded his head vigorously, folding his arms. "Most of all me. I fucked his car up and I wanted to mess him up, so bad… but I knew that no matter what I did, I could never make it better, what he did to me."

"I never got my hands on him," Puck said.

"Puck!" Sam called and waved his hands to indicate that he needed to shut up.

Jonesy took a deep breath and said, "You guys watched as I disappeared, drifted away, then I resurfaced and I had all of these strange new friends that I was introducing you to and Britt asked me if I'd run away and joined a cult," she chuckled.

"I was only kidding," Brittany whispered.

"It's cool. I want to explain what happened, because I don't know how much of an issue its gonna be in the future, as far as this baby is concerned and it's stressing me out to continue holding on to this…"

"Jonesy, you don't have to do this," Azimio said.

"I do. I'll go crazy if I don't. I need as much support as I can get if he continues to try to fight me…"

"If who? Finn?" Tina asked.

"Let her speak, please?" Santana asked. Tina turned to look at Santana and they began to fuss a little bit about how she was talking to her and that caused others to try to calm them down and others to insist that Jonesy be allowed to talk. Jonesy decided that it was probably best to just get it out, before she panicked and dismissed herself and never told the truth.

"He raped me," she said and the room became silent after a heartbeat, when everyone realized what had just been said. Jonesy took a deep swallow and lowered her head. There was NO WAY that she could look up at them with her mask taken off at a time like this. Her breathing was hard. She felt hot, sick, a headache. There was a second wave of explosions.

"WHAT?" She heard Tina say. "HE DID WHAT?" Mike started trying to calm her down, as it was obvious that Jonesy was highly upset.

"So, not only is he a fucking woman beater, but he rapes them as well? I should sign up for a visit at the jail and just shank the shit out of him!" Puck exploded. Brittany was merely crying, in shock. Rachel and Kurt both went to see about Jonesy, amidst this chaos. Sam was still by her side until Dave and Puck started arguing. "You were supposed to always have her back and shit, don't you two usually handle things like this? Why is that fucker not in a fucking wheelchair?"

"You have a lot of talk for somebody who hasn't ever been there for her, ever," Dave commented and Azimio jumped in the middle, warning Puck to back off of Dave. Sam went to see about them and there was a knock on the door. The only person who seemed to notice the knocking at the moment was a still trembling Jesse, who decided to open it for them and saw Sam's brother and Sheila. Jesse stepped out of the way for them to enter.

Sheila rushed in, "Sorry I'm late, but I'm here, Jonesy!" She went to hug her and Jonesy stared at her in shock and horror.

"What happened to your face?" Jonesy asked as the grumbling continued.

"Oh, I got into a scruffle with somebody," Sheila said. "You already told them? I thought you would've waited on me. I texted. I guess you didn't get it."

"A scruffle, bitch? Explain! Were YOU in the news? Because somebody said something about heard what happened to my friend…" Jonesy said, holding her stomach, now.

"We can talk about it later," Sheila said. "You okay? You hurting? You need something?"

Jonesy began crying as she stood up and shrieked, "All of you, SHUT UP!" Her breathing was labored and now everyone was worried and crowded her to check on her and tried to calm her, but they were making things worse. This was a disaster. Sheila got shoved aside during this and said to Stevie, "I shouldn't have come, like you said. On top of Shad dying, I wasn't ready to be here."

"On top of what?" Jonesy asked, looking at her. Sheila jumped and whispered to Stevie _Is she talking to me? _He nodded, exchanging worried looks. Sam was trying to get everyone to give Jonesy space and there was a lot of clamor, so he couldn't even hear these side conversations occurring. Jonesy was still crying as it hit her that Sheila had said that Shadonza was _dead. _Sheila was all beat up. It was Shad's ex, it HAD to be… And Finn was just as crazy. What if he were to come for her? What if he hurt the baby? She felt dizzy, then she saw nothing else.

"Oh my God!" She heard, muffled then noise, then nothing.

Rachel's outcry was enough to tear Sam's attention from the shitstorm in the living room, but when he turned and saw Mercedes, his heart sank. She had fallen backwards and Rachel and Sheila were holding onto her so that she wouldn't hit the floor, but her eyes were fluttering, she seemed frozen, except for the uncontrollable shaking of her left hand and her head. "Call 911!" Rachel screamed. Sam was rushing to Mercedes as Tina quickly pulled out her phone and dialed.

"What happened?" He wondered.

"She fell back and was doing this," Sheila sobbed. Sam and Stevie helped to lower her to the floor, so she wouldn't be dropped. "What's happening? Is this a heartache or a stroke or something?" Sheila asked. "Oh my God, Jonesy… please!"

Sam shook his head, "I don't know, but please be quiet." When the others started to gather around them, he yelled, "NO! Stay back. Just, stay back and please, will all of you shut the fuck up?" He cradled her and tried to make her hand stop shaking. "Jonesy, baby… Can you talk? Can you tell me what's wrong?" His voice was trembling as he asked.

"She's having a seizure," Stevie said, helping Sam to position her better.

"A seizure? She doesn't have seizures!" Sam shouted.

"Everyone who does had to have a first one," Stevie said.

"Are they on their way?" Sam yelled out. Tina nodded, still on the phone. "For fuck's sakes, did you tell them that she's pregnant?"

"Yes, Sam! I told them everything I know," Tina said, sternly. She fumed and turned her back to him. "Yes, someone said that they think she might be having a seizure. No, no history of seizures…"

"Stevie, how bad is it for her to have a seizure while she's pregnant?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, Sammy," he said. "I'm sorry."

Mostly everyone followed them to the hospital. Sam was a blur when he called Godfrey. The man answered the phone so cheerily that for a moment, Sam didn't even want to speak. He cleared his throat and said, "Godfrey, its Sam."

"Hey, Sam. Everything alright?" He asked, concerned.

"No…" Sam fought off tears that were stinging his eyes. "Jonesy… Mercedes is in the hospital."

"What? Is it the baby?"

Sam's voice could barely come out, "She's had a seizure and they can't get her to regain consciousness."

"Oh my God… Ryvie… Mercy… She had a seizure… Sam! We're on our way. You hang in there, alright?"

"Yeah, course," Sam said and hung up. He squeezed his phone tightly and almost threw it down the hallway, but instead just groaned and fell back against the wall to slide and sit on the floor. He fought, hard not to let tears come out. He wanted to just have faith and be strong. He told her to fucking take it easy. He TOLD her, over and over, again… and all of these fucking people! She didn't even owe them an explanation, and yet, all they did was make the shit more stressful for her and fucking Sheila! He knew that Sheila didn't mean to, but she was supposed to just shut the fuck up until they had a chance to let Mercedes know, gently about her friend.

The combined bullshit, along with her already stressful fucking situation… "God, please, don't take her from me. Neither of them… I couldn't live without either of them, now." He slammed his head backwards, against the wall and asked, "Why do you hate her so much? Hasn't she already had to go through enough? Just… let me love her, now… If you don't, please, just let me. I didn't mean to say all that. Please don't be mad and decide to take her…" The tears poured down his face and he openly sobbed.

Sheila was going to go to him, but Stevie stopped her. "I don't want him to reflexively take a swing," he told her. Stevie went to sit next to Sam and reached out for him. Sam fell over onto his younger brother and cried. "She's gonna be fine, Sam. They got to her in time."

"And the baby?" Sam wondered.

"I don't know… But, maybe it's for the…"

"Don't." Sam looked up at him with glaring eyes, "Don't you dare finish that sentence." Stevie nodded and pushed Sam's head back onto himself. He took one of Sam's hands into his and rubbed his shoulder with the other. When Stevie was little and sad, Sam would do this for him. The last time had been a few years ago when Stevie and Kitty's relationship came to light and Sam told him, 'I'm always gonna be here for you. No matter what, you're my brother.' It was Sam's turn. Sheila could hardly take the image and she sat in a chair and shut her eyes to try to block it out, but she kept seeing everything that was going wrong!

_She and Shadonza had only stopped by her mother's for a few minutes, so he had to be lurking there, already. How he found Shad's mom's new house was a shock to them, because the woman moved in order to keep up communication with Shad, after shit hit the fan and she had to go into hiding. By the time that they came out of the house, there he was, anger in his eyes, with balled fists. "Where is my fucking baby, Shadonza?" He asked._

"_What baby?" She asked him, trying to rush to the car, but he cut her off._

"_You know what fucking baby! __**My**__ damn baby that you've managed to keep me from, then turned around and gave away!" He yelled. _

_Sheila stepped forward, "Hey, Dude. Look, she don't have any baby, okay? Just let us be on our way. You're trippin'."_

"_Bitch… don't you ever get in between a man and his woman!" He snapped at her. Sheila chuckled and headed for the car, shaking her head while Shadonza went off on him._

"_Lawrence, you don't talk to my friends like that! I am not your woman! We've BEEN over and I have a restraining order on you, in case you forgot. You're not supposed to be anywhere near me and the baby that's supposedly yours, it ain't none of my concern. I had a baby on my own and I gave it to some people who deserved one, which__** you**__ don't…" He slapped her in the face and she shoved him off._

_Sheila got out of the car and screamed, "Hey!" She called the police. Even if someone else was already calling, she called, still. Shadonza and the guy were fist fighting! _

_She rushed over as he started choking her friend, demanding, "Tell me where my fucking baby is!" Sheila clawed at his hands to get him to release Shad. It worked… He let out a pained growl, then punched Sheila in the side of the head, knocking her into the car, then smashed her face into the roof of the car, which split her head open and dropped her to her hands and knees. When he looked like he was going for Sheila again, claiming, "I warned you, Bitch…" Shadonza roared and rushed him, slamming him against the car to stop him. "And you!" He said, turning to grab her and throw her against the car, turning the tables. He really didn't say much more. He seemed to have made it up in his mind that all he wanted now was to hurt her. So, he punched her, and he didn't stop. Even when she was obviously done, obviously over, he just kept hitting her…_

Sheila shook her head as her eyes flew open. Stevie looked worried as he looked up at her. He didn't want to leave Sam, but Sheila was… his love. She forced a sad smile in his direction, cleared her throat and got up. She came over and said, "I'm gonna go get some water. I'll bring you some, too." She reached out for his hand and he squeezed hers and smiled softly. "I'll bring Sam some, too." Stevie looked at Sam, but Sam wasn't responsive. His feet were moving around nervously and he was gnawing on his lips and trembling under Stevie's arm. He had too much on his mind. Stevie nodded, though and let go of Sheila's hand so that she could make that trip.

"I'll walk with you," Rachel said. The two of them headed through the hallway and Rachel told her, "I have a bag that we can just put bottles of water in for everyone. I still can't believe this happened." Tears welled up in her eyes and Sheila almost told her to shut up and leave her alone – which was really why she had left, to be alone.

Instead, she said, "Hopefully, she'll be alright."

Rachel bit her lip and nodded. Sheila looked at her, "You… the guy that attacked Jonesy and you were in something… Did you ever worry that he might come after you again? I mean… Like… I don't know if it's something like he would come after Jonesy and leave you be or if he would come after you both. I guess I'm trying to get into the mind of a fucking psychopath, for a moment."

"I'm sorry. I don't know. I think that he's obsessed with Jonesy. I was just someone that he took his anger out on, over her. But, I do know that if Finn were to come after Jonesy, Sam would defend her. You don't have to worry about that… I'm sorry about your friend."

Sheila sighed and folded her arms, "She knew. At the end, it was like… I could tell she knew he was going to come for her, or she was at least worried about it and I kept reassuring her that it wouldn't happen." Sheila scoffed, "The first person to be murdered in the New Year… like that shit is an award or something. They stopped at a vending machine that had bottles of water and accepted cards. Rachel volunteered to get them. She didn't say anything else to Sheila. She didn't know what TO say. That was good. Sheila didn't want to hear shit.

_ Shadonza and Dottie were shooting the breeze. Shad was telling Dottie all about her friend that Dottie had only had the chance to meet when she came around the graveyard. Sheila called out, "Shad!" And tried to run to them but, something was keeping her away from them. Shad looked at her, sadly, but then smiled and said, "You can't come where I am, Booski. Stay where you are! It's a good place. I would've stayed. I just couldn't." Sheila cried and touched the barrier. "Look, I'll take care of your girl Dottie and she'll take care of me. How about that?" Sheila backed away, sniffling. Dottie smiled at her and waved her fingers. She sadly waved to them, too… until someone else came up behind her and she saw a hand going through the barrier. "Jonesy, no…" Sheila begged._

_Jonesy looked at her and smiled and said, "Sheils – none of us have control over things like this." She moved forward, going through the barrier, but Sheila latched on to her and wouldn't let go._

"_Fuck this shit! I'm not watching anybody else leave me without me joining them!" She insisted. Jonesy touched her arms and walked through with her, but moments later, Sheila was ejected from the barrier and the other three were on the other side._

"_Take care of Sam, for me," Jonesy said._

"_No!" _

Sheila jumped up and yelped, "No!" Stevie rubbed her shoulder and she took a deep breath. She didn't remember dozing off, but she had. She asked Stevie, "Where's Sam?"

"He's in the room with her family," Stevie said.

"Is she awake?" She wondered, setting up straight.

"I don't know. I just know that they said she's stable," Stevie said.

"That's… okay right… like… not gonna die status, huh?" Sheila asked.

Stevie smiled and told her, "So far, yeah. If something else happens, I can't say. For the moment, 'not gonna die status' is precisely where she is." Sheila squeezed his hand and he kissed the back of hers. "I'm gonna be here for you, Honeybee… whatever happens."

Jonesy opened her eyes to see Sam holding Ra and heard him say, "She's as pretty as a princess, just like you." She blinked a few times and finally was able to focus on them and saw that his eyes were bloodshot and she knew he'd been crying, though he was smiling. "And now, she awakens." Ra reached for Mercedes, but Sam brought her closer to himself. "Oh, but she can't hold you right now. She's hurting."

"What the hell happened?" Jonesy croaked.

"You had a seizure," Godfrey told her, but when she looked worried assured her, "You're fine, Babycakes is fine… they just have to keep you for observation."

"How did I have a seizure? I thought that only people with some kind of condition had seizures," she said.

The doctor explained something called 'eclampsia' to her and why they didn't realize that she might be likely to have a seizure – because there really were no tests to determine that sort of thing. They could try to alleviate the symptoms that she had been having – high blood pressure, headaches, upper abdominal pain, muscle aches and blurred vision she had been dealing with… but all of those things could have meant many other things and there were a few other symptoms that she didn't have, so knowing for sure that this would happen was impossible, but – now that they knew it had happened, they could better formulate a way for her to be alright.

"Is Mercury okay, though?" Jonesy asked, touching her belly as she did. Ryvie pursed her lips at the name. _She was really running with that hippy ass pagan name? Honestly?_ The doctor told her that there was some distress from the baby and they were waiting on results of tests to figure out if there was any permanent damage that could be detected. But, her vitals were fine. Jonesy took a deep breath. "Is anybody else here?" She wondered.

"The waiting room is full of random scruffy people that I have never met before, and Jesse," Ryvie commented.

"Everyone's here," Sam told her, quickly cutting Ryvie off. The woman had been irritable and irate with mostly everyone when they couldn't get Jonesy to respnd and even threatened one of the male nurse's anatomy. Sam didn't want her mood bleeding over. Jonesy didn't need it, right now. "We love you, Jonesy. Where else would we be?"

She smiled a little and said, "I should have sent out a mass text, about that issue." She and Sam laughed a little bit. "So… um… Shad?" She gave him a look.

Sam sighed feeling guilty, but still justified. "I was going to tell you after the announcement. I didn't want all of that piled up on you at once, and judging by what happened, I wasn't wrong in trying to spare you additional stress."

"No, but what about services and all of that?" She asked.

"I wouldn't recommend going to something like that in your condition, Merce," Godfrey said. "We can just send the family something nice, but you aren't going to be able to do anything for a while and what you are able to do should be relaxing. A funeral or wake or any of that will only upset you."

Sam nodded, "Don't worry, she wasn't going. I might tie her to the bed for the next three months and feed her until she gets the itis over and over to keep her subdued." Jonesy burst into laughter and then held herself when she did, causing Sam to dart towards her belly and wonder, "You okay?" One of his arms kept Ra tightly and the other hand checked on Babycakes.

Her eyes widened, "Yes, goodness… you're gonna be worse than you were before, now, aren't you?"

"You're damn skippy! I thought I was gonna watch my wife and baby die today. You gets no kind of leeway for me to go through that again," Sam said, seriously.

"Dropped the "W" bomb," Godfrey said and held his hand out to Ryvie for some cash.

"You two do things like this, just all the time?" Jonesy asked, shaking her head.

"For every debate, there is a winner and a loser," Ryvie told her. Godfrey and I have a lot of debates and to make them more interesting, we put our money where our mouths are. It's mostly to entertain ourselves and keep things between us playful and light." She smiled at him and said, "And he said a WHILE back that Sam was going to haul off and call you his wife one day. I gave Sam more credit than that. Never again, Sam. Never again."

"Leave my husband alone, Mom," Jonesy said and winked at Sam.

"You heffer," Ryvie said, shaking her head. She looked at Godfrey and told him, "I'm cleaned out, Godfrey. You accept kisses in place of cash?"

"Noooo!" Mercedes exaggerated, covering her eyes with her hands. Sam laughed and kissed her on the temple.

"Surely you know how you and Ra were born, right? I didn't plant you two," Ryvie said, settling on the edge of the bed and taking Ra off of Sam's hands.

"I want to thank everyone for coming," Jonesy said, concerned about her friends.

"I'll do it. You just have to rest and get better, for me, if not for yourself. I need you. I need both of you," Sam told her, trying not to start crying, again, though his emotions were being stirred as he thought about how he felt earlier when he thought that they were going to leave them. Jonesy reached out and cupped his cheek with one of her hands. "I was really scared. I prayed and everything… well, sort of."

"I'm sorry that I scared you, but I'm fine right now," she said.

"The condition that you have is serious. It could be fatal to you or to Babycakes and we need to make sure that we do everything to prevent anything else happening. I already told Unique that you can't help her like you've been doing…"

"Sam!" Jonesy complained.

"No. I left it up to you before and you refused to take it easy. You don't know how to take things easy. So, she'll have to moderate how she handles your work load, IF you even can go back. This is really important, Jonesy…" Sam practically begged.

"I know. I'll do whatever it takes, Sam." She gave him a small smile. His face was still worried, but at least she knew that he would be okay as long as she was okay.


	29. Chapter 29

**Don't Make Me Over 29**

Mercedes knew that she was not getting the full story… like… about anything, but that was probably for the best. The tension between her mom and Sam was already bothering her and she didn't even know what had happened. She'd presume that it was Maryvonne's fault. Tension usually was, if she was around it. When her family made moves to leave, she watched her mother jerk her head subtly and nonchalantly towards the door at Sam and when he went to her, she faintly heard her whisper, but that harsh Ryvie tone was present, "The shit isn't over, by a longshot," she said, with a smile.

"You don't control me," he replied and gave her and Ra a hug and shook Godfrey's hand as the man frowned at his wife. Sam returned to Mercedes' bedside and asked, "Need anything? Wanna see anybody?"

"Who's still here? I wanna see everybody," she commented.

"You can see three at a time and I'ma be in here, no matter who it is. We got Dave and Azimio out there, Mike and Tina – which for some reason I JUST NOW realized rhymes with Ike and Tina and I don't know if I find that funny or scary – Kurt and Rachel, Jesse's still here," he rolled his eyes when he said his name, "Unique, Blaine – I mean, everyone's here. Nobody left."

"You didn't say Stevie and Sheila," she noticed.

Sam sighed and gave her a smile, "You don't really need to see Sheila, right now. She'll just upset you and you can't be upset, not even for a little bit. I love Sheila and all, but not like that. I can't put our family through what happened today again. I'm not gonna make it through another one of those, Jonesy." He reached for her hand and squeezed it. "She's gonna understand. Everybody's gonna just have to understand – I stood back before and I won't do it again." Sam kissed her on the top of the head, then rubbed her belly with his free hand. "She's already as strong as her momma."

Jonesy looked at his hand contrasting on her dark flesh and covered it with a tiny hand of her own, with a smile. "Is she? I hope her momma doesn't put her in another position to test that out, though…" She looked up at Sam with damp eyes and when she saw the concerned look on his face, she lost it. The tears came streaming down. "I just felt like I needed to keep myself occupied so that I wouldn't think about the bad stuff and the possible problems…"

"It ain't your fault, Jonesy. Now, calm down before you stress my baby out, Woman. She's already had a hard day." He cupped her belly with both hands and gave it a small smooch, then rested his head on it. "You can wait before taking any company. We'll just sit here a little while. I can sing y'all a song, or something."

Jonesy sniffled, "That would be nice."

Sam stroked her skin and began singing to them in a soft voice, "Sometimes, it feels like I'm gonna break. Sometimes this world gives more than I can take. Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain, and it keeps pouring down. It just keeps coming down. This life would kill me if I didn't have you. I couldn't live without you baby. I wouldn't want to. If you didn't love me so much, I'd never make it through. 'Cause this life would kill me. This life would kill me if I didn't have you…"

Jesse had his arms folded and his eyebrows furrowed. Rachel rubbed his arm and he tried to force a smile, but she could see his concern. "They said that she's stable, Jesse," she told him, trying to smooth out the crinkles in his forehead.

"I'm actually thinking about something else," he said, with bloodshot eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She wondered.

"No," he said, politely, but it still hurt her feelings. She nodded and sighed, then fiddled with her skirt while he stared out into space.

_ Jesse had his arms wrapped around Mercedes as they strolled through the hallway together. He wondered how they would be when she started getting bigger and more cranky. She wasn't someone he saw himself with forever, but now – they were connected forever and he didn't know what to do with that, but it wasn't _horrible. _In fact, he was certain that he was starting to fall for her. He never anticipated that. Actually, a few short weeks ago, if anyone had suggested that he would be a senior with a pregnant girlfriend and not be devastated by it, he would have thought them to be crazy. But, he really liked her and cared about her and now… they were gonna have this… whatever between them. _

_ … He spent a lot of time crying when he was alone. Not even really for the aborted thing… It wasn't even a baby yet. Whatever it was, it had brought him and Mercedes closer together and now, they were completely torn apart. She… barely even looked at him and when she did, it was not at all the same. He missed her, missed them, missed that hope of what they could be, what they could have been. He was so glad to run off to New York right after graduation, but even being gone, they were in communication. He couldn't break that thread between them and for a time, when he came back into town, he couldn't resist the urges. He still wanted her… _

_ The last time was the worse. She was living with Sam and he came into town and bunked in her bedroom. This was about three years before her miscarriage scare, and Jesse told her that he didn't have any condoms. She wasn't to be deterred, though. He was actually more turned on by not having one. He made love to her in a way that they never had, before – still rough, because that's how she liked it and he wasn't going to disappoint her. When he came to completion, he held her tightly closely and came inside of her, exhilarated by how that felt. She was still the only person he had EVER done that with before (and after their first mishap, he was always extra careful not to ever make mistakes with another woman). With her, it wasn't a mistake. It was perfect._

_ He didn't mean to say it. He didn't mean to do that to her. It just came out. "I want you to have my baby…" He was as shocked as she was when she shoved him off of her, mid post orgasm bliss and pushed past him to get to the bathroom. "Jonesy… I'm sorry… FUCK!" He climbed out of bed and went after her. He was naked, knocking on her door. "Please, I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say that."_

"_Did you MEAN it?" she asked, crying._

_He sighed, "I… did… but, I know that's not happening." He rested his head on the door and said, weakly, "I miss what we had and I still think about what we could've had. I got caught up in the moment. Please, come out…" And he heard something shuffling and turned to see Sam walk in. Jesse sighed and said, "Hi, Sam…" Then, the door opened and Jonesy rushed out and Jesse went into the bathroom to grab a towel. _

_Jonesy sniffled and asked Sam, "What are you doing in here?"_

"_Did he hurt you?" Sam asked._

"_Can you leave, please?" She practically shrieked at Sam. "Both of you! Get the fuck out of my room!" She squealed and proceeded to shove Sam out, then pull Jesse and shove him too. He stood in the hallway with folded arms and fumed. _

"_Can you give me fucking stuff, at least?" He yelled at her._

"_Don't, Dude. I don't know what you did, but don't talk to her that way."_

_Jesse opened his mouth to say something when Jonesy threw all of his possessions out of the room. He yelled through the door, "I'm sorry that you can't handle anybody caring about you or wanting you, but that's not a reason to treat people like shit! For wanting you? For CARING FOR YOU? Why is that punishable, Mercedes? Make me understand?" She opened the door and slammed his keys into his palm, then shut the door in his face. Jesse chuckled and looked at the keys. "I hope you're pregnant!" He snapped and turned to Sam, "Don't be the fucking fool that falls for her!" He said, snatching his possessions from the floor and storming out, wrapped in a towel._

_ She called him the next day to apologize and he forgave her, but it was obvious that whatever the thread was – even though it would never go away, it would never pull them together again. _

It hurt to see her going through what she was going through, but it also stirred up stuff that he thought was gone. He felt bad for Sam, but… oddly enough… he envied him, too; especially when they found out that everything was alright. That was so fucked up! He should have been happy for them both, just as her friend. But, he was envious. He wanted to be in there, with her, celebrating the victory of a baby surviving. That really bothered him. He felt uncomfortable with Rachel looking at him, -wondering what was wrong. He couldn't figure it out. But, he didn't want to make an issue out of it. It was probably just the situation. It triggered something… yeah… that had to be it. "I was going to be a father, once, but I was too young and our parents decided that she needed an abortion," Jesse admitted, pained to mention it.

Rachel thought hard before asking… "Was… was it Mercedes?"

He nodded, gently and sighed. "It kind of messed us both up, but mine wasn't as obvious. I… like… really wanted that to work out and it didn't and sometimes, it still bothers me. It hasn't in quite some time, but today, something was triggered and I can't stop thinking about it. I wanted a family with her and she just… shut me out."

Rachel nodded, too. "You're a great person, Jesse and I'll bet that you'll have a wonderful family, some day." She patted him on the shoulder. _But, I refuse to be a replacement for Mercedes again._

"I don't want it with her, necessarily. She's just my natural go to place when I think about it, because we almost… I'm not in love with her and I no longer want to have a family with her, Rachel. I know how you think."

"You do," she said and smiled softly.

"It's one of those things that I can't explain, but I know it isn't _that._"

She held his hand and sighed. "Okay. I believe you," she told him and pressed her forehead to his. "If you try not to shut me out, I'll try not to shut you out."

"Deal."

Maryvonne waited, seated with Sue, in her slick suit, enjoying a hearty meal while the client watched for Carol Hudson Hummel to enter. She had been given enough time and today, Ryvie was having none of her ignorant shit. The woman walked into the place and Ryvie upturned her nose at her. "Play. Nice," Sue said sternly.

"Your. Ass," Maryvonne answered, just as seriously and rolled her eyes as Carol sat down.

Sue greeted Carol with a, "Carol Hudson Hummel, take a seat and look over the menu. I recommend the steak and eggs. I order mine bloody rare with the eggs over easy, runny yolks. Mrs. Jones orders hers Kosher, medium rare, with extra zest, and the lobster and caviar omelet drenched in hollandaise. She shouldn't have hollandaise with the condition of her heart, but she loves the stuff. However, as you can see, today, she has no plate, because she has no appetite. Would you like to order, Carol?"

"No, thank you," Carol said, trying not to look at Maryvonne.

Sue shrugged, "Suit yourself. Down to business…"

"It's personal," Maryvonne said.

"No one asked you," Sue reminded her, and passed her the basket of bread. "Have one." Ryvie rolled her eyes and took one of the soft, small loaves to break a piece and dip it into her dipping oil and herbs. "Carol, we drew up a proposition for you and gave you more than enough time to consider the offer…" Sue simply raised an eyebrow as the completion of her thought and took another bite of her steak. "Mmm! So good! There is a crew of top chefs in this place and we can request dishes from different ones."

"There is no price that can be put on my love for my son," Carol said.

"Let me tell you about some love for a child…" Ryvie said. Sue just continued to eat. "I watched my daughter from afar become this woman that I didn't know and couldn't even understand, because what I thought was loving her was doing nothing to help her. I watched her get into situations repeatedly that hurt her and damaged her and watched those things change her, at times for the better, at times for the worse. In the past few months, I watched her become a different woman, and I was allowed to see it up close and personal, because of the baby that she has inside of her, she's made some decisions to try to live life differently. Yesterday, I watched her almost have to be induced into a coma to stop seizing, because she's had to have such a stressful and unfavorable pregnancy – you know the kind that comes from when loving sons attack and rape other people's children?" Carol bit her tongue and took a deep breath, "What? You got something you want to say?" Ryvie asked.

"Ryvie," was all Sue said and the woman went back to what she was saying.

"After the doctors were able to stop her from seizing, there was something going wrong with the baby, because of I don't know – all of the trauma her mother and hostess were causing with the seizure… and then this wonderful things happened – the doctor informed her _boyfriend, _in front of her father and I that he was listed as her next of kin and might be charged with a decision of whom to save, if only one could be salvaged. And… and he said – 'it has to be the baby.' The baby! The rape baby that your beastly monster son gave her without her permission that she for whatever reason kept which also contributed to her having a damn seizure in the first place! That's who he wanted to save. If it would have come to it, I couldn't say shit about it. I lost that right a long time ago and Mercedes gave it to someone else."

Carol's eyes were getting damp and she was still holding back, but Ryvie continued, "And when I objected, he said to me – _'She'll hate me, she'll hate everything if I choose her. Neither of us would be able to have her anyway! This baby is too important to Jonesy and I don't give a shit if deep down inside I resent her, I'm not going to let that baby if I have the chance to save her. Jonesy would easily tell all of us that the baby is more important!' _Maryvonne's eyes glazed over and she thought about the heated argument between herself and Sam.

_She said things to hurt him and he attacked right back. "You haven't learned your lesson from the last time you had her baby killed?" He asked. He wasn't even trying to hurt her. It was a serious question, on his part, but it cut her deep._

"_She was only a couple of months along. It wasn't a baby and it ws the best decision for her…"_

"_It wasn't your decision to make!" He fussed, "And this isn't either. I love Jonesy more than anything in this fucking world, more than myself, more than you even ever could try to love her. That's why I'm not going to be selfish and say that I have to have her alive, even if she ends up worse off than she ever was! I'd rather see her dead than to see how she would be if I decided to save her and let our baby die!" Ryvie glared at him and wanted to say more, but her chest was hurting and Godfrey had to sit her down and make her calm._

She blinked at Carol and said, "So, that's a little synopsis of your son's great work and the fruits of his labor." Ryvie nodded, then suddenly mocked alert realization, "But wait, you actually contributed more to my daughter's stress in the past few weeks than your son, who she has barred from her life. So, maybe, since I can't get my hands on him I ought to just put them on you, while I have you here…" Maryvonne leaned back in her chair, folded her arms and glared at the woman.

"Carol Hudson Hummel – do you want the money, or do you want to see my face in a court setting?" Sue simply asked.

Carol took a deep breath and said, "I will leave the issue alone for the price that was offered to me."

"Under the stipulation that the money is NOT bestowed upon Finn Hudson," Maryvonne reminded her.

Sue clarified, "If we find out that you've given even one cent of Jones issued money, you will regret that you ever agreed to meet me. You will loathe even the thought of me. As stated in the contract, the money will be given to you in agreement to diminish unnecessary stress to Mercedes Jones specifically in matters regarding her daughter. The agreement states that you are legally waiving any claims to her daughter as a guardian or otherwise, that you will make no contact with Mercedes Jones, nor her daughter in the future, that should your son make an act against Mercedes Jones as it relates to her daughter, you will not involve yourself in it in any way, shape or form and breaking this legal contract can and will result in you being sued for the entire amount given you, as well as additional fees such as court costs, medical bills associated with any stress or trouble your actions may have brought upon and a healthy amount for pain and suffering…"

"Wait…" Carol started, but Sue continued to speak.

"Should you decide not to sign the agreement, you are not legally obligated not to make attempts to contact Mercedes Jones or her daughter, but as a result of her current medical condition, we have already drawn up triggering factors of her health complications and listed you and your son among those factors. The doctor has signed off on a document that indicates that he strongly recommends that Mercedes Jones not be exposed to these factors, and while it is legal for you to do so until you actually threaten or harm her; (Maryvonne mumbled, 'I wish she would try it'), it would not look good in a court of law while battling for custody over a child who isn't yours to begin with that you were informed by a lawyer that your presence and activity could cause harm to the unborn child and you yet proceeded." Sue took another bite of steak. "This thing is the best one that I have had here yet. I am definitely going to request this guy for my steak and eggs in the future."

Carol reached for the paper and wondered, "Could I have my lawyer look over this?"

Sue tapped the contract with the tip of her fork, "Oh, she has. Fran J. Fabray, correct? We had lunch and went over it. You can call her up and ask her what she thinks of it. We'll wait."

Maryvonne reached for a menu, "You know, I think I'll get my regular and some freshly squeezed lemonade, sweetened and slushed."

"Oh, I think I'll get a lemonade slushie, too!" Sue said, waving over a waiter.

"It isn't a slushie. A slushie is one of those ice and flavored high fructose corn syrup. You can't get that shit in this fancy establishment. This is a genuine, delicious and natural drink infused with slushed ice."

"It's like an all-natural virgin daiquiri," Sue told Carol. "You should have one while you're talking with little Frannie. I'll order you one." Carol bit her lip and read over the paper, while she tried to get Frannie on the phone. Sue continued to talk to Maryvonne, as though Carol was not even a factor. Whether or not she signed the paper, they had won. In fact, it was better for them if she DIDN'T sign, because not only would she not receive a penny, but she could never contend with them in a courtroom. She couldn't contend with them at a restaurant.

Carol sighed when she heard Quinn's voice, "Quinnie! Hi, Love. It's Carol…"

"Carol let me stop you," Quinn said. "Give me just a moment, please." Carol heard Quinn shuffling around to get something and when she began speaking, it was obvious that she was reading, "Carol Hudson Hummel, the law offices of Fabray, Smythe and Associates have looked over your information and decided not to proceed with further representing you. If necessary, we can provide you with possible references more suitable to your current needs. We apologize for any inconvenience and wish you the best in your future legal matters. If you have any questions, please submit them to our website and we will address them at our earliest convenience. Please note that all lawyers in the office are currently working on cases and responses may be delayed."

"Quinnie…" Carol said, sadly.

"Carol…" Quinn repeated, just as sadly; "Do you need me to repeat myself for further clarification?"

"No… I understand. Thank you."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said. "If there's nothing else, I'm not allowed to say anything else to you but the office's decision for conflict of interest."

"Conflict? What conflict?" Carol wondered.

"If there's nothing else, have a good day, Carol. Good luck." Quinn hung up the phone and Carol put hers into her purse as Maryvonne and Sue enjoyed chatter and frozen lemonade. Carol turned to look at the women, with damp eyes.

"Need a pen and a tissue?" Sue asked. Carol shook her head and grabbed a pen from her purse to sign the paper. "Did you have any questions? Concerns?"

"Quinnie mentioned some type of conflict of interest or something. I didn't understand that."

Sue tilted her head and said, "Hmm… That's interesting."

Maryvonne said to Sue, "Oh – did I tell you that Sam is going to go through the steps to adopt my granddaughter. I believe that the offices of Fabray, Smythe and associates are handling the details of it."

"Oh!" Sue said. "Well, you'll have to congratulate them, for me. THAT must be why representing Carol would be a conflict of interest, because she was trying to steal the baby. I understand, now."

Carol shoved the paper to Sue and asked, "How do I get my money?"

Sue rolled her eyes, "You didn't _read _that part?" Sue flipped the paper over to her and tapped it with her fork. "I'm not your lawyer. You're expected to read anything that you sign. I have no legal obligation to explain it to you… which is why you should utilize a lawyer." Carol sighed and began to read, to try to look for this information. Meanwhile, Sue and Maryvonne continue talking and Maryvonne glared at the top of Carol's head.

"The amount will be in an account that is going to be monitored and I can't make withdrawals of cash from it?" Carol asked. "Is that legal?"

"Of course it is. You signed off on it," Sue said. "We have to have something set in place to assure that you won't be using any of my clients' money on Finn Hudson. It shouldn't be a problem, considering that you weren't going to do that anyway, because you understand that it would be a breach of contract." Carol frowned. "And that one is my copy. I gave you your copy the last time we talked. If you need another, I will be more than happy to mail you one." Carol gave her the paper and got up to leave.

Maryvonne said, "If he ever tries anything again with my daughter, I'll kill him." Carol froze and looked at the woman. Ryvie simply smiled and lifted her glass of lemonade to the woman, who quickly left, afterwards.

"That wasn't a smart thing to say," Sue warned.

"It slipped out," Ryvie told her. Sue shook her head. "Oh – you were as bad as me!"

"Being mean, but not making a threat on someone's life, for crying out loud, Ryvie!" Sue laughed, then waved a hand at Ryvie to silence her and answered her phone, "Mom… I swear to God, if you're calling about the same shit, I am going to hire someone to blwo your brains out!" Ryvie shook her head, now. "This isn't the same thing. This is my mother. This is how we talk… One of my clients, Mom. No, I don't find it unprofessional. You know what? She's about to hear some even more inappropriate shit if you called about the family legal stuff you dragged me into!" Maryvonne got up and kissed Sue on the cheek, squeezed her hand and waved to her on the way out.

Maryvonne walked out to the front of the building and handed the valet her ticket. Lunch went well, even though she was still seething about Sam Evans. She didn't really like him very much to begin with, but she knew that he loved Mercedes, so there was no need to be concerned about him. But, that situation at the hospital rubbed her the wrong way.

"_You would rather save a baby that you haven't gotten the chance to meet yet – a baby that a monster gave her and will probably fight you for, especially if Mercedes dies, than to save HER?" Maryvonne practically squealed._

_Sam was crying and she knew that this was a hard decision for him, but his behavior was more of a reason for him not to be allowed to make such decisions. "I've already spoken, Ryvie!" He snapped. "The reason you can't accept it is because you don't know how to love people how they need to be loved. You want to love them in your own way! Don't think that Jonesy's condition hasn't been effected also by your crazy, mobster type retribution shit!" _

_Ryvie reached out to punch him, but Godfrey grabbed her fist and commented, "Both of you need to lower your voices and try to calm down. Both of you have a point, but Ryvie… the hospital already told us – Mercedes has SAM listed to make this decision, IF it even comes to that. The doctor said to be prepared, but not that it was definite."_

"_If there's even a chance that this little fuck is gonna just let my baby die for a baby that nobody else will want but her, then he needs to be far the hell away from both of them!"_

"_That's my family!" Sam snarled. "How DARE you? She's more my baby than she will be your granddaughter and with that kind of fucking attitude, maybe YOU should be kept away from her, just like Carol fucking Hummel." Maryvonne's eyes widened and she stormed down the hallway, to find some place to get some air._

"_Tension is high, Sam. But, you please try to watch what you say. Ryvie's not the softest person alive, I already know that, but she is the mother of one of the people whose life is endangered right now and the grandmother of the other. I know this can't be easy for you. Just try to understand that it isn't easy for her, either," Godfrey said._

_Sam rubbed his forehead, "I'm sorry, Godfrey. I didn't mean to disrespect her. I just… I feel like I can't breathe and that she's trying to fight for me to suffocate all the way." Maryvonne stopped and leaned against the wall. Godfrey and Sam both rushed to her and helped her to a chair._

"_Sam… PLEASE, don't let my girl die. She wouldn't even have to know that it was a decision. She could just think that there was no other choice!" Ryvie cried._

"_I… wish that it was that simple. I can't do that to her, though. We love her in different ways, Ryvie. My way doesn't leave room for that." He sniffled as Maryvonne broke into a fit of sobs and Godfrey had to console her. Sam sobbed too, now, walking down the hallway back towards the room and their friends in the waiting room. He was about to collapse when the doctor appeared with a smile and a 'Good news, Mr. Evans.'_

When the valet returned with Maryvonne's vehicle, she got in and drove away, with a car behind her car. Carol was not the type to hurt anyone, but she had to talk to this woman again. There was something about her that wasn't right, and Carol had a feeling that she knew something about Finn's attack. Ryvie got home and got out of her car then furrowed her eyebrows at the unfamiliar car pulling up next to hers. When she saw the driver, she frowned and reached into her handbag. "I need to ask you about something."

"No… you need to get off of my property. You JUST signed papers to indicate that. You want to lose your money, already?" Ryvie asked.

"Did you do that to my son?" Carol asked, crying. "I have to know!"

"No… you have to get off of my property," Maryvonne pulled out her small handgun and pointed it at Carol, "Or I am going to shoot you." Carol raised her hands up and backed away, getting back into her car. "And if he comes for anybody in my family, I'll shoot him ON SIGHT," she said still pointing the gun at the woman through the car. By the time she drove off, Maryvonne took a deep breath and put her weapon away as she called Sue to tell her what had just happened.

Jonesy smiled at all of the gifts and stuff that were in the house when she finally was allowed to go home after a few days. She had not been able to talk to her mother all of that time and felt a little bit bad that she was relieved about that. Sam settled her in the bedroom and started trying to set up things for her to be able to be comfortable but not completely bored. "I am gonna be able to go to the premiere of the show, aren't I?" She worried.

"Yeah, Baby, of course. You worked too hard on everything." He kissed her on the temple and went to get some other things straight as she fought the huge urge to get out of the bed. It was all that she wanted to do, but the doctor told her to take it easy and she wanted to be able to get up and move around for the premiere of the Diva Experience. She knew that Sam would be right at her side, probably making it impossible for her to do virtually anything, but as long as she was able to see things come to fruition, she was at least partially satisfied.

Visits were especially awkward for her. Everyone was trying to do everything for her and they all were babying her. She couldn't tell if the kid gloves were because of the confession or because of the seizure, but they were all bugging her with it. She had a moment, but she wasn't fine china. Ugh! Kurt was particularly weird. All of the joking that they generally did was stifled. "Kurt, I need you to lighten up, PLEASE! Everyone else is stuffy enough. I need you to remain sassy and social."

"Sorry, Bay. Stuff on my mind," he said.

"Like what?" She wondered. "Maybe talking it out could help you out."

"Family stuff," he said and folded his arms, shaking his head. She took a swallow and nodded, understanding – nothing to talk about with her. "Good news is that Carol totally is off of the subject of the baby." He smiled. "Not that she would have gotten her, anyway."

Jonesy rolled her eyes, "My mom gave her money to go away."

"Really?" Kurt asked. "Well, at least she's leaving you alone." Kurt sighed, "Hopefully Finn follows suit."

"If he doesn't, at least I see that I have a wonderful support system. I didn't realize that I was as important to everybody as everybody made me feel the past few days…" Jonesy admitted.

"Of course, Girl. We love. All of us." He climbed into the bed and rested next to her and took her hand. "In fact, I love you more than my own family." He kissed her hand and held it close to himself. So, whatever it was, it was about her.

"Kurt…"

"Hey, I thought we were gonna have a Drag Race marathon," he commented and she smiled and turned it on, careful not to bring anything up again.


End file.
